Improving His Karma
by Steph
Summary: Toby at the wedding.
Rating PG-13 for language
Spoilers: For Niagara and the deleted scene in Goodbye Toby where he mentions his sister with issues.
A/N: So after I wrote this, I found out that there are pictures of Toby dancing in the aisle with everyone else that got cut from the episode. For the sake of the fic, I'm just going to pretend that that didn't happen.
And finally, a big thank you to moony88 for betaing this little gem. I do appreciate it.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
------
Meredith asked if she could carpool with him to the wedding. Well actually she pounded on his car window as he was heading out, saying that she was supposed to ride with Phyllis and Bob Vance, but they were being all lovey-dovey in the car and the thought of dealing with that was making her puke and she really wanted to drive herself but there were some little issues with her license and she had no patience for those idiots in the Scranton police force who had it out for her.
“Um...” Toby said, and she took the pause as a yes so she got in the passenger seat and shoved her suitcase in the back.
Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, he thought. It would be a long drive and it was nice to have some company. Five hours of just listening to his own thoughts could be dangerous.
“God,” Meredith said not ten minutes into the drive. “Your taste in music blows.”
It was something his ex-wife used to say (although not necessarily using the same phrasing) and for a second he remembered years ago a trip they took to visit her parents. He remembered Cathy sitting next to him, leaning forward in an attempt to find a decent radio station, Sasha in the back in her car seat, babbling happy nonsense. He smiled to himself, reminiscing. He could almost imagine that he was on that same trip, that he was younger and happier, surrounded by people he loved.
But his ex-wife never reeked of cigar smoke and had never stuck her head out the window yelling at a driver in front of them to “get your fucking head out of your ass and just fucking drive.”
It was going to be a long five hours.
--
It was a good question. Why was he constantly nice to Michael, offering him things like the spare bed in his hotel room, knowing he would receive only scorn and insults in return?
Well there were a few reasons. One was because, deep down, he was a nice guy. A bit of a mensch even. So when he had entered the hotel to check in (leaving Meredith outside to leer at a hot bellboy) and heard Michael didn’t have anywhere to sleep, it never occurred to him not to offer his room.
Another reason was that he figured it might help his karma. He hadn’t been doing too well the last few years and knew he had done a lot of screwing up when it came to interpersonal relationships. So maybe the fact that he was being nice to someone who wasn’t nice back would even things out just a little bit.
The final reason he could give was, honestly, he knew Michael would say no to his offer. He felt like he could offer Michael anything and he wouldn’t have to worry about Michael accepting. Here’s $1,000, Michael, but I can only give it to you after a night of hanging out with me. Here’s a new car, all paid up, but I can only give it to you if we carpool to work everyday. Here’s the number of an attractive woman, but she happens to be my sister.
Toby grinned just a bit at that idea. His sister Shannon was tough, tougher than he certainly was, and wouldn’t take any kind of crap from Michael.
His grin faded as he imagined Michael and Shannon meeting, hitting it off and then actually dating. After all he had always thought of Jan as tough too and look what happened between her and Michael. Michael liked tough. And Shannon was kind of like Jan with a criminal record. With Toby’s luck, that would appeal to Michael.
And then he would see Michael at every family event and have to hear Shannon talk about him and if they got married Michael would be his brother-in-law and Sasha’s uncle and it was just too horrible of an idea to entertain any longer.
He couldn’t have anything like that happening so he made a mental note to never invite Shannon to any work function ever, never to even talk about her in front of Michael.
He would need to think of other ways to improve his karma. This was too risky to even joke about.
--
The thing was that even now sometimes his neck still hurt. Sometimes if he straightened up too quickly after being hunched over in front of his computer for too long or if he slept in an awkward position he would feel stiff and achy and it would take a few aspirin and a hot shower before he felt almost right again. The doctor told him that was normal; he had suffered from a traumatic injury.
So he was ready to use his sore neck as an excuse if anyone asked him why he didn’t join his coworkers in a dance down the aisle at the wedding. People would accept that especially if he followed it with a quick rub to the back of his neck and a pained expression on his face which came pretty naturally for him.
But that wasn’t the actual reason he didn’t dance with everyone else. The actual reason was that he didn’t know anything about it. It had been (at least partly) Michael’s idea and if he hadn’t organized everything then he at least had some part in telling all the coworkers about it. And since it had been Michael’s doing, Toby had once again been excluded.
Erin, who had only worked at Dunder Mifflin for a few months, had been included. Bob Vance didn’t even work there and he was dancing, having a grand old time. Even Stanley’s new mistress, who people didn’t even like on the basis of her being his mistress and not being Terri, was boogying down.
He leaned forward in his seat, hand already heading toward the back of his neck, just in case someone, incensed that Toby wasn’t there with everyone else, demanded a reason why he was still sitting in his seat. On the off chance someone felt the need to speak up on Toby’s behalf, a sore neck sounded less pathetic than total exclusion. Well, slightly less pathetic.
