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I would like to thank my awesome beta readers, ISayOye and jinxcoke, for taking the time to read and comment on this story. Any remaining infelicities are my own.
"Invisibility. Also, the ability to fly. Also, flamethrower eyes." Dwight's voice was firm.

"It's scary to think about how much you've considered this question," Pam said. She was perched on the corner of Jim's desk. She swung a foot back and forth. Michael was out, the afternoon was drawing to an end, and a lazy, slacker feel pervaded the atmosphere at Dunder-Mifflin Scranton.

Dwight looked up from his monitor. "We should all be prepared, in case our mutant genes finally express themselves when we're not looking."

Entering from the kitchen, Jim handed a cup of coffee to Pam and then sat down in his chair. "Mutant genes?" he asked. "Dwight's talking about his family again?"

Pam waved a magazine at him. "There's this article in TV Guide, about Heroes. There's a questionnaire about what superpower you would choose if you could pick one." She squinted at Dwight. "One superpower, Dwight."

"What if my superpower is to develop any superpower I want?" he shot back triumphantly.

Jim shook his head. "Doesn't work that way."

"Why not?"

"Just doesn't. Article Seventeen of the Marvel Comics Convention. Right, Pam?"

She nodded solemnly. "Clause Four, Subparagraph Twelve. No superhero shall develop ... shall develop ... "

"Megapowers!" Jim said, nodding his head thoughtfully. "That would be a superpower that trumps all superpowers."

"But that's not --" Dwight started.

Jim cut him off. "How about you, Andy? What would your superpower be?"

Andy pushed away from his desk and grinned broadly, fingering his tie. "Why, super-awesomeness, of course."

Pam shook her head. "No. That falls under 'megapowers'."

"Besides, 'awesomeness' is not a power," Dwight snapped.

"Sure it is," Andy said, his grin vanishing.

"It's neither supernatural nor paranormal," Jim said. Andy stared off into the distance, his brow furrowed in intense concentration.

"Maybe it's paranatural," said Pam.

"Or supernormal," said Jim. "That would be my pick. Pam, put me down for 'supernormal'."

"Will do," she said, pretending to write on the page.

"Supernormal is an oxymoron," Dwight said, frowning. "That's not allowed."

"What do oxen have to do with superpowers?" Jim said. "Unless we're talking about super BS." Pam's hand flew up to cover her mouth, but her eyes danced with laughter.

Dwight, suspecting he was being mocked, frowned even more ferociously. "Some people take this seriously."

"Way too seriously," Jim said under his breath.

"Super strength!" Andy cried, coming out of his reverie. "I want super strength."

"Right," Pam said firmly. "That's a good one, Andy." She wrote on the magazine.

Jim cocked an eyebrow at her. "Are you taking orders for superpowers?"

She returned his look deadpan. "Michael will have them shipped in from Schenectady."

"Why would he ship them in? Why not have Superman fly them directly here?"

Dwight sighed. "Really, Jim. As if Superman doesn't have better things to do."

Phyllis turned around in her chair. "Anyway, he spends all his time in Metropolis, chasing Lex Luthor."

Dwight dismissed her with a glance. "Smallville. Not Metropolis."

"Oh, you mean that teen soap opera?" Phyllis asked. Her sideways glance at the reddening Dwight told Jim the question was not as innocent as it seemed.

"What would your superpower be?" Pam asked brightly.

"I'd love to have X-ray vision," Phyllis said. She glanced at Jim, then looked away with a tiny smile. Jim's cheeks turned pink and he swiveled his chair away from Phyllis. Pam's cough sounded suspiciously like a smothered laugh.

"Right," Pam said. "I'll put you down for X-ray vision."

"Then put me down for lead foil underwear," Andy said, laughing at his own joke. Everyone looked at him blankly. "You know. So she can't see me naked." The blank looks continued. "I mean, who wants a ... I mean, nobody would want Phyllis looking at their... "

"Secrets?" Jim finished for him.

"Uh, yeah. Secrets." Andy was scowling now. "Okay, maybe my superpower should be invisibility. Then her X-ray vision is no good."

