==================

"I think you'll like this place, Monkey. I checked on the Internet and saw several items on their menu that you would find acceptable. I also called the restaurant to make sure that their online menu was up-to-date, and --"

"Dwight, this place is Italian, and you know I don't like eggplant. Or tomatoes, for that matter." Angela crossed her arms in front of her chest, glancing up at the sign at the other end of the parking lot. Dwight always insisted on parking in the back so no one would mess with his car. She didn't understand why he was so obsessed with that stupid car. It was too fast, and loud, and just --

"I know," Dwight said, reaching across to pull one of her arms free so he could hold her hand. "I promise there are things that fit your specific criteria. You have nothing to worry about."

Angela sighed. "Fine. But if you're wrong, we're leaving, okay?"

"Okay," Dwight said, smiling at her. "I only want you to be happy."

She smiled back at him, feeling a warmth spread in her stomach. "Thank you, D. I'm really glad--"

"Wait!" Dwight said suddenly, his arm flinging across her chest.

She jumped back in surprise. "I don't know what you think that was, but I--"

"Shhh!" he reprimanded. "Look!" He pointed across the parking lot, where they could barely make out the online of a couple in a deep embrace.

Angela couldn't be sure, but the man was fairly tall, and the girl had untamed, curly hair -- "Oh my -- gracious," Angela said. "I cannot believe it. That hussy."

"You think it's them, too?" Dwight said. He frowned. "I thought he was dating Karen in the office."

"I thought so, too," Angela said, frowning.

"Michael said that Karen and Jim left early yesterday so they could get a hotel room in New York and have sex."

"I'd bet," Angela said, her frown growing deeper.

"Then why would he be --?"

"I'm sure it has something to do with that shameful speech Pam gave at the beach," Angela interrupted. "I've always known she's had a thing for Jim." She shook her head. "First, causing Roy to lose his job, and now, doing this to Karen. What's happening to people's morals? Do they have none?"

Dwight didn't say anything at first. He was trying to figure out the ways he could use this information against Jim. Most of them were too obvious. He couldn't just tell Karen. That would be too easy. Maybe if he let this information slip when Kelly was around. Everyone knew that Kelly Kapoor was loose-lipped. At least, that's what Angela told him. Kelly was certainly loose with her affection for Ryan. Sometimes he wished that Angela would let him express his true feelings the way he really wanted to...

Anyway. The important matter at hand was that he finally had something against Jim Halpert, and --

"Dwight," Angela said, touching his arm. She had turned away from the couple on the other end of the parking lot, unwilling to witness this show of debauchery and obscenity any longer. "As much as I object to this ... discovery, whatever it is ... I really don't think we should say anything."

"What?" Dwight asked, turning towards her. "Why, woman? This is the perfect opportunity to get back at Jim for everything he's done to me over the years!"

"Revenge is the devil's work, Dwight. And as much as Jim may deserve retribution, well ... Pam has kept our secret for us for a long time, and I just think that we should respect that."

Dwight looked back up across the parking lot, where the figure that looked like Pam was hugging the tall guy that appeared to be Jim.

He sighed again. "Yes. I know you're right, Monkey."

"Of course I'm right," Angela said. She glanced over at them. They were getting into a car together. It definitely looked like Jim's overpriced luxury car. After a second she said, "Let's wait until they leave to go in."

"As you wish," Dwight said. He thought for a moment. "Do you think Pam's going to tell Jim about us?"

Angela frowned. "I hope not."

====================

Jim could barely keep himself from bursting out into a grin. He fidgeted nervously in the conference room chair until Mike had set up the camera properly. Mike gave him the thumbs up when he was ready.

"So, yeah," Jim said, looking up at the ceiling. "Pam and I ... had a good time on, our, uh, date ... on Friday. But, we've decided to keep our relationship a secret. Not only because of Karen, who, uh, wasn't exactly happy when I broke up with her in New York, but, uh, well, we both decided that Michael finding out would be a disaster."

The camera panned to Pam, who had turned to look at him. "Yeah," she said, making a face. "Michael isn't exactly tactful about -- well, anything."

=====================

"Soooo, Karen Filippelli. What pleasure do I owe ye today?" Michael Scott leaned back in his chair. "Did you need to ask for more time off so you and Jim could, uh, do it some more?" Michael snorted at his own joke. He glanced up at the camera, which was hovering over him.

"No, actually, I came here to say I'm quitting."

"What? Why? Was it something I said?"

Karen resisted the urge to make a face. "There were a lot of things you said, Michael. But, um, no, that's not why I'm leaving."

