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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is my first attempt at Office fanfic. Hope you enjoy it. There will probably be one chapter for each episode of season 3.

“I can’t.”

Just hearing those words broke his heart. He suddenly wished he were anywhere else. But what else could he have done? He had to let her know how he felt before it was too late.

He thought his heart could never hurt more than it did in that moment. He was proved wrong later that night, when she kissed him back only to let him go for good.

“I think we’re just drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.” Jim smiled, knowing the answer to his next question. “Are you drunk?”

Jim should have known then, hearing her make excuses, but he let himself hold out hope. He leaned in to kiss her again, but she pulled back. She rejected him again.

“Jim.”

He knew it was over. “You’re still going to marry him, aren’t you?”

Why did he even say it? He knew from her “can’t”s and pulling away. He knew because of every time she had defended Roy’s crappy treatment of her. He knew, but he wouldn’t let himself believe it. But that look on her face told him everything he needed to know.

He turned and walked away quickly. She had seen him cry enough tonight. He wouldn’t let her see the next batch of tears that was already threatening to fall.

He sat in his car for five minutes, but she never came to stop him. So this was really it. It was over. His heart shattered again because he knew. He didn’t have the strength to keep fighting for her. And giving up was what really killed him. He decided to stop by the liquor store on the way home. He needed a Pam-cure.

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“I can’t.”

Just saying those words to him broke her heart. She suddenly wished she were anywhere else. But what else could she say? What else was there to say?

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t just be your friend. I can’t have sex with you and pretend it means nothing to me.”

He looked at her with pity and sighed, “I thought we were happy. You date other men. I date other women. You agreed to this, Karen. And you’re one of my best friends. What more do you want from me?”

Karen looked deep into his eyes and put a hand lightly on his chest. “I don’t wanna do that anymore. I wanna be more than that. I’m in love with you.”

He took her hand, squeezed it comfortingly, and dropped it by her side. “I can’t do that. I’m sorry, Kar.”

She nodded and blinked back tears.

“I really care about you, Karen. We’ll always be friends.”

“Don’t. Don’t do that. I can’t be just your friend anymore.” She turned and walked away quickly. There was no way she would let Marten see her cry.

She sat in her car for a few minutes, but he never came to find her. He didn’t come to tell her he was wrong and he loved her and he wanted her to be his. So this was really it. Her heart broke and she finally let the tears fall. She didn’t have the strength to go back to what they had been. And she didn’t have the patience to wait for him to change. And realizing that was what really killed her. She reached for her phone to call her girlfriends. She wanted to go to a bar and vent before going home. She needed a Marten-cure.

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Karen sat in a booth nursing her beer and trying to let the alcohol and her friends drown out thoughts of Marten’s skin on hers. It wasn’t working.

“Marten is just a commitment phobic ass,” said Lucy in an attempt to cheer up Karen.

“Yeah, but I knew that. I thought I could be happy being his friend and sex toy, but I fell in love with him. That makes me the idiot.” Karen blinked back tears and finished off her first beer.

“Come on Karen, we’re your friends. It is our job to say everything is his fault,” Becca chimed in.

“Well, its not working,” Karen replied, stealing a beer from Lucy. “When did I become the woman who falls apart over a man? How am I going to survive work on Monday? What if he ignores me and acts like I’m some random coworker? Or worse, if he looks at me with pity and disdain like every other bimbo who wants to marry him after a one night stand?”

“So don’t let him,” said Allie, the always sensible one, “Don’t act like you put your life on hold until he grows up and gets over his issues. Focus on your career for awhile.”

Karen rolled her eyes. “My career? That’ll be less depressing. You do remember that I sell paper, right?”

“Well, do something about it, Kar,” Allie said as if it was obvious. “You have to focus on the future and forget about the past. Focus on getting a new job or moving up in the company. You need to make a five-year plan and stick to it. And this plan better not include Marten!”

Karen nodded slowly. “A plan for the future. I like it. My life shouldn’t be all about a man.”

Karen gulped down the rest of her beer and started looking around for a waitress. Tomorrow she would start focusing on the future. She would let her career be a cure for her love life. Tonight, though, she just wanted to get drunk and sleep with the first man she found who didn’t remind her of loves past. The anti-Marten.

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Jim sat on his couch nursing a beer and staring at the television, trying to drown out thoughts of Pam’s lips on his. It wasn’t working.

Mark walked into the room and plopped down on the couch. “Hey, dude. How was the casino party? Please tell me you took all of Dwight’s money.” Mark looked over at Jim and frowned, “Oh, you look like shit. What happened?”

“I can’t happened,” Jim slurred, “and using alcohol as an excuse and then I walked out and she just let me. You know, she complains about him all the time, but its all just talk. She likes being miserable. And she must be blind if she didn’t know how I…I misinterpreted? She thinks I’ll just wait around for her forever and she can have me to talk to and laugh with and still have him. She’ll never leave him. I knew that and I let myself hope that it could be…”

Jim stared into space, lost in thought. Mark sighed.

“So, this is about Pam. What did she do exactly?”

Jim closed his eyes and took a swig of beer before answering. “I told her I love her. I kissed her. And she just wants Roy.” Jim slammed his beer down and picked up a new one. “Fucking Roy.”

Mark nodded slowly and picked up a beer of his own. Dealing with sullen Jim required a buzz.

“Well, at least now you know,” reasoned Mark. “Maybe you can finally move on.”

“But I love her, man. I fucking love her so much. How am I going to survive work on Monday? I can’t move on if I have to look at her wearing his fucking ring on her fucking finger every fucking day.”

“Maybe you should start looking for another job.”

“I’ve been thinking of transferring for a while now. Oh! Where’s my phone? I have to call Jan! I have to tell her I want to take the Stamford job! I have to move there now! Now Mark.”

Mark raised an eyebrow, “You were thinking of moving and didn’t tell me?” Jim sipped his beer sheepishly. “Ok, not the point. I think you should wait and call your boss when you are less, uh, wasted. And do you really want to transfer to another branch of Dunder Mifflin? You could probably find a job at a company you don’t hate.”

Jim’s eyes widened, “No, Mark. I can’t. I can’t leave Dunder Mifflin, man. I love her. I have to leave her, but I can’t leave her leave her, you know?”

“You’re going to make a career of selling paper, which you hate, in order to stay connected in some imaginary way to a married woman you’re trying to forget? Maybe you shouldn’t make decisions when your logic is altered by alcohol.”

Jim shook his head, “You just don’t get it. You’ve never been in love with Pam.”

Mark laughed, “This is true.”

Jim grabbed paper and a pen from the table beside him and made a list:

1. Call Jan.

2. Find apartment. Pack and leave.

3. Think about selling paper. Don’t think about Pam.

4. Find the anti-Pam. Really don’t think about Pam.

Jim nodded thoughtfully. Tomorrow he would focus on his plans for the future. He would let his career be a cure for his lack of a love life. Tonight, though, he just wanted to drink and kick Mark’s ass in Halo. That was one thing he’d never done with Pam.

Chapter End Notes:
Most chapters will just focus on Karen, but I wanted to show Jim's life in the first chapter as a parallel to Karen's situation. Let me know what you think so far.

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