Author's Chapter Notes:
ZOMGITSTHELASTdAY&WERE@MAGICKINGDOM!!!1!1!1!
Ahem. Sorry about that.
Ahem. Sorry about that.
Jim: (outside the Everything Pop food court; hands deep in his pockets and attempting to look carefree) Well, it’s the last day, the day we spend at the Magic Kingdom. Aaand…well, let’s just say it’s a good thing I have three different proposal plans for today because…obviously I need them. Kinda hoped I wouldn’t, but… (He smirks, although it’s a bit desperate in nature.) Always be prepared.
----
Dwight: (near the breakfast buffet; furtively looks around before speaking quietly) As today is the last day of our trip, obviously it is the last opportunity for challenges. The score thus far is a tie. Ringosaurus went to Andy. (He scowls in a “big deal” way.) I dominated the drawing challenge. Andy won the turtle knowledge challenge, and after an assessment of how bruised we were I claimed victory in the polka competition. (Dwight looks exhilerated.) Today will be interesting and will no doubt test the very limits of human endurance, but in the end I know I, Dwight K. Schrute, will emerge victorious.
----
As the Dunder Mifflin crew finished their breakfasts Judy gave them the rundown of what to expect at the Magic Kingdom. “It’s definitely the most famous, and thus the most popular, of all four parks, and pairing that with the fact that it’s a Saturday means that we’ll probably have to deal with much longer lines than we have on the rest of the trip,” she explained.
“Ugh,” Michael groaned. “Lines?”
“Sorry. They’re inevitable.”
“There’s nothing you can do about it?” Michael pressed.
“Nope.”
“Is there anything we can do?”
Judy shrugged. “Be patient?” she suggested with a smile.
Michael looked discouraged momentarily, then suddenly he perked up and shot a knowing glance at the camera. He bit his lips shut and attempted (unsuccessfully) to look casual.
“You can’t get us to the front of lines?” Dwight asked, somewhat critically. Judy shook her head.
“I’m not allowed.”
“You don’t hold as much power as you claim to,” he told her. Judy’s brows met.
“I never claimed to hold any power.”
Dwight smirked at her. “Obviously.”
Judy, as she was known to do often this week, blinked silently. She then shook her head a little and continued. “It’ll be quite hot again today so make sure you stay well hydrated as we wait, okay?” She raised an eyebrow. “With water. We don’t serve alcohol at the Magic Kingdom, but even if we did, or someone somehow brought some in, water is your best bet,” she elaborated, looking pointedly at Meredith and Kevin. Meredith scowled, but Kevin nodded.
“I learned my lesson,” he said solemnly.
----
Kevin: (at the bus stop; wearing an expression similar to that of a chastised child) I should not have listened to Meredith. I should have listened to Jim. (He shook his head.) It was a bad night. Thank goodness Creed never came back.
----
Oscar: (at the bus stop; looking disgusted) I share a room with Stanley next door to Kevin’s room. I could hear everything. All night. (He shudders at the memory.)
----
As the group made it through bag check and started onto Main Street USA, Judy gave them all a bright smile. “In the words of the man that started it all, ‘to all who come to this happy place, welcome!’” she greeted her charges. Smiles were on the faces of all around her as they gazed upon Main Street, a place that gave one a nostalgic feeling of a happier time that they had never actually experienced. “About midway down Main Street we’ll find one of the PhotoPass photographers and get a group shot in front of Cinderella Castle. Sound good?” Judy asked. She received a chorus of yeses, but rather than smile she looked confused. “We’re missing someone,” she said, looking around. “Where’s Michael?”
Dwight was the first – and only – one to look concerned, immediately scanning the area. “All right, let’s split into three separate search parties,” he delegated. “I’ll take Oscar, Stanley—”
“Fat chance,” Stanley replied flatly.
“I don’t think that’s necessary, Dwight. Let’s just check out the shops for a few minutes and hopefully Michael will catch up to us,” Judy said. “We just got here; he can’t be too far away.”