"Are we not paying you enough? I mean, because, well, I don't really have money in the budget right now for a raise, but I might be able to get you some fringe benefits -- oh, wait!" Michael said, reaching into his desk drawer. He pulled out a small stack of paper. "I have Chili's coupons! You like Chili's, don't you?" Michael made a quick face. "Of course you do, everyone likes Chili's, I mean--"

"Michael, stop."

He stopped, looking rebuffed. "What?" he asked.

"It's not about money, it's not about you; it's not about the work..."

"Is it Toby?" Michael asked. "Because no one really likes Toby; you just sort of have to get used to him being around, like a disease..."

"No!" Karen interrupted. "It's not Toby. Jim and I broke up over the weekend and I just don't want to be here anymore," she said, in a rush.

"Oh," Michael said, surprised. He was quiet for a moment. "Why?" he asked.

"Things just didn't ... work out."

Michael leaned forward, suddenly interested. "Did you dump him? Because I heard from Kevin that you thought he was kind of scruffy-looking, which, you know, he sort of is, and, I know he really doesn't work to his full potential, but a lot of people here really don't ... I mean, if it wasn't for me, I don't know that much of anything would get done around here, eh?" Michael looked up at the camera again, raising his eyebrows.

Karen rolled her eyes. "Uh, no, but -- well, you know what? I really don't want to talk about this. Um. Just consider this my two week's notice."

"Two weeks, huh?" Michael said. "That's going to be torture for you, having to see Jim everyday, thinking about how he pissed you off, remembering all the horrible things he made you do that you didn't want to do, that now you have to do again... And, you know, you try to tell them that it's just not your thing, but they tell you you're just being closed-minded, and..." Michael frowned.

"I don't think we're talking about me anymore," Karen said, standing up. "But, yeah. Thanks for the support, Michael. Always appreciated."

"That's what I'm here for!" Michael said as she hurried out of the room. He turned to the front of his desk, where the cameraman had re-positioned himself to face Michael. "That is what I'm here for," Michael continued. "I mean, if it wasn't for my moral support, half of these people would be dead by now. From depression. And hopelessness. So... yeah. Michael Scott, full-time Regional Manager, part-time psychologist. Just call me ... Dr. Freud." Michael thought for a moment, looking off into space. "Wait -- was that the guy who thought we all wanted to have sex with our mothers?"

====================

Oscar, Kevin and Kelly were sitting in the break room, eating lunch. Kelly was picking out the cheese from a deli sandwich, complaining about the fact that she'd asked for no cheese, but they'd given it to her anyway, even though she'd specifically said, "'No cheese,' I mean -- how hard is that to get right, you know?"

"Yeah," Oscar said, shooting Kevin a look. Ever since Kelly had found out that Oscar was gay, she wanted to eat lunch with him so they could gossip about stuff. That "stuff" was usually things like, what Britney Spears was up to that week, what celebrity just got arrested for a DUI, or, had he seen Wicked the musical yet, oh my God, it was so good ... (Actually, he had gone to see Wicked a few weeks ago on a date with a new guy, and yeah, it was pretty fantastic. Nonetheless.)

"Hey, Oscar," Kevin said. "Did you see this list I've been working on? I'm almost done with it, I think." Kevin slid a piece of crumpled yellow steno paper across to Oscar.

Oscar looked at it. The heading said: "Karen or Pam: whose hotter?" He immediately wanted to turn to Kevin and remind him that it was 'who's,' and not 'whose,' but didn't think it was worth the time. Kevin wouldn't understand why, anyway. It took him a second for the meaning to sink in.

"Wait," Oscar said. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Kelly asked, putting her sandwich down.

"Oh, I was asking Jim this question the other day, you know, after the whole beach thing," Kevin's voice cracked at the end of the sentence, and he smiled.

"What question?" Kelly asked, reaching across for the piece of paper.

"... And Jim said that I should write down some reasons, so I did." Kevin smiled proudly.

"Ohmigod," Kelly said, bursting into giggles. "'Karen or Pam: whose hotter?'" She looked up at Kevin. "Jim asked you to write this?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, I asked him first," Kevin said.

"Do you totally think he's deciding whether to date Pam now?" Kelly asked. "Ohmigod, it's totally an awesome love triangle." She sighed loudly. "I can't believe that Jim totally has, like, two girls going after him when I'm just single now." She sniffed loudly, grabbing a tissue from a large wad in her pocket.

"Kelly, you're not going to start crying again, are you?" Oscar asked. She had been crying virtually non-stop since Ryan had dumped her earlier that morning.

"It's not ... my fault that ... Ryan is a total ass and ... dumped me," she said between sobbing gulps.

Oscar and Kevin looked at each other again.

"What's going on here?" Andy asked, breezing into the room. "Lunch club?"

"Just lunch," Oscar said, deciding that finishing his lunch quickly was probably going to be the best option at this point.

