Get in Line
by Steph
Summary: Do you think the decorations for Michael's birthday look stupid? Do you prefer one coworker over another? Get in line.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: This is for NanReg. Happy birthday! Hope you're having a great day! Thank you for always reviewing even though I write "different" kinds of fics.
Timeline: Current season, pre-Secretary's Day
---
Pam hated balloons. Not all balloons, mind you. Just these balloons and these streamers and these banners that she was being forced to blow up and hang up and set up even though she was a salesperson and not the receptionist anymore.
Erin was the receptionist but Andy had whisked her away to lunch to celebrate their ninth official date. Or something. Erin was the receptionist and Ryan was the temp who did nothing in the office all day except stand around in his ridiculous poseur outfits and paw at Kelly and make scathing comments in everyone else’s direction. Ryan was just the temp but he thought everyone and everything was beneath him and he couldn’t be bothered to do something as silly as help decorate for Michael’s birthday and really Pam should be ashamed of herself for even asking him.
Pam wasn’t ashamed, but she was frustrated and cranky and she was a salesperson now but was blowing up balloons instead of doing what salespeople do. She asked Phyllis for help but sweet Phyllis said she was too busy making sales to help Pam with her “little projects” and Pam wondered when exactly Phyllis had become such a bitch.
Pam wasn’t sure it was rational, but more than anything, she blamed Bob Vance for the transformation.
Angela said she was too busy correcting errors that Kevin had made to help and Pam didn’t believe her and was about to say something snarky but Oscar nodded at Pam and wearily rubbed his forehead, as a way of corroborating Angela’s story. Pam started to apologize, but Angela cut her off by saying that maybe if Pam hadn’t taken so much time off with the baby then she might remember how the office worked.
Angela, Pam knew, has always been a bitch.
The accountants were busy and the salespeople were busy and the receptionist was being wined and dined and the temp thought he was above everyone else and Jim was out with a client and there was no one left to help her. She took a break from the streamers to get some coffee and noticed Toby sitting at a table, reading a newspaper.
“I need help,” she said and her voice came out just a little too hysterical, a little too desperate for what she was asking for. But he put down his newspaper and followed her into the conference room just as she knew he would.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re probably just as busy as everyone else.”
He shrugged. “Not really. It’s okay.”
He worked quietly, blowing up balloons, helping her put up the banner. He didn’t talk much, and he still refused to look at her which made her uncomfortable. He didn’t used to be like this, she knew and it saddened her. She knew why and Jim knew why and that saddened her even more.
Jim did a crazy good impression of Toby. Dead on. If she had to say, Pam would say it was his best; better than his impression of Dwight or Andy or Stanley or Kevin. Jim had it all down: the blinking, the stammering and mumbling, the slouching and fidgeting. Jim’s impression always cracked her up and she felt a slight pang of shame now, watching Toby open up bags of noisemakers and other party favors.
Toby was helping her now when no one else would and she had laughed at him.
She vowed not to laugh next time, even though she would be tempted to. She vowed to be nicer to Toby even if he still couldn’t quite look her in the eye. She vowed that the next time she had a friend, a pretty, intelligent, sweet friend, who wanted to be set up, Pam would suggest Toby, who was shy and awkward but kind and smart, instead of Michael, who always screwed things up and embarrassed everyone involved.
Toby stood up, put his hands in his pocket, and surveyed their work, nodding to himself as if pleased, and as she watched him, she went through the names of her single friends in her mind, thinking about which one was the prettiest.
--
“Hey,” Meredith said. “Didn’t I see you at Chuck E Cheese last weekend?”
“Yeah,” Toby said. “Sasha’s friend had a birthday party there.”
She nodded. She had been pretty sure it was him; those baggy, saggy eyes of his were pretty distinctive. She had nudged Ray and said, “See that guy? The one with the eyes? I work with him.”
Ray hadn’t cared. Meredith wasn’t too sure that he had understood her. English wasn’t his first language and they usually didn’t talk much. Not that that bothered her.
“You were there too?” Toby asked. “One of your kids have a party there?”
“Nah,” she said. “I’m sort of hanging out with a guy who works there. Janitorial. So he has to mop up some kid’s puke every once in awhile but other than that he has plenty of time for me.”
