I’m standing in the kitchen heating water for my tea when he walks in, looking sheepish. I’ve never seen him look anything other than confident, poised, so utterly not dork-like, and I do a double take. He’s looking at me, taking a sip of his coffee, his mouth twitching like he needs to say something. I stare back, quirking my eyebrow before giving him a small smile.
He opens his mouth. He hesitates.
I’m confused.
“I didn’t mean it,” He says quietly.
I’m even more confused now.
“About… the dork thing… I don’t know why I said that. I-I didn’t mean it.” He stutters.
I’m sure my face is reminiscent of that of a fish looking for a stream.
“I’m sorry,” He continues. “I just… that’s not what I meant to say.”
As my eyebrows start their descent from my hairline, he visibly relaxes.
Still confused.
“Then why did you say it?” I ask. “I can be a dork, I’m not ashamed of it.”
He fidgets. I’ve never seen him fidget. Self-assurance just oozes from this man, and this is not a side of him I’ve ever been graced with.
“Look… It’s just a long story, ok? I didn’t mean to say you were a dork, I just meant that… I don’t know.”
He shuffles his feet, running his non-coffee holding hand through his short, graying hair.
I bite the side of my lip, playing with the paper casing of the tea bag I’m about to use.
“It’s fine, Danny,” I say. “Don’t worry about it.”
He looks at me for a long moment, and I start to feel kind of anxious under his scrutiny.
“I said it because I didn’t know how I felt,” He admits. “I didn’t call because of a lot of reasons, but you being even remotely dork-like wasn’t one of them.”
Confusion must be the word of the day on my Ziggy desk calendar.
He takes another sip of coffee, faltering.
“I mean, I’d just gotten out of a long-term relationship. I was confused. I felt more for you than… I thought I should have been feeling at that point in my life.”
I rip the tea bag casing.
He continues, “I didn’t call because I thought it might be more than what I thought it should be… if that makes any sense.” He stumbles over his quick speech. “I didn’t call because… of those reasons.”
Befuddled. Another word for confusion.
“I thought we’d had a good time,” I grin. “It probably could have become something… more, I suppose… but there was always someone I was waiting for.”
He nods slowly. “I know, and believe me, I’m happy for you and Jim. You have a beautiful family.”
I smile, thinking of my Swee’Pea and her daddy.
“Thank you,” I acquiesce. “I’m very lucky.”
He smiles back, the corners of his mouth tight. I turn to the kettle as it starts to wail, pouring the bubbling water into my mug. I dunk the tea bag in, letting it steep in the liquid.
“You know, I called Isabel a few months later,” He says.
I turn to him quickly. “What?”
To be fair, Isabel had been the one to introduce us.
“Not to ask her out or anything,” He quickly corrects himself. “I called to see if you were dating someone else.”
My eyebrows are once again hovering somewhere around the top of my skull.
“And?” I question.
“She said you were back with your ex… The one you’d been engaged to?”
My mouth drops open. “Oh.”
He looks down at his expensive, tasseled shoes.
“I didn’t bother to call again because… Well, I mean, I just assumed since you’d been engaged to him before, that you’d probably get married that time, you know?”
Of course I know. I lived it. Torturously lived it.
I shrug nonchalantly.
“It was a long time ago, Danny. No need for explanations. I know I asked for one, but I get it.”
He nods and turns on his heel before stopping and turning to me again.
“You know, I know it’s cliché, but for posterity’s sake… It really was me, not you.”
I stir my tea bag around the mug, the spoon clanking noisily against the ceramic. I look up to catch Danny’s eyes.
“To be honest, it doesn’t matter.”
He bobs his head up and down, running his hand through his hair one more time before pushing the door open and walking out.
I push up the red sleeve of my Olive Oyl dress, checking my watch. Popeye the ex-Sailor now Corporate America Man should be here soon with our baby girl.
Maybe I’m not a dork. But I am really, unbelievably lucky.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I lovedlovedloved this episode (PACKER!!) but I hated the idea that Danny didn't call Pam back because she was too "dorky" for him. Hence, the following.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading!
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