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Author's Chapter Notes:
Pam and Larissa have another heart-to-heart.

Pam was never sad to see Jim, but she had to admit she felt a little trepidation as she and Larissa walked back upstairs after lunch. There was something about Larissa that reminded her so strongly of Jim that she could almost forget for a moment that the genuine article was sitting upstairs, only not in pain because he wasn’t fully conscious. But at the same time the little part of Jim that she saw in Larissa only reminded her of how much he had become a welcome, beloved part of her life, and how much she wanted him to wake up. And in some ways that was the worst part, because each time she walked into the room she half-expected to see a woken, smiling Jim Halpert.

And every time she was disappointed.

This time she and Larissa looked into the room to see a nurse changing another of Jim’s IV bags (Pam thought this was actually just the simple saline but she supposed any bag could run out). He smiled at them and waved them in, and they took seats out of his way. Pam tried to let Larissa have the seat next to Jim, since she felt like she’d been hogging that spot ever since she’d arrived, but Larissa simply sat down in another chair—and Pam might be polite, but she wasn’t going to do anything so stupid as to leave the spot by Jim empty. Larissa smiled at her hesitation.

“Go on, you know you want to. Anyway, it does me good to see you there.”

“Really?”

“Really. Pam, I don’t know if you realized quite how crazy I was going before you showed up.”

“I don’t think I did, no.”

“Well, I was frantic. And I hadn’t slept or really eaten much or…well, basically I was a mess. And then you showed up. I’ll be honest—if my idiot brother does somehow screw this up with you, don’t think I’m going to let you get away. You’re going to be a Halpert like it or not. You showed up and you’ve been amazing, and I’ve been able to breathe and sleep and everything. So you go on and sit there. You’ve earned it.”

Pam blushed and looked at her feet. You’re going to be a Halpert like it or not. She definitely liked.

“Oh, I suppose I should tell you—I finally got an email back from our parents. They’re in Sydney, desperately trying to change their flight to come back, but there aren’t many flights—something about a storm in the Pacific—so it’ll be a while. And Mark called but there’s not much he can do, he’s still at the wedding, so it’s just you and me. And the big guy of course.” She patted Jim’s knee and eyed Pam. “And everyone’s super glad you’re here. I’m not sure if I was entirely clear last night, but we all knew about Jim’s feelings for you, and everyone is over the moon to know that I managed to get ahold of you. Mark’s exact words were ‘what kind of freaking miracle-worker are you, Larissa?’ So thanks for that too—now everyone thinks I have some kind of magic touch.”

Pam decided she had better things to do with her time than blushing, even if no one had told her face yet.  “I guess you do. By the way, did any of you take the opportunity to tell our favorite idiot that instead of letting you all know how he felt he should maybe have clued me in a little earlier?”

“Hah. As if I told him anything else. But you know him, stubborn little dumbass thought it would magically happen without him doing anything.”

“Don’t you call my Jim a dumbass.”

Pam slapped a hand over her mouth while Larissa burst out laughing. What possessed me to call him my Jim to his own sister of all people? After realizing that nothing in the world had actually exploded from her calling Jim hers—except Larissa’s insides, which were clearly fit to burst—she lowered her hand and said quietly “that’s my job.”

Larissa had almost recovered from her gigglefit, but that sent her back into hysterics. After she finally calmed down she gasped out “And I can’t wait to hear you call him that to his face. Can I be in the room? It’ll be priceless. His face, I mean.”

“I dunno, I think you might cramp my style. Maybe one of those two-way mirror rooms? Like in an interrogation room or a creepy guy’s house?”

“Oh, great idea! I can hide behind the glass and you can have an earpiece and I can tell you how ridiculous he looks.”

“Won’t I be in the room? I think it’ll be pretty obvious how ridiculous he looks.”

“But won’t you want my running commentary on it? After all, you may know Jim now, but only I can tell you whether he looks more or less ridiculous than the time when he went through my backpack at age 16 looking for a Sharpie and I got to tell him what he’d found was actually a tampon.”

“In that case, carry on. In fact, I think I’m going to need a full description of tampongate before we even get to the interrogation room.”

“Deal. I’ll tell you all about it sometime soon—but I think I might want to make sure Jim’s entirely with us before I give you the whole play-by-play. Something tells me his reaction to that would be equally worthwhile.”

“You know it.”

“OK, lunch is going through me a little too fast—sorry, TMI, I know, I don’t have the world’s best filter—so I’m going to hit the head…”

“What are you, a sailor? Did I stumble onto the HMS Halpert by accident?”

Larissa stuck out her tongue. “As I was saying, I’m going to hit the head…” she paused an quirked an eyebrow, then gave Pam a look that said “that’s what I thought” before continuing “and when I get back we’ll look through Facebook on my phone and see what embarrassing childhood photos we can find.”

“Aye, aye, Larissa.”

Pam stuck her tongue out back before Larissa shot her a glare and left the room. Then she scooted the chair closer to Jim’s bedside, grabbed his hand, and started talking to him. It made her feel good to address him, even if she wasn’t sure how much he was all there.

“Hey Jim. I like your sister. A lot. She reminds me of someone I used to know. Really cool guy, kinda lanky, great sense of humor. Maybe you’ve seen him around the office. I know I haven’t recently, because he transferred after I really messed up. He told me he loved me, put it all on the line to let me know how I felt, and I froze. I told him ‘I can’t,’ and I let him think I was going to marry Roy. And then he left, and I realized ‘I can’t’ was totally wrong. Like, completely totally. It’s not just that I can. It’s that I have to. I can’t not. I love you, Jim. I know it’s cheating to tell you when you can’t actually hear me or talk to me or anything, but I do. I love you, I’m in love with you, I need you. And I need you to be OK. I need you to come back. Larissa says you’re going to be OK, and I really want to believe her, but it’s hard when I see you like this. She also says—and you’re going to love this—that I’m going to be a Halpert whether I like it or not. What do you think of that? I think it’s a lot more of a matter of whether you like it or not, because I’m here, Jim. I’m here, and I’m not running away. I need you to meet me halfway, OK? I’m here, I’ll stay, but I need you to come back. I really need you, Jim. I think you might agree with me that it really sucks when someone you love isn’t ready to tell you they love you back. Well, hurry up and wake up, Halpert, because I’m telling you I’m in love with you, and I really need you to say it back.”

Chapter End Notes:
Next time we'll get Jim's dreams while listening to Pam's speech. Thank you to all who've read and reviewed; I love hearing from you all. 

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