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If anyone had told me four years ago that I would be sharing juice boxes with the guy who broke my heart, the one who turned me into a sobbing-ice-cream-eating mess, I would’ve advised them to see a shrink. I relocated to the middle of nowhere only to have him dump me six months later for the girl next door. So, sharing anything with him was…out of the question. But life will always try to tie all its loose ends, and Jim Halpert was my loose end.
After the fall of Dunder-Mifflin, my branch was given the ‘x’ a short time after Christmas. It didn’t come as a surprise—sales were down, customer volume was low…. Anyone with half a brain would have put two and two together. And let’s be honest, when the most profitable branch has Michael Scott for branch manager—what does that say about the company’s infrastructure?
Dan, my husband, was very supportive and gave me freedom to pursue anything I chose to do. At one point I even considered being a stay-a-home mom. I know, shocked me too. Five years ago I’d never consider it. Heck, four years ago I’d never have believed it. But then Ethan, my little guy, came along and changed me.
Well, I took the obligatory time off and later found another managing position at a fairly large office supply distributor, Staples. Yeah, I think it was for the best. They are more flexible when it comes to taking time off and the pay is definitely better.
Well enough of me…going back to Jim Halpert.
I’m in New York with Dan because he has some sort of dermatological convention this weekend. Since I can’t remember the last time the three of us went away together, we took the opportunity to make it a family trip. It’s always nice to take a break from our busy-office life, plus, I love New York.
It’s a beautiful, sunny day today and while Dan is in meetings, I decide to take Ethan to Madison Square Park. I am here for nearly ten minutes before I see this lanky-form of a man walk into the playground with a little girl hoisted on his hip.
I do a double take because I can’t believe my eyes. James Duncan Halpert, commitment-phobic—‘Karen you living a block away is like we’re living together’—is toting a bubbly baby girl in his arms. I watch him lower her down and she stands on wobbly legs, holding tightly onto his jeans. She cranes her curly head to look up at him and bounces on her feet—not a bit pleased to be standing on her own. She then opens and closes her tiny hands to be picked up, saying, “Da-da.”
Confirmed, that’s his kid. Not that there’s was any doubt.
That being said, she’s a cutie. Her hair is golden colored, her cheeks are rosey and chubby, and her eyes, well…they are his. She’s wearing a striped shirt with shirred patch-pocketed shorts, and baby eyelet espadrilles. She’s a little babe right out of a babyGap catalogue.
Jim bends down to the little dumpling’s level, says something to her, and kisses her little nose. She scrunches her tiny features and brings her index finger to touch his nose. He makes some ‘munching’ noise and nibbles on her fingers. A cheeky smile breaks across her face and I can hear a flurry of giggles erupt as he picks her up and lifts her over his shoulder.
Jim reminds me a lot of Dan. Dan is amazing with Ethan, very patient and calm—I get a bit jealous sometimes. He gets to be the ‘cool’ parent more often than not.
Jim starts walking around the perimeter of the park and the curious munchkin points to things and he laughs and replies to her inquiries. He gestures to the slide and the swings, but little baby Halpert wants nothing to do with it. She’s not detaching from him anytime soon. He makes all the way around the playground and now he’s coming towards where I’m seated.
It’s now or never.
“Hey...” I say, but my voice is swallowed by all the near noises. “Halpert,” I say a little louder. He stops and looks around but doesn’t seem to know where it’s coming from. So I try again.
“Halpert!”
This time he turns in my direction and finally sees me. Needles to say, he’s surprised.
“Oh my God…” He walks towards me with his mouth hanging wide open. “Karen Filippelli? I can’t believe it.”
He pulls the little cutie patootie from his shoulders and sits next to me with her on his lap. We greet with an awkward, sideways hug and the little babe sandwiched between us looks up at me with these killer green eyes—definitely his kid.
“How’s it hanging?” I want to seem nonchalant.
“Good, you?”
“I’m good too.”
There’s a awkward moment where I know the reality of this reunion is just sinking in his big head. So I venture out—stating the obvious, “I see you got busy there.” I tickle the little girl and she contorts into Jim’s chest, but offers me a lopsided grin. Of course.
He chuckles, “Karen, this is my daughter Cecelia.”
“Hi Cecelia.”
“Say, “Hi,’” he beckons her, but she nuzzles her doll face into his shirt. He shrugs and says, “We’ve taught her no manners.”
“Mine is over there,” I say pointing to my little brown-haired man about three feet away with dirt on his shirt. “That’s Ethan.”