Who was he kidding though? Hadn’t he learned yet that that wasn’t going to happen?
No one was going to speak up for him. No one cared that he wasn’t dancing with everyone else, wasn’t having fun with the rest of them.
He took his hand away from the back of his neck, folded both hands in his lap, and stared straight ahead. As he watched the glowing couple make their happiness official, he tried not to think about his own nuptials a long time ago, and how excited he felt that day, gazing at his bride-to-be, believing completely in till death do them part.
--
He was at the bar, getting another drink as the reception was winding down. It was a nice party and truly he was happy for Pam and Jim. Oh he knew that it didn’t come across, not when he was making stupid, insensitive comments about them maybe not getting married that made him cringe after he had a moment to think about the crap that spewed out of his mouth.
He thought again about his misbehavior over the last few years and he wondered how he had gotten so far away from the way he used to be. From the way he really was. No wonder Pam wanted nothing to do with him. No wonder Jim hated him.
No wonder Michael treated him the way he did. No wonder Cathy divorced him so many years ago.
On his second strong drink now, he considered that maybe it wasn’t so much Pam herself that he was attracted to as it was what she could represent. Love, happiness, a reason to get up in the morning. Pam was beautiful and sweet to him and it was just unfortunate for everyone that he had it in his head that she was the one for him when anyone with eyes, ears, and half a brain could see that she only wanted Jim, would only be as happy as she deserved with Jim.
She certainly wouldn’t be happy with him: older, divorced, depressed.
“Hi Toby!” Kelly said as she sat down next to him. “What’s up? This wedding is so much fun, huh? Dancing down the aisle was awesome, right?”
“Kelly,” he said. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk right now, but still he managed a tight smile at her.
Kelly stared at him. Stared at him long enough for him to wonder about food on his face or a kick me sign taped to his forehead. “What?” he finally asked.
She giggled, leaned in and then she was kissing him. The hell? She was drunk, that was the only explanation he could think of. And he must have been a little affected by his drinks too, because he wasn’t pushing her away as he should have, was instead, after a moment of disbelief, kissing her too and it was nice to be kissed and her lips were so soft and it was also good to know he wasn’t completely dead inside as he sometimes suspected and feared.
She grinned at him when she broke away and turned behind them and yelled, “See! I told you that other guys found me hot and wanted to kiss me! And now you’re probably jealous, huh?”
“I’m not,” another familiar bored-sounding voice said. “Really, Kelly, you can be so juvenile sometimes.”
“I can be juvenile?” Kelly screeched without giving Toby a second look. “Who was it who called me last night because he heard some loud noise outside his hotel room? God, you’re such a baby. How did you ever survive in New York?”
Toby turned back to the bartender and tapped his glass. Another drink, preferably this time with a drain cleaner chaser.
He told himself that he would be leaving tomorrow. He told himself that it could be worse; he could be dealing with an injured scrotum right now on top of everything else.
Surprisingly, that wasn’t much consolation and once he downed his third drink he decided to call it a night and head back to his hotel room.
--
Back in his hotel room he drank some water, undressed and got into bed.
He closed his eyes and could just start to feel himself drifting off when he heard it. First it was quiet, just a bit of thumping, then more, louder thumping, some creaking and finally moaning.
Lots and lots of moaning.
Of course.
He placed a pillow over his head. It didn’t do much and as the cries and moans got more and more frenzied he wondered if the amorous couple happened to include a coworker or two of his.
He pressed the pillow down harder and figured that with his luck they were both his coworkers and it would be weird and awkward at work and perhaps he’d have to sit down with this person or that and have a little talk that would mortify all involved. Or maybe there would be a new happy couple to register when they all got back to work.
He tried not to think about that, just as he tried not to think about his own wedding night so long ago, just as he tried not to think about not being allowed to dance with everyone else, or Kelly at the bar, or Michael’s earlier comment about how Toby would be sleeping alone for the rest of his life. Which they both knew was probably true.
Instead he thought about how he’d leave early tomorrow morning, skipping the planned brunch with his coworkers, and head straight home. He would take Sasha out to lunch at her favorite restaurant and then maybe they’d go to the movies after that.
That was what he was thinking of when the moaning started up again. That and feeling just a little bit grateful that Michael hadn’t taken him up on his earlier offer to share a room. The snickering and giggling at the moaning (followed no doubt by more insults about Toby’s lack of a love and sex life) would have been too much for him to take.
But he was still a decent person and hoped that wherever Michael was sleeping tonight, he was having a better night than Toby was.
Which probably wouldn’t be too difficult.
The end
Sitemap | Terms of Service | Submission Rules | FAQs | Disclaimer | Donate | Contact Us |
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali