"Big day tomorrow!"
Roy smiled, his elbow cocked on Pam's desk.
"Yep." She stared at the papers in front of her.
"I get to be with an older woman!"
She shot him a look.
- - -
Jim watched from Phyllis's desk. "What's with her?" he asked, in a low voice.
"It's her birthday tomorrow. She doesn't want anybody to know. She's still not married. She doesn't have any kids. And she's turning 27."
Phyllis looked ruefully at Pam.
"She should be so lucky."
- - -
"I hate my birthday. I don't like people asking how old I am. And I'm old enough now that I have to do the math first.
"It's not a big deal.
"Roy thinks it's a big deal. It's the only anniversary he remembers. Except his birthday. And the first day of hunting season."
- - -
The next morning, everybody was in the conference room for a meeting. Except Jim, who was waiting for a call from a customer.
Into reception walked a big bouquet of purple balloons, with a banner reading, "Happy Birthday!"
Darting a look at the conference room, Jim hurried over and signed for the balloons.
He paused to consider the situation.
Then he put them on Dwight's desk.
- - -
First out were Kelly and Stanley.
"Ooh! Birthday! Is there cake?"
"There better be cake," Stanley grumbled.
Next came Michael.
"Wow! But I thought Dwight's birthday was in October."
"That's on the Elvish calendar," said Jim.
Michael nodded. "Oh."
Pam saw the balloons. She was mortified. She looked like something bad was going to happen to her. But then she realized the balloons were on Dwight's desk. She was confused.
She looked at Jim. He shrugged.
"Alright, what's this?"
Dwight strode toward the sea of purple that was now his desk.
"They're balloons," said Jim.
"I can see that - idiot. What are they doing here?"
"Apparently it's your birthday,"
"It's not my birthday."
"It says it's your birthday."
"It is not my birthday."
"Happy birthday."
"It is NOT my birthday!"
"How old are you?"
"That is NONE of your business." Dwight wheeled toward Toby, who was among the crowd now gathered around his desk. "These balloons were sent under false pretenses. These are FRAUDULENT balloons! I demand to see everyone's personnel records, so I can find the true owner!"
Pam froze. So did Creed.
"Dwight, we can't do that." Michael pretended to ignore Toby. "We can't do that, Dwight. Don't be an idiot."
Dwight pawed through the balloons. He found an envelope, opened it, and pulled out a card.
"'Love, Roy,'" he read. He looked around the room. "Who is Roy?"
Jim leaned back in his chair and put his index finger against his cheek.
"The man who sent you the balloons?"
Pam giggled. So did Kevin. Meredith gave a thumbs-up: "Way to go!" Oscar looked on, incredulously. Angela rolled her eyes.
"Jim!" Dwight yelled. He grabbed a pair of scissors and started stabbing at the balloons. They bounced all over as he struggled to pop them.
He put down the scissors and unsheathed a Hassenfass knife. He grabbed a balloon, held it down with his left hand, and popped it loudly. Everyone flinched.
After ritually sacrificing each balloon, he sheathed the knife, slammed it onto his desk, and stormed out of the office.
Everyone went back to work. Except Jim, who walked over to reception.
"You know, some people are really sensitive about their age!"
Pam smiled bashfully.
He leaned in toward her. "So, are you going out tonight?"
"Yeah."
"You are SO going to get carded!"
She blushed.
THE END
Story Notes:
Set sometime during Season 2. I neither own nor claim any intellectual property rights in The Office. Warning: the title contains part of a made-up word used to trick students.
Chapter End Notes:
Happy birthday to NanReg, one of the all-time greats!
Guten Tag is the author of 3 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 1 members. Members who liked Happy Birthday - To Whom? also liked 869 other stories.
This story is part of the series, let?s celebrate birthday month in style today.. The previous story in the series is February 3rd (Or how Pam Beesly got schooled by Georgia O'Keefe, Maggie and Punxatawny Phil). The next story in the series is In A Year.
