Jim never really went to church. He went a couple of times in high school to impress a girl. She broke up with him when he tried to get to second base. Maybe that’s why God hates Jim. God really hates Jim. That’s the only explanation for this, this absolute hell of a situation in which the love of Jim’s life doesn’t want him anymore.
She wants her space, indefinitely.
Fuck.
Darryl left the apartment as soon as the company went under. So now Jim is living the bachelor life alone. It sucks. The place is covered with dirty clothes, takeout trash, and empty beer cans. Jim hasn’t left the apartment in a week.
He can’t go home to Scranton; Pam flat out rejected that idea. So here he sits, in a cheap easy chair, beer in hand, completely and utterly alone.
He misses his kids. He just wants to ruffle CeCe’s hair, and sing Philip to sleep. The boy seems to enjoy Jim’s off-key renditions of classic 80’s hits.
Jim tries to picture Philip’s toothless smile after a particularly emotional performance of “Like a Prayer”. Pam collapsed in laughter at that one. Tears ran down her face while she giggled.
Jim’s own eyes mist over from the memory.
Pam.
God, she’s so perfect. Jim can still remember how he felt that night on the booze cruise. His heart belonged to her, and she didn’t even want it. He vowed that night that if he ever got the chance, he would make her the happiest woman in the world. He wouldn’t be Roy. He would treat Pam like the angel she is. He would save the receptionist.
If only Jim remembered that vow a few weeks ago.
It’s too late now. He blew it all. And for what? Shattered dreams and crippling debt? Jim lost his job and family all in one day. How is that fair? Jim lets out a watery chuckle, thinking about how pathetic his life has become.
He screwed up so badly. It’s just… It was so much easier to take his stress out on Pam. The pressure from leaving Dunder Mifflin for an unstable sports company combined with extreme homesickness tore at Jim. And every time he fought with Pam, he felt like he had control over something in his life. Of course, Pam did not appreciate this undeserved rage, so she sought comfort in the arms of a friend.
Well at least Jim thought he was a friend.
Fucking Brian.
Pam says that she didn’t let anything happen, but the ‘what if’s’ kill Jim. Pam could have left Jim for Brian. Brian the boom guy. Jim can think of better places to shove that boom.
But what’s the point of blaming Brian or even God. Jim knows that he brought all of this on himself.
So he sits in his chair with his beer and Tai food, alone.
Author's Chapter Notes:
i was feeling a bit down after the latest episode
so i decided to make it worse with an angsty ficlet
so i decided to make it worse with an angsty ficlet
PamelamaJimbo is the author of 1 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 1 members. Members who liked A Life Lived Alone also liked 993 other stories.