"I wouldn't be looking at your ... secrets... anyway," Phyllis huffed.

"You can't have invisibility. I claimed it first," Dwight said peevishly.

"Share it," Pam said. Everyone looked at her.

"How can you share invisibility?" Andy said.

"Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Dwight is invisible. On Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, Andy is invisible."

"Can't do it," Dwight said immediately. "I need to be visible on Thursdays when I work out at the dojo."

"And I have a capella practice on Thursdays," Andy said.

"That doesn't make sense," Phyllis said. "You can sing when you're invisible."

"You don't know anything," Dwight sneered at Phyllis. "The absence of a larynx would completely change his voice."

Jim looked at Pam, with a what-have-you-started question on his face. She shrugged, eyes twinkling. "Fine," he said loudly. "Thursday is a no-invisibility day. Anyone not appearing in the office that day will be counted as an unexcused absence."

"Even if they have a good excuse? Like saving someone from a fire?" Dwight challenged.

"Or X-raying accident victims on the scene to determine how badly they're hurt?" Phyllis added roguishly.

Jim shook his head. "As Assistant Regional Manager, I'm putting my foot down on this. On Thursdays, no one in this office is allowed to be invisible."

Dwight squared his shoulders. "Very well. But you should order Phyllis not to use her X-ray vision on that day."

"That's true," Pam chirped. "It's only fair."

Jim shot her an I'll-make-you-pay-for-that look as he looked at his three co-workers. "Phyllis? They have a point. If you're going to have this great power, you must use it responsibly. You may not use your X-ray vision on Thursdays."

Phyllis frowned. "Oh, okay. But I don't think it's fair."

"But that still leaves Tuesdays when she can, you know, peek at us," Andy whined.

"Guess you'd better order that lead foil underwear," said Pam, straight faced. "Jim, isn't there a website for that?"

"Probably the same place you bought my Gaydar," said Dwight.

"What?" Andy said. He looked from Jim to Pam, both of whom were poker-faced.

"Do you think we could actually get some work done around here?" Stanley rumbled. His scowl took in all four of the others. His phone was caught between his ear and his shoulder.

"What's your superpower, Stan the Man?" Andy said heartily.

Stanley glowered. "Supersilence?" Creed walked behind Stanley and bent down to dispense water from the water cooler into a paper cup.

"That would be a terrible superpower," said Dwight. "How could you possibly sell paper if you can't talk?"

"Right," Jim said firmly. "I'm banning supersilence as well. Stanley, you must talk in the office."

"What?" Stanley said, confused. Behind him, Creed squinted at the thermostat on the wall. Angela picked up a sheaf of papers and sharply rapped their edges. Her frown could have fried an egg.

"You have to choose a superpower," Dwight said patiently. "And it has to be a real one. I never heard of supersilence."

"Although some of us could wish for it," Angela said. Oscar looked at her, startled.

"Very well then, I want to be able to control the weather. Specifically, the temperature in this room." Stanley turned around ponderously and glared at Creed. Creed started, his hand on the thermostat.

"What?" said Creed.

"Don't touch that dial," Stanley boomed.

"It's cold at my desk," Creed said.

"Put on a sweater. It's hot over here."

Heading off this perennial argument, Jim spoke up. "Hey, Creed, what superpower would you choose?"

Creed shook his head. "I can't handle another one. Immortality is enough." He walked back to his desk. Pam and Jim looked at one another. Jim shrugged. Pam looked at her list.

"Okay. I've got Dwight down for invisibility, the ability to fly, and flamethrower eyes--"

"No fair," Andy said. "He only gets one."

"That's what she said," Jim said, gesturing at Pam.

Pam looked at him out of glowing eyes. "Yes, I did. Dwight?"

Dwight scowled. He swiveled in his desk chair, toying with a pencil. Finally, he said. "Okay. I'll pick flying."

"But not in the office," Jim said immediately. "Because of the danger to, uh, company property."

Dwight looked solemn. "I swear."