----
Michael: (at Guest Services; he is being shot from the shoulders up and looking wise) You know, if there’s one thing I pride myself on…well, there are many things, because I’m a man of many talents and accomplishments, but if there was one thing right now I’d pride myself on, it’s my percep…tivity. I pick up on subtle hints and clues better than anyone I’ve ever met. Judy said the lines here would be bad, and I thought to myself, how can I avoid all that hassle? And the answer hit me. (The shot widens and shows that he is sitting in one of the rented wheelchairs the park provides. His smile stretches from ear to ear as he attempts to pop a wheelie. After failing and nearly tipping, his enthusiasm is still evident as he chuckles.) If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. (He awkwardly wheels himself out of the shot.)
----
Kelly, Pam and Judy were looking at an unbelievably wide selection of Mickey ears at a shop called The Chapeau when Kelly excitedly grabbed the bridal Mickey ears off the shelf. “Omigod, these are adorable! I love them!” she squealed. Pam nodded.
“I’ve seen a lot of girls in them,” she said as she took another set off the shelf and examined them up close.
“It seems like almost anyone who gets engaged, gets married, or spends their honeymoon here picks up a set and wears them for her trip. And if she’s very persistent, she gets her guy to wear them too,” Judy said.
“Did you?” Pam asked. Judy shook her head, smiling guiltily.
“Nope. I refused. So did my husband. I think I might have violated some stipulation in my contract.”
Pam smiled too, but the smile quickly fell away as she looked down at the white ears she was slowly twirling around her finger. Kelly now had a groom’s set as well and appeared to be making them dance together. “I would love to get married down here, and I could dress like a total princess and be beautiful in a big gown. Or could you imagine getting engaged, like, in front of the castle or something? Omigod, how romantic is that?” Kelly dreamed aloud, cocking her head and gazing into the heavens.
Over her shoulder Darryl, who had been approaching, quickly turned and headed in the opposite direction. However, the shot cut back to Pam, who had stopped spinning the ears and replaced them on the shelf. Judy glanced at her out of the corner of her eye as Kelly called out to Angela. Angela frowned but did come over. “Angela, you so have to get these, and make Andy wear the guy ones with the little top hat!” she gushed, forcing the white headband onto Angela’s head before she could resist. Almost immediately Angela reached up and snatched it off.
“I refuse to wear those,” she said.
“Why? Angela you have to! You’re the only one with a wedding coming up and they looked absolutely adorable! They were the cutest! Pam, were they not the cutest things you’ve ever seen in your entire life?” Kelly inquired loudly, grabbing Pam’s arm.
Pam, who had been staring at the ears she had put back on the shelf, jumped a little. She put on a quick smile and nodded. “They were cute,” she agreed, crossing her arms. Angela merely gave one of her eyebrows a good arch and walked away silently. Pam followed shortly thereafter.
Judy and Kelly remained, although the former watched Pam carefully as the latter continued on about her dream wedding.
----
Pam: (standing outside the shop; one arm wrapped around her middle) Oh yeah, they are cute. But I kind of agree with Judy. I mean, who wants to wear those? It’s so hot out, and by wearing them it’s kind of bragging, like, “Oh, I’m engaged…or married, wow, look at me…” (She shrugs.) It’d be a lot of attention…you know what I mean. Who wants that? (She musters up a dismissive half-smile.)
----
Everyone had reassembled midway down Main Street, and had circled the Dapper Dans, Walt Disney World’s famous barbershop quartet. They were just finishing a rendition of “Goodbye, My Coney Island Baby.” Andy stood as close to them as he could, lip-synching along and practically conducting them. After they finished and were given a round of applause, the baritone stepped forward. “Any requests?” he asked. An older man finally called out, “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” into which the Dans happily launched. Pam nudged Jim.
“I’m amazed,” she said quietly, smiling up at him. He returned the gesture.
“Why’s that?”
“I thought for sure you’d ask for ‘Baby On Board.’”
Jim shrugged. “I wanted to, but I felt like I’d hit my limit on Simpsons’ references this trip. It was hard enough not to say ‘Shop Kwik-E-Mart and save!’ during the last song.”
Pam’s eyebrows shot up. “A limit on Simpsons’ references? I didn’t know that was possible,” she teased.
Before Jim could respond Judy gestured that they move away from the performance and get set up for a group photo in front of the castle. As everyone got arranged Judy gazed around again. “I really thought we would have met back up with Michael,” she said, mostly to herself. Dwight shook his head.
“Let me get a task force assembled,” he begged of her. “I’m a skilled tracker.”
