KEVIN
Are you guys sure this is the right place? This is a middle school.

Cut to TALKING HEAD — STANLEY off to side of SCHOOL ENTRANCE

STANLEY
Yes, I knew this concert was going to be at a middle school. My daughter Melissa went to school here. I brought her with me tonight because my wife is at her book club. I heard Melissa talking on the phone with some boy the other day about their plans for Friday night. Do you think I am going to let her stay home by herself so her and her friends can have some boys over and do God knows what? Uh-uh. I don't think so.

Cut to TALKING HEAD — KELLY off to side of SCHOOL ENTRANCE

KELLY
I did not know the address Andy told us was a middle school. I thought it was going to be at like a club or a bar or something. This is so embarrassing. (beat) I am so embarrassed. I know he was so into me, but now he is going to think I'm such a loser.

Cut to TALKING HEAD — KELLY'S DATE off to side of SCHOOL ENTRANCE

KELLY'S DATE (looking very nervous/unsure how to act in front of camera)
Uh, Kelly called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to a concert tonight. I was going to make up an excuse, but she was talking so fast that I literally could not get one single word in. (beat) So here I am.

Cut to SCHOOL PARKING LOT
JIM and PAM get out of JIM'S car and walk along the sidewalk to the front entrance of the school. First, they are holding hands, then JIM puts his arm around PAM'S shoulder and lovingly squeezes her closer to him. Nobody else is standing outside. As they near the steps, a top-down convertible drives by and beeps. They turn to look and realize MICHAEL is driving. HE is wearing gold-rimmed aviator sunglasses and is resting his left arm along the door frame and his right hand on the wheel in an obvious attempt to look cool. PAM and JIM turn to look and each other, mouths agape.

Cut to TALKING HEAD — JIM and PAM off to side of SCHOOL ENTRANCE

JIM (trying to play it straight)
PAM (clearly amused)
(simultaneously) Wow.

Cut to SCHOOL PARKING LOT
THREE YOUNG TEENAGERS are walking in the opposite direction from the school past MICHAEL as HE is parking his new car.

YOUNG TEENAGER #1 (loudly, to his friends)
Ha. What a tool.

MICHAEL looks puzzled.

Cut to TALKING HEAD — MICHAEL standing next to his car in PARKING LOT

MICHAEL
Those kids are so clueless. I've got some news for them. According to last month's issue of FHM, aviators, or aves as they're commonly known, are the new cool trend in eye fashion. And my new car ... I think that speaks for itself. (two beats) Actually, it doesn't. Well, not literally. But if it did, I think you know what it would say. (lowers voice) Zoom zoom. Mazda. (smiles goofily)

Cut to SCHOOL GYMNASIUM
Here Comes Treble is wrapping up a performance of "Crazy Train" by Ozzie Osbourne on stage at one end of the gymnasium, which is partitioned off by pull-out, folding wall. Each member is wearing khaki pants, topsiders and a t-shirt with the well-known tagline "Ithaca is Gorges" on the front. A group of about 50 people, composed mostly of random, neighborhood adults, is sitting in folding chairs and watching. A table with coffee, water, punch and assorted snacks has been set up in the back. All Dunder Mifflin office employees except CREED, TOBY and DWIGHT are there.

ANDY (on stage)
All right, everybody, we're gonna take a break for a few minutes. (crowd begins to stand up) But we'll be right back with some more sweet tuneage in a few. (jumps off stage and walks over to ANGELA, who is standing alone) Hey, Angela. Whaddya think?

Camera zooms past ANGELA to doorway, where DWIGHT has just entered and is looking around. HE spots ANGELA and ANDY talking and walks toward them.

ANGELA
It was—

DWIGHT (overeager)
Hey, guys. What's up? Andy, love the concert, man. You guys rock.

ANGELA (annoyed)
Hello, Dwight.

DWIGHT
Hello, Angela.

ANDY
So, anyway, Angel—

DWIGHT (even more overeager)
Hey, Andy, guess what, man? Me and a couple of my friends are going out, getting drunk tonight. You are totally coming, man. It's gonna be awesome.

Cut to TALKING HEAD — DWIGHT in HALLWAY

DWIGHT
You're right. I was doing what some people refer to as c***-blocking. Why? Do you think a wild animal would sit around and let some other stupid wild animal who sings stupid songs and wears shirts that aren't even spelled right move in on his woman? Hell no. He would pounce on him and tear him to shreds. But because I unfortunately don't have that option, I must resort to secondary methods. It's called being resourceful.

Cut back to GYMNASIUM
ANDY is standing at the table drinking punch. JIM and PAM are standing nearby, talking. Camera quickly pans to MEREDITH in the corner, who is pouring liquor from a flask into her plastic punch cup. Camera pans back to ANDY. MELISSA walks up to ANDY.

MELISSA (obviously trying to sound more mature)
So are you like the head of the group, or what?

ANDY (flattered)
I am indeed. And may I just say, (sings in falsetto voice) darling, you look wonderful tonight.

MELISSA smiles flirtatiously and touches ANDY'S arm. DWIGHT appears seemingly out of nowhere and walks up to ANDY.

DWIGHT (whispering in ANDY'S ear)
She is hot. You should definitely go for it. (gives creepy DWIGHT smile and walks away)

Camera pans to JIM, who glances at camera with his traditional lopsided, closed-mouth look. HE walks over to ANDY and MELISSA.

JIM
Hey, Melissa. Can I talk to Andy for a minute?

MELISSA (giving JIM dirty look)
Whatever. (to ANDY) I'll be over there. (points to chair in the audience)

ANDY
Dude, it's not going so well with Angela, but (points with thumb in MELISSA'S general direction) that chick is hot. Prit-tee sure I can hook up with her.

JIM
Yeah, that's Stanley's daughter.

ANDY
So? Stanley's cool, right? He won't care.

JIM
She's in high school ... so yeah, he probably will. (beat) Don't think you want to go through that again. (looks at camera)

Camera pans to STANLEY, who is watching ANDY and JIM with an upset look on his face. ANDY gives STANLEY a half-nod and smile. STANLEY looks even more upset.

Cut to COMMERCIAL BREAK