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Story Notes:

This was the challenge:

Use the quote and write a story around it. Any characters, any time frame. (Less than 700 words would be preferred): "Yes, it’s me. And no, I’m not dead."

Dunder Mifflin, this is – Oh, my God.” Pam stared in shock at the man who had just entered the office. 

“Hey, Pam,” Toby said. He smiled shyly. He had purposefully not called before coming, just to see what reaction he would get. His year in Costa Rica had been amazing. He was tanned, fit, and he knew the relaxed lifestyle had taken years off his face and the curve of his shoulders. Being completely cut off from Dunder Mifflin had been the best decision he’d ever made.

“One moment please,” Pam said vaguely, hanging up the phone. “Toby?” Her voice, barely above a whisper, was strained, and held more of a question than one might expect after only a year. Suddenly, Toby realized that Pam didn’t look impressed or even surprised. She looked like she was seeing a ghost.

“Um, yeah. What-“

“OH MY GOD, TOBY!! “ Toby had barely registered Kelly’s piercing shriek when she threw herself onto him. “We thought you were- I mean, Michael said that- Oh, you’re OK!”  

“Yeah, I’m fine, what-“

“Toby? Wow, man it’s good to see you. Are you all right?” Oscar, followed by Kevin and Phyllis, had just emerged from the break room to see what Kelly was screaming about.

“I thought you were in a plane crash,” Kevin said with his typical confusion. “Didn’t Michael say Toby was in a plane crash?”

Toby tried to extricate himself from Kelly’s clinging embrace. “A plane crash? No, I-“

“He definitely said that you were dead, Toby,” Phyllis interjected.

“Toby?” Dwight had just hung up his phone, and looked at Toby suspiciously. Reaching for his employee handbook, he said, “I do not believe you are allowed on company premises, being a former employee and also deceased.”

“I’m not-“

“Wow. Toby?” Jim entered the office behind Toby and moved naturally to Pam’s side, his eyebrows high with surprise and contracted with confusion.  

“Yes, it’s me. And no, I’m not dead!”

“Who’s not dea- oh, it’s you.” Michael leaned out of his office with a grimace.

By now, all of the office was clustered around. The previous year seemed to have disappeared, as all of the frustration, confusion, and helpless resignation of Toby’s old life crashed back down upon him. “Hi, Michael. Um, did you – did you tell people I died?”

“Yeah, Michael, why did you tell us Toby was in a plane crash?” Pam asked. Her voice was more natural now, more like what he remembered.  

Michael looked around defensively as his assembled employees murmured agreement with Pam’s question, and then quieted down for his answer. “I did not- I mean.” He sighed and started over again. “I said I’d heard there was a plane crash, and I speculated about what if, maybe, everyone died in it including Toby. Geez, you guys, did you take that literally?”

“Michael, we sent his kid a sympathy card. Which you signed,” Oscar said wearily.

Meredith nodded vigorously. “Yeah. And we all chipped in money to send flowers to the funeral. I can’t afford to send flowers to people who aren’t dead, Michael!”

“Where did you send the flowers to?” Toby wondered.

It was Pam who answered. “I couldn’t figure out where the funeral was,” she said, with a look of annoyance at Michael,” so in lieu of flowers I donated the money to a homeless shelter in your name.”

Creed clapped him on the shoulder. “You bought some really good soup, man,” he said.

“Well, that makes it OK, then,” Jim said quietly. Toby felt a familiar stab of emotion as he heard Pam giggle.

Michael raised his voice. “OK, well, so, he’s not dead, and everybody should get back to work. Great that you’re alive. I guess.” He disappeared back into his office and shut the door.

The next half hour was the most pleasant Toby had ever spent in the Dunder Mifflin office. Everyone was very interested in where he had been and what he had been doing, and he got several hugs and handshakes as people caught up with him and then drifted back to work.

He wondered fleetingly if they would have been so glad to see him if they hadn’t thought he’d died.

Chapter End Notes:
I am in no way affiliated with NBC, The Office, or any of its writers or actors. The characters and settings belong to NBC and the producers and writers of The Office and no money is being made from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.


nqllisi is the author of 87 other stories.



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