“Not necessary, Dwight,” a voice boomed from behind them. Judy and Dwight turned around and looked down to see Michael there in his wheelchair, smiling grandly at them.
“Michael, what happened?” Dwight asked worriedly as Judy shook her head.
“Nothing happened.”
“Then why are you in a wheelchair? What’s the matter? Are you injured? Who did this to you?” Dwight demanded, looking around angrily. Andy appeared at Michael’s side.
“Just tell us, Boss, we’ll take care of it…and by ‘we’ I mean ‘me,’” he promised. Michael peeked at the camera as he shook his head.
“I’m fine. No one hurt me,” he assured them.
“If you’re fine why are you in a wheelchair?” Phyllis asked.
“To get around lines, obviously,” he answered, then waved his hand. “Not selfishly. Just because lines are bad for my …inter…stitial…femuritis…lupus,” he quickly amended. “Real thing. It was on House once.”
“Oh, that,” Jim said, giving the camera a self-explanatory jim.
“Michael, it’s never lupus on House, and you don’t have that,” Pam said, but Michael ignored her as he wheeled himself to the front of the group.
“It’s sporastic, Pam,” he told her condescendingly, “with only occasional flareups.”
“Duh,” Jim said to Pam, who rolled her eyes.
“Michael, I’ve seen your medical records – there was no mention of—” Dwight began, but Michael waved him off.
“Not now, Dwight. C’mon! Let’s get this picture started! Hah!” Michael exclaimed.
Judy sighed, but just gestured to the photographer that they were ready.
----
Judy: (in a smoking area near Tomorrowland; nodding) Again: should have seen that coming.
----
The group started in a counterclockwise direction around the park, and so Tomorrowland was their first stop. Stitch’s Great Escape! was the first attraction, and all had opted for it save Jim and Pam, who looked at it in confusion. Judy glanced at them before entering.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
Pam shook her head. “Wasn’t this originally something…else?” she wondered, looking thoughtful.
Judy nodded. “It was the ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter for years,” she informed them. Jim nodded emphatically.
“That’s right – I remember that. It had just opened the last time I was here. It was awesome.” He shrugged as Pam grinned. “At twelve years old, anyway,” he finished sheepishly.
“I remember that too. What happened to it?” Pam asked.
Judy shrugged too. “It was deemed ‘too scary,’” she said, using fairly sarcastic air quotes. “Stitch got to take over a few years ago.”
Jim made a face. “That is lame.”
Judy nodded subtly. “I couldn’t agree more,” she confided before heading in. Jim looked to Pam.
“Pass?” he asked.
“Pass,” she seconded.
----
Judy: (in front of Space Mountain; whispering) What? Hey, I’m sorry; he’s right. It is lame.
----
“’Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin,’” Andy read off the marquee in front of the corresponding attraction. He looked to Judy. “What is this?”
“It’s pretty cool. It puts you in a video game; you get to shoot at targets as you travel through the ride,” she told him.
“Does it keep score?” Dwight questioned.
“Sure does,” she replied, then headed off with a few others to join the queue for Space Mountain. Dwight nodded.
“Excellent. Next challenge.”
Andy looked around. “Now c’mon, man, Michael’s not anywhere around. How could you know that?” he inquired sharply.
“Are you doubting Michael?”
“No, but…” Andy looked torn. “I mean, this is just starting to seem weird to me. Fishy, if you will.”
“I won’t. You could always forfeit.”
Andy glanced at Angela, who looked neutral. He sighed. “No, I’m not gonna forfeit. I just think there’s something weird going on,” he grumbled as he slumped off to get in line.
Dwight looked slightly alarmed, but marched toward the entrance without another word.
Angela simply looked nervous as she followed the pair.
----
At the boarding area for Space Mountain, Jim and Pam inadvertantly met back up with Michael, who was still in his wheelchair. He waved happily as they approached. “Hey, I was waiting for you guys – or anyone, really,” he told them.
“Why’s that?” Jim asked. Michael’s eyes darted to the attendant.
“I need assistance,” he said loudly, then lowered his voice to a whisper that was more than easily audible. “I don’t want to blow my cover.”
“What do you mean? You don’t have interstitial femuritis lupus?” Jim asked, sounding shocked. Michael looked alarmed.
