Author's Chapter Notes:
The DM crew starts Day One of their trip. First stop: Animal Kingdom.
Also, sorry about that broken link last chapter for Jim's vacation playlist - yikes, how embarrassing, no? Anyway, try it again. Hopefully that works. Mr. Comment and I worked hard on it (my husband definitely has more Jim-like taste in music...at least the way I picture Jim, and it's my story, dammit :) ). I listened to this almost exclusively as I wrote, minus a few playings of my Official Walt Disney World Soundtrack. Yes, that's the level of dork I am, folks, so let's all just embrace our Disney love together with this tale, deal? ;)
Also, sorry about that broken link last chapter for Jim's vacation playlist - yikes, how embarrassing, no? Anyway, try it again. Hopefully that works. Mr. Comment and I worked hard on it (my husband definitely has more Jim-like taste in music...at least the way I picture Jim, and it's my story, dammit :) ). I listened to this almost exclusively as I wrote, minus a few playings of my Official Walt Disney World Soundtrack. Yes, that's the level of dork I am, folks, so let's all just embrace our Disney love together with this tale, deal? ;)
It was only supposed to be an early morning establishing shot, but as the cameraman panned over the wing of the resort where the Scranton branch had taken up residence for the week, Dwight Schrute was hard to miss. He stood in the shadow of the giant Duncan yo-yo sculpture outside the building, and the shot was shaky as the cameraman secretly jogged closer. As he did so Angela rounded the corner of the building. It was clear from her purposeful stride that it was far from chance that she was running into Dwight here.
“You look lovely this morning,” Dwight told Angela, smiling.
“Thank you.”
“I enjoy the censoring of your shirt.”
Angela’s back was to the camera - three strips of duct tape had been neatly placed over the last word of the slogan, completely covering any and all trace of SHEET.
“Thank you,” she said again, shifting her weight slightly. “We should be quick; the last thing we need is anyone else seeing anything…suspicious.”
“Monkey, I can’t stand seeing you with that imbecile,” Dwight stated matter-of-factly.
“I know. I’m…sorry.” She turned a little; the discomfort she felt at uttering those two words was evident on her face.
“Break it off. Please.”
“D, I can’t do that. At least not here.”
“But what about what we’ve been doing the past two weeks?”
Angela sighed. “It’s wrong.”
“It doesn’t feel wrong,” he said. The creepiness of the phrase was dulled some by the tenderness in his voice, but the smile that spread across his face next was enough to make anyone uncomfortable. “And besides, you wouldn’t have gone to the doctor and requested oral contraceptives if you didn’t want it to happen again.”
She gave him a long look. “That’s wrong too. This is all wrong, Dwight.”
“Monkey.” It was soft and sweet, for Dwight. He took Angela’s hand. “I will fight for your love again if I have to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I will…I will engage Andrew Bernard in a competition for you.”
Angela shook her head. “No, Dwight! I don’t want him to find out about what we’ve…what I’ve…about anything that’s happened.”
“He won’t. You have my word. He won’t even know we’re competing for you. Do I have your permission to challenge him?” he asked, looking at her beseechingly. A blush made its way up Angela’s neck to her cheeks in the silence.
“You have my permission,” she finally granted, then gently took her hand back. “I should go back to my room.”
“All right. I’ll see you at breakfast in a few hours.”
Angela nodded and quickly walked back the way she came. Dwight watched her for a moment; once she had rounded the far corner he smiled triumphantly and pumped his fist in the air.
----
The Dunder Mifflin employees were just finishing breakfast as Judy stood to address them. “Okay, everyone – today we’re going to visit Disney’s Animal Kingdom. It’s the latest park to be added to the Walt Disney World family, and it’s a really cool wildlife-based experience-”
“So it’s a zoo,” Michael interrupted.
“Question: will I be able to observe any bears?” Dwight asked.
Judy smiled at both men. “Unfortunately, Dwight, we don’t actually have bears. The animals at DAK, as we call it, are much more exotic.”
“What a crap zoo,” Michael muttered. “No bears? C’mon!”
“To call DAK a zoo is a common mistake,” Judy explained gently, choosing to direct her words to the quieter employees at the table. “It is a zoo, in a way, but it’s also a theme park, a collection of amazing shows-”
“So a fancy zoo,” Michael amended, rolling his eyes at the camera. Judy opened her mouth to contradict him, but was again interrupted, this time by Dwight.
“Second question: does your zoo have gibbons?”
Judy nodded slowly. “There are gibbons at DAK, along with several other types of monkeys.”