"Well," Andy said, pulling up a chair. "I just received a really interesting piece of news from Dwight, who heard it from Michael, first-hand."

"What'd you hear?" Kevin asked. Kelly stopped sobbing, sniffing occasionally while they all waited for Andy's news.

"Apparently, Karen just gave her notice." Andy's eyebrows shot in the air.

"Notice for what?" Kevin asked.

"She's quitting!" Andy said. "Apparently, Big Haircut and the Lovely Karen are oooo-ver." Andy waited a moment. "Yep. I totally think she dumped him." Andy looked at his fingernails. "Because, deep-down, she knew she could do better."

"Wow," Kevin said.

Kelly's eyes went wide. She sniffed loudly again.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to brush off the old Andrew Bernard charm and see if I can bring some cheer to the dour Ms. Filippelli."

As Andy left the room, Oscar, Kelly and Kevin all turned to look at each other.

"Hm," Oscar said. "That was ... interesting."

"I guess Jim's not going to need this anymore," Kevin said with a sad face as he picked up his list.

"Wait -- you guys," Kelly said, still sniffling lightly. "Pam's totally going to ask Jim out now, isn't she?"

"Oh -- definitely," Oscar said, as Kevin said,

"Totally. I'd do Pam."

Oscar rolled his eyes, balling up the rest of his lunch and throwing it out.

=================

"So, Karen," Andy said, sitting down on the corner of her desk. "I heard you're jumping ship. Abandoning your fellow Stamfordites. Er, Stamfordite."

"Yep," she replied shortly.

Across the room, Jim's jaw tensed up. He glanced across at Karen and Andy, and then quickly back down at his keyboard. Pam looked at Jim's neck, and then at Karen. She frowned.

Andy lowered his voice. "I heard it had something to do with a certain co-worker of ours."

"Yes, it does," she said, her lips flattening into a straight line.

"So," he said, sitting back, crossing his arms. "You, uh -- finally realized you could do better? Gave him the old dumperino?"

"Actually, he du --" She stopped suddenly. "You know what? It really doesn't matter. So, yeah."

Andy continued as if she hadn't said anything. "I was just thinking, you know -- maybe I could take you out to lunch. As a fellow comrade, a veteran co-worker. You know. That sort of thing."

"Uh, sure," Karen said, grabbing her purse from her desk drawer. "Whatever."

"Excellent," Andy said, winking at the camera as Karen got up.

When they reached the hallway, he pretended that he'd forgotten something, telling her he'd meet her in the parking lot. He waited in the hallway until she was gone and faced the camera. "First rule of women: rebounds are priceless. Women are vulnerable when they've broken up with someone, even if they were the dumpers. They can be easily convinced to do things -- or consider options --" Andy's eyebrow shot up, "-- that they wouldn't normally consider. So, yeah. I think I might finally have a chance with her.

"Plus, if she quits, we wouldn't be working together anymore. Workplace romances are disasters. Look at Kelly and Ryan. Or Michael and Jan." Andy made a face. "I mean, Michael and Jan are still dating, but, you know, she lost her job because of it. And now Karen's quitting because of her office romance." He thought for a moment. "Hm. Maybe I should wait until she leaves before making the moves.

"But on the other hand ... you have to snag them while they're down. Like the gazelles in the Serengeti. The lions can't catch them when they're healthy, but when they're hurt -- well -- easy dinner." Andy shrugged. "I watch Animal Planet a lot."

================

Pam caught up with Jim in the kitchen where he was getting a cup of coffee. She ducked her head into the fridge, pretending like she was looking for something. "So," Pam said.

"So," Jim said, pouring the coffee and sipping loudly.

"It looked like Karen and Andy went out to lunch together." She paused, standing over the open refrigerator door.

"Yeah," Jim said tersely.

"Do you think they're, uh ... talking about you? Or us?" Pam asked, suddenly worried. She ducked her head back into the fridge.

"I don't know," Jim mumbled.

She poked her head back up, unable to understand him. "What?" she asked.

"I don't know," Jim said louder, slightly irritated. He hated the fact that he had to deal with Karen being mad at him, and having to work with her. She'd told him she was going to be giving her notice today, and from the sound of her conversation with Andy (or what he could hear of it, anyway), it seemed that she had already talked to Michael. He supposed that was a good thing. The sooner she left, the better.

He wondered, for what was probably the hundredth time, why he'd even decided to date Karen in the first place. What a bad idea on top of a bad idea. He'd always known his heart wasn't really in it. But, still.

"Well, do you think she suspects it's, you know, because of me?" Pam asked.

Jim gave her a look. "Of course she does," he said. "We talked about this before, and you know, I really don't want to get into it here," he suddenly lowered his voice, realizing he was talking a lot louder than he'd intended, "because you know these walls have ears."

