Pam crossed the parking lot with her gaze locked forward, refusing to let her resolve falter. She set her mouth in a firm line as she got close enough to the truck to see Roy tapping the wheel impatiently, and opened the passenger door to climb in.

“Come on Pam, you know we have to be at Darryl’s for six tonight, what took you so long,” Roy complained as soon as she was seated.

“I’m not going to Darryl’s with you, Roy,” Pam said, shooting him an incredulous look.

“C’mon, you can’t seriously still be hung up on that Katy comment, can you,” Roy asked with a look of confusion on his face.

“Roy, I gave you back the ring, I thought that was as clear as I would have to be,” Pam said with a sigh. This was so not going to be the quick and painless conversation she had hoped for.

“Pam, seriously we’re going to be late,” Roy tried to explain.

“Roy what part of this do you not understand? I broke up with you, we are done. You can drop me off before you go,” Pam said with increasing frustration.

“Seriously Pam –,” Roy started, