INT – Conference room
Jim is sitting at the head of the conference room table. Phyllis, Dwight, Stanley, and Andy are seated at the table, taking down notes.
JIM
Alright. So Andy, you’re alright with cold calling everyone on the list of business startups I gave you?
ANDY
Let me tell you something, Big Tuna. When I get on that phone, there is no such thing as a cold call. When I worked as a telemarketer, selling carving knives and other assorted cutlery, people loved me. You know why? Because of the soothing sound of my modal vocal register. They didn’t mind that I was calling them between the hours of 6 and 8 and interrupting their dinner. People loved me so much, they would invite me to dinner. And if they happened to live in the neighborhood, I would always accept.
JIM
Wow. That is a great story, Andy. Thank you for sharing that with us. So, I think that about does it. I guess we can get back to work now. Unfortunately.
Everyone laughs except for Dwight, who shakes his head in disgust.
PHYLLIS Talking Head:
Jim has been in a very good mood lately. He’s really hot when he’s in a good mood.
DWIGHT Talking Head:
Jim has a tremendous lack of respect for his job. It disgusts me. Even more than something horrifyingly disgusting would disgust me. Which is rare, because very little disgusts me. But when I see an ineffectual freeloader like Jim Halpert, who is ungrateful for his position as Assistant Regional Manager when some of us Assistant to the Regional Managers can only dream of one day having his job… That disgusts me.
INT – Office.
Jim is standing by the door of the break room as the sales team exits.
JIM
Thank you, Phyllis. Nice blouse by the way. Stanley. Hey, way to go on that Henderson account. Nice work.
Jim gives Stanley a fist bump.
JIM
Andy. Thanks for helping me out with those cold calls, buddy.
Jim pats Andy on the back and heads into the conference room to grab some paperwork off the table. Andy turns to face Dwight, who is exiting the conference room.
ANDY
Did you see that? He gave me the ‘atta boy slap.
DWIGHT
More like the “you’re in my way so move” slap.
Dwight shoves Andy out of his way and sits at his desk.
ANDY
You only wish you could get slapped by Jim.
Kevin walks by from the direction of the kitchen and begins to chuckle.
ANDY
I didn’t mean it that way Kevin, I meant slapped in a way that he likes it.
INT – Office
A few minutes later, Jim is sitting at his desk with one earbud in his ear. He’s diligently working on some paperwork as he hums along to “Rock the Casbah” by The Clash.
DWIGHT
What are you doing?
Jim continues humming along to the song.
DWIGHT
Your singing is terrible. It sounds like someone sat on a cat.
JIM (sings softly under his breath)
…the king told the boogie men
You have to let that raga drop
DWIGHT
It literally sounds like cat is actually dying.
JIM (continues singing)
The oil down the desert way
Has been shakin’ to the top
Andy smiles and joins in.
ANDY and JIM (signing softly)
The Sheik he drove his Cadillac
He want a’cruisin down the ‘ville
The Muezzin was a standing
On the radiator grille.
Everyone joins in for the chorus of “Rock the Casbah” and Jim smiles, singing along with the office, except Dwight, of course, and Angela who looks annoyed by the distraction.
EVERYONE
The Sharif don’t like it
Rock the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
The Sharif don’t like it
Rock the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
ANGELA Talking Head:
Yes, I've noticed that Jim has seemed happier than usual lately. But what does he think this is, High School Musical? He's no Harry Connick, Jr.
KELLY Talking Head:
Ohmygod, High School Musical is totally awesome. Jim could totally be our Zac Efron. I can't believe his girlfriend put naked pictures of herself all over the internet. That is so trashy. I know so much better than that. Like if I wanted to make Ryan jealous, I wouldn't post naked pictures of myself on my Myspace page. I would mail them to his sorry ass so he could share them with all of his new prison friends, just like I did last week. His friends are probably all "Daaamn, looks like Kelly's much better off without you," and it's true because I totally am. I barely even think about him anymore.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I do not own the rights to the show, these characters, or the awesome song contained in this chapter.
Chapter End Notes:
Review, please? :)
Lots of interesting "bonds" will be formed in this story. Stay tuned!
Lots of interesting "bonds" will be formed in this story. Stay tuned!
