She sat staring at the phone, willing it to ring.
Two days ago she was fine. Two days ago her mind didn’t race and her heart didn’t beat out of her chest. She didn’t jump when the phone did ring, or jump down people’s throats when they told her the copier was jammed.
Two days ago she didn’t want to stay late.
But here she was, at 5:19 p.m., sitting at her desk and staring at the phone.
Tonight, at least, she had the excuse of waiting for the FedEx driver. His last pickup was usually at 4:30, but he still hadn’t arrived. She wasn’t complaining.
She was, however, going out of her mind. The conversation she had with Jim…the unexpected, nearly hour-long conversation she finally had with Jim….had not ended well. Well, it had ended okay. It was fine.
No, it wasn’t.
It was so not even close to fine that she hardly slept the last two nights. She tossed and turned, replaying every word he said. Tried to dissect each pause and each laugh; each time she thought he was going to say something personal.
God, she missed him.
Why didn’t she just explain that she was saying goodbye to Ryan? She started to, but didn’t finish. He hadn’t put up a fight. He seemed fine with ending their conversation.
“Bye, Pam.”
It haunted her. There was something there. Anger? Frustration? Disappointment? She didn’t know what it was, but there was something in his tone. She thought her head was going to explode from all the thought she was putting into it.
“Screw it. This is ridiculous.”
She picked up the handset and dialed the main number for the Stamford office. She maneuvered through the company directory and heard her heart beating in her ears as it connected to his extension.
He picked up on the 2nd ring.
“Jim Halpert.”
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Look, I..I need to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was finally going to do this. She gripped the edge of her desk to steady herself.
“The other night, I wasn’t saying goodbye to you. I was saying goodbye to Ryan. And Dwight, I guess. They had come in while we were talking, and Ryan looked kind of out of it, so I asked if he was okay. He said he was, and I said, ‘okay, bye’. Not to you, though. I wanted to keep talking to you. I…well, I just wanted you to know that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I apparently also want you to know that I can ramble as quickly as I type.”
He laughed and a wave of relief washed over her.
“So, I’m not the only one?”
“The only one?”
“The only one that could have kept talking for hours.”
She let out a long breath and smiled. She removed her hand from her desk and wrapped the phone cord around her finger.
“No. You are definitely not the only one.”
“Good.”
A comfortable silence fell, but she wanted more. Needed more. She forced herself to keep talking.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Neither could I. I kept thinking about 28 Days Later.”
Now it was her turn to laugh.
“God, I’ve missed that.”
“The movie? Jim, you can rent it at Blockbuster.”
“Oh, right. I just have to make sure I open the box first and check to see that I have the right DVD.”
“Exactly. Always a good rule of thumb.”
“Definitely.”
“Yeah. Definitely.”
“So-”
“I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“I should have called. I wanted to call. Believe me, I wanted to call.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“I didn’t feel I had the right, though. I hurt you so badly.”
“Pam, don’t-“
“No, I have to. You didn’t deserve that. I mean, I kissed you back. I’m sorry.”
“Wait. You’re sorry that you kissed me back?”
“No! Not sorry about that at all! I panicked, though. That’s why I pulled back.”
“I pushed you, Pam. I pushed a lot on you that night.”
“Thank God you did. You changed my life.”
“Well, I was just returning the favor.”
Just then, the door opened. Ben, from FedEx, walked in.
“Hey, Pam. Sorry to keep you waiting, but there was an accident on Washington Ave.”
She gave a small wave. “Jim, can you hold on a minute?”
“Sure.”
She put him on hold with a shaky hand and turned to Ben.
“Oh, uh…no problem, Ben. I had to stay anyway.” She handed him three envelopes.
“Just one tonight. It’s for you, actually. From the Stamford office.”
Her face lit up as she signed for it.
“Really?”
“That’s the address.”
“Great. Thanks.”
“Sure thing. Good Night.”
“Good Night.”
She ran her hand over the envelope and picked up the phone.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“So, something came for me from your office.”
“Oh, yeah? Anything good?”
“I didn’t open it yet.”
“Well, I think you should.”
“Okay.”
She ripped open the envelope and found a DVD copy of 28 Days with a note taped to the front:
No zombies in this one. I promise.
Love, Sandra (and Jim)
“Oh my gosh!”
“What?”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She slowly ran her hand over the note.
“I want to see you.”
“When?”
“This weekend? I mean, if you don’t already-“
“I don’t.”
“Cool. I can meet you wherever you want.”
“How about your new apartment?”
“My not-fancy new apartment?”
“Yeah. This whole ‘one kitchen’ thing really has me intrigued. I’m going to need to see it for myself.”
“Finally.”
“Yeah. Finally.”