Pam scribbled a moment. "Then I have Andy for super strength, Phyllis for X-ray vision, Dwight for flying, Stanley for weather control--hey, Stanley, can you make sure it doesn't rain this Sunday? 'Cause I've got a picnic planned."

Jim looked at her. "You do?"

She kicked him. "How about it, Stanley?" Stanley ignored her, talking to a customer. "Okay. Then we have Creed with immortality. That still leaves Oscar, Kevin, Angela, Meredith, Kelly and Michael."

Hearing his name, Oscar glanced up. "What?"

Pam explained the questionnaire. "What superpower would you pick?"

Oscar paused, thinking.

"How about shapeshifting?" Kevin snickered. "Then he could be a girl."

Oscar frowned. "Why would I want to be a girl, Kevin?"

"What's wrong with being a girl?" Angela shot at him.

Kevin's snicker disappeared. "I mean, Oscar likes guys, so I thought Oscar would want to be a girl."

Oscar looked at Pam. "Can I get that cool body armor like Iron Man wears?"

Pam nodded. "Sure, why not?"

"Hey!" Andy, Dwight and Jim protested all at once.

"Body armor isn't a superpower," Jim said.

"Yeah, otherwise Batman would be a superhero," Dwight said.

Pam looked at Jim. "Jim? You realize Dwight is backing you up?"

Jim blanched. "Oh God."

"You're totally geeked out," she said.

"Oh, no," Jim mock-wailed.

Andy rotated his chair. "No way body armor qualifies as a super power."

"Not even when it's stored in the hollows of my bones and emerges with a telepathic command?" Oscar shot back.

Silence greeted this. Stanley hung up his phone.

"You've read the whole canon?" Dwight said reverently.

"Yeah," Oscar said, on the defensive. "Ever since he got the Extremis treatment, Tony Stark has mental powers. I used to read Iron Man all the time, growing up. He's a hero of mine."

"Totally the richest Avenger," Andy agreed. "He's on the Forbes list."

"Forbes has a list of which superheroes are the richest?" Jim said skeptically. Andy and Dwight looked at him.

"Of course," Dwight said. He looked at Oscar. "You should just claim the telepathic power to move stuff--"

"Telekinesis," said Pam and Andy simultaneously. Jim stared at Pam as if she'd turned green.

"Right, telekinesis," Dwight continued. "That's a legitimate superpower, right, Jim?"

Jim dragged his gaze from Pam. "Uh, what? Oh, yeah, telekinesis."

"You're telekinetic anyway," Dwight said. "I saw you move that coat rack that time."

Pam coughed and Jim looked away. "I have given up those powers."

"What?" said Andy.

"You can't give them up," Dwight protested.

"Telekinesis," Pam said loudly, writing on her magazine. "Okay, Oscar has telekinesis. But you can't use it in the office. No picking people up or moving their desks around."

Oscar grinned. "Ah, come on, Pam!"

"Yeah," Jim chimed in. "It might be a useful thing to have. Imagine how useful Oscar would be in the warehouse."

"No, that would give them an unfair advantage," Dwight said immediately.

"Advantage? In what?" asked Pam.

Jim looked sternly at Oscar. "He's right. Oscar, you are only allowed to use your telekinetic powers in the office."

"And the Annex," said Dwight. "And if you get out of line, Jim can always re-activate his telekinetic powers and fight you to the death."

Oscar grinned, sketched a half-salute at Jim in acknowledgment and turned back to his computer.

"I want a superpower," said Kevin loudly. "I want to be able to time travel. That way I can win the Powerball lottery."

"You already said that," Jim said immediately.

Everyone looked at Jim. "What?" Dwight said.

"Fifteen minutes ago." Jim looked back. "What? Nobody but me remembers? Kevin, are you using your time travel abilities to erase our memories again?"

Dwight looked alarmed. "Erase our memories?"

"Not everyone's," said Pam. "I remember. Jim, didn't Kevin ask to be a time traveler yesterday?"

"And he will again tomorrow," Jim said. "Since he already told us he traveled into the future to get the winning number for Powerball."

"What?" Kevin said, befuddled. "What are you talking about?"

