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Story Notes:

I don’t own anything related to Taylor Swift or The Office, but I’m a huge fan of both. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Chapter Notes:

Two notes: Yes, we do dispense with Roy with very little fuss, but I think that's what he deserves.

Also, I love writing Kelly. 

 

“Pam, are you coming out after work? Say yes, say yes, say yes!!”

Pam couldn’t help but smile at Kelly’s enthusiasm. If nothing else, the girl knew how to make a person feel wanted.

“I don’t know Kelly. Roy’s going on a bachelor party weekend, so I’d have to go alone.”

“You won’t be alone, silly, you’ll be with me. And Ryan! And basically everybody else from the office.”

Pam looked at Kelly with her pleading smile and considered whether she wanted to go to Poor Richard’s with everyone after work. On the one hand, she’d been looking forward to going home and having some time alone. Maybe starting a new painting, taking a bath, getting to bed early for once. On the other hand, she knew that by 8 o’clock she’d be bored and wishing she’d gone out. And why should she stay home just because Roy wasn’t around?

“Fine, I’ll come. But only for an hour or so.”

“Yay!” Kelly clapped her hands excitedly. “This is going to be awesome Pam! I promise you’re gonna have fun. And oh, hey, some of Ryan’s friends from high school are gonna meet us there, and they’re all pretty hot. Just like Ryan.”

“That’s great, Kelly, but you know, I’m kinda engaged to somebody else,” Pam said, rolling her eyes.

“Pam, you’re engaged, yes. But are you dead? No, I don’t think so. Which means that you can appreciate hot guys. Trust me, it’s gonna be awesome.”

With that, Kelly practically skipped back to her spot in the annex. Pam turned back to her desk, still shaking her head at the simple way that Kelly saw the world. Hot guys. As if. Even if there were hot guys there, they wouldn’t be interested in Pam. Roy was the only remotely attractive guy who’d ever shown any interest in her. She’d been with him so long that she’d never really gotten into the habit of looking at men as attractive or unattractive. Or hot, as Kelly would say.

Well, at least she’d have a drink and a couple of laughs before heading home later. She’d try to sit with Oscar, he was always good for conversation.

A few hours later...

Pam had no idea where her sweater was, and she was hazy on how many drinks she’d had. She was on the tiny dance floor at Poor Richard’s with Kelly and Ryan, and Ryan’s friends from high school. Well, Ryan’s friend, singular. The alleged troupe of hot guys hadn’t shown up. But the one friend who had arrived certainly fit the hot label.

Gorgeous was the word that kept running through Pam’s mind every time she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. Which was about 5 times a minute, let’s be honest. He was tall, with messy hair and these amazing green eyes. He had on a black t-shirt that fit him like a glove, and the best jeans she’d ever seen a guy wear. He wasn’t much of a dancer, but the way he moved was capturing her attention anyway.

But how did she get here? How did she go from her plan to have one drink and talk to her sweet co-worker in the corner to drunk and dancing with a hot stranger?

Pam had arrived at Poor Richard’s with the rest of the crowd from the office, and according to her plan, got a drink and maneuvered to a spot by Oscar. They had just started to discuss the novel Pam was currently reading when Kelly appeared.

“Pam, you’re here! Oh my God, it’s so good to see you!”

“You too Kelly,” said Pam, laughing at the over-excited greeting.

“So, one of Ryan’s friends is here...he’s at the bar with Ryan and he is SO cute! You totally have to dance with him later.”

“Kelly, I don’t think I’m going to be staying long enough to dance...” Pam said, her words trailing away as her eyes caught and held on the man standing beside Ryan, his big hand wrapped around a cold beer. Pam honestly never, ever noticed men. She used to look at men. Well, guys really, back in high school. But once she started seeing Roy, she took herself off the market. She’d once heard that saying, “You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu.” Meaning just because you’re in a relationship doesn't mean you can’t look. But Pam just didn’t seem to have any...appetite any more. She stuck to the same diet and didn’t bother looking at what else was available.

And honestly, she figured at this point men probably weren’t interested in her either. She wouldn't know the first thing about attracting the attention of a man, and she didn’t need to, so why bother?

But this friend of Ryan’s, this man was different. He definitely caught her attention. He just seemed so...relaxed in his own skin as he lounged against the bar, gesturing to the game on TV and talking to Ryan. His hair was a complete mess, but in a way that made her imagine running her fingers through it and messing it up even more.  And then, as she watched, he laughed at something that Ryan said, and as Pam watched him throw back his head and show his perfect white teeth, she felt an unfamiliar jolt pass through her body.

Long moments passed while she stared, before she realized Kelly was talking to her.

“...and they have all these hilarious stories about stuff they did in high school, so you need to come and meet him and hang out with us.”

Pam snapped out of it and realized that Oscar was now deep in conversation with Phyllis. Kelly was waiting impatiently.

“Yeah, ok, I’ll come and meet him,” she said, not moving her eyes too far from him.

