There’s something deeply liberating in the way that she can say his name without cringing.
But then she’s sitting there, in that god-forsaken seat in that god-forsaken office and she can’t help but drift into thinking of him again.
He stands, she stops breathing. He opens his mouth and hers drops. He begins to speak and she falls silent.
There’s a whole world right past the glow of the sun in his auburn irises. For the first time in a long time, he’s looking right into her eyes. And she doesn’t care if it’s unintentional, or if it is because he is presenting to the office – all that matters is how tangible he appeared, his deep indigo shirt fitted and his jeans a dark, sultry fade. And when she scares away the butterflies she realizes how gorgeous his eyes could be if they were on hers more often then not. They are rhythm and blues in a darker hue against the planes of her rosy heart. They are clear and glow like nothing she has ever known and it makes no sense to her.
He sits, she stops breathing. He closes his mouth and hers seals. He doesn’t speak but when he does again, two minutes and fifty-seven seconds later, she falls silent.
Then there’s a pinch and how can this end when it’s just begun and the clichéd I’m going to get over him come about. But she feels lighter as her days narrow to a mere two hours because finally she can rid herself of this burden people like to call a “crush.” Really, for the past she-doesn’t-know-how-many-days, she’s been crushed, continually dreaming up, up, up until she can’t really breathe anymore to down, down, down where she realizes that she is just stupid.
And no matter how much she convinces herself that this will be good for her – this will be good for everyone involved – she knows deep down in the glow of his auburn irises that she’s only giving up because she’s sick of looking down. And maybe, in the perfect world she’s been delusional about, the ones she scans horoscopes for in search for a clue as to if it exists, she will get some sort of prince charming and be content, not closing her eyes and pretending it was the other Price Charming.
But really, no matter how you slice it, she’s saying goodbye because it’s the only word she has left.
All else failed.
Author's Chapter Notes:
"The firsts go away – first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones."
Chapter End Notes:
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