Andy stood up. "Dude! You never told me! You have the winning number? All right!" He started a little victory dance and reached for his wallet. "Who's in? I can get a ticket down at the corner."

"Wait. I never said I knew the number," Kevin said, confused.

"Oh, man!" Jim said, his eyes wide. "I knew this would happen! Kevin, I told you, over and over! You can't abuse that memory erase thing. It'll come back to haunt you."

"You forgot the winning Powerball number?" Dwight said angrily. "That is so irresponsible!"

"Serves you right for gambling," Angela sniffed. Kevin stared at her in complete confusion.

"What superpower do you want?" Pam said to Angela, an edge in her voice. Jim looked at her with a faint expression of alarm.

"I would never want one," Angela said primly. "Magic is abhorrent to a Christian."

"Sainthood," said Dwight flatly. "That's what she wants."

Andy tapped a pencil thoughtfully on his teeth. "Mmm. Not a superpower, really."

"How about martyrdom?" Pam said quickly. Her smile had more teeth in it than usual.

"Still not a superpower," said Jim quickly. "Hey, you like animals. How about if you're a Parceltongue. You know, able to speak to snakes?"

"It's in Harry Potter," said Dwight maliciously. Pam grinned at Jim.

Angela's lip curled. "Harry Potter? No thanks."

Jim put his chin in his hand. "How about being able to see in the dark? Like a cat?"

Angela opened her mouth, frowning, then hesitated. "Hmm. Very well."

Pam scribbled. "Okay, Angela is a night-vision cat. That leaves...Kelly?" She slipped off Jim's desk and headed for the Annex. Jim was right behind her, followed by Dwight and Andy.

Jim edged close to Pam and leaned down. "Which superpower do you have?"

She glanced upward at him. "You don't know?"

Jim coughed and nearly collided with the door she was opening to the Annex.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Kelly said, looking slightly alarmed at all the people filing through into her area. Pam began explaining the questionnaire, but was interrupted by her squeal. "Ooo! I want a superpower! I want a superpower!" Kelly said. She bounced around the divider, clapping her hands together. Jim blinked at the wild assortment of colors on her today: pink sweater, green scarf, white jeans, blue shoes, and a yellow bow in her hair. She looked like a bowl of jellybeans, he thought.

"Which superpower?" Andy said, hooking his thumbs in his belt.

"Oh, let me think. I would totally want to be Michelle--from Heroes, you know? 'Cause she had this totally awesome power of illusion. I would love to make myself look like Madonna, only much younger, or maybe that girl Ramiele on American Idol only she got voted off. Or I could look like Mushy Fartone 'cause she has those eyes--"

"What? Who?" Jim said, but Kelly rushed ahead like a waterfall of celebrity gossip.

"No, wait, I don't want to be Michelle because Sylar killed her and she turned into this totally fugly overweight girl and ew. So I guess I want to be Jennifer Love Hewitt on Ghost Whisperer."

"That's not--" Dwight began. Jim laid a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Sounds good."

"What about me?"

Everyone turned around. Meredith stood at the door to the kitchen, a large thermos in her hand. She blinked a little unsteadily.

"Oh, sorry," Pam said. "Meredith, what superpower would you want to have?"

"Super what?"

"Like a superhero," Dwight said. "You know, Wonder Woman or Supergirl or --"

"Wolverine," she said firmly.

"Wolverine is a man," Dwight sneered.

"He's not a superhero," objected Andy. "He just has those steel claws--"

"Adamantine claws," Dwight corrected. "Besides, he has super healing powers."

"Adamatic claws," Andy said, annoyed. "Whatever. They're not supernatural."

"Or paranormal," said Pam.

"Or supernormal," said Jim.

"What?" said Meredith.

"Oo!" Kelly clapped her hands. "Meredith, you should totally be the Incredible Hulk! Because that would be so cool when you exploded and got huge."

Pam dissolved in a fit of laughter/coughing, while Jim hid his grin behind a hand.

Andy said, "That's what she--" but Jim kicked him and Andy yelped.

"Tell you what, Meredith," Jim said to the bewildered woman. "Why don't you take superspeed? You can be The Flash."