“No, of course I do, of course I do. I just…will you just help me get on?”
“No and that’s what she said,” Jim answered. Michael smiled only briefly.
“C’mon, Jim, just…dammit, just help me.”
“Sir, are you going to board?” the attendant asked, sounding impatient.
“Yes, as soon as I get assistance,” Michael said, giving Jim a loaded look. Jim sighed and stepped closer to Michael, apparently seeing this as the easiest way to avoid a scene. “Thank you, finally,” Michael offered sarcastically. “Pampers, hold my chair still.”
Following Jim’s lead, Pam went around behind Michael’s wheelchair and held the handlebars. Michael exaggeratedly struggled to his feet as he clung to Jim, making great noise in the process. Jim shot an agonized look at both his girlfriend and the camera, finally depositing Michael none-too-gracefully in the seat. He went to take a seat of his own behind him with Pam and Michael glared at him. “You won’t even sit with me?” he whined.
Jim was spared an answer by the coaster starting and propelling them into the darkness.
----
At Walt Disney’s Carrousel of Progress, Creed and Stanley sat and watched the scene before them. Act I, a scene from the turn of the last century, was wrapping up, and their mustached, animatronic narrator launched into the attraction’s famous theme song.
“There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow,
Shining at the end of every day -
There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow,
And tomorrow is just a dream away! ”
Stanley began bopping his head along, but quickly stopped and looked to Creed. Creed was doing the same thing. When he caught Stanley watching him he shrugged. “It’s catchy,” he said with no regret. Stanley’s rare smile made an appearance and he nodded.
“Yes it is,” he agreed and promptly began bopping again.
----
Dwight and Andy sat in separate green space vehicles at Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin. The attendant briefly explained that they could rotate the cars as they proceeded through the course and told them to aim at the Z’s, which served as targets, to rack up points. However, when the ride began moving into the blacklit outer space scene, Dwight spun his car around and began aggressively shooting at Andy.
“I’m not a target, stupid!” Andy cried, but fired back with equal ferociousness.
“You are the enemy!” Dwight replied, aiming the red dot that served as his guide directly between Andy’s eyes as he continued shooting.
Angela raised her eyebrows as she glanced down at the scoreboard on the “dash” of the tiny ship. “You aren’t getting any points,” she said, her eyes straying toward Dwight.
Neither paid her a whit of attention. They had to re-rotate their cars to face each other as they moved through the ride, so only occasionally did one of their shots ever have an opportunity to hit any of the targets on the walls around them. Angela tried to warn them a few more times but again was ignored. She watched, seemingly in fear, as Andy accidentally scored ten points here and there as he spun the car, and looked to Dwight urgently. His gaze never dropped from the stare down with Andy.
Finally the ride reached its end and both competitors checked their scores. “What’d you get?” Andy asked.
“Thirty points,” Dwight answered. Andy threw his arms in the air.
“Fifty big ones!” he announced triumphantly. Dwight sighed.
“Dammit!”
A boy no more than eight took in this exchange in disbelief.
“Whoa, you suck!” he told them. Andy shot him a dirty look.
“Why, what’d you get?”
The boy laughed. “I got, like, 400,000!” he bragged as he jogged off.
“How’d he get that?” Andy mused aloud.
“Oh I don’t know, maybe by shooting at the targets?” Angela replied angrily, casting a disapproving look Dwight’s way as she stormed off.
----
Dwight: (outside the ride; looking upset) I lost. My only consolation is that had that been a real laser, Andrew Bernard would now be blind and riddled with holes in his head, neck and torso. (His look turns devious.) Maybe it’s a slow developing laser. (A long pause, during which he no doubt considers what that would mean for him, as he rubs his forehead gingerly and squints his eyes.)
----
Pam: (at the exit for Space Mountain; grinning) Despite having to help Michael, I give this two thumbs up. Jim?
Jim is next to her, looking shell shocked. He shakes his head gravely. Pam laughs.
Pam: Jim’s convinced he was about to be decapitated.
Jim: (holding his hand an inch above his head) The ceiling was right here.
Pam shakes her head. Jim glances at her, then back at the camera.
Jim: (his hand in the same place) Seriously. Right here.
----
On their way out of Tomorrowland Dwight looked up and read the sign to the right of him. “Tomorrowland Indy Speedway,” he said softly, then grabbed Andy. “Come on,” he said, practically dragging him toward the miniature raceway.
“Already?” Andy asked.
“Yes.”
Andy pointed ahead of them at Michael, who was wheeling himself in circles gleefully. “Fine. Get Michael over here.”
“What?” Dwight spluttered.
“You heard me, Schrute. I want a real witness when I pound you, or I’m not doing it,” Andy ruled, crossing his arms.
“Then that’s…that’s a win for me by default,” Dwight said, not sounding as sure of himself as he should. Andy shrugged.
“Don’t care. And I bet that’s not even in the rules anyway.”
Dwight looked around frantically and spotted Jim. “Jim will serve as judge again,” he improvised. Andy didn’t looked thrilled, but finally nodded.
“Fine. Tuna! Let’s go!” he called out.
“Go where?” Jim asked.
“You’re judging our racing…thing,” Andy told him.
Jim looked from Dwight to Andy and, apparently ruling it too promising a scene to miss, nodded. “I’ll be watching you from up there,” he said, pointing at a bridge that stretched over the track. The warriors nodded and headed for the line. Pam looked at Jim as they walked to the bridge.
“Do you have any idea what they’re up to?” she asked.
“None. And that makes it even better.”
----
Dwight sat in a red car in the far right lane; Andy in a yellow car in the middle lane. Anyone paying even the slightest bit of attention could see that there was no way that this could be a race; the cars could not escape their own lanes. Nevertheless, the two Dunder Mifflin employees drove the 4/10 of a mile track as if battling for the Indianapolis 500.
This seemed to be yet another event that would end in a tie, but no more than one hundred feet short of the finish line Dwight’s car experienced some sort of malfunction and simply stopped. His eyes went wide and he pounded the steering wheel.
“Go! Go!” he ordered the little red auto, to no avail.
“Come on!” Angela yelled from the bridge, although it wasn’t clear at which man she was yelling. Jim and Pam both glanced at her oddly.
“Eat my dust!” Andy called as he puttered by, reaching the finish a moment later.
After a lot of confusion Dwight was assisted off the track safely and taken to the exit area. “I’m so sorry about that,” the young attendant apologized. “I don’t know what happened.”
“The car was stopped by your sheer suckitude,” Andy said to Dwight, rubbing it in.
“Can I get you a FastPass so you can come back and ride again later?” the attendant offered Dwight, who replied with a look that screamed hatred.
“I will never ride this again,” he spat, giving Andy a spiteful look too and walking away. Jim and Pam joined the winner a moment later.
“Congratulations?” Jim said. Andy ducked his head in faux modesty.
“Thanks Tuna. Appreciate that. Don’t forget to tell Michael when you report to him that I am now up by two.”
“And I’m reporting to Michael why, again?” Jim asked.
Andy stared at him, his eyes narrowed.
----
Andy: (at the exit to the speedway; very irritated) Yeah, I’m up by two on Dwight now. But seriously, I’m starting to get pre-tty damn suspicious about this whole thing. I mean, even Tuna seemed clueless. Just what is going on here?
Chapter End Notes:
Bonus alert - Jim's proposal list through Day Three, y'all! And I didn't include one to explain the "Baby on Board" bit, but c'mon, isn't "Homer's Barbershop Quartet" a staple in your homes? No? To YouTube with you!
A big thanks to all of you that also took a second to check out the brilliant HalloweenJack138's and my The Miseducation of Michael Scott. It was our first time writing together and it was a blast.
I wanted to give you all another chapter before the premiere tomorrow (when this officially becomes A/U, I guess...deep sad sigh). The next chapter is my favorite in this entire story, so all four of you that are reading...inspire me to hurry in posting it. ;) Just kidding. I love all of you desperately and thanks for the support.
A big thanks to all of you that also took a second to check out the brilliant HalloweenJack138's and my The Miseducation of Michael Scott. It was our first time writing together and it was a blast.
I wanted to give you all another chapter before the premiere tomorrow (when this officially becomes A/U, I guess...deep sad sigh). The next chapter is my favorite in this entire story, so all four of you that are reading...inspire me to hurry in posting it. ;) Just kidding. I love all of you desperately and thanks for the support.