"Yeah," Pam said, sighing, and pulling a container of yogurt out of the fridge. She pointed a plastic spoon at him. "This is to be continued--" she started to say, as the door burst open and Kelly came in, stopping in her tracks upon the sight of the two of them.

"Oh, my God!" she exclaimed, making a face. "Am I totally interrupting, like, a private moment, or something?"

"No," they both said simultaneously.

"You guys totally said that together, I totally am, aren't I?" Kelly asked. "Oh, and by the way, Jim, I'm sorry that Karen dumped you, but, you know, after the whole beach thing, I mean -- we all saw it coming."

"She didn't --" Jim started, as Pam said,

"What do you mean, you all saw it coming?"

"Well, c'mon, Pam," Kelly said. "'I broke up my wedding for you'--? I mean, seriously."

"I didn't say it like that," Pam said.

"Pretty much," Jim said, suddenly amused by Pam's discomfort.

"Hey," Pam said, making a face.

"Anyway, I mean -- I'll let you guys get back to, well, whatever," Kelly said, grinning.

"No need," Pam said, swinging through the door towards the break room. "I was just leaving."

==================

Pam didn't talk to him for the rest of the afternoon, which was probably good, because he really didn't need to raise any more suspicion about what was going on between them. Even so, he had to fight the urge not to walk up to her desk and beg for her forgiveness. He didn't want two women mad at him. He opened up his e-mail to write her a note, and had just started writing her name when he heard a snickering above him.

"'Pam,' huh?" Kevin asked. "Are you writing her a love note?"

Jim sighed, immediately closing the window. "No," he said, looking up at Kevin, who was standing before him, still tittering. "Pam's, uh ... busy, so I didn't want to bother her, but I wanted to know if I had any messages."

"But ... Pam leaves everyone's messages in that bin." Kevin pointed to the upright mail sorter where Pam kept the messages.

"Right," Jim said. "I'm just a little distracted, I guess."

Kevin leaned forward conspiratorially. "Because Karen dumped you?"

"She didn't--" Jim started. "I mean, um. Yeah. Because we broke up. So, yeah, it's kind of been a shitty day, Kev, so I'd appreciate if you --" Jim looked around, "all would give me some space. Okay?" He said it loudly enough so everyone in the surrounding area could hear. Including Pam, who conspicuously cleared her throat.

Meredith leaned across the aisle and opened her desk drawer. She stage-whispered, "I got something that might keep your mind off things, honey." She made a clicking noise with her tongue.

"Ohhhh," Jim said under his breath. "No thanks," he said loudly, burying his head in his hands. This was definitely not turning out to be his day.

==================

"Pssst, Jim."

Jim looked up to see Dwight leaning forward, winking rapidly at him. "Do you -- have something in your eye, Dwight?"

"Zip it! I mean -- no! I mean -- listen," he said, starting to whisper. "Michael told me about what happened with Karen."

"Yeah, you and half the world's population," Jim muttered.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I have some other information, that, you know -- well, I mean -- anyway, I know Karen broke up with you, but, you know, given this other information," he winked badly again, "I think it's probably for the best that you two aren't dating anymore."

Jim didn't even look up. "I don't even know what you're talking about. And besides, she didn't dump me," he sighed loudly. "I broke up with her." He wasn't sure why he told Dwight the truth. Maybe he was just tired of hearing people say that she'd dumped him.

"Huh," Dwight said. "Interesting. And when did this happen?"

"Friday afternoon," Jim said. "What's it matter to you?"

"Oh -- nothing, nothing," Dwight said, glancing over in Angela's direction. Jim wondered what that was supposed to mean. Dwight continued, "I just wanted to let you know, you went up a slight notch just now in my book."

"Why?" Jim asked, feeling overly tired all of a sudden.

"Just... you know," Dwight said, "it's hard breaking up with a woman, I guess, and -- so... uh..." Dwight trailed off.

Jim shot a look at him. "Somehow, I doubt you've ever had to break up with a woman in your life."

================

"Actually, that's not true," Dwight explained to the camera later that afternoon. "I once dated a girl named Gilna that I'd met at the county fair. Unfortunately, I had to break up with her when I found out that we were cousins. Second cousins, actually, which means our children probably would have come out okay, but even so. No need to mess with the already perfect Schrute genes. I don't want to make the same mistake my Uncle Wilhelm did. My cousin Gerhard had three eyes. One didn't work, of course, but it really freaked people out. Especially because it blinked."

Dwight shrugged.

================

A week had passed, and Jim was convinced that absolutely nothing could go worse for him. Creed had asked him if "the lesbian chick" was available now, because he was kind of into lesbians. Lesbian chick? Jim thought.