Meredith brightened. "Really? That would be--"

"Wrong," Dwight said firmly. "She's in Supplier Relations. She should be an empath."

"A what?" said Andy.

"Someone who empathizes with someone else," said Pam. "Meredith's job calls for her to be a good listener. That would be a good power for her to have."

Meredith smiled at Pam. "Why, thanks, Pam, that's--"

"No, no, no," Dwight said. "An empath is a being with mental powers. We already have a telekinetic. Two, if you count Jim. If there's three of you, your advantages would outweigh everyone else put together."

"I'm sorry, is this a war?" Jim said.

"Of course!" Andy snorted. "Figures. You couldn't even figure out Call of Duty."

Jim glared. "Yeah. Okay. Pam? Put me down for SuperSniper powers."

Meredith looked puzzled. "Guys?"

"SuperSniper isn't a power."

"It depends on what he's shooting," Dwight said. "Maybe he's like Cyclops, in X-Men. He shoots optic blasts with his eyes."

Pam was busy erasing an entry on her list. "Okay, Jim, your telekinesis is out, and eyeblasting is in."

"What? Eyeblasting? No, wait--"

"But you have to wear the protective shades all the time, like Cyclops," Dwight warned. "Otherwise you risk hurting your fellow co-workers."

Jim's mouth made a tight line. "Right." He still glowered at Andy, who took no notice.

"So if Meredith can't be an empath, what is she?" Andy mused.

Kelly bounced up on the balls of her feet. "I know! She can be Sylar! You know, from Heroes!"

"Who?" said Meredith.

"Perfect!" said Kelly. "She can kill everyone else and steal their superpowers!"

"I'm down with that," Meredith said, taking a long sip from her thermos..

"Awesome!" said Andy.

"No!" said Dwight, bristling. "That's a megapower!"

Meredith looked from one to another. "What's a megapower?"

Pam turned to Jim, eyebrow cocked. "A ruling, Mr. Assistant Regional Manager?"

All eyes turned to Jim. "I thought Sylar lost his powers."

"He got them back," Dwight and Pam said together. Jim looked from Dwight to Pam with thinly disguised disbelief.

"Okay. Well, if you can lose and then regain a superpower, it's not a megapower."

"Is that in the Convention?" Dwight said.

"Subchapter 21," Pam said solemnly.

Dwight straightened. "Very well. I shall take a lesson from Hiro himself, and go home and get my katana."

Meredith looked up with alarm. "What?"

"Whoa, whoa," said Jim. "No swords."

"But that is how Hiro disabled Sylar and kept him from taking his powers," Dwight protested.

"No swords."

Meredith cleared her throat. "Toby explained to you several times. You cannot bring weapons to the office."

Dwight's eyes narrowed as he looked at Meredith. "Of course Sylar would say that."

Kelly giggled and clapped her hands again.

Meredith drank from her thermos again. "You know what? Invulnerability. That's the superpower I want."

Pam looked at her for a long moment, saying nothing. She nodded and wrote in her magazine.

Jim straightened. "So. Is that everyone?"

"Everyone but Michael," said Dwight.

"Oh, he's easy," said Jim.

Pam arched an eyebrow. "Pheromone manipulation?"

Andy chuckled. "World's Worst Boss?"

"Fartman?" Jim suggested.

"KaraokeMan!" Pam said.

"Roaming hands," Meredith said brightly.

"You are all on report for insubordination!" Dwight said, his face white with anger.

Ignoring him, Pam led the way back into the larger office. Stanley was on the phone, Angela was sorting papers, and Oscar was typing into his computer. Phyllis hummed to herself as she knitted something woolly and blue. Creed flinched guiltily as they came into the room, stuffing a tinfoil hat hastily into his upper desk drawer.

At that moment, the outer door swung open and Michael Scott breezed in, his coat over one arm. "My peeps! My peeps!" he said heartily, spotting the group. "What's this? A parade? Hah! And every parade needs a Shriner on a motorcycle!"

