"C’mon, Jake, your mom’s gonna kill me if I don’t get you ready for bed on time,"

"But she’s not home!" Jim’s five year old son whines. "Mom always tucks me in, not you," he continues putting an emphasis on the fact that Jim's not as good as Pam is when it comes to putting Jake to bed.

"Ouch, kid. You know, Brewster never complains when I tuck him in," Jim says as he sits on the edge of the bathtub watching his son reach for his toothbrush.

Jake takes a moment to stare at his father, and looks at him in a way that makes Jim wonder if Pam had an affair with Dwight.

"Brewster’s a dog, dad," Jake replies as if it’s Jim who is the child. Putting his toothbrush in his mouth, Jake begins to scrub away at his baby teeth vigorously.

"True, and you don’t lick my face when I tuck you into bed," Jim pauses, feigning worry, "You aren’t going to lick my face, are you?"

"Ewerr," Jake spits into the sink.

"Yeah, ‘ewerr,’" Jim stands up and waits for Jake to finish. When he’s done, reaches down and picks him up. "Alright, kiddo, off to bed."

Just then, Jim hears the front door open. Jim and Jake exchange terrified looks before Jim carefully tiptoes down the hallway towards Jake’s room. For a minute, it looks like he’ll make it. He’s just reaching for the knob —

"Jim!" Pam whispers excitedly, " you’ll never guess what happened – why is Jake still up?"

Jim turns around with Jake still in his arms. Jake giggles while Jim mutters a "Busted" under his breath. Pam stands in the hall, one of her painting clearly visible in her left hand. Jim immediately spies that there is a blue ribbon attached to it. Smiling widely, he takes a step toward his wife, all the while wondering how he can maneuver holding his sun and embrace Pam at the same time.

"You came in first place!" Jim exclaims proudly. For a moment, it looks as if Pam has already forgotten that Jake is still wide awake.

"Yeah! I wasn’t expecting it at all!" she leans in and gives Jim a kiss, and then drops a kiss on Jake’s head. "But why is Jake still up?"

"Dad and I were playing Super Mar – "

"Okay! Let’s get you into bed!" Jim turns around and whisks Jake to his bedroom, not daring to look back and Pam’s death glare.

Jim doesn’t come out of the room for a few minutes, and when he emerges, Pam is still standing in the same spot, arms folded across her chest, and a large smirk plastered across her face.

"Nice, save," Pam says as Jim walks to her. Jim holds up his hands in defense.

"To be honest, we only stayed up ten minutes past his bedtime playing video games. The rest of the fifty minutes were spent trying to get that kid ready for bed. He kept saying he wanted you to come home so you could tell him one of your bedtime stories."

Jim bends down and wraps his long arms around his wife. Tucking her head into his neck, she breathes him into her skin. He loves holding her, he hasn’t gotten to do it in a while.

"I missed you, though," he mumbles after a few minutes.

"Me, too," she whispers as she pulls back. The two stare at each other for a split second and Jim wonders if Pam is hoping that he’ll kiss her in a way that’s not so family friendly. . .

Tilting his head back, Jim sighs. Pam bites her bottom lip to keep from giggling. Shaking his head, Jim moves past her.

"Wow, he’s more needy than you, and I didn’t think that was possible," Pam says as she swats him on the butt and disappears into Jake’s room.

Jim laughs and still shaking his head, he moves to go check on his daughter.

***

"So, what will it be tonight?" Pam asks as she kneels beside his bed and props her arms up on his mattress. Only his bedside lamp is on, and the light casts a warm glow around the room making everything look softer.

"Can you tell me a new story?" Jake pleads. "I’m tired of hearing the same ones over and over."

"The only ones I have left are about princes and princesses," Pam smiles at the look on his face.

"Ewww!" her son plops his head back dramatically on his pillow.

"What? Your sister likes them!" Pam defends and rests her cheek on her palm.

"That’s because she’s a girl!"

"Oh, come on, I have a really good one," her smile grows wider as she scoots closer to him. "And I promise, there’s no kissing."

