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Author's Chapter Notes:

Please enjoy! And yet more thanks to EllaBella for beta-ing!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Shit.

Over and over and over again, playing in his head like some annoying tune.

You should have just asked her anyway, man. Who cares if the moment was ruined? You should have just asked. And now she’s walking over, looking like she’s been crying. And you did that to her. You’re supposed to be the one to stop her pain, and now look at her. Man, you are a jackass.

“So who’d ever think we’d live to see the day Andy would propose to Angela at an office related carnival?” Pam asked walking over to Jim after her talking head.

“Well, me, for one.” And it was awkward all of a sudden. “Hey, you do, uh, want to get going?”

Pam looked up with tear stained eyes and a slight smile, “Yea, but do you mind just taking me back to my place? I have that early class tomorrow, and I kind of have some other stuff at home I wanted to catch up on. Is that OK?”

He looked down at her, his heart breaking, seeing her clearly upset because he didn’t pull through. “Of course;” he replied with a half smile, “I was getting kind of sick of you anyway.” Jim slid his hand in hers and walked her to the car; Pam lightly smacked his arm replying “I’ll bet you are.” giving off the best smile she could muster.

To say the least, the car ride was quiet and awkward. Jim’s mind raced with thoughts of his failure and Pam’s with thoughts of being plain old unmarriable. The five minute ride seemed to drag forever. As Jim pulled into the parking spot, he turned off the car and just looked at her.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to even tuck you in?” he was trying, trying to be playful and not focus on the biggest mistake he was making by not asking Pam at that very moment to marry him.

“Yea, you know the monsters under my bed are nice, Jim. I’ve told you about the midnight tea parties.” Pam forced out what seemed like the millionth fake smile since Andy popped the question to Angela and Jim clammed up.

“Ah, yes, how could I forget that?” and with that the silence returned. Jim’s heart was beating out of his chest and he was certain Pam could hear it, until she spoke up.

“I’m going to head in, I have to be up by six tomorrow,” she leaned in for a kiss as Jim interrupted.

“I love you, you know.”

“I know,” and there was a smile and it actually was real. “I love you too.” Jim smiled back before giving her a kiss goodnight. And then she was gone.

**********************************

 

As he lied in bed that night, alone, he couldn’t help but think he made the biggest mistake of his life. How is it possible for one day to change from a regular Friday to one of the most important days of your life into one that resulted in you sleeping alone for the first time in six weeks? You know she’s probably crying herself to sleep tonight and it’s your fault. I’m going to kill Andy on Monday. Look at you, its 10:17 on a Friday night, and you are alone, in your bed, without Pam, not having amazing life changing engagement sex. The minutes dragged, and Jim swore that every time he looked at the clock it blinked to laugh at him as if to say ‘you are a moron.’

Finally, after what felt like hours of tossing and turning, Jim got an idea at 11:39. This is nuts, you said you were going to propose tonight, so you will just go over there now and propose. I mean its 11:39, 11:40, 11:40, you have twenty minutes.

Jim shot out of bed, threw on a pair of jeans that were balled on the floor and yanked a hoodie over his head. He paused, remembering he had to bring the ring. That’s all you need. He hurriedly rushed to where he’d thrown his work pants and got the ring. Immediately he placed it in his pocket. Jim took one quick look at himself in the mirror and lightly tapped his pocket to make sure the ring was still there. He was going to stick with the original plan. He was going to ask Pam, and it was going to be that night.

***********************************

 

At 11:54 Jim pulled into the same spot where earlier that night he had convinced himself that he had ruined his life. This is it, he thought, no going back now. Jim sprinted up the steps to Pam’s small, but nice, second story townhouse apartment and pounded frantically on the door. Inside he heard what sounded like a lamp falling off of a table. He looked at his watch, 11:55, comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon…Nothing. So he called out, “Pam, it’s me, uh Jim.” Please open the door.

11:56. The door swung open, and there she stood, nose and eyes red from crying. “Oh, Pam…” he swept her up in his arms, afraid to move. She was the first to break the spell.

“Jim, its midnight, what are you doing here?”

He looked at his watch, “11:57, and I couldn’t sleep. And I just really wanted to see you.”

“Yea?” there was that beautiful smile he loved so much.

“Yea, plus the monsters under my bed get kind of rowdy when they gamble.”

“You’re weird, did you know that?” and it was easy again.

“That, I’ll have you know, is actually the best compliment you could ever give me.” Stop stalling, it’s 11:58, you have two minutes. “Actually, there was kind of a big reason I came over here. Mind if I come in?”

Just seeing Jim at her doorstep increased her mood quickly, and she was in the mood to joke around again. “I guess if you have to.”

“Oh, I insist.” Jim said, flashing a huge shit eating grin.

Pam led Jim into the small living room area. It was very Pam. Small tea lights were lit on the coffee and end tables, the setting actually couldn’t have been more perfect.

Pam chimed in, “So, something big huh?”

11:59. Jim hadn’t really thought through what he was going to say. Not even earlier that night when it was “planned”. He figured he’d just go with the flow, and say what he felt at that moment. So Jim stopped thinking, and started talking. “Yea, I actually had this whole big scenario planned out, but that kind of, fell through. So I think the best thing for me to do right now is just say it.”

“Jim…” the name came off her lips in a whisper.

“Because I know that if I let the moment pass, yet again, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I wanted tonight to be perfect, and I wanted it to be romantic and I wanted it to kick your ass. But you know what, we don’t pull that off. We pull of little misunderstandings and always go about things the hard way. So for once, I just want to make it easy. No big gestures or fireworks. Just you and me.” Jim reached for his pocket, pulled out the ring, and slowly got down on bended knee. “Pam…” as he held her left hand.

Pam’s face was flushed with tears and one big giant smile. She lifted her free hand to wipe away a fresh set of tears from her face.

“I kind of wanted to ask you something.” he’s not quite sure how he was able to keep his voice so straight, or how he was able to flash his smartass grin.

“OK,” she replied the best she could.

“Will you marry me?” his voice ever so lightly broke in his nervousness.

Pam looked down at him, grinning from ear to ear. “Of course!” she managed to blurt out. And with one fluid motion, the ring was on her finger and their lips were smashed together.

When they broke apart, Jim noticed the green lit clock on Pam’s DVR, 12:03. Oh, well. You can’t win them all I guess. He went back to kissing his bride-to-be.

*********************************

 

Looking back on that night, Jim doesn’t think about how Andy stole his thunder, or the 200 bucks he wasted on fireworks. He doesn’t think of the tears Pam shed before he took her home, or the ones she inevitably shed before he pounded on her door. He doesn’t even think that in the end, he didn’t even ask her on the day he said he was going to. He looks over at his sleeping wife and he thinks that no matter how imperfect that night was, it actually turned into one of the more perfect moments in their life.

Chapter End Notes:
Hope it helps you guys get out of the funk that I know I was in!


JamGirl is the author of 5 other stories.
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