Flinging his coat onto the couch, Michael crouched down and started shuffling around the reception area, making scooter noises. Dwight immediately crouched down in imitation, making louder scooter noises. Andy, not to be outdone, began marching in place, pretending to beat a huge bass drum.

"Seventy six trombones in the big parade, and a hundred and ten cornets right behind..." he sang.

"Stop that!" Angela cried, hands over her ears. Andy subsided, looking hurt. Jim, Pam and Meredith simply stood staring at Michael and Dwight zooming around in circles, bent over like hunchbacks. After a few moments, the lack of applause finally penetrated and Michael stopped. He stood, straightening and looking around. Dwight ran into him, knocking both of them onto Jim's desk.

"Dwight! What are you doing!" Michael cried.

Jim steadied his rocking monitor, while Pam discreetly retreated to her reception desk.

"Just following my leader," Dwight said excitedly.

"Well, don't be such an idiot about it!" Michael said.

"Be careful," Andy warned him jovially. "He might just zap you with his eyeblaster!" Andy made "zapping" motions with his fingers at Michael.

Dwight shook his head. "I don't have eye blasting abilities. That's Jim. I can fly, you idiot!"

"What?" Michael said.

"Well, it's Tuesday, so I'm invisible," Andy said archly.

Jim rubbed one hand over his face. "Dwight--"

"Invisible? I can see you just fine," Michael said.

"We were all talking about what superpowers we'd like to have," Dwight said.

Michael's face lit up. "Oh, of course! I want to be ComicMan! Everyone would laugh at me!"

Jim's face covered his mouth but not his laughing eyes, as he met Pam's equally convulsed look.

"That's a metapower," Andy said seriously. "You can't claim one of those."

"Well, what can I be?" Michael sulked.

"It depends. Pam, what was that list again?" Dwight said imperiously.

Pam cleared her throat; her cheeks were pink with amusement. "Um. You have the power of flight, but you are prohibited from using it indoors."

"Quite right," Michael said seriously. "You'd look ridiculous."

Dwight looked hurt. Pam read on. "Andy is invisible on Tuesdays. Phyllis has X-ray vision but cannot use it in the office on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Stan controls the weather but only in his part of the office. Creed is immortal, Angela can see in the dark and Oscar is telekinetic."

Michael looked at Oscar with awe. "Wow. You can read my mind?"

Oscar looked over. "Only with a magnifying glass, Michael."

Pam continued before Michael could react. "Kevin can travel through time but is prohibited from using his powers to erase other people's memories. Kelly is ... well, I guess she's a shapeshifter but she's confined herself to copying only B-list celebrities. That leaves Jim with the aforementioned eyeblasting abilities, and Meredith, who may or may not have superspeed."

Michael looked around, wide eyed. "Wow. I am so impressed with you guys. You could have been working all afternoon, but you came up with this? So awesome!"

"What's your superpower, Michael?" Dwight said.

A visible shudder went through the room. "Plaid Man?" Oscar whispered to Phyllis. "He'll have the power to clash with any wardrobe."

"I'd like superhearing!" Michael said brightly. "That way I can hear everything everyone says about me!"

Several people looked away, or covered their mouths to hide smiles. "I don't think that's a good idea," Pam said solemnly.

"Why not?"

"Because it would clash with your other superpower," Jim said swiftly. "The power of SuperSpeech!"

"SuperSpeech?"

"Uh, yeah," Jim said. He threw a help-me-out-here glance at Pam. Her grin told him he was on his own. "Uh, it's the power to, uh, overcome all sales resistance! It makes you the greatest salesman in the office!"

Before Michael could react, Dwight pumped his fist in the air in a victory salute. "Yes! And I will be his loyal sidekick."

"No, Dwight, what would you be, NotSuperSpeech?"

"No, I--"

Michael turned towards his office. "I have to think about this."

"Absolutely you do," Jim agreed. "This is a very important decision."

Dwight followed so closely behind Michael that when Michael turned back to answer Jim, he found himself nose to nose with his assistant. "Dwight! What are you doing!"

"Helping you," Dwight said in a hurt voice.

