"Hey, um, can I ask you a question?" Pam asked, suddenly sounding much more sober than she had in hours.

"Shoot"

"Have you been secretly in love with me ever since the first day we met, and just been too afraid to say anything because you knew I'd end up rejecting you and breaking your heart no matter how great of a kisser you are?"

"YES! Oh my gosh, Pam! How did you know that?"

"Oh, I know a lot more about you than you'd think,” she responded smugly.

"But…how?"

"Duh, Jim, I'm psychic! I've been reading your thoughts for years. And may I just say right now, that you have quite the entertaining fantasy life!" she snorted, remembering some of the juicier details she’d picked up from his brain over the years.

"But! You! You are evil like a hobbit, Pam!" Jim’s voice was nearly screeching. He couldn’t believe Pam had been laughing at him all along.

"I know,” she laughed, “but think about what a great story this will make for my memoirs."

Jim was furious. His anger seethed within him as he kept thinking about what Pam had been doing for so long. In a flash, he no longer loved her; he hated her.

"No way Pam!” he screamed furiously. “I will not let you reveal such embarrassing information about me to the whole world."

"Well, if you want to stop me, you're going to have to kill me."

"I guess if that's the way it has to be..." he said, sounding resigned.

And with that he lunged at Pam. His hands went straight for her neck and in a few seconds it was all over.

"I will never love again." Jim concluded remorsefully, his eyes filled with tears he was shedding just a few seconds too late.

Pam’s will was read a few weeks later, and everyone cried when they learned that she had left Jim all of her Dundies.