Michael: (standing in front of a sign reading FINDING NEMO: THE MUSICAL) Well, it’s about two o’clock, and Judy (he sneers as he says her name) arranged for us to see the 2:15 performance of this show. Isn’t she talented. (He shakes his head, despite the fact that he hadn’t really asked a question. ) So, I guess we should head in.
(The camera follows Michael as he passes a long line of people waiting to enter the theater.) I love live theater. So invigorating, so live…-ly. Of course comedy is more my forte, but I wouldn’t rule out an opportunity to be on Broadway, should I get discovered…
(He trails off, apparently distracted by the scene in front of him. A young woman in a wheelchair and three people accompanying her are being escorted out of line and into the theater by a smiling Disney employee. Michael trails them as they are shown to a designated disabled seating area toward the back where other guests in wheelchairs and scooters are already sitting. He looks to the camera and appears to be both shocked and angry. ) What the hell…did you see that? I thought we were supposed to be treating everyone equally in this world. They didn’t even have to wait in line, just because she can’t walk? It’s not those other people’s faults their legs work! Wow. That is wrong. Wrong.
(Judy is waving from a row of seats approximately fifty feet away. Michael notices her and groans; mutters) Yeah, thanks dummy. I could’ve found you on my own. (He looks back at the camera, one eyebrow raised. ) I’m going to get to the bottom of this…discrimination.
----
On stage, the brightly colored undersea world of Finding Nemo was being brought to life by puppets and their puppeteers. It was a flashy musical number, and the audience watched in rapt fascination. Suddenly the camera turned and caught Jim attempting to discreetly to put in his earbuds. When he noticed the camera his eyes widened. A second later he shrugged and smiled.
----
Jim: (in front of the same sign Michael had been for his interview; nodding) Yeah, I’ve seen Finding Nemo. It was good. (He cocked his head and pointed. ) Good in that non-musical kind of way.
----
“So the final area we’re going to check out here at DAK is called DinoLand USA,” Judy informed the group as led them down a path. “We have a great attraction here called – appropriately enough – Dinosaur. And it only goes forward, I promise,” she added as an aside to Pam, smiling, and Pam returned the gesture. Michael gave them both an unnoticed dirty look. “Before we ride that, though, we’re going to go to Chester and Hester’s Dino-Rama. It has some of my very favorite theming in this park.”
Ahead of them loomed what could best be described as a giant tourist trap that would have sprouted up around some fossil dig site in Montana. Cartoony carnival rides and a cheesy souvenir shop glared at them, along with a strip of carnival games that seemed to be very interesting to Dwight. “This is your favorite area of the park?” Michael scoffed, glancing at the camera and throwing in a gagging gesture for good measure. Judy shrugged.
“Design-wise? Absolutely.”
“I see what you mean – it’s really kitschy, but it’s supposed to be,” Pam agreed, looking around.
“’Kishy’? What kind of artsy fartsy word is that, Pam? Stop trying to impress your new BFF,” Michael scolded her.
Pam borrowed Jim’s favorite facial expression for a moment.
“Okay, we’ll take a half hour or so at the Dino-Rama, then meet back up here? Sound good?” Judy asked. The Scranton branch agreed and wandered off to explore. Michael approached Judy.
“Look, don’t let this go to your head, but I have a question,” he said, crossing his arms.
“I will try my hardest not to let it,” she guaranteed him. “Fire away.”
“When I was coming in for the Finding Nemo thing, I saw this lady in a wheelchair and her friends jump out of line and get into the theater in front of everyone else.”
Judy studied him. “They cut the line?” she attempted to clarify.
Michael stuttered a moment. “Not…quite,” he finally answered.
“Were they accompanied by one of our cast members?”
“Yeeesh,” he admitted after a pause.
“Got it.” There was another hiccup of silence. “What’s your question?”
“How can that be legal? It’s discrimin-…discrit-…discrimantorally unfair.”
Judy did a fair impression of a jim before she looked at Michael. “Well, we like to make sure that all our guests are as comfortable here as possible. In all our theaters and many of our attractions we have special seating sections or adapted ride vehicles that are designed specifically for guests in wheelchairs or other devices, like scooters. If a Disney cast member sees a guest that will need an accommodation they often take them out of line, or direct them through a special line.” Judy smiled brightly. Michael still looked very disturbed, and slightly confused as well.
“That. Is. Terrible,” he ruled in a heavy tone. Judy was understandably stunned by this response.
“In what way?” she brought herself to ask, once she could speak again.
Michael posed as he so often did when he knew he was about to say something brilliant. “Judy, it’s unjustice at its finest. I walk, therefore I wait? It’s…guh, disgusting. We go out of our way in this country to be fair to everyone, and down here wheelchair people get free reign. It’s awful.” He points at her. “Do you know what my close, personal, bewheelchaired friend Billy Merchant and his waitress nurse would think of this?” he pressed her.
Judy stared at Michael, mouth agape. She must have been too overwhelmed to point out she knew neither the bewheelchaired Billy Merchant nor his waitress nurse, because she only stammered, “What?”
Michael enjoyed a meaningful pause. “It’s un-American, Judy. He’d think it was un-American,” he informed her with narrowed eyes. He started to walk away, then pivoted and gave Judy one last look. “And in case you forgot, this is America.” Michael nodded at the camera and left. Judy stood in the same place for a long moment. Finally, she popped off her nametag and slipped her backpack down her shoulders and swung it around to her front. After a minute of searching she retrieved her pack of Marlboro Lights and retreated in the general direction of the nearest smoking area.
----
Judy: (in the smoking area) You hear a lot of strange things working here, but that…? (She takes a long drag off her cigarette. )
----
Dwight stood near the carnival games. He turned to the camera and grinned. “Jackpot,” he said softly, then marched over to where Andy stood talking to Meredith. “Andy, may I see you this instant?”
“Sure.” He puts his hands on his hips. “See away.”
“In private?” Dwight asked firmly, glaring at Meredith. She shrugged and walked away. Once she was out of earshot Dwight mirrored Andy’s pose. “Michael has issued his first challenge.”
“Excellent. I’m ready.” A beat passed. “What is it?”
Dwight pointed. “Ringosaurus,” he informed Andy majestically. They both turned to survey what was essentially a dinosaur-themed ring toss game.
“Let’s do it,” Andy said breezily, then looked around. “Where’s Michael?”
“I already told you, Michael is monitoring us at all times. Trust me.”
----
(Michael is on the Primeval Whirl, a small roller coaster with cars that spin as they zoom around the track. He and Phyllis smile and wave as their car nears the camera, but before it passes out of shot it’s clear Michael’s smile was short-lived. )
Michael: (to Phyllis, loudly) I need your purse, I’m gonna puke!
----
Dwight and Andy had attracted a small crowd as they fiercely continued their attempt to out-toss each other. Dwight studied his targets critically before he took his last throw. The camera panned the mostly Dunder Mifflin-affiliated audience and stopped on Angela, who was bouncing ever so slightly on her toes. She took a deep breath as Dwight brought back his arm…
…and deflated as he missed.
For the thirty-second time.
“It’s still a tie,” Dwight pointed out when Andy let out a cheer. Andy grimaced.
“Ang? Buttercup? I need one more dollar please,” he requested, not able to keep the frustration out of his voice. Angela handed over the bill, then reclaimed her former post near the back of the group. Judy ambled over with Stanley by her side.
“Hey everybody - ready to go?” she asked.
“Not. Yet,” Dwight and Andy replied, loudly and in unison. Judy blinked and remained silent.
After purchasing one more ring each, Andy looked at Dwight.
“Your turn to go first.”
Dwight took a long minute to aim, then heaved his ring.
It clattered to the ground.
He stepped back to allow Andy his turn. His hands were clenched in fists at his side. A check on Angela revealed she had her eyes squeezed shut. Andy let fly his ring, and a moment later a victorious cry sounded. Angela slowly opened her eyes, and they sought Dwight as Andy danced in celebration. Dwight’s sad gaze landed on her for a moment as he let out the breath he had been holding. He held out his hand to Andy. “Congratulations,” he managed through gritted teeth. Andy pumped his opponent’s hand.
“Thank you very much,” he accepted loftily.
“Um, now are we ready?” Judy ventured. When she didn’t get another protest she led the group toward the next ride. Andy and Dwight walked side by side.
“Are we going to be reimbursed? Because that cost, like, thirty five bucks,” Andy said. Dwight glared at him.
“A real man – or number three – would never ask that,” he said fiercely, speeding his pace.
Andy looked concerned for a moment, then smiled and put his arm around Angela. “Did you see me back there?” he asked happily.
“I did,” she answered, in a much different tone than his.
----
Angela: (standing at the entrance to the Dinosaur attraction) It has not been a good day. I followed Michael aimlessly for hours this morning. It’s extremely hot. Now I have to ride a ride that will no doubt contradict directly with Genesis. Nothing good has happened. (Angela listens to a word from off camera; she suddenly looks a little guilty. ) Well of course it was nice to see my…fiancé beat Dwight. From Sales. (Her eyes flit downward. )
----
“I think you guys will really like this one,” Judy promised as they stood in line. “Dinosaur is a thrill ride that takes you 65 million years into the past, to the Cretaceous period.”
Dwight’s snorted. “Clearly impossible.”
Judy shrugged. “Never doubt Disney magic,” she said with a smile.
“Is Disney magic responsible for keeping the head well-preserved? In addition to liquid nitrogen, I mean?” Dwight challenged her.
“…The head?” Judy repeated, eyes wide.
“Walt Disney’s head,” Jim provided helpfully, shoving his hands in his pockets and glancing at the camera.
Judy stared the same way helplessly.
----
Dwight: (at the ride’s exit, looking exhilarated) Do not repeat this to Judy, but I was wrong. Apparently time travel is possible. This ride was vouched for by a pillar of the science community.
(A scene plays from moments earlier. The group is assembled in the queue area. As the lights dimmed a voiceover boomed through the room, and various displays were being explained by none other than Bill Nye the Science Guy. Dwight’s eyes went wide and he gave the camera a look of shock and awe. )
Dwight: If William Nye is lending his voice to this project, who am I to argue?
----
Jim: (standing in the same place Dwight had, delight evident on his face and in his voice) He thought that was real? Really? (Jim takes a moment to savor that fact. ) Thank you. My good day just got better.
----
As the group waited on the next bus, Judy looked over her charges. “So? Did we like Disney’s Animal Kingdom?” Her answer was a hearty murmur of agreement.
“Eh,” Michael offered, making a face.
“Excellent!” she replied, pointedly ignoring his answer. “So we’ll be spending the rest of the night at Downtown Disney and Pleasure Island. Downtown Disney is our own personal shopping district, with all sorts of cool stores and boutiques, including the massive World of Disney store. Pleasure Island is the corner of Walt Disney World that’s geared more toward adults, with quite a few really neat nightclubs.”
“Bars?” Meredith asked, hope shining in her eyes. Judy laughed.
“You got it.”
Meredith appeared to send a quick thank you heaven-ward.
“Now, there are lots of dinner options in the complex, but I think you guys already have reservations…?” Judy trailed off. Pam sighed.
“Yes, we do.”
----
Pam: (leaning against a railing at the bus stop) Disney’s providing us with one meal a day, and that’s our breakfast at the hotel. Michael asked me to make reservations for us to have a group dinner every night. Downtown Disney had a bunch of cool options to choose from: a Cuban café, one of Wolfgang Puck’s restaurants, a seafood restaurant that’s on an old riverboat… (Pam purses her lips. ) We will be eating at Planet Hollywood. (A pause. ) That was the last time I let Michael pick where we’d eat.
----
Jim: (about to board the bus, wearing a conspiratorial grin) They will be eating at Planet Hollywood. I have other plans for Pam and I. Very reminiscent of our first date.
(Dwight’s head pops into the shot. )
Dwight: Get on the bus.
(Jim raises his eyebrows and turns to climb aboard. )
Author's Chapter Notes:
Let's finish off our day at Animal Kingdom, shall we?
Chapter End Notes:
Several references are made in this tale to my story The Date, starting with next chapter (I kind of establish my own back story, which I believe is just a fancy way of saying I live in my own head...which is so, so sad and has more psychological implications than I care to ponder). You won't be lost if you haven't read it, but if you want to be totally in-the-know, check it out. It's not half bad. :)
