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Story Notes:
Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me.

I'm using the lines of "And So it Goes" (my favorite Billy Joel song) for some of the chapter titles - the song kind of captures the Jim and Pam relationship for me. Shout out to Vampiric Blood for putting Joel in my head.
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“Jim, I think I’m going to throw up.”

“No, no Beesly, don’t do that, ok? I’m pretty sure you don’t make friends on the first day by vomiting on people’s shoes.”

“Jim, I’m serious. I’m just really, really nervous and I’m looking around at everyone and they’re so young and together and I don’t think I’m supposed to be here,” she wailed into the phone.

Jim leaned back in the driver’s seat of his car, running his fingers through his hair and wondering if he should keep trying to make her laugh anyway or if it would just make matters worse. He could picture her pretty clearly, biting her lip and fidgeting amidst a crowd of new faces.

They had gone up together the week before to get her settled in and to check out the campus for the first time. Jim wanted to be able see where she’d be. Maybe if he could be familiar with her surroundings, she wouldn’t feel so far away. It worked, a little, but after months of being able to touch her whenever he liked (which was always), her not being there made him feel restless and unsettled. He couldn’t sit still, couldn’t concentrate, and his fingers kept twisting around soft curls that weren’t there, or around a small, velvet box that was starting to look a little worse for the wear.

“Aw, c’mon, Pam. You and I both know that isn’t true. Where’s Fancy New Beesly when you need her?”

Pam let out a short “Hah,” and sighed before continuing. “Screw her. She’s the one that got me into this in the first place. All I want to do is to come home and have little Halpert babies. Let’s buy a farm. Maybe I should learn to knit?”

Jim swallowed audibly, eyes wide as he tried to figure out how to respond.

“Uh, Jim? You there, sweetie? We don’t have to buy a farm if –”

“Do you really want to have little Halpert babies with me someday? I mean, seriously?” He felt like an idiot as soon as the words left his mouth. For a second there was silence, and he was suddenly seized by a fit of frustration and anger at his utter stupidity. What had possessed him to push her like that? When had he turned into Kelly?

He smacked his palm against his forehead, wishing to God he knew why the connection between his brain and his mouth seemed to functioning so badly. He shifted the phone to his other ear and opened his mouth to attempt some sort of damage control when he realized she was laughing softly. She sounded…happy. Content. There was no trace of the anxiety that had been wringing her voice earlier, and Jim could feel the muscles in the back of his neck relax slowly.

“That’s what I want, Jim. That’s all I really want. Though I have to say,” she went on, unable to resist teasing him, “I thought I’d made it pretty clear most nights. Obviously I’m going to have to get you up to speed when you come to visit.”

They both laughed at that, and Jim had a sudden sense of her being right there with him despite miles and miles of highways and traffic and people.

“But hey, I’d better go sit down. I don’t want to stumble in tardy on my first day. I’d probably end up sitting next to Dwight’s third cousin or something.”

“You dork.”

“You know it! I’ll call you after it’s over, ok? I love you.”

“You too.”

As he took the elevator back to the office, Jim had a feeling he’d be visiting a lot sooner than he’d originally planned. He wasn’t sure he could wait any longer.






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Chapter End Notes:
I know, I'm so cheesy.

The title belongs to Walt Whitman.

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