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Author's Chapter Notes:

I'm going to try to condense the episodes, maybe three a chapter...we'll see.

To make it easy---- Jim is in italics, Jon is not.

 

"Douche!"

"That's- that's really not mature. Nice way to answer your phone."

"Ha! What can I say, I gave you a special ring tone. How'd it go today?"

"How did what go? Oh the interview...eh. The guy was kind of weird...I mean, spastic, like hyped up on something. Michael, I believe his name was. But the lady who interviewed me was pretty nice, straightforward."

"Was she hot?"

"Focus."

"Sorry. But at least you're trying to find work now, to be able to pay off those student loans."

"Let's see, here I am a graduate of communications and well...I guess in a way I'll be communicating with people...kinda."

"It' a job. And you wanted to start being an adult. You and Mark can't just play Madden all day and go to bars at night."

"I don't get why that couldn't have been my career."

"It's a start, bro. I mean, it's a job right, just temporary. So did you get it?"

"Well, you're talking to the newest sales representative at Dunder-Mifflin Scranton."

"Awesome. So...you sale paper now."

"Okay, seriously, I hate you. Don't...make fun of me. It's not my fault the job market, after four years of half ass-ing my way through school, is garbage."

"Didn't you go to summer school? So technically, it's more like four and a half years."

"I'm hanging up-"

"Okay, okay don't hang up. No, wait! Seriously, I'm proud of you, Jim."

"Oh my god, shutup, Jon."

"Fine, I take my attempt to be nice back. When do you start?"

"Monday. It's definitely temporary. Six months and I'm out. I can't see myself selling card stock. That's not my career, and if it is, that's just gonna be really, really, really sad. Hey, you want to drive that extra hour and grab a beer with me?"

"Sure. I'll drive down there and celebrate with you. You're buying."

"Ah, thanks."

"Anytime. Call Mom first."


"How was your first day?"

"Ughh."

"Use descriptive words, Jim."

"Remember...when you worked at like Burger King for like three days and you said it you'd never look at the whopper the same again?"

"Worst three days of my life."

"It was sorta like that."

"Jim, you sell paper, how bad could it be?"

"Well...okay. I sit next to a guy named Dwight. And that wouldn't have been so bad...if he didn't try to convince me that a spud gun was protected under the right to bear arms in the Constitution."

"Interesting..."

"He was very...passionate about that too. Asked me did I want to go to paintball championship with him."

"That's nice."

"I should have known, Pam warned me."

"Pam?"

"The receptionist. She told me I would never be the same after I met Dwight. She was so right..."

"Pam....is she hot?"

"Yeah...I guess. Yeah. She's my age. Pretty great actually."

"Love sparks...awww...how cute. Jim Halpert gets it on with the secretary."

"Receptionist. And she's really nice, so don't talk about her like that."

"Calm down, no one's saying anything about your girlfriend."

"Whatever. Anyway, there's this old guy named Creed, he pretty much slept the whole time I was there, under his desk. Pam told me he was in a band in the 70's and she suspects he snorted enough drugs to knock out a third world county. I gotta say I agree. No one seemed to notice he was under his desk though ...which was weird. Then it's Oscar, Kevin, and Angela in accounting."

"Angela? Hot?"

"Is that where your mind always goes?"

"Kinda."

"She's okay. She's sorta...mean. I said hello to her at the fax near Pam and she said I needed a haircut."

"Hmmm..."

"Oscar and Kevin are cool. Kevin does fantasy football. There's this guy in HR, Toby, cool dude, well before Michael told him he wasn't allowed to talk to me anymore."

"What?"

"See? It's crazy! From what I gather...Michael's a little touched or something. He's just...he's a bit over the top, but you can tell he's trying a bit too hard. Pam says you get used to it after awhile. He always comes to her desk and does these awful - and I mean awful- imitations of someone and she's learned to zone him out. Come to think of it, he's like you kind of..."

"Oh, low friggin' blow."

"Score. Let's see, what else? There's a woman named Meredith, who sits near the Creed guy. I'm pretty sure she's having her own kegger at her desk...as she was passed out majority of the time. Pam had to shake her awake to go to the conference room for a meeting. I'm guessing it's something about that section of the office...yep definitely staying away from there. Then it's Stanley, Phyllis who is really sweet, Kelly- and she seems okay, didn't talk to her, she's in the annex in the back...and there's Devon, and a temp named Maggie -"

"What did Pam say about them?"

"She didn't say anything about them, I don't think. Why?"

"Because Pam and you seemed to talk a lot on your first day."

"Oh...I mean, she's really nice and sweet, and I mean-"

"Uh huh."

"Shutup."

"You like Pam."

"I just met her. But I guess, she's...it's so odd because I don't see her being someone's receptionist. She's got too much personality for that job."

"Ah. How do you know about her personality?"

"We talked in the break room. What are you getting at Jon?"

"Why don't you ask her out?"

"I...like for a beer or something? No...I mean, I shouldn't date people at work. That's not a good idea. But, I dunno. Maybe...a lunch date or something."

"Yeah. Nothing fancy, nothing wrong with a lunch date. People have lunch dates all the time. That way if she's like, got some sort of weird tick or felonies or something, no harm no foul. You can write it off as a friend thing."

"That, makes sense..."

"Well sounds like you had a good day, little brother."

"I did. I think I really did."


"Hey."

"Wow, you sound...are you crying?"

"What?! No. I'm not crying."

"Okay, what's up with you then? How was the lunch date? You said you were going to ask her today."

"Yeah...I did."

"Oh, she rejected it huh?"

"No...we went to Cugino's for lunch. And it was really really nice."

"Okayyyy...so you hit it off I'm guessing. So why are you acting all moody?"

"We had this great talk, she's...she draws. Like an artist. And she's really good at it but she doesn't think so. She didn't even go to school for it but she drew me this picture on a napkin and I was totally blown away by it. And Pam likes some awesome movies too, and she watches some sports so when she bought up the stats on the Eagles, I was kinda...she's really awesome..."

"So...again. She's like, sounding pretty amazing."

"She is. God...she is. We talked about anything. It just seemed so easy. Like, we knew each other before, or something. I just feel like a fool."

"Jim...what happened-?"

"She's engaged. I mean, here I am, drooling over this woman, and we're having this...it had to be like seriously the best lunch I ever had...and she says to me...honest to god, she says ‘You sound like my fiancée Roy'."

"Wow. There it is..."

"It. just. sucks.ass."

"I agree."

"And I finally stop being a big idiot and notice this tiny ass ring on her finger, and she's sitting there smiling at me, and trying to keep up the conversation, and all I could do is look at that damned ring."

"I'm sorry bro, but there's more fish in the sea."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sounding like a girl right now aren't I?"

"It happens. Remember fish in the sea and all that. You are the fisherman..."

"Don't ever say that to me, ever again. So weird."

"I'm going to put that on a t-shirt somewhere. Inspirations by Jon. At least you know early on. Before you like, really started to like her, right?"

"Yeah...I guess..."

"Hey, go out with Mark, go shoot some darts or something. It does suck, but hey...it happens."

((long pause))

"Yeah. You're right, I don't know why I'm spazzing over this."

"Are you alright? You need a hug or something?"

"Naw. Keep your hugs to yourself."

"Later, Jim."

"Bye Jon."

 

Chapter End Notes:
Hope you like it, there's more.

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