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Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter written by Deedldee with editing, revisions, critiques and praise by pamelamorganhalpert. The story has been in the works since about October - we've planned for a while! All six chapters are written, but we'll stagger the posting a little - you can't have too much of a good thing (or so we hope)!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 1 - Christmas 2004

“Pam, the world wants to know what you will do with that fine cat magnet you got from your secret Santa.” Jim asked, looking at her with his eyes wide almost mockingly as they stood at together at reception.

“Hah! I dunno, probably just put it on the refrigerator and use it to hold the grocery list, or Roy will throw it out. Either or. Are you excited for your free karate lesson with your instructor Dwight?” She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned mischievously at Jim.

“Oh you know it. Seriously though, I’m pretty sure I’m never ever going to go anywhere near Dwight if it’s not work related. I’m almost positive.” He said, emphasizing almost to drive his point home.

“Aw come on, you should go! Then you could tell me all about what he’s like when he’s not kissing up to Michael, and if he wears a mustard colored karate robe.” She said, trying to stifle a giggle.

“Oh man. You’re right it would be interesting to see what he’s like outside of work. I’ll consider it on one condition, you have to go with me and watch, be my cheerleader. Plus I’m sure I would never be able to do the experience any justice just by telling you about it. I’m sure if I do go, it’d be something you have to see with your own eyes.” He said, hoping he sounded nonchalant.

“OK, I’ll be there. Let’s make that our next monthly Saturday outing!” She said, almost giddily.

“You have yourself a deal there Pam.” He said, again hoping to pare down his excitement at getting to spend time with Pam outside of work.

“OK” she put out her and they shook on it and make if official.

“So, what are your plans for this Christmas?” He asked, trying to change the subject and not think about how soft her hand felt.

“Oh, pretty much the same thing as last year. Go to Roy’s parent’s house. Help out his mom with dinner while the guys all watch football and drink beer all day. What about you?” She had to stop herself from sounding exacerbated as she envisioned another holiday of serving the men on hand and foot.

“I’m going to my parent’s house. The usual, endure torture from Tom and Pete. And get a lecture from my mom and grandmother about why I never bring a date with me to Christmas dinner.” He rolled his eyes at the thought of a full day with intrusive relatives.

“Really? I find it hard to believe that you haven’t brought a date to Christmas dinner.” She said pointedly, trying to figure out why the fact that he wasn’t bringing a girl to Christmas dinner made her feel relieved.

“I don’t know, it just… I feel like if I’m not completely certain that they’re not going to be around the next year then what’s the point? Then I’ll just get another lecture from my mom about bringing different girls to dinner each year. You know how it goes. Parents always have something to say.” As he finished he broke eye contact with Pam and stared at his feet, trying to hide his embarrassment at what he just admitted.

“Aw! Hey maybe next year things will be different.” She said, patting his bicep.

“Yeah, we’ll see. I guess I need to get out more, huh?” He said, trying to lighten his mood with a soft chuckle.

“You should do that. But don’t forget about our monthly Saturday afternoon outings. I think this time we should see a movie and grab lunch. And I can give you some more stick shift lessons. Oh, and now we have to figure out a time to get you to a Karate lesson with Dwight!” She said, feeling a flutter in her stomach at the mention of their next Saturday afternoon together.

“That sounds great, we should definitely set it up after the holiday.” Jim said, as he and Pam grinned at each other for longer than a moment, until Jim heard Roy coming from the kitchen. Jim recovered, and quickly looked at his watch.

“Hey Pam, I have to run, Tom needed me to help him with some Christmas stuff. Talk to you after the break. Hope you guys have a safe trip home in that snow.” He said, as he gathered his bag and coat and headed for the door.

“OK. You too, be safe. See you next week. Merry Christmas Jim.” She smiled and waved.

“Merry Christmas Pam.” He replied as he put his hands in his pockets and walked towards the elevator, wishing he could instead turn around and give her at least a hug. But Roy probably wouldn’t be OK with that.


Jim

What is it about this girl that I can’t stop myself from over-sharing details about my life? What in the world was I thinking telling her I don’t bring anyone to Christmas dinner? Now she must think I’m such a pathetic loser! Hey brain, can you and mouth get it together? Stop making me look like a fool in front of this girl! She’s engaged to be married to someone who’s not me!