“Huh,” he said. “Well...”
She laughed. “It’s a pretty sweet deal. He sneaks us some pizza so we can eat afterwards. Because you know you can really work up an appetite doing what we do.” She laughed again. “And we ain’t playing skeeball. Although I guess you can say balls are involved. We’re...”
“I get it,” he said, red-faced. Then she guessed to change the subject he asked, “How old are your kids again?”
“Doesn’t matter,” she replied. “All that matters is that they’re not old enough to live on their own. Legally I mean.”
“Right.”
“Jake’s been giving me trouble lately. He’s been setting things on fire. Garbage cans. Clothes. Roadkill. Your daughter doing that kind of thing yet?”
Toby looked horrified. “Uh...no.”
“She will,” Meredith said confidently. “Mark my words. And when she starts, my advice is to get to know the fire department really well. You do a few favors now and then and it really comes in handy. They look the other way. Hey you know there’s a chick on the fire department. You should look into hitting that. On the off-chance she’s not a lesbian.”
“Uh...”
“This party is so lame,” she said. She drank from her red plastic cup of punch. “I mean the cake isn’t even that good... and the decorations look really stupid.”
“We put a lot of work into this,” he mumbled.
“It doesn’t show,” she said. “I think we should just take Michael to Chuck E Cheese next year. Get him some cheap, crappy pizza and some tokens and have them announce his name over the loudspeaker and have him run around with all the other kids and then he can fall asleep on the way home.”
Toby stared at her for a second before laughing. “That’s not a bad idea.”
“It’s a brilliant idea,” she said. “We can park him in front of one of those godawful shows with those creepy talking rats or whatever and the rest of us can sneak out for some real fun. There are a few bars around.”
“I like it,” he said.
He smiled at her and as she continued talking, she racked her brain, trying to remember if she had ever slept with him and if so, how good the sex had been.
--
“Kelly,” Toby said. “You look just gorgeous today. Ryan, you’re one lucky guy.”
“I know,” Ryan said. “I don’t know how I got so lucky. All I know is that I wake up next to this beautiful goddess everyday and just feel blessed.”
Okay. So Ryan and Toby weren’t really saying that. But sometimes when people were talking about something super boring like local news, Kelly liked to imagine them saying more interesting things. About her.
“You guys are so boring,” Kelly said, rolling her eyes. “Let’s talk about something different. Something not stupid. Like have either of you watched Pretty Wild? That show is awesome.”
Ryan gave her a dirty look. “Yes. Because watching shows about famewhores is so fascinating. God Kelly.”
“That show is great, Ryan Howard! Just because you don’t understand how great it is...”
“What’s there to understand? It’s not rocket science.”
“Right because it’s like so much more exciting and awesome than rocket science. Not like you know what rocket science is. You think you’re so much smarter than you are.”
“Well, I do spend my time reading and trying to educate myself so...”
“Educate yourself?” she shrieked. “You’re so full of it!”
“Guys,” Toby softly interjected. “Maybe you should take this elsewhere.”
“Whatever,” Kelly said. “Ryan thinks he’s so much better than me. And he’s not. But fine. Whatever. We can talk about something else. Like have you seen the latest pictures of Cecilia? She’s the cutest thing ever! I can’t wait to have a baby.”
“You’re not emotionally mature enough to have a baby.”
“Shut up Ryan! I so am. And one day soon you’re going to realize you can’t live without me and you’ll propose and we’ll have the most beautiful children ever and we’ll be so happy!”
“It’s cruel to have a child with the way the world is today.”
“That’s so not true. We’ll love the baby so much and maybe she’ll be a baby model and we’ll be rich. And we can dress her up and enter her in pageants like on Toddlers & Tiaras.”
“Yeah,” Ryan said with disdain. “That’s a fantastic thing to do to a kid.”
“We’ll be the best parents ever,” Kelly swooned, ignoring him. “And we’ll have the best parties for her. Not something stupid like this party. I mean seriously. It’s awful. Who put this together?”
“Well I...” Toby mumbled.
“Our parties will be the best,” she continued. “And our daughter will be the best. Toby,” she said turning to him, “isn’t having a daughter the best thing in the world?”
“It is,” he agreed. “Daughters are wonderful.”