“Yay,” shrieked Kelly, clapping her hands for full effect. Pam got to her feet, remembering at the last minute to take her drink with her as Kelly led her over to the bar.

When Kelly made the introduction, Pam didn’t really catch his name. Something like Joe, or Jim. Maybe John? She heard the J sound and then he reached out his hand to shake hers, and he looked right at her and she heard a roaring in her ears. She met his eyes for a moment and then had to look away. He was just...she couldn’t describe it. It’s not like he was the best-looking guy she’d ever seen, but there was something magnetic about him that was throwing her off her axis.

The rational part of her brain was screaming Red Alert, Red Alert. This is not the way a happily engaged woman responds to an attractive man she’s just met. But, Pam reasoned, it’s not like anything was happening. Already he’d turned back to Ryan and started talking about basketball or something.

The hour that Pam had planned to stay at the bar extended into two, then three. Her coworkers drifted out the door until she was left with Kelly, Ryan, and the mysterious man-whose-name-starts-with-J. She had some drinks...the exact number was unclear. Ryan bought a couple of rounds of shots and she happily threw hers back with the rest of the group. Kelly was right, these guys were incredibly funny. Pam couldn’t remember when she’d laughed so hard.

But still, she felt awkward. What was it about this mystery man? He was the complete opposite of Roy physically - tall and lean and rangy, where Roy was solid and stocky. She didn’t know where to look when he talked to her. Between his eyes, his big hands, and his forearms (“Forearms, Pam? Really?” she asked herself. “Since when are forearms a thing for you?”), she basically had to look straight at the table or somewhere way past his head anytime he spoke to her.

After they took the second round of shots, the gorgeous mystery man turned to her and spoke.

“So Pam, did you grow up around here?”

At the sound of her name, she turned in his direction and made the mistake of looking directly at him. His green eyes seemed to look right into her, as if she was the most interesting person he’d ever met. She opened her mouth, but nothing seemed to come out.

“Hey,” he laughed, “It wasn’t a trick question! Just..we’re rambling on with our high school stories. I wondered if I might have crossed paths with you at a party or something.”

The alcohol from the shot kicked in at just the right moment, and Pam found herself able to maintain eye contact, and actually able to speak.

“Yeah, I’m from Scranton...but I didn’t really go to parties in high school.”

“Oh yeah, that’s cool,” he said with a laugh. “You were probably a better student than me. So what did you do instead of partying?”

“I, um, well...I hung out in the art room a lot. And I babysat for my neighbor’s kids most weekends.”

“Oh, an art student huh? Do you still do anything like that?”

Pam opened her mouth to answer, and then realized what was happening. She was about to tell this incredibly cute guy, who she didn’t even know, all about her current art projects. Uh uh, this was way too personal. Plus he was probably bored already. Add to that the fact that she’d been looking right at him for a few moments, and she was starting to feel like her heartbeat was visible through her sweater.

“Uh, no, not really. Hey Kelly, want to come to the bathroom with me?”

She stood up, and moved away from the table, letting out a sigh and realizing she’d been holding her breath. She was beginning to feel like an idiot about this guy, and that wasn’t sitting well with her.

When somebody put money in the jukebox and started playing old 80s songs, the four of them decided that they absolutely had to dance. They laughed and goofed around and yelled out the lyrics at the top of their lungs. The mystery man grabbed Pam’s hand, and spun her around, grinning at her with that amazing smile. Pam felt a wave of heat run through her body, and her hand tingled where he was holding it. She looked away and let her hand drop, her body still moving to the music but her mind racing. She felt confused, but so exhilarated...and alive. She didn’t want to question it, she just wanted to enjoy it.

When the song ended and they all staggered back to their table, Pam wondered why she never had fun like this anymore. Oh yeah. Roy. She was engaged. She’d been having a great time all night with Ryan and Kelly and some gorgeous guy whose name she didn’t even know, and now she remembered that this wasn’t her real life. This was just a moment out of time. That sobering thought made her decide that she needed another drink.

She stood at the bar trying to catch the bartender’s attention, and felt someone beside her. Turning, she realized it was him. Ryan’s friend. The way he was standing so close made her feel jumpy. She really wished she’d heard his name when they were introduced. Before she could speak, someone pushed him from behind and he fell toward her, his entire body pressing against her for a long moment before he pushed back again.

“Hey, whoa, sorry about that! It’s getting rowdy in here,” he smiled down at her. He was tall. Oh my God, he was really tall. For a moment, Pam looked up at him and the crazy thought entered her mind that if they were going to kiss, he’d need to bend down. She shook her head to clear it - what the hell was wrong with her?

“Um, so, I’m engaged,” she said, waving her left hand between them. Where did that come from? her inner voice panicked. As if this guy cares whether you’re available or not.

He stepped back a little more, and looked toward the bartender. “Uh, yeah, I think I heard that. Congratulations.” His voice was low and flat, and he wasn’t smiling anymore.

What is wrong with you? Pam mentally berated herself. A guy is friendly to you and you act like he’s trying to take you home. This is why you shouldn’t go out in the first place.