Dwight shot a glance at Angela, who was studying her empty fruit bowl in earnest.
“Well thank God for monkeys – the zoo’s not a total bust, gang,” Michael called out to the table, snickering. Judy took a deep breath.
“I think when you see it you’ll agree it’s far more than a zoo,” she said in a patient tone most people reserved for bratty eight year olds. Michael was still laughing.
“Oh, okay, I’ll just reverse judgment til then,” he replied in a dismissive tone. Judy glanced at the camera, then back at Michael.
“You know, Michael, if you don’t think it’s up your alley you can just stay here and I’ll take everyone else to the park,” she offered politely. Dwight slammed his hand on the table.
“Fact: we go nowhere without Michael!” he announced. Michael smirked.
“No thanks, Judy. I’ll check out your fancy zoo. Even if I wasn’t interested – and I’m not – I know the rest of my posse feels the same way Dwight does,” he told their guide.
Jim gave a squinty-eyed smile to the camera, shaking his head subtly.
“Great, so, we’ll all go and check it out then,” Judy said with tarnished cheerfulness. “Why don’t we dump our trays and head out to the bus stop?” Before she could get a response Judy snatched her own trash up and hurried to the garbage can, then out the door.
----
(Jim and Pam are standing near the cafeteria exit. )
Pam: We had a conversation once about what we’d do if we owned a time machine.
Jim: (nodding) We both agreed the first thing we’d do was go back to that day Abraham Lincoln decided to see Our American Cousin and advise him against it. I always felt bad that that happened when things had finally started looking up for him; I remember reading that he had been so happy those last few weeks. He had no clue what was coming. Plus to get shot at a place that was supposed to be fun…it just seems so wrong.
(They exchange a look, then turn to the camera again. )
Pam: After we took care of that, I think our next mission would be to advise Judy to pass on this job.
----
A half hour later at the Animal Kingdom entrance, Judy was finishing an explanation of the not-to-miss attractions and the times she’d scheduled seating for the group at a few of the park’s shows (ignoring Michael and Dwight’s heckling rather impressively). She distributed maps to each person and told them the designated time to meet back at the bus pick-up. She offered to take anyone interested to check out the Kilimanjaro Safaris, and ended up leaving with everyone but Michael, Dwight, Andy and Angela. Michael glared at his turncoat employees.
“Traitors. They’re all traitors,” he declared, shaking his head. “I hope they get lost.”
“I doubt they’ll get lost travelling with a Disney-appointed guide,” Angela commented icily. Michael gave her a withering look.
“Only because she has a map. Judy with her map is like Alex Trebek with his cards – you can always pretend to be smart when the answers are on a piece of paper right in front of you,” he said, then marched over to the nearest trash can, brandishing his map. “Well you know what? Screw maps. I don’t need ‘em,” he said into the camera, tossing the offending item in the trash with a flourish. He turned back to the remaining three. “Come on, guys. Let’s go.” He started off down the main walkway. Andy started to follow but Dwight put a hand on his shoulder.
“I need to discuss something with you. A proposition.” He looked to Angela. “Please walk a few steps ahead of us; this doesn’t concern you,” he told her sternly. Angela said nothing, but the corner of her mouth twitched once as she turned to follow Michael.
“What’s up?” Andy asked as they too started down the same path.
“Fact: the undeserving Jim Halpert holds the title of Michael’s number two,” Dwight began.
“Well, yeah, but Big Tuna isn’t so bad-”
“Fact: Michael has yet to assign the position of number three to anyone yet.”
Andy frowned. “I didn’t know there was a number three post.”
“Well there is. And Michael informed me he has the candidates narrowed down to you and me.”
“Really? When’d he tell you that?”
There was a pause. “On the bus.”
“Oh. Okay. So how’s he going to decide?”
“He will be issuing challenges to us throughout the trip to test our skills. We will compete in each of these…competitions, he will observe our individual performances, and at the end of the week he will announce the winner.”
“Cool,” Andy said, grinning. “How will we find out what the challenges are?”
Another pause. “Michael will tell me; I will then tell you.”
“Why can’t he tell us at the same time?” Andy wondered. Dwight looked at him angrily.
“Do not question Michael’s methods. He is our Regional Manager; he knows what he’s doing.”
“Right. Of course,” Andy said quickly, “I was just-”
“It is also imperative that you not mention the competition with Michael in any way. He doesn’t wish to discuss it until the end of the trip. Even if it seems like he isn’t paying any attention to us, he is. Got it?” Dwight questioned. Andy nodded.
“Totally. Sounds good.” He stuck his hand out. “May the best man win.”
