So this is what it feels like. Huh.
Dad. Father.
In less than a year, that’s going to be me. In less than a year, Pam and I are going to have this new little person to take care of. To raise. To help become someone. I don’t feel like a dad yet, and I know I won’t for a while, but Pam is already clearly a mom. Seeing as how this is already affecting her physically, it’s easy to see how she can feel this way. Me on the other hand, I know it’ll take a while to get there.
One night a few years ago Pete, Tom and I were sitting around smoking cigars on the back porch celebrating the birth of my parents’ first grandchild. Tom asked Dad when he felt like he was really a father, because Tom was worried that he’d never be good enough at it. Heavy conversation for a bunch of guys, but that’s just how it happened to go. Dad said he was the same way; when Mom first told him she was pregnant, he had no idea what to do. Here his wife, the love of his life, was going through all these changes and he was just sitting around, being the same old guy he always was. He was happy, sure, but it hadn’t really sunk in yet that their lives were going to be very different from that point on. But he said the moment he first held Tom, that’s when he knew. He was sitting there in the hospital room with Mom, holding his first child, first son, and he’d never loved anything so much in his whole life.
I can’t wait for that feeling. And that fact that this is all happening with Pam, it’s indescribable. I was at a loss for words for the first time in my life when the doctor told us. Neither of us had any idea. But now that this is the path we’re on, I can’t wait. This is going to be the most amazing thing we’ve ever done.
And I am scared out of my mind.
Story Notes:
A/N: Since I don’t know if Pete is the older one or Tom is (has this ever been mentioned?), I just picked one. I think Tom is usually mentioned first but I could just be crazy, so I went with the assumption that he was the oldest, then Pete, then Jim.
Chapter End Notes:
No beta, just a quick little thing to help me get rid of that "OMG!" energy over the finale. I don't own these characters or the show but I did order a 'Scranton' t-shirt, so I will own that soon.
IThinkWeBrokeHisBrain is the author of 10 other stories.
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