Mercifully the bartender looked her way, and once she had her beer in hand, she moved away, never looking at Ryan’s friend as she did so.

That last drink was the one that took her from happily buzzed to feeling drunk. As the group of four sat at their table, Mr. No-Name said something and gave a little shrug with a twist of his mouth. He’d been doing this all night, and every time he did, Pam got a jolt of electricity low in her belly. And that suddenly pissed her off. How dare this random guy - this funny, gorgeous guy - make her feel this...yearning? Downing the last mouthful in her glass, she turned to Kelly and Ryan and imitated the face that Joe/Jim/John had just made. “What does this mean anyway?” she said in a mocking voice with a hint of malice. “What’s with this face?”

Of course Kelly and Ryan thought it was hilarious, and fell against each other laughing.

“Jim, my man, you DO make that face a lot. She’s not wrong!” Ryan laughed, shoving his friend on the shoulder.

Jim - that was his name. Jim was now rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and looking at Pam with a strange expression, as if he was unpleasantly surprised to be made fun of by the quiet girl. Immediately Pam felt bad, although through the haze of alcohol she wasn’t sure what to do about that. What did she care anyway? He was just some overly tall, extremely cute guy that she’d never see again. And he was making her uncomfortable, although she couldn’t put her finger on the reason why.

Pam turned away from him, and looked at Kelly. “Hey, I think I better get a cab and head home. I’ll see you Monday?”

 ****************************

But Pam didn’t go to work on Monday, because on Sunday, Roy came home from the bachelor party weekend and dropped a bomb on her life.

She’d had a pretty decent hangover on Saturday morning, and although lots of things were hazy, Jim was crystal clear in her mind. What was it about that guy? Pam found herself bringing his face to her mind more than once over the weekend, and getting that feeling in her belly every time. What was it about him that was so different from the many other men she’d encountered in her life? The thought came to her that even Roy didn’t give her that feeling, but she quickly dismissed it. Roy was her fiance, not just some guy in a bar, of course he didn’t make her feel uncomfortable and shy.

She clearly remembered making fun of Jim and she felt a pang of guilt about that. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but it hadn’t been nice. And if nothing else, Pam always tried to be nice.

When Roy got home she knew right away that something was off with him. It didn’t take long for him to collapse, sobbing in her arms and confess the whole thing. He and the guys had gone out to a bar, he’d met a girl and ended up having sex with her in the back seat of her car.

“I was so drunk babe, and I didn’t know what I was doing,” Roy sobbed, as Pam stood and crossed her arms, looking at him in disgust.

“It didn’t mean anything!” he wailed. “It was just meaningless sex. And she wasn’t even that hot,” he tacked on desperately.

“Ugh, Roy, how could you?” Pam wailed, her eyes filling with tears. “After all this time, how could you?” She was hurt, and heartbroken, and frankly, disgusted. After all these years, how could Roy just throw it all away on some bimbo in the backseat of a car?

Amidst the pain, she had a strange sense of calm. And also a feeling that this had been inevitable. She somehow wasn’t surprised, and she wasn’t ready to examine that feeling too closely right now. In the past she’d wondered if Roy had ever cheated, but now she saw that he probably hadn’t because his conscience wouldn’t let him keep it a secret. All she knew in this moment is that she and Roy were through. Above all, Pam valued loyalty, and she’d always said she would never stand for cheating.

“Babe, please, I feel terrible about it, it’ll never happen again.”

“You’re right Roy, it won’t, because we’re done.”

There was more drama, and tears, and even anger and disbelief, but once Pam said the words, she didn’t take them back.

She called in sick on Monday. And on Tuesday, and for the rest of the week. She told Michael she was having a family crisis, which was pretty much true. Roy was supposed to be her family, and breaking up with him was definitely a crisis.

She spent the week dismantling her life with him, getting an apartment - how convenient of him to cheat on her near the end of the month - and figuring out what she was going to do next. Although she was sad and scared and heartbroken, she also felt a sense of peace. And relief, although she didn’t know where that was coming from. She’d always thought that Roy was the one for her, but now that she’d found that he wasn’t, she felt lighter somehow. She was too wrapped up in all of this to give another thought to gorgeous men with messy hair, and she’d pretty much forgotten about that night out. It seemed so long ago now.

When the following Monday rolled around, she headed to work, feeling shaky, but ready to face the world. She’d only been behind the reception desk for a few minutes when she heard the front door open. Instinctively she looked up, and then she gasped in surprise. Ryan’s friend Jim was standing there, wearing a suit and carrying a messenger bag, his hair only slightly less messy than the last time she’d seen him.

“Hey Pam,” he said with a big smile that dazzled her eyes, “Fancy meeting you here.”

“What are you doing here?” Pam blurted, too shocked to say good morning, and feeling blinded by the sight of the man in front of her.

“I’m here to start my new job. It’s my first day of work at Dunder-Mifflin,” said Jim, and then God damn the man, he shrugged and made the same face that Pam had mocked at the bar.

Chapter End Notes:
More to come very soon.

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