“So, what’s this interview about?
“Yeah, I remember Dunder-Mifflin.
“Oh, a reunion? Well, I still don’t know what you want with me. I mean, I was only there during a few of the episodes.
“Of course I remember Jim. He was one of those guys who seems really, really charming for like, the first…three months, and then he turns around and dumps you for no reason. Jerk.
“Well, yeah, he was hot. He had this whole little-boy-next-door thing going on, y’know? But then…(leans forward)…he was so good in bed…!
“Oh, he said that? (laughs nervously) He’s just trying to be a gentleman. He’s into that. Too bad he wasn’t more of a gentleman about dumping me.
“Okay, what have I been up to…well, the purse thing didn’t end up being a huge moneymaker, so I did Mary Kay for a while, but I couldn’t stand the regional director, so I ended up going with my first love…purses…but now I’m working at Neiman Marcus.
“Love life? No great prospects, I’ll tell you that…did Jim ask you to ask that?
“Well, I mean…I’m still mad about how he broke up with me, but if he was interested in apologizing…things could happen.
“Yeah, I remember…the receptionist, right? She was cute, I guess, in a mousy sort of way. Who knows how she got a football stud like Roy? That man was a catch. Anyway, it certainly was a surprise when he proposed like that on the booze cruise. The same day Jim broke up with me, as a matter of fact.
“So…why is this reunion special happening now, anyway? It’s not like it’s been five years or any, like, monument like that.
“Wait, Pam’s wedding? But I thought that was last summer?
“Another postponement, huh? One would almost think that Roy didn’t really want to marry her.
“Jim wants to see me? Hold on. Okay, lipstick refreshed. He can come in now.
“Jim! How are you?” (She goes to hug him, and he’s a good sport about it, but obviously releases her as quickly as is polite.)
“I’m great, Katy. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m okay. So, a reunion for Pam’s wedding. How fun is that?”
“It’s…(looks a little confused)…great. So, Katy, I just wanted to apologize to you for the way I broke up with you—in fact, I was using you pretty much the whole time we were going out, and it wasn’t fair to you. I’m sorry.”
“Aww, aren’t you sweet. I forgive you.”
“I just wanted to…”
“Wait, (it’s just dawned on her) what do you mean, you were using me the whole time?”
“I meant that I was in love with someone else the whole time we were going out, and I was trying to get over her.”
“Oh. Did it work?”
“No. That’s why I broke up with you.”
“Oh. Who was it?”
“Pam. Who else would it be?”
“What do you mean, who else? She’s getting married now…finally, and you just admitted in front of the cameras that you’re in love with her?”
“Yeah…hey, maybe they didn’t explain this to you very well.”
“What do you mean?”
“Pam’s marrying me.”
(Several moments of silence.)
“Well, it was nice to see you again, Katy. Take care!”
(She waves sweetly, then turns to the camera.)
“Can you believe him? He stole Pam from Roy, and he was just completely heartless to me. What a jerk. I never liked him that much anyway.”