Ryan had stopped in the office mid-week, and because Michael wouldn't talk to him, Jim had to meet with him to go over all the current numbers and make sure that he was up-to-date on where they were at. Ryan spent the entire time pretending like he didn't have an attitude about how he'd gone from Junior Sales Associate to Corporate Manager, while at the same time, vehemently avoiding Kelly's death glares. Kelly, of course, spent the entire time Ryan was there pacing the doorway of the conference room until Ryan made Jim close the door and shut the blinds. Kelly had spent the rest of the week in tears, so Michael put Andy on Customer Service duty until Kelly could get her act together again.

Andy, meanwhile, was still on Karen's trail. They'd gone out to lunch together every other day. Jim was starting to wonder if Andy was actually making headway. Andy was probably telling Karen exactly what she wanted to hear -- which was ... great. Of course, if he knew Karen, she probably was just using him as a soundboard for how much she hated Jim right now.

None of that could top what happened that morning. Kevin stood up in front of the office by the copy machine, a determined look on his face. He said: "I just wanted to make an announcement." Everyone turned to look at him. He looked at Jim. "I've been thinking about this whole thing with Jim and Karen, and I think I have a good solution. I think Karen and Pam should fight it out. Like, in Jell-O, or something. It would be so hot," he said.

"I put twenty on the lesbian," Creed said.

Jim was surprised when Dwight stood up to defend him. In his own way, of course. "Everyone -- we don't have time for this dilly-dallying. I don't have time to police this office twenty-four seven. We're trying to sell paper! Let's get back to work!"

Michael had wandered out of his office just then, getting off of a forty-minute phone marathon with Jan. (His third that day, and it was only eleven-thirty.) "What's going on?" he asked wearily.

"I said Karen and Pam should fight it out -- for Jim," Kevin said, smiling slyly.

Michael rolled his eyes. "What's the point? Karen already dumped him; he's yesterday's trash. No one cares anymore."

"Um, yeah, I'm sitting right here, Michael," Jim said.

"Right. And sometimes you just have to know when to let it go ... let the boat set sail... let the lady go free."

Jim wasn't able to help himself. He glanced back at Pam, who shot him a wide-eyed look. "Um, right," Jim said. "See, that's what I've been trying to tell everyone. I mean, I think we both want to just move on."

"I'm sitting right here, too, Halpert, and I think I can speak for myself," Karen said, standing up. "The fact of the matter is, yes, I'm quitting because Jim Halpert is an uninspired, un-ambitious jackass who can't commit to a relationship because he's tied up on a certain receptionist who also works here. I'm quitting because there's always been one too many people in this office, and unlike what I originally thought -- or hoped -- I guess it's me. So, yeah. I don't want Jim. I'm done. I'm done trying, I'm done working my ass off for a relationship that was probably never meant to be." She threw her hands up in the air. "He's all yours, Pam. Enjoy!"

With that, she stormed towards the direction of the kitchen, the blinds slamming against the glass as she went through.

No one said anything for several seconds. Jim wanted to bury himself underneath his desk and not emerge until the day -- no -- the next week was over. There was no way he could deal with another week of this. Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone, already?

Finally, Michael said, "Everyone -- conference room in fifteen minutes. Oh -- and Phyllis, tell Karen that she needs to attend as well." With that, Michael went back into his office and shut the door.

===================

When Jim finally made it into the conference room, Pam and Karen were already in there, on opposite sides of the room. Pam had her arms crossed, and was staring over at Karen. Karen was also staring back at her, with her hands neatly clasped over her lap. Jim decided to play it safe, and sit in the back of the room, far away from both of them. It wasn't until he was sitting down that he noticed that Karen's knuckles were white from gripping her hands so tightly. He glanced at Pam and saw her jaw clenched. Pam's eyes flit in his direction, narrowed slightly, and then looked up at the front of the room.

Jim looked up front as well, his jaw dropping when he saw what Michael had written on the white board: When Office Romances Go Wrong.

Oh, God, Jim thought. He could always count on Michael to rub the salt into the wound. Jim slumped down into his chair, hoping that if he sat low enough, no one would even know he was there.

"All right!" Michael said, coming into the conference room, marker in hand. "Given the events of the past week, I just figured now would be a good time to go over this topic. After all, we have two recently failed office romances, and who knows how many more might try and fail in the future? This place is a hotbed of desire!"

Stanley cleared his throat and raised his hand.

"Yes, Stanley?"

"Can I just skip this meeting, Michael? Considering that I do not have, nor, will ever be involved in an office romance, I don't think this applies to me."

"Are we sure that's true, Stanley?" Michael said. "I know Terri's not your first wife, so..."

