Thursday morning found Pam idly passing time at the reception desk, when she received an email from human resources, cc’d was Jan Levinson-Gould. Pam was apprehensive about what such an email could contain, because it was sent directly to her personal mailbox as opposed to the reception account. It turned out that Pam was being offered a new job title, Administrative assistant. Pam took a few minutes just to let the offer sink in, and then started looking at the details. On top of a fancy new title, which was admittedly meaningless – except that it wasn’t receptionist, Pam would be in a salaried position as opposed to her hourly pay as receptionist, have slightly better benefits coverage, and have some of her unofficial duties related to Michael wrangling be made official. As far as Pam could tell the salary was an effective raise for her of somewhere around four dollars per hour, which was very generous. Pam didn’t realise that she was smiling until her cheeks started hurting as she had to reread the offer several times just to make sure that she wasn’t missing anything. Below the offer from human resources Pam noticed a message from Jan.

‘Hello Pam,

I hope this offer finds you well. We at the corporate offices have been repeatedly impressed with your efficiency and initiative well in excess of your current role in the company. It is with great pleasure that I put your name forward for consideration for this new position. As you may have guessed from the description that human resources has put together, the job encompasses everything you already do, but with the opportunity for more responsibilities down the road as we learn how the new position best fits within the organization. I hope you find the offer to your liking, and I look forward to working with you in your new capacity should you choose to accept it.

Sincerely,

Jan Levinson-Gould

V.P. Sales’

Jim looked up from his computer and saw a look of dazed happiness on Pam’s face. She was staring at something on her computer screen, reading it intently. Jim looked back down to his computer to finish entering the order he was working on, and when he looked back up Pam’s look of shock had been replaced with a wide smile, and her eyes met his, beckoning him over.

“I got a job offer,” Pam said in an excited whisper when Jim leaned against her counter.

Jim couldn’t help the flash of disappointment that washed over his features, but he quickly plastered on a smile hoping that Pam wouldn’t notice. Or maybe he wished that she did notice, but if she noticed and didn’t say anything, then wasn’t that worse? Regardless, Jim should be happy for her, she was his best friend first, secret target of unrequited love second.

“That’s great,” Jim managed with a smile that felt too wide, “What is it?”

Pam had seen the sadness roll across Jim’s face for a split second before he donned the mask of supportive best friend. Why would Jim be sad about her getting a promotion?

“It’s a title change to Administrative Assistant,” Pam explained, trying to quell whatever was going behind Jim’s strained smile, “It’s pretty much everything I do right now, but it pays more and its salaried,” she finished enthusiastically.

Jim’s heart was plummeting. This was it; Pam was leaving Dunder Mifflin, she would no longer be the face that he saw for eight hours a day. Sure, they had just started hanging out with each other outside of work, but would they keep that up if she moved to a different job?

Pam noticed the corners of Jim’s mouth fall a little before he asked, “Where is it?” and everything clicked into place.

“Oh,” Pam said aloud, connecting the dots in her head.

Jim had thought that she meant she got a job somewhere else, and that was why he wasn’t over the moon like her right now. What did it mean that Jim would be disappointed thinking about her leaving? Was that like a ‘best friend, I’ll miss you’ sort of thing, or something else? Pam’s thoughts were interrupted when Jim spoke again.

“Earth to Beesly,” he said, pulling her up from her thoughts, “Where’s the job?”

“Sorry, got distracted,” Pam blushed, “It’s here Jim, Jan just sent me the email.”

The “Oh thank god,” was out of Jim’s mouth before he registered it, and he struggled to backpedal, “Because – Who would help me keep Dwight in line if you left,” he finished awkwardly with a rub to the back of his neck.

Pam noticed the relief wash over Jim’s face, the mask fading away for a second before it slipped back on after she told him it was here. He was suddenly much more relaxed and started asking her all sorts of questions and congratulating her repeatedly, even though Receptionist and Administrative Assistant essentially meant the same thing. This was one of the things that Pam loved about Jim though, he was always there to encourage her.

At the end of the day, no matter in what form Jim had feelings for her, it warmed Pam’s heart to know that he did care about her. Pam didn’t let her thoughts go further than that as she laid in bed that night, skirting around the deep pit of doubts like ‘Does he like me, like me,’ and ‘Do you like him? You know you checked him out at the basketball game, right? When you were still with Roy?’. Pam shut those thoughts down as she screwed her eyes closed, returning to the warmth in Jim’s eyes as he praised her accomplishment earlier today, and fell asleep.