Jake eyes her suspiciously for a considerable amount of time. At that moment, she is aware of how much he looks like his father, and that makes her extremely proud. Bitting his bottom lip, he pulls his blanket up to his chest.

"Okay, but just as long as there’s no kissing!" he points his little finger at her and she can’t help but awe at how cute he has become.

Pam claps her hands excitedly and beams down at him. Finding a more comfortable position, she folds her arms across his blankets and rests her chin on her hands so that she’s eye level with Jake.

"So, this one is called The Prince and the Hag."

"What’s a hag?"

"A really ugly old woman."

"Dad says it’s not nice to call people ugly."

"Well, he’s right. . .but this woman is ugly."

Now, as Pam starts to tell the tale, Jake doesn’t tell her that when he hears her stories, he always imagines his parents as the main characters. . .

And so the story begins.

***

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far way, there once lived a great king who was very ill. He wanted his only son to marry before he would inherit the throne, so the king set out to find the most beautiful, well mannered, and wealthiest princess in all the land to marry his son, Prince James of Halperts.

But alas! Before he could even leave his kingdom, he was visited by an old hag who worked as a seamstress and who had once aided him when he was a youth. For the king had not always been of royal blood. When he was but a young man, we was poorer than a beggar, and dirtier than a flea.

One day, the dreadful peasant wished for warm lodging one rainy night. As he sat in his miserable misfortune, he noticed an old woman warming herself by the fire in her house. Now, the man being quite cold and comfortless yearned for the heat of the fire and asked the wretched old hag if he might stay in her house for the night.

"And what have ye to pay?" asked the hag.

"Oh, but I am poor, and have not a single coin," replied the peasant. "How I long to be rich!"

"Well," said the hag. "There is a tree that is hollow by the river. Inside the tree is my greatest prize. You may have it if you promise me the hand in marriage of your first born son."

Now, the peasant thought about this offer, and knowing that there was a great possibility that he might ever bear a child, and so very wet, cold, and miserable, agreed to the terms and promised the hand of his first born son.

Soon, the poor man found a tall, dead hollow tree that stood alone near the river. Climbing inside, he retrieved a chest that was full of pure gold and fine silks and the clothes that were fit for a prince. So, the peasant took the gold and fine silks and put on the lavish clothes, and when the towns people saw him, they didn’t recognize him as a peasant, but as a man of royalty, and assumed that he was a prince from a nearby kingdom. The princess immediately took notice of him, and requested that he should be her husband.

And so, the young peasant soon became king.

But now the old hag was back, and requesting for her debt to be paid in the hand of the kings’s son, Prince James.

Though one should know, that even though Prince James was tall, the most handsome prince in the land, and many women desired to be his bride, the prince was also a very good man, and loved his father dearly. And when he heard about the promise that his father had made to this old hag, he consented to marry her that she should be taken for his new wife.

On the day of the wedding, the hag arrived an hour late for the ceremony. While all the guests were dressed in their best attire, the regretful bride wore her shabby, filthy, diseased dress. As the prince and the hag stood at the alter, she grunted her vows and when he slid the ruby wedding ring on her finger, he embarrassingly could not get it over her large, broken nails, so he forced it and she yelped with pain because her hands were covered with sores. Just as he bent down to kiss her leathery, boiled lips, she opened her mouth and slobbered on his cheeks and chin.

Oh! How everyone gasped and whispered at the prince’s poor taste!

During the great feast, she did not eat as a proper lady should, but filled her goblet to the rim, and tore the flesh off of the bird that sat on her plate. She belched, and swore and made conversation as loudly as she could. All the while the prince tried to be polite to his wife, but she merely grumbled and whined at his civility.

Soon, the ceremony ended, and the prince knew that he must go to his bride that awaited in his bed chamber. With a heavy heart, he made his way up the steps to the chamber, wishing that he didn’t have to spend the night with such a terrible hag!