“How old is he now?”
“He’s two.”
“Cecelia is fourteen months.”
“I thought I worked quickly, but you guys... The last time I saw Pam, you had just gotten engaged. And two years later, boom, you’re on diaper duty with a one year old.”
He chuckles and runs his fingers through his hair. “Yeah,” he says, blushing. “Cece was kind of a wonderful surprise.”
I laugh. “Kind of? Halpert, you’re saying that the afterschool specials taught you nothing?”
“Haha… what about him,” he points to Ethan. “The last time I saw you, you weren’t even seeing anyone.”
“What? You don’t know that. I think I was—Ethan,” I say directing my attention to my little rascal. “Put that down.” He is holding some branch thing or something. “Thank you…. As I was saying, by that time I was ‘seeing’—”
“Doubted it.” He interrupts.
“Well, I am not you! You went on a date the same day you broke up with me.” I counter back.
“Ouch, that was low.”
I smirk slyly at him. It’s nice to be able to joke around like we used too. I think we’re finally at a point where we can, perhaps, put the past behind us.
“So, how’s Pam?” I ask, changing the subject. They’re still together—I’m not blind, I see the ring on his ring finger. Plus, Cecelia is definitely Pam’s daughter. Jim’s hair is not curly and her cute little nose, well… is not his.
“She’s great. We are here because she’s trying to see if her credits from Pratt can be transferred to a local college in Scranton. So we made it a family trip.”
“Yep, we’re here because Dan has this dermatology convention thingy.” We nod at the coincidence. “You know, Pam seemed really happy when I saw her.”
“Yeah…” He’s distracted. Cecelia is contorting in his arms trying to free herself from his grasp. “You want out now?” He asks and lets her slide from his lap to stands between his legs.
“Yeah….I hope she was,” he turns back to me.
“I should’ve known about you guys.” I chuckle at the bitter past. Looking back, I cringe as how blind I was.
“You were blinded by the Halpert charm.” He says smugly—always going for comic relief. We share a laugh ‘cause there’s isn’t an ounce of regret between us. “You know,” he continues, “I don’t think I ever apologized for—”
Aaaand there’s the essence behind Jim Halpert, and I have to tease him for it. “You’re sap now Halpert? No apologies…I’m carrying this one to the grave.” He laughs, but knows I kid and that everything turned out for the best. “But we had fun, uh?”
He nods, “We did.” He looks pensively down at Cecelia and twists one of her curls between his fingers, then looks back at me. “Remember how that girl almost hit you at Poor Richard’s that one time?”
Yes, I vividly do. “Oh my God! Yes! You just stood there looking pathetic.”
“Karen, I know better than to get between a girl fight.”
“Well, she got her ass kicked.”
“Not by you.”
“That’s not the point.”
We venture further down memory lane, sharing juice boxes and goldfishes, talking and laughing and just finally being friends. I talk about my job and he talks about Sabre, the company that bought out Dunder-Mifflin. He updates me on the other workers and recaps his experience as a co-manager with Michael—what a stupid idea. We exchange ‘Charles Minor’ stories and I can definitely commiserate with him. That guy was an ass.
His face immediately lights up when we talk about our babes. He gushes about Cecelia and I laugh at how whipped he is. He talks about how she’s walking and starting to talk and having her own little girly quirks. I remember when Ethan was that age… I feel nostalgic. My baby is growing up too fast.
We share our rookie mistakes, sleepless nights, and labor fiascos. He tells me Pam went crazy during labor…. Well, I can sympathize with that.
“I was in labor for 15 hours before Ethan arrived.”
“Pfff…That’s nothing. Pam was in labor for 19 hours. She was having contractions for another 5 hours before that. Cecelia,” he says cleaning the goldfish crumbs from her pouty lips. “Took her sweet time getting here.”
“Ethan just didn’t want to come out. I was past my due date. I had to be induced.”
“I read about that and that’s the worse.”
“You read about it?” He would.
“Oh, ask Pam. I read about everything.”
Speaking of Pam, Cecelia suddenly becomes very excited and bounces on her feet, mumbling, “Mama.”
I look in the direction of the entrance and Pam is indeed coming towards us. She hasn’t changed one bit since I saw her last. The hair, the clothes, and the barely-visible make-up… She’s still same o’l Pam.
“Hey,” Jim says, standing up to greet her with a kiss. “How was it? Can you transfer the credits?”
“Yeah, after a lot of begging they’ll send the transcripts over,” she says a bit out of breath, as if she ran here as fast as she could. She pulls Cecelia towards her and kisses her round belly. The little wiggle worm giggles and squirms in her arms.