Dwight smiled. “Oh he will,” he assured Andy as he firmly shook his hand.
----
Andy: (standing in front of a souvenir stand, grinning) Someone should tell Dwight this ended the minute it started. No one gets one over on Andrew Bernard.
----
Dwight: (in front of a different souvenir stand, looking slightly guilty) I’m sorry I had to involve Michael in my ruse – he is my boss and an honest man. But I’m sure he’d understand my motives. If there’s one man that knows all about true love and the challenges it involves, it’s Michael Scott. (He raises his eyebrows. ) Just look how long he put up with Jan.
----
As the jeep bounced over the bumpy manmade road through the simulated – but still impressive – African landscape, Pam laughed and grabbed the handrail a little tighter. Jim wrapped a protective arm around her, laughing too.
“Thanks,” she said.
“Can’t risk losing you to the black rhino,” he replied.
“I appreciate that.”
“Especially when there are hippos up ahead.” Pam elbowed him, still giggling. “What? Hippos are responsible for a lot more deaths than you’d think, Beesly. I’ve always been curious to see how they take someone down.”
“I love you too,” Pam said as she raised her camera to snap a picture. Jim gave the camera a quick smirk, then looked back out on the scenery.
A few rows back Phyllis was taking her own picture. Afterward she glanced at Stanley, who was seated next to her, then looked into the camera. Grinning, she nodded toward him.
Surprisingly, he was wearing a bright smile. Even more surprisingly, it didn’t diminish one bit when he caught the camera catching him.
----
Stanley: (standing in the pavilion that served as the loading/unloading area for the ride; his eyebrows raised) I do smile, you know.
----
Michael: (standing in the middle of a crowded fork in the path; he is oblivious to the tourists giving him dirty looks as they attempt to maneuver around him) Do I think we’re having a better time than everyone that went with Judy? Uh, yeah. I know we’re having more fun than all those losers. Granted we haven’t really done anything yet… We’re kinda just…wandering around, getting a feel for the place. Absorbing the magic. (He dramatically takes a deep breath, apparently breathing in the magic as well, but his moment is cut short when a rotund older gentleman runs directly into him. Michael glares at him, and the man offers either an apology or a polite curse in what sounds like Swedish. Michael looks at the camera again. ) God. So rude. (He looks around. ) For this place having so much to do, I’ll be damned if I can find any of it.
----
Kevin pulled at the collar of his shirt as he stood in line to ride Kali River Rapids with Judy, Jim, Pam, Kelly and Darryl. “It is so hot,” he stated somewhat mournfully. Judy gave him a sympathetic smile.
“I know. I promise you’ll feel much cooler after this ride,” she assured him.
“Wait – do you get wet on this ride?” Kelly asked. Judy nodded. Darryl gave his girlfriend a look.
“What did you think happened on a ride with ‘river rapids’ in the name?” he questioned her. She shrugged.
“I don’t know – you’d, like, ride a little boat and look at cute animals or something?” She looked down at her white t-shirt. “This is totally going to be see-through when it’s wet,” she said, in a tone that implied she wasn’t horrified at the prospect. “Thank God I wore a cute bra today.”
Kevin shared his lazy smile with the camera.
----
(Kevin is more or less soaked as he stands at the exit of Kali River Rapids. He watches Darryl and Kelly walk by and, true to her prediction, her black and pink bra is clearly visible through her shirt. Pam walks by next, laughing with Jim and exposing a swath of bare midriff as she wrings out her shirt. Once she’s out of sight Kevin turns to the camera, wearing a satisfied smile. )
Kevin: Yeah, I feel better now.
----
“Ah, yes…here we go! Found…something!” Michael crowed, jogging. Dwight and Andy hurried to follow him. Angela followed at a slower pace, looking unimpressed. The three men slowed and looked up at the sign.
A giant blue bear held a canoe out of which Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Huey, Dewey and Louie seemed to be dangling. CAMP MINNIE-MICKEY was written along the side of the canoe, with an arrow pointing off to the right. Slowly Michael, Dwight and Andy looked around, all three of them taking in the fact that this sign seemed to be attracting an audience whose average age was seven (not including the harried parents accompanying the children, of course). They said nothing for a moment.
“Does this look gay to you guys, too?” Michael finally muttered out of the side of his mouth, eyeing the camera.
“Really gay,” Andy answered in similar fashion.
“Completely homosexual,” Dwight added, not to be outdone, although his face betrayed the fact that he wasn’t sure he agreed with that assessment.
Michael spun on his heel. “All right, then – off to something…else!” he directed, starting first to head right, then swerving left instead. Andy and Dwight dutifully trailed at his heels.
Angela heaved an aggravated sigh and shook her head at the camera. “Stop!” she shouted forcefully. All three did as she commanded and turned to look at the tiny blonde. “Enough wandering. We are going this way,” she directed with venom, pointing in the opposite direction and tromping off. Michael opened his mouth for a moment, then clamped it shut. Dwight was the first to follow Angela, smiling proudly; next came Andy. Looking like a petulant child, Michael brought up the rear.
----
Angela: (leaning against a wooden railing with arms folded across her chest) In two hours we have already passed the entrances to nine separate attractions, and four of those we’ve passed twice. Enough is enough.
----
Creed was ambling along the Pangani Forest Exploration Trail, a quiet nature walk in the Africa section of the park. When he spotted a Disney employee standing near one of the animal exhibits, he approached him with a smile.
“Can I help you?” Jeff from Casey, Illinois (as his nametag informed), questioned brightly, looking at the camera briefly before smiling at Creed.
“How much is it to camp here for a night, chief?” Creed asked. Jeff’s brow furrowed.
“To camp…here? On the forest trail?” he clarified.
“That’s right.”
“Um…you can’t actually camp here, sir,” Jeff answered haltingly.
“Ah,” Creed replied, nodding.
----
Creed: (smirking) Didn’t say anything about squatting, though.
----
Somehow portions of the two groups managed to meet back up in the queue for the roller coaster Expedition EVEREST. “Yeah, Oscar, it is relatively new,” Judy was explaining, then graced Michael with a bright, if wary, smile. “Hey guys! Fancy meeting you here!”
“Uh, you brought us here,” Dwight pointed out sarcastically.
“I meant here, in this…how was your morning?” Judy asked, verbally changing course.
“Best morning ever,” Michael answered enthusiastically, then calmed down, “you know, at a crappy zoo. How was your morning? Stupid? Thought so,” he answered himself.
“Actually, I think everyone’s had a good time so far…” Judy looked over the employees she had spent the last few hours with for affirmation.
“A really good time,” Pam assured her, smiling. Michael frowned at her.
“Did you get lost?” Angela asked pointedly, glancing at Michael.
“Why would we have gotten lost?” Jim asked in turn, making a face.
“Yeah, we had Judy. And maps,” Kevin said.
“Well aren’t you lucky,” Michael spat, still frowning. There was an awkward silence, then Michael looked at Judy with disdain. “So what is this, some lame carnival ride?”
“Actually, I was just telling these guys that Expedition EVEREST has been called our most intense thrill ride yet,” Judy told him. Michael’s frown melted into a look of shock.
“You destroyed a national landmark like Mount Everest by building a ride through it? Haven’t you seen An Inconvenient Truth?” he asked in outrage.
Judy was rendered speechless, but finally pulled it together enough to look to the two people she had already learned were her best allies. “Not worth it,” Jim ruled quietly, giving both her and the camera a jim. Judy nodded, then shook her head just a little.
“Anyway, what makes this ride so cool – spoiler alert – is that not only is it fun going forwards,” she began, raising an eyebrow for effect, “but it’s even more fun going backwards. ”
Pam blanched. “It goes backwards?” she asked, a distinct quiver in her voice.
----
Jim: (leaning against a wall, a sign for the restroom to his left; he is wearing a worried expression) Pam is…um…she had to make a run for the bathroom. It was not more fun for her going backwards.
(Pam appears at his side, looking a little green; Jim puts an arm around her and she smiles faintly - first up at him, then at the camera. )
Pam: (with forced enthusiasm) I’m okay. It was fun.
Jim: (unable to keep from looking at her lovingly before smiling at the camera) What a trooper.
(Pam smiles more genuinely than someone who is still slightly green should. )
Chapter End Notes:
So there you have it! More DAK (said as its initials, by the way, not "dack"), next chapter. No bonus materials, but I do highly recommend my favorite resource for all things Disney, All Ears, for anyone that may never have travelled to my "homeland," needs a refresher on it, or even if you want to plan an amazing vacation! (I promise I make no money off saying that, nor do I run that site. I'm just obsessed with it. :) )
This story is extremely detailed...I worked hard to achieve that level of depth, because I personally can't stand generic details in stories. But I'm an idiot; who cares what I think? Drop me a review and share your thoughts thus far!
This story is extremely detailed...I worked hard to achieve that level of depth, because I personally can't stand generic details in stories. But I'm an idiot; who cares what I think? Drop me a review and share your thoughts thus far!