“See?” She pointed at Ryan. “Toby thinks daughters are wonderful and he only gets to see his daughter something like twice a month. Imagine how much more wonderful it’ll be for you because I’ll never fall in love with another man so we’ll never get divorced and you won’t have to move out and you’ll get to see your daughter like all the time.”
She was so wrapped up in her fantasy of a beautiful, stylish family with Ryan, that she didn’t even notice at first that Toby had left.
Hmm... That was weird. He must have gone to get some cake.
--
“How can you say you liked that movie?” Oscar asked shaking his head. “It was one of the worst adaptations I’ve ever seen and that’s saying something. The acting was robotic and the dialogue...”
“I didn’t say I loved it,” Toby said. “I just didn’t hate it as much as you did. And I didn’t think the dialogue was that bad.”
“It was so simplistic. ‘I am cold,’ ‘I will put on a sweater.’ Show, don’t tell. If I were a character in that movie, I would say things like, ‘I am at a party’ and ‘These party decorations look like a four-year-old did them.’”
“Hey...”
Oscar was about to tell Toby what else he hated about the movie: the trite ending that had really bothered him when something caught his eye. Someone caught his eye. A certain handsome someone with red hair and a great smile was talking to Darryl and just like that Oscar forgot what he had been complaining about.
Forgot that he was at a stupid office birthday for Michael, forgot that he was holding a cup of the weakest punch he had ever tasted, even forgot that he was in the middle of a conversation with Toby who was mumbling his way around a counterpoint to Oscar’s argument.
Oscar was about to politely excuse himself when Michael walked over to them. He had a smear of orange frosting near the corner of his lip and he was wearing a party hat. Oscar felt embarrassed on his behalf.
“Oscar!” Michael said. “This is some fiesta, right?”
“It is,” Oscar agreed neutrally. He looked just past Michael to the warehouse workers.
“I’m so glad you came!”
“Well,” Oscar said. “It helps that it’s at work.”
Michael laughed before his eyes narrowed as he took in who Oscar had been talking to. “What are you doing here, weirdo?”
“Just...uh...eating some cake.”
Michael reached out to grab for Toby’s plate, holding his half-eaten piece of cake. Looking dumbfounded, Toby reacted too slowly and Michael was easily able to take it. “Not anymore.”
“Michael,” Oscar said.
“No, Oscar,” Michael said. “This is my birthday. And the best thing about having a party even more than the presents or having hot girls kiss you is that you get to be surrounded by friends you love. And you, Toby, gross, are not anyone’s friend here. You’re weird and pathetic and you make people uncomfortable. You’re ruining everything.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Just being here you’re ruining things. No one wants you here. These people aren’t your friends, Creep. In fact if we had everyone here line up either behind me or behind you to show who they liked better everyone would be in my line and it would just be you all alone. Which you really should be used to by now. We should do that. Hey everyone line up...” he called.
“That’s not necessary,” Toby interrupted. “I’ll leave.”
Oscar knew he should have said something; he usually was the voice of reason in this place, but his attention was again diverted by the handsome man with red hair and a great smile talking to Darryl and by the time Oscar was ready to look away Toby had already left for the annex.
--
“The funny thing is,” Pam said to Oscar, her voice lowered, “is that if we were forced to line up in support of Michael or Toby, I think the results would surprise him.”
“I think the results would surprise both of them,” Oscar answered. Michael was talking to Dwight and Andy, telling what sounded like some joke about the size and shape of the balloons, not really appropriate for work. Oscar couldn’t hear all of it, but what he could hear made him cringe.
“Dwight would line up for Michael,” Pam said. “So that’s one.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Kelly asked. “Me?”
“Why would they be talking about you?” Ryan asked.
When Oscar explained their topic of discussion, Ryan nodded and said, “That’s really juvenile of Michael. That being said, I would line up with Toby.”
“Me too,” Kelly said. “And not because I’m copying you Ryan so don’t even say that. Toby’s my friend and he doesn’t make jokes about me being Indian. Oh and Erin would totally go in Toby’s line too.”
“Are you sure about that?” Pam asked. Erin stood with Andy listening to Michael. Her laugh, goofy and contagious, filled the room. “She seems to like Michael.”