"And how would you know that?" Stanley said, his eyebrows nearly poking his hairline.

"Well, given that, you know, your daughter, uh..." Michael trailed off.

Dwight piped in: "The pigmentation of a mixed couple is usually a lighter version of the darker pigmented parent, though the degree of darkness varies from person to person. This proves that your wife Terri is not your daughter's mother, given that your girl is obviously darker -- ouch!" Dwight said, suddenly, as he was poked in the side.

A small voice hissed, "Dwight! What is wrong with you?"

"Exactly," Stanley said, frowning deeply, and standing up. "I don't know what's wrong with all of you, but I will say this is none of your business, and I will have nothing to do with this." He quickly left the room, despite Michael's strong protests.

Phyllis stood up next. "Not everyone here is in an office romance, Michael. I'm married to Bob Vance."

"Yes, but you had a one-night stand once with someone in the office, didn't you?" Michael said.

Kevin tittered. Phyllis glared at him, then turned back to Michael. "I ... I -- that was a long time ago, Michael, and I'm happily married now."

"Well, Bob Vance works in the building, so that still counts."

"What about me, Michael?" Oscar asked, standing up. "I've never dated a co-worker. How is this relevant?"

"Look," Michael said, sighing loudly. "Here -- does this make you all happy?" He crossed out the word "Office."

"'When romances go wrong?'" Angela read aloud. "What do you know about romance? You're not a professional."

"No -- but I've been in love. Several times. And, I've seen it gone horribly wrong. And -- both in the workplace, and at home, when romances fail, everything fails. Especially your heart. And when your heart's broken, you're not doing anything until it gets fixed."

"Wait," Karen said, interrupting him. "Are you saying that I'm not getting any work done because of this whole -- mess? Because I just made two new sales this morning, and frankly..."

"No, no -- I mean, well, some of you are unable to work, anyway..." Michael looked over at Kelly, who was sitting in the corner, clutching a tissue. She immediately burst into sobs. He rolled his eyes, continuing, "It's just a good thing we have people that can cover for them."

"Thank you very much, Michael," Andy said, bowing his head.

"I wasn't just referring to you, but, uh -- okay, yeah. Good job." Michael stopped, obviously confused about where he was going. "Oh -- yeah, so anyway, we need to discuss the issue of what happens when romances go bad, and how you can move on."

Jim glanced over in Pam's direction, but she wasn't looking at him. She wasn't looking at Karen, either. Her eyes were glued to the floor, and he swore that she was almost in tears.

==================

As soon as the meeting was over, Jim watched Karen head back towards the kitchen, or break room -- he wasn't sure -- and Pam headed out the front door of the office. After a moment of deliberation (and after making sure no one was watching him), he followed Pam out of the office.

She was already gone by the time he got out to the front hallway. He wondered where she might be. Had she gone downstairs? The parking lot? The roof? He thought his best bet was to head downstairs and see if she was in the parking lot. He decided against the elevator, though, and opened up the door to the emergency stairwell. As soon as he did, he heard a loud sniffling echoing through the hall.

"Pam?" he called out quietly, coming down the stairs.

"What?" she asked between sniffles.

He found her at the landing between the two floors, her head in-between her knees. "Pam," he said again, immediately sitting down next to her. He slid his arm around her shoulders. "I'm ... so sorry about the meeting."

Pam sniffed loudly again. "It's not just the meeting -- it's everything. Everyone's comments, Karen being mad at me, things being weird between you and I... I don't know."

Jim leaned in even closer, brushing the hair from her face. "You think things are weird between us?" he asked.

"You don't?" Pam asked, looking at him. "I mean, we've barely talked since that -- Friday, and I don't know -- I mean, did we miss our chance?"

"Are you serious?" Jim asked, rubbing her shoulder. "Do you really think we've missed our chance? After everything we've been through?"

"I don't know," Pam said, frowning deeply. "It's just that -- you know, with everything going on -- I don't know..."

"Pam. Do you remember that one time when I told you that I'd had a crush on you when you first started?"

Pam smiled. "Yes," she said. "And Michael told me that it wasn't just when I first started; that it was on the Booze Cruise."

"He told you I had feelings for you on the Booze Cruise?" Jim asked, surprised.

"Well, in not so many words, yes," Pam said, smiling still. "And I guess I kind of put two-and-two together after the, um, Casino Night thing."

"Yeah," Jim said quietly.

"Look, Jim -- I want you to know, I shouldn't have told you I was marrying Roy that night. I ... I was scared, and -- maybe I wasn't quite ready to face all that just yet."

"Yeah," Jim said again.

"And, I don't know -- maybe we needed time to both try and figure out what we really wanted. To see that this was what we wanted." Pam looked into his eyes. His pupils grew large and dark.

"Really?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Yeah," she said, smiling. She started to lean in towards him, her lips parting slightly, when they both heard the upstairs door open, and a pair of voices echo through the stairwell. Jim and Pam immediately broke apart, and he stood up, pulling her up as well. She crossed her arms protectively across her chest.

Jim's mouth dropped slightly as he realized who it was: Dwight and Angela. Angela noticed them first, immediately becoming rigid upon the sight of the two of them. She stopped halfway down the stairs.

Dwight stopped two steps above the landing. "Jim! How did you know about this place?" he demanded. "This is a ... secret place."

"This is the emergency stairway, Dwight. Everyone knows this exists," Pam said.

"Wait -- are you guys saying you come here to make out?" Jim asked Dwight, suddenly feeling nauseous. "Ugh."

"Make out?" Dwight asked. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jim gave him a look. "Seriously, Dwight. I know you and Angela are dating."

"How do you know about us?" Dwight asked.

"Obviously, Pam must have told him," Angela said with a disapproving look.

"No, I didn't," Pam said, slightly stronger than she intended. She glanced over at Jim curiously. "How did you find out about them, anyway?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "I was in the office one day and saw them ... kissing." He made a face.

"We don't have public displays of affection in the office," Angela said, frowning.

"It was ... late. There was no one else in the office, and you probably thought you were the only ones there."

"Oh," Angela said, as she looked at Dwight. "I still don't think..." She trailed off. "Oh," she said suddenly.

"Yeah," Dwight said softly. "There was that one time..." He looked at her affectionately.

Jim had never seen Dwight look at anyone like that before. Or Angela, for that matter, who was smiling back at Dwight. It was... creepy.

Pam cleared her throat. "Anyway," she said. "Jim and I were trying to have a private conversation. About ... being friends."

"Yes," Jim said. "About ... our friendship. Which, we've always had."

"Yes," Pam said, staring up at the ceiling.

Angela sighed impatiently. "We know you're together. We saw you both at Cugino's just over a week ago."

"We were just talking there..." Jim protested.

"With your tongues?" Angela asked disapprovingly.

Dwight nodded. "We saw you in the parking lot."

This time, Jim and Pam looked at each other. "Oh," Jim said.

"Yeah, so, I guess -- we sort of have to call a truce, huh?" Pam asked.

"What are the terms?" Dwight asked.

"That you don't say anything about us and we don't say anything about you," Jim said.

After a moment's pause, and a gentle nudge from Angela, Dwight nodded slowly. "Fine," Dwight said. "But Angela and I want the stairway back. You know, so we can ... talk freely, between us."

"No problem there," Jim said, holding his hands up. "I'm sure Pam and I can find somewhere else to ... talk." He glanced over at Pam and winked. She shook her head at him.

"Good," Pam said then. "I think you both need to shake on it. You know, to seal the deal."

"Right," Dwight said, holding his hand out. Jim took it tentatively, as if expecting something bad would happen. They shook briefly, and so did Pam and Angela.

"Okay, so -- do you think you could at least give us a few minutes to finish our conversation? We were, after all, just talking. For real," Jim said.

Dwight looked at Angela. "Jim, I only allot myself two five-minute breaks outside of my lunch break. I have already wasted three of those minutes talking to you." He gave Jim a significant look.

Jim looked at Pam. "I think I'm going to throw up."

"C'mon," Pam said, touching his arm. "Let's get back to work. We can finish this conversation tonight. Over dinner." Jim smiled gratefully at her as they headed back upstairs. As they headed back up, Jim could vaguely hear snippets of conversation.

"Now, Monkey -- would you rather be Princess Leia today, or Starbuck?"

"I've told you before, Dwight; I think both of those women have loose morals -- you saw that horrible bikini Princess Leia wore! And Starbuck..."

Jim rolled his eyes as they reached for the top of the stairs. Just before they stepped back into the lobby, he squeezed her hand, and let go. Her lips turned up slightly as she lingered in the doorway.

"Go ahead," she said. "I'll come in a few minutes later. It would look weird if we walked in together."

"Right. I don't think we need to sit through another one of Michael's meetings again."

"I don't think so, either."

================

Jim wasn't sure if people in the office finally laid off him on the whole Karen/Pam love-triangle thing, or if he just didn't really care anymore, but after seeing Pam that night, everything got a lot better. Karen left for New York that Friday, and Kevin finally shut up about Pam another week after that (thank God for Fantasy Football starting up again).

In fact, he didn't hear anything about any romances for a while after that, until Dwight approached him on what was probably one of the dreariest days in November.

"Jim, can I talk to you for a moment? Privately?" Dwight nodded towards the door.

"Okay," Jim said, standing up. "But I want to let you know that I'm not into ... you know, men, so, if you're trying to --"

"No!" Dwight said, yanking on his arm. Pam gave him a curious look at they passed her desk. Jim shrugged, making a face at her.

When they reached the hallway in front of the elevator, Jim stopped. "I think this is probably okay, Dwight. What did you want?"

Dwight paused for a moment, pursing his lips. "I have an important personal matter. Involving a lady I've been seeing..."

"Kevin?" Jim asked, smiling.

"Very funny," Dwight said.

"Wait -- is it Kelly?"

"C'mon, Jim, I'm serious," Dwight said. "I should have known you wouldn't take it seriously." He frowned, turning to go back to the office.

"No -- Dwight," Jim sighed, suddenly feeling bad. "I'm sorry. It's about Angela, right?"

"Yes," he said, turning back around. "I'm thinking about ... taking the next step in our relationship, and I didn't know who to talk to. Mose has ... never been with a woman, and Michael just wants to complain about Jan all the time."

"That's definitely true," Jim said. "So -- wait, what do you mean, you want to take the 'next step'?"

"I want to propose to Angela," Dwight whispered, leaning in.

His breath smelled weird. Like black licorice ... or something. Jim took a step back. "When are you going to do this?" he asked.

"Soon," Dwight said. "I don't know. I'm just not sure how I'm going to do it. I've never done this before."

"Well, I haven't, either," Jim said.

"No, but you're dating a girl that used to be engaged..."

Jim suddenly felt like he was punched in the gut. He frowned. "Then maybe you should be asking Pam this, not me." He crossed his arms.

"I couldn't ask her, she --" Dwight stopped, suddenly realizing that he'd offended Jim. "I mean..."

Jim turned, realizing he was being ridiculous. "Look, man. What -- what do you want to know?"

"I want to know what to do! I don't know -- this isn't like planting beets, or milking cows, or fighting Cylons, Jim. This is serious. I have to get this right."

"Fighting Cylons?" Jim repeated. He sighed. "You do realize that you're going to have to reveal your relationship to HR? Angela's not going to be able to hide an engagement ring. You are giving her a ring, aren't you?"

"Well, traditionally, the Schrutes would have the fiancée pick out the largest cow, and it would be slaughtered in celebratory feast. But, considering that Angela's a vegetarian -- yes, I'll probably have to get her a ring instead." Dwight shrugged.

"Right… so, maybe you should just … say something now. You’ve been together for how long?"

"Just over two years."

"Two years?" Jim made a face, as memories of the last few years went through his head. How had he missed it for this long? "Wow. I can't believe -- I mean -- yeah, that's great. So, uh – don't you think it’s about time you stopped trying to keep your relationship secret?"

"I’d have to ask Angela if she thought it was okay, but, um. Yeah, I mean, we are getting engaged, after all."

"Yeah," Jim said, making a face.

"No - you know what? You're right. It’s been going on long enough. I think everyone needs to know. Right now." Dwight turned on his heel and quickly headed back into the office.

Jim stood in the hallway for a moment, stunned, then ran after him. He stopped when he got up to Pam's desk and motioned for her to hang up the phone. "Trust me," he whispered to her, "you're going to want to see this."

Dwight was standing in front of the copy machine. "Can I have your attention, everyone? I have an announcement to make. Angela and I are dating."

Everyone in the office immediately started talking. It was a mixture of surprise and amusement. Kevin said, "I knew there was something weird going on between you guys."

"Dwight! What are you doing?" Angela hissed, standing up next to him, her hands on her hips.

"Just … trust me," Dwight said, winking at her.

Jim couldn't help but think it looked like Dwight had some kind of an awful nervous twitch every time he did that.

"And," Dwight continued, "we've been dating for over two years, so I think it's about time I did this." He bent down on one knee. "Angela Noelle Martin, I would like your hand in matrimony."

"Holy matrimony," Angela corrected, only able to keep her frown for a half-second before a smile broke out on her face.

"Yes," Dwight said. "I don't have a ring yet, but I didn't want to wait any longer. I want you to be my wife."

Angela's lower lip started to quiver. "Yes," she said, as he swept her into his arms and kissed her deeply.

Michael came out of his office, then, having missed the entire speech. He looked across the room where Dwight and Angela were embracing. "Yuck! How long has this been going on?" he asked. "Ugh. This is why office romances are ... not a good idea. Gross." With that, he turned and went back into his office, closing the door.

Jim glanced over at Pam, smirking at her. He popped a jellybean into his mouth. "So much for that secret, I guess," he said to her.

"Yep. Well, secrets can only last so long, I guess."

"I guess so, Beesly. I guess so." Winking at her, he turned around and went back to his desk.

==================