Friday passed by without incident, and the weekend found Pam talking on the phone with Larissa as she walked Nikita back from the park after her run. Larissa asked about her week, and Pam told of her impending promotion that she had accepted Thursday and was effective as soon as HR and accounting were on the same page. She agreed to meet up with Larissa at the mall later for some ‘Retail Relationship Building’ as Larissa called it, to spend money that she didn’t really have yet.

Shopping with Larissa was fun. Pam had never been particularly a fan, but Larissa made good company, and pushed her ever so slightly out of her comfort zone, making her try on bright colours and less conservative cuts. Pam walked away with a few new outfits for work, none of them contained a button-down blouse, and she considered this a victory on the road to living for herself.

The next week, when Pam made the mistake of mentioning her shopping trip with Larissa to Kelly, she was steamrolled into agreeing to wear some of her new outfits to work, which she hadn’t done yet. Pam started to and noticed that while the first few days were particularly horrible with the increased male attention, it had mostly worn off by the second week.

Pam developed a routine in the following weeks, going out for runs with Nikita every other day, groceries on Tuesdays, playing with Nikita in the park on Saturdays – sometimes joined by Jim, Larissa, or both, followed every other week by a movie at her place or Jim’s.

The first week of June saw the addition of her two-month mixed media class to her routine, Monday through Wednesday in the evenings after supper for three hours. Pam was somewhat disappointed by the small proportion of painting and sketching content, but was glad that corporate was subsidising the class, and so she resolved to save up to take real art courses in the future, grateful for the raise that she had been given enabling her to do so. She also tried experimenting with doing her hair and makeup differently, trying to tamp down on the imposter syndrome she felt every time that she walked into that classroom looking bland, the same as always, longing to visually signify the changes that she felt inside of her.

Pam was having the best summer of her life, and while she and Jim hung out more and more outside of work, it frustrated her that she still could not muster the courage to just flat out ask Jim what his feelings were. The closer they seemed to get, the harder it was for Pam to justify ruining the relationship that they had, and so she spun in endless circles in her mind all summer, and as the Dundies and the film crew’s return fast approached, she wondered how long she could keep it up before she just spontaneously combusts.

This summer had been the best worst summer of Jim’s life. His best friend, who he was in love with, and had been engaged to another man, had broken it off. She had then proceeded to cry on his shoulder and lean on him through the hard times, before pulling through the other end a stronger and more beautiful version of herself. She had gotten a promotion slash raise, started taking art classes, and hung out with him outside of work with increasing frequency. The problem was he couldn’t just tell her that he was in love with her because he was so afraid the longer their friendship went on that it was purely platonic for her. She hadn’t made any noises about dating again, but Jim was terrified of the day, almost sure that it was coming as he watched her grow into trying new hairstyles, wearing different makeup, and reinventing her wardrobe with the help of Kelly and Larissa. Jim had long since lost track of his ‘Is she/Isn’t she’ mental list, because it had gotten so convoluted that he had mentally trashed it and instead just didn’t read into anything she said or did anymore, too afraid that he would destroy their friendship that meant so much to them both.

This didn’t stop Jim’s heart for beating faster with every hug or kiss on the cheek, as the became more frequent towards the end of the summer. Jim was so torn up inside with indecision. The cameras would be coming back soon, and he didn’t want to start anything with them around. Jim owed it to Pam not to let any more of her life’s drama get captured to be put on a TV screen.

Jim felt like his skin would literally burst open at any minute with all of the feelings that he was bottling up inside, and when Michael reminded him that the Dundies were next week, he was sure that Pam was probably in for even more televised embarrassment. If he knew anything about Michael, her Dundie would probably be something stupidly insensitive like ‘Runaway Bride’.

Somehow, wanting to save Pam public embarrassment turned into a lunch with Michael at hooters, where he tried to subtly steer Michael away from whatever he was thinking of giving her for an award. He gave Michael a few ideas to choose from, and when Michael was particularly taken with one Jim let out a mental sigh of relief. Jim was sure that it would be worth it to see the look on her face next week when she received it.