Kelly shrugged. “Erin does whatever I tell her to. And Andy does whatever Erin tells him to. So that’s two more.”
“Phyllis doesn’t seem to like Michael much these days,” Oscar mused. “But I don’t know how she feels about Toby...”
“Maybe Stanley would go to Toby,” Pam guessed. “No, actually he would probably say the whole thing was stupid and stay at his desk.”
“Darryl would go to Toby,” Kelly said. “I know this because we used to sleep together and he was so hot.” She smirked at Ryan. “He was so great in bed.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Oscar asked before deciding he didn’t really want to know. “Creed,” he said quickly so Kelly wouldn’t answer his question.
“Toss up,” Pam said smiling. “Wild card.”
“What about Jim?” Ryan asked Pam and she stopped smiling. “I...well...” she stuttered. “Um...”
“How about Meredith?” Oscar asked, rescuing her.
“Depends on whether she’s slept with either of them.” Kelly said, giggling.
“Slept with who?” Meredith asked coming up from behind them. “This party blows.”
“Totally,” Kelly said. “Have you slept with Michael or Toby?”
“Kelly,” Pam hissed.
Meredith frowned. “Definitely not Michael. Not 100% sure about Toby. There was one night that is a possibility. Why?”
After Kelly filled her in, Meredith said, “Oh I’d be in Toby’s line. Just because he needs people in his line just to know that there are people in his line.”
The five of them were silent as they thought about it; it was actually kind of profound.
“Maybe we should tell him that people would be in his line,” Pam said.
Maybe they should, but Jim was walking over to Pam shaking his head and laughing over something Dwight had done and soon she was laughing with him, and Kelly and Ryan started arguing over something trivial and Meredith wandered out of the party area toward her desk in search of something to liven up her cup of punch and Oscar got a chance to speak a bit to the handsome man with red hair and a great smile and everyone’s thoughts of the sad man exiled to the annex and the people in his hypothetical line were completely forgotten.
--
Toby sat at his desk. The annex was quiet. Kelly wasn’t there which meant that Ryan wasn’t there and Erin and Andy weren’t there and that was okay because Toby had some work to catch up on and the silence was something to revel in.
It was okay that he had been thrown out of Michael’s party. Nothing Michael did surprised him anymore; the insults, the mistreatment had become so commonplace that Toby saw no point in arguing or defending himself. It just wasn’t worth it.
And no one even really seemed to mind him leaving the party. That didn’t bother him either. He would use the time to work until the noise and chaos that was Kelly returned.
It’s not like he had been having a great time at the party. He talked to a few coworkers, attempted to eat some cake, attempted to admire the decorations he had helped put up earlier.
He wondered if Pam would tell Michael that Toby was partly responsible for the decorations. He wondered what Michael would say about that.
Toby sat back all the way in his chair thinking about those decorations. He had blown the balloons only about halfway, so that they were droopy and misshapen, sad little balloons that didn’t exactly float the way they should. He thought about the banners he had hung just slightly crooked and the streamers tossed haphazardly. He thought of the small rip in the “Happy Birthday” sign that welcomed people into the conference room and how he had run his finger underneath, his nail getting caught making the tear just a tiny bit more noticeable.
New mother Pam had probably been too exhausted to notice any of his clumsiness or sloppiness. Or maybe she had noticed and just didn’t care. Maybe she had been cheering him on. He had been too afraid to look at her as he decorated, afraid that he would start feeling bad for his actions. And he didn’t want to feel bad about that.
Sure he knew that his mild decoration sabotage was petty and passive aggressive of him, but he didn’t care that much; he figured after years of bullying and exclusion he was entitled every once in awhile.
He smiled to himself. It wasn’t a huge smile; he wasn’t sure if he was capable of those anymore. Not without a stronger prescription anyway. It wasn’t a huge smile, just a slight quirk of his lips, and he felt almost proud of himself.
Happy Happy Birthday Michael, he thought. Still smiling, he turned his computer back on and began to work.
The End
Get in Line by Steph
Steph is the author of 37 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 1 members. Members who liked Get in Line also liked 161 other stories.
This story is part of the series, let?s celebrate birthday month in style today.. The previous story in the series is Photography. The next story in the series is Cancer scare.
