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Author's Chapter Notes:

Time to play "Where's Waldo?", 5 elements style - there are 5 chapters with one element per chapter.  Spoilers through "Gay Witch Hunt" and lots of speculation for the rest of season three.

I hope you enjoy it.  This was a lot of fun to write! 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

“Message in a Bottle”

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Kevin would never forget the day when he became a bona fide drummer.

For his eighteenth birthday, his parents bought a second-hand drum kit from a garage sale. However, Mrs. Malone set one condition for the drums: in order to play, her son had to study accounting when he started college in the fall. Why not? If the music career didn’t work out (which of course it would!), at least he had something to fall back on.

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The members of Scrantonicity were upset when their gig for Pam Beesly and Roy Anderson’s wedding reception was cancelled. On the night of the ill-fated gig that didn’t happen, they sat around, drinking cheap beer and getting stoned. Maybe they should just give up on music after all. Well, at least, they still got paid.

The next day, however, Danny the bassist had a realization. The band couldn’t let this one gig ruin their chance for success and domination on the music scene. Instead, they should work even harder. There would be other weddings, hell, maybe even a bar mitzvah or two. They had to band together (pun intended) and provide the rock and roll soundtrack for Scranton, P.A. The rest of the summer was spent rehearsing new material and designing band fliers.

Their first big performance occurred in late August for the Scranton High School ten year reunion. It was the perfect gig. The band kicked ass, so everyone said. Roy was there, sans Pam, and came up to Kevin after the first set, as he stood under the “Welcome Back, Scranton High’s Class of 1996” banner.

“Dude, that was so freaking good.” Roy was obviously drunk and looked like shit. He had gained a lot of weight and probably hadn’t shaved all summer. According to the gossip circulating through the office, Roy had been on a bender since the beginning of June and was on the verge of losing his job at Dunder-Mifflin.

“Thanks, man,” Kevin enthused as he discreetly caught the bottle of beer that almost fell out of Roy’s hand.

Roy suddenly lost his balance and collapsed against Kevin’s arm, almost knocking off the drummer’s favorite hat. “I- wish- you guys- could- have played- my- wedding. It- would- have been- awesome,” he choked out, tears streaming down his bloated face and disheveled beard.

Kevin patted him awkwardly on the shoulder. “It’s OK, buddy. It’s OK.”

The next Monday, Kevin received several reprimands from Angela because he was drumming on his desk, usually in coordinating beats of six and nine. He didn’t care. The ten reunion gig was awesome. They received three encores. Seriously, could life be any better?

Besides the thrill of thinking back on his performance, Kevin was having a fairly average work day. The office was buzzing around the fact that Roy had been arrested for a DUI after the reunion because he had crashed a truck into an electrical pole. Someone had posted the mug shot online and now it served as his screensaver, just to irk Angela.

He glanced over at Pam, who was quietly typing on her keyboard. She looked sad. Though she said that she was fine, she always looked glum these days. Kevin wasn’t sure if it was because of her cancelled wedding or because Jim was gone. He had heard a rumor that Jim and Pam had kissed in the office during casino night, but Kelly wasn’t the most reliable source of information. Still, he couldn’t help but giggle every time he imagined them possibly going at it against Jim’s desk.

After finishing a spreadsheet, he recounted the gig to Oscar.

“Dude, it was-” Kevin was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. In a faux British accent, he answered, “Hullo, Kevin Malone speaketh.”

“Kevin, this is Jeff Banks from Pete ‘n Repeat Records. I heard your band play this weekend at the Scranton High class of ’96 reunion. You guys rocked!”

“Thanks, man!” Kevin couldn’t help but grin.

“Anyway, I was interested in discussing a possible tour for your band. What do you think?”

Kevin gasped, “Uh, are you signing us? ’Cause that would be sooo sweet.”

“Well, not exactly. We’re interested in financially providing a tour for you guys. If the tour is successful, then we can talk about a record deal. What do you say?”

“Dude, yes. Oh, shoot! I’m going to have to talk to the rest of the band first.” Jeff agreed and promised to call back in a couple of days.

First his jaw dropped at the prospect of getting to playing music, for real. Then he smirked at the camera, “Groupies! Hehe.”


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