Opening the door to his bedroom, he lightly stepped into the chamber hoping that his wife might be fast asleep by now. However, when he entered the room, instead of the ugly old crone, there stood the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

She stood by the bed in the clothes made for a goddess, and her hair was full and curly, and the most wonderful shade of honey brown he had ever seen. Her eyes were greener than the brightest, precious emeralds in all the land. And her face glowed with elegance and her smile was as sweet as sugary bread.

Prince James fell in love with her in that moment, and regretted marring that awful hag!

"Who are you?" asked the prince.

The beautiful woman smiled and replied: "I am your wife," and as proof, she held up her ruby wedding ring that he had put himself on his bride’s fat finger. Surely, no man could have pulled that ring off of her chubby finger, so he believed without a doubt.

"You’re a witch!" the prince exclaimed. His wife laughed.

"No, my name is Pamela, and I had was cursed to live as a terrible hag until a Prince agreed to take my hand in marriage." At this her smile faltered. "However, you have to make a choice."

"What choice is that?" asked Prince James.

"You may choose to have me like this only during the day. . .or only at night."

Now, the prince was torn. Surely, if he picked to have this beautiful woman during the day, he could show her off, and all of his people would admire his ravishing, lovely wife. Her name would be known throughout the land as the most bewitching queen in history. However, if he chose the evening, he could spend his nights with his gorgeous bride.

For the young man, the decision was much too difficult, and so prince asked: "What do you want?"

At that, his wife smiled and answered: "I want to look like this all of the time."

And so Prince James had his lovely wife Pamela by his side during the days, and she held him closely during the night.

And they lived happily ever. . .

***

". . .and then they kissed."

"MOM!"

"I’m sorry!" Pam laughs as she grabs her son who tries to wiggle away from her. "I’m kidding! I’m kidding!"

After a moment, Jake calms down and lies still in his bed. The warm lights of his lamp spills across his mother’s face, and Jake can’t really imagine her as a hag, but he defiantly can see her as a beautiful queen.

"So, what did you think?" she asks as she stands up.

"Yeah. . .it was. . . okaaay. . ." he mumbles and she laughs.

"You liked it! Admit it." After a beat of silence, she rolls her eyes. "You are so much like your dad. So stubborn. But unlike you, your dad is a romantic. . ."

But the truth is, and Jake would die before he told anyone, he did like the story. He liked the story a lot. But there’s no way he would ever admit it. Cynthia would tease him about it forever. And even though Jake would never, ever tell anyone, he does like romantic stories. So he must be a lot like his dad.

"So, what’s the moral of the story?" his mom asks as she sits down on his bed.

"Marry ugly people?" he thinks it’s the right answer, but his mom bursts our laughing.

"No! Women like to think for themselves. And don’t ever make their choices for them, okay?"

She bends over and kisses his forehead and turns off his lamp. As she makes her way for the open door, he stops her.

"Mom?" he mutters quietly. She stops and the light spills on her skin, causing half of her face to hide in shadows.

"Yeah, hon?"

"Why did he care about nighttime?" he asks.

"What?"

"Why did he care if she was pretty at night? He wouldn’t really see her, right? He’d be sleeping?"

". . ."

"Why was that so important to the prince?"

". . .Goodnight, honey."

***

Later, Pam crawls in bed next to Jim.

"I probably shouldn’t be telling him those stories anymore," she sighs as she lays next to her husband. "They’re making him think too much."

"And exactly why is that a bad thing? Seriously, Pam. No matter how much you want to believe it, our kids aren’t stupid." She laughs at his comment and swats his stomach.

So she tells Jim the bedtime story she told Jake, and in the end, Jim is grinning like an idiot.

"So, he wanted to know why the prince cared so much about spending the night with the beautiful princess. What was I supposed to say? I didn’t want to give him the talk about the birds and the bees. I really should have been more careful. Especially when I’m talking about the concept of choice."

"Mmmm," he leans over and runs his hand up her thigh. "That story is making me think too much."

And when he kisses her, she completely gives in, and she realizes being with Jim is better than any fairy tale she could ever imagine.

After, as she rests her head on his chest, she’s slowly drifting off when she hears him mumble: "The best choice I ever made was you."