“That’s awesome, Babe,” he says.
They look at each other and it’s like I'm back at Dunder-Mifflin watching these too together. Pam is so excited about the credit thing and seeing Cecelia again that she doesn’t see me until Jim motions towards me.
“Pam…”
“Oh my God, Karen…” She says before pulling me to a hug. Cecelia is once again sandwiched between one of her parents and me. “Hey…..” She sees my little guy who is now seated next to me, “Is that—”
“Yeah, that’s Ethan,” Jim interjects.
“He’s so big!”
Jim nudges her and says, “Karen was just bragging how she endured 15 hours of labor.”
Pam sits down between Jim and I with Cecelia propped on her lap. “Gosh, I don’t even remember how long it was with her… It felt like an eternity.”
“It was 19 hours, Pam,” Jim reminds her.
“You would know,” she says and turns back to me, “Jim fainted like three times.”
I laugh. “You did not?”
“He did,” Pam confirms.
Jim looks like a deer caught in the headlights.
Now I have to throw Dan under the bus too. “When I was screaming in pain in the last hours, Dan was screaming too.” Pam and I laugh, Jim deadpans—I guess he can sympathize with my husband. “I think, though he will never admit it, he was having ‘sympathy’ pains.”
Pam throws her head back totally amused. “Hours after Cece was born, Jim had the audacity to say ‘delivery wasn’t so bad.’”
“But of course you did…you hadn’t just pushed a bowling ball out of you-know-what.”
“Is it lets-gang-up-on-Jim-day? I don’t—” He averts his eyes and extends his arms to Cecelia; she immediately throws herself at him. Such a daddy’s girl. “At least you still like me, uh?” He says nuzzling into her neck.
Pam smiles, looking at her husband entertaining their daughter. She then turns back to me and says, “He was great though,” she tells me.
I pull Ethan to my lap and ruffle his hair. “Yeah, Dan too.”
“He looks a lot like you.”
Yup, Ethan does. “I get that a lot,” I say, kissing him. “She’s a good mix of you guys and she’s adorable.” She really is. “And the baby espadrilles…. Impressive.”
Pam laughs. “A gift from my mom. Cece is the first grandkid on my side, so my mom spoils her rotten.”
“Thinking of adding to the clan?” I ask ‘cause it’s always on the back of my mind.
“Umm… In the future. We’re still figuring things out with this one.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Jim ventures out to the park with their little dumpling and Pam and I chat a bit more. We talk about being a new mom and work and all other boring things moms talk about. There’s still the notion of ‘I’ve slept with your husband,’ but it’s not so bad. She tells me about school and art and the reason she wants to get back into it. I tell her about Staples and how Ethan’s arrival made me want to be a stay home mom and she totally agrees with me. I don’t really have a lot of friends who can commiserate with being a working mom. This is nice.
Jim comes back later, after finally convincing his hesitant one-year old to go on the swings, and in no-certain spoken terms tells Pam is time to leave.
“I think we’re gonna get going.”
I look at my watch; Dan should’ve been here by now. “Okay…” I say standing up with a heavy Ethan in my arms. “It was really good seeing you guys.”
“It was really good to catch up,” Jim says. Pam looks at Jim and he looks at her and they converse telepathically and Jim turns to me again. “We are going to grab a bite to eat, wanna come with?”
“Oh no,” I decline. “Thank you. Dan should be out of his meeting soon. We are meeting up later.”
“Oh, okay then.”
“See you around,” Pam says, then turn to my tired bambino. “Bye Ethan.”
“Say ‘bye-bye,’” I say waving his little hand and he parrots, “Buh-bye.”
I watch Jim shift their baby to one arm and snake the other around Pam. He lowers his lips to her hair and plants a kiss there. She laughs and leans into him.
Jim and Pam are the poster couple for soul-mate love. I can’t believe that I was ever in the way of that. I’m sure if people ever get to watch the documentary of my time in Scranton they would hate me. I’m sure legions of females would probably show up at my door with pitchforks amongst other things. Looking back it was pretty obvious.
Yeah, I was definitely blind.
Loose end—no more.
Loose Ends by Dedeen
Story Notes:
I don't how I feel about this one... I almost didn't post it, but here it is.
Author's Chapter Notes:
EmilyHalpert, Beta-extraordinaire, helped me out with this one! Thanks so much!
I own nothing.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading. Should another "loose end" be tied? Let me know what you guys think.
