She gives him the same still-sleepy smile that she does every day and says good morning back to him. Jim looks down at the stroller and tries not to think of anything real as he says, "Good morning, Jack. Big meeting today?"
Pam laughs, a clear laugh that he hasn't heard in awhile. She picks up her son, who is staring at Jim, drool coating his chin.
"His daycare is closed today because of a nice outbreak of pinkeye, so I had to bring him in. Don't worry, I took him to the doctor yesterday and he doesn't have it," Pam says. "It's mostly concentrated in the toddler and preschool rooms. The babies were pretty safe from it."
"Nice. United you stand, huh, Jack?" says Jim, reaching out to give him a high five. Jack's face breaks into a dimpled grin and he looks so much like Roy that Jim's insides twist.
The baby reaches out to slap him five and then buries his head in Pam's neck, as if contact with a stranger (because Jim is definitely a stranger) is too much to bear. She laughs and pats his back, swaying slightly, as though she might not even realize she's doing it, and he doesn't know how much more he can watch.
He's already turned toward his desk when Roy comes in, which seals the deal for Jim. He sets his briefcase down and flips on his computer as Roy reaches out for his son, who launches himself at Roy as if it's the most natural thing in the world, which, Jim reminds himself, it is.
"I'll take him for the morning, babe, I know you're busy and we don't have to load the next shipment until this afternoon," Roy says. Jim's not looking, but Roy says something in a silly voice, and Jack belly laughs and Jim really almost can't stand it that Roy is a fantastic father. It would be so much easier to resent him if he was a jerk, and Jim has already gone through incredible cycles of guilt for resenting the baby for split seconds. It's not his fault he exists, Jim has told himself many times in the year since the baby's birth, but the thought still stings.
He rubs his temples and pulls out his phone. He wonders what Sara is up to tonight. He pulls his phone from his pocket and scrolls past Bethann, Diana, Erica, Heather, Jenn, Kerry, Maureen, past Pam to find Sara. He types his message, hits 'send' and sighs, trying to forget everything.