I seriously need to have my head examined. Pam is just a girl I work with. That’s all, just a girl from work who happens to be my friend. She’s just someone who makes me laugh and makes working in that office a lot easier to deal with. We’re just friends. I need to stop telling her details about my personal life like I just did. I seriously need to get out and start dating someone, no matter how much I wish to every God out there that I could just go out on one real date with Pam. Just…OK stop that train of thought right now! That’s it. This year’s resolution is going to be to find someone to date. It doesn’t matter who. Yes it does. No it doesn’t. UGH! OK. Get it together Halpert.

There was a time when I used to look forward to Christmas. It’d just be me, Tom, Pete, Larissa, and our parents. I’d get up super early on Christmas morning, wake up everyone in the house, and then go run to open presents. Then we’d have breakfast together and spend the day going over our gifts, putting together things that needed to be assembled. Then after dinner we would all watch Christmas movies and drink hot chocolate. It sounds so kitschy and too good to be true, but that’s really how it was every year when I was a kid.

Now things are different. It’s still fun to be with my family but now my brothers are married and have kids and when we all are together at my parents house, I just feel like I’m watching from the sidelines every year waiting for my turn to have my own family included in the mayhem that Christmas day has turned into now. What would it be like to see the wonder in my own child’s eye during the holidays? What would it feel like to have my girlfriend sitting next to me at the dinner table with my family, joking and laughing and having a good time? I’m so not in the mood this year. I’m not looking forward to my mom asking me all about my social life, if I’m dating anyone, why I’m never dating anyone. Not in the mood to have Tom and Pete tell me about how easy I have it because I’m single. I’m pretty sure I’d trade places with them in a second.

I don’t think I’d ever actually tell my mom about Pam, I don’t think anyone in my family really needs to know how ridiculously desperate I am for her to be not engaged to that guy who treats her like she doesn’t exist half the time, just so I could go out on a date with her. Yeah that’s just too much information for anyone to have about me. That has got to stay inside the brain. Do you hear that mouth? Shut it. Pam is just a girl I work with who’s also my friend. That is it. Let’s get out there and date someone.

What happened to me? Before I took this job I was totally fine with the way things were in my social life. I had plenty of dates. I didn’t care about whether or not I ever had a wife and kids. Now for the past few years, ever since I started working there, selling paper, making Pam laugh throughout the day, all of a sudden now I want a wife and kids. It’s so stupid to think this way. What is it about this girl? I’m really afraid that I’ve known that answer since the day I met her.



Pam

Every year I dread Christmas a little more. I just don’t like that when Roy and I go over to his parents house, all he does all day is sit in the living room watching football all day with his dad and Kenny. And I get stuck playing housemaid to the three of them. I’m just tired of trying to remember all the good times Roy and I have when it’s just the two of us alone. But when he gets together with his brother, it’s like I fade into the background.

I have to stop myself from getting angry with him when he puts no effort into my gift. I just have to keep telling myself that at least he remembered to get me something. I have to not get annoyed when he yells for me to bring him another beer, while I’m helping his mom with dinner. I do like his parents. They’re sweet, like my own family. We get along, but something is missing that I can’t put my finger on.

But whenever we do finally get married things will get better, I just know it. We’ll have kids, and things will be right. He’ll play with them and help put together their new toys and we’ll laugh and watch silly Christmas movies together. We’ll have Christmas day at our house, he’ll help me with dinner and we’ll all be a family together, instead of this women in the kitchen, men in front of the TV thing that goes on every year.

Things will definitely get better. They’ll change and I’ll be happy and married and everything will be perfect. This is why I don’t like the holidays, because most of the year things are good between Roy and me. And when they’re not, I have my best friend Jim to lean on and talk to.

Jim is such a great guy. I hope he finds someone that makes him happy, I really do. He’s so warm and sweet and really funny. When Jim and I talk I just feel like he’s actually paying attention to what I have to say. I know he’ll be there to listen. And when I get a little scared to think that when he does find someone he won’t have any time for me, I just have to remind myself that I’ll be married to Roy soon, and everything will be perfect. I won’t have to deal with Roy staying out all the time with his brother. And I won’t have to dread the holiday’s anymore.
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