“It’s no one’s business if Jim and Pam are dating,” Angela said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Lord knows they’re probably sinning and lusting…and, that’s just not something I want to discuss in public,” she said, her eyebrow arcing high above her eye.
---
Sitting in a chair in the conference room, Phyllis sat quietly and spoke. “It’s just so sweet. I never really liked Karen that much…so, it was a pleasant surprise to see Jim and Pam together…finally.” She leaned in and whispered, “If I was twenty years younger, I would have gone after Jim myself. I sometimes like to think that I’m his type.”
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Looking stern and unmoved, Dwight leaned forward. “Love is a complicated thing. Just look at Romeo and Juliet. They killed for love. That’s why I have completely shut down the emotional part of my brain. I don’t want to take my own life for something as stupid as love. It’s ridiculous and absurd. I virtually cannot feel love. Never have been able to. Never will. Also, look at Jack and Rose from Titanic, Princess Diana and Dodi and the characters from the Notebook,” he shrugged. “Love always leads to death. Not a smart thing to get involved with. Get ready to sign your death certificates, people,” Dwight said, looking into the camera with intense conviction.
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“Oh, I totally know that they’re dating! I’ve been rooting for them from the beginning. From their first meeting I knew. Even a blind person could tell that they were in love,” Kelly said, smiling. “Pam’s lucky. She’s had some bad luck in the past with love but now…I’m totally jealous,” she said, stopping to think. “I bet Jim’s great in bed too,” she finished, nodding.
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Standing at the refrigerator, Toby stopped and backed away slowly. “I really have nothing to say. I just fill out the paperwork. That’s all…” he said, pushing past the kitchen door.
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Stifling a giggle, Kevin looked into the camera. “Oh yeah, they’re doin’ it.”
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“I never really got why they had the hots for one another. But, after a few shots, anything goes these days,” Meredith said, looking apathetic and shrugging. “I could have any guy I want if I had a bottle of Jack in my hand.”
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“Tuna is the hot item these days,” Andy said, adjusting his tie. “All the ladies want a piece of that. I can see why. I mean, he’s got a nice build, he’s tall, thin frame, great complexion, lush hair, witty charm…the perfect combination for today’s modern man. I pride myself in being that as well.”
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“That’s why you called me in here?” Stanley said, looking at the camera man. “Puh-lease,” he said, standing and walking out of the room.
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"I’ve been bitten by the love bug a time or two. Each time was beautiful and meaningful in its own way. I spent a couple hundred dollars each time as well, which wasn’t so beautiful,” Creed said, showing no emotion on his face. “Good thing I kept all those counterfeit bills under my porch back then.”
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“If Michael has anything to do with it, they’re personal relationship will be the topic of discussion at the next meeting and….the company conference…and company picnic, and on the front of the newsletter,” said Oscar, sighing. “Good luck.”
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“Jim and I are best buds,” Michael began, sitting at his desk with his hands clasped in front of him. “We’re like two of the Three Amigos. I’m Chevy Chase and he’s Martin Short. No, wait….he’s more like Steve Martin. Either way, I’m Chevy,” he said, thinking out loud. “So, in the same way…of brotherhood….Jim tells me everything and anything. Believe me. I know all about him and Pam….not really the specifics of it all…but, I know that they’re a couple. Well, I read it on the form that Toby gave me…but, I would’ve liked to think that Jim would have told me personally if Toby hadn’t beat him to it. Stupid Toby,” he whispered to himself. “But, I’m the third wheel in their relationship and I know all about it. Why? What have they said?”