Andy stepped up right behind Dwight. "You need the best advice on this question," he said. "You need..." He paused for dramatic effect, which no one paid attention to. "You need Cornell Man!" He beamed at his boss.

"You can't be here," Dwight said. "It's Tuesday. We can't see you."

"But--"

Dwight ignored him. "Michael, we have to figure this out right away," he hissed.

Michael opened his mouth to speak to Andy, but Dwight forestalled him. "You can't speak to him! He's invisible!"

Shaking his head in confusion, Michael walked into his office. Dwight was on his heels. Without looking directly at Andy, he managed to cut him off, and slammed the door in his face.

"Well, of all the--!" Andy said. He looked around. No one else in the office was looking at him. "Can you believe that?"

No one answered him.

"Hey!"

Jim was facing away from him, typing on his computer. Andy stepped up to him. "Hey, Tuna, did you see what he....Tuna? hey?" He waved a hand in front of Jim's face.

Jim looked past him at Pam. "Hey, Pam? Do you hear something?"

"Yes," she said, straight faced. "But I don't see anything. Must be an illusion."

"Yeah, that's what it is," Jim said. He reached down suddenly and yanked out his lower drawer. It banged into Andy's shin. Andy howled and hopped away. "Must be an illusion."

Clutching his knee, Andy limped over to his chair and flopped into it, glaring at Jim.

The door to Michael's office swung open. Dwight stood in the doorway, a look of bright anticipation on his face. Jim and Pam exchanged looks of extreme apprehension.

"Fellow Dunder Mifflinites!" Dwight said in his most overbearing tone. "I give you .... SexMan!"

Jim groaned. Angela gasped in outrage. Kevin giggled. Michael appeared in the doorway, wearing his dress shirt with a huge heart cut out of red paper on his chest. He arched his eyebrows and turned slowly one way and the other. Finally he grinned at Pam. "Well? Can you feel my power, Pamalama?"

"I certainly feel something, Michael," she said, with as straight a face as she could manage.

Michael strode out into the room--or rather, he strutted. "I'll bet even Phyllis can feel me."

"Hah hah!" Dwight crowed excitedly. "That what she said! Or wait. What he said."

Michael, unfazed, strode over to where Angela sat glaring. "Surely even a frigid woman can feel the power of SexMan!"

"Michael!" Angela said, nearly speechless with fury.

Jim looked at Pam, panicked. We have to stop him, his look said.

"Wow, Michael," Oscar said. "I can feel your power."

Michael grin vanished. "What? No, wait."

Andy limped up, half-smiling, hoping to get in on whatever game was being played. "SexMan?"

Michael recoiled.

Oscar stood, smiling. "Would you like to grab some lunch, Michael? We can discuss our super powers. Somehow I feel so ... attracted to you. In ways I've never felt before."

Michael backed away. "No, that's not ... I mean, I understand that you might ... This isn't...."

"What?" Dwight said, glancing from Michael to Oscar. "Oscar, are you turning into a girl?"

Oscar frowned. "That's shapeshifting. That's Kelly. I'm telekinetic, remember?"

Jim, catching Oscar's eye, came up behind Michael. "Oh, wow. Michael, you seem so ... manly today. So ... I don't know. I just feel something different about you right now."

Michael's face went white. He looked from Oscar to Jim to Andy, then at Kevin, who was giggling uncontrollably. "I ... I ..." He turned and ran into his office. He slammed the door.

Oscar and Jim high-fived one another, smiling.

From inside Michael's office, they heard him yell, "Dwight! Get in here!"

Chuckles echoed around the room, as everyone headed back to their desks. All except Jim. He came up to lounge across Pam's reception desk. As his fingers shuffled through her trove of jellybeans, he winked at her. "So that's your superpower."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "What superpower is that?"

He popped a green jellybean into his mouth. "Chaos Woman. One little magazine survey, and a dull workday becomes sheer farce."

"You found me out."

"Your secret identity is safe with me," he said.

"Good," she said, deadpan. "I'd hate to have to get rid of my superhero costume."

Several expressions crossed Jim's face at once. "Costume?"

She smiled at him. "Oh, you have no idea."

THE END



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