“Miss Martin, would you do me the honour of taking a walk on the terrace?”

“Lieutenant Schrute, you should know better than to ask such things of me. It is not seemly for an unmarried man to escort an unmarried woman anywhere, even—or I should perhaps say, especially—out onto a terrace.”

“I am well aware of your high moral character, and I have no desire to impose upon it, but Miss Martin, what I wish to discuss with you is not intended for the common ear.”

“I thought as much. Well, Lieutenant, you may hardly have anything to say to me that I will not permit Mrs. Halpert to hear, and while I have no such confidence in the reliability of her spouse, I will rely upon her good judgement in choosing him and believe that I may remain equally sure of him. Therefore, please cease this nonsense about walking on the terrace and have out with it.”

“But Miss Martin…”

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“Very well, if you insist upon it, I shall continue with this audience. Mr. and Mrs. Halpert, please do me the justice to cover your ears, or at the very least to become temporarily deaf to what I have to say. Fact: Miss Martin, you are at present unmarried. Fact: your unmarried state comes not from any formal bar or impediment to your becoming married, but to sheer happenstance which has as yet not presented you with a suitable spouse. Fact: my position as a lieutenant has not secured me a sufficient competency to think seriously about marriage. Fact: Colonel Scott has informed me that as of today I am to be promoted to major, with a concomitant increase in pay and expectations. Fact: I have always found in you the ideal prospect of a wife, due to your perfect understanding of social niceties, formal expectations, and the right and proper way of living. Conclusion: I am now in a position to make you an offer, and if you were to accept we should deal very well together. Query: will you marry me?”

“Lieutenant Schrute….I mean, Major Schrute, this comes as quite a surprise.”

“I highly doubt it.”

“Jim, will you be quiet! I told you to cover your ears! Miss Martin, it cannot have escaped your notice that I love you.”

“It has not.”

“Then will you marry me?”

“Certainly, Major.”

“I believe, under the circumstances, you may call me Dwight.”

“Certainly, Dwight. However, you will oblige me by not calling me Angela until we are married.”

“Certainly, Miss Martin. Mr. and Mrs. Halpert, you may uncover your ears now and congratulate me. Miss Martin and  I are to be married.”

“You shock me.”

“Jim!” Pam laid her hand on her husband’s arm. “I think you two will be very happy together.”

“They certainly couldn’t be with anyone else.”

“Jim…” A mock-glare met a sheepish smile.

“Congratulations, Dwight. About everything. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, Jim. I must say, your example quite inspired me.”

“How so?”

“If someone as weak as you could make a marriage work, how could Miss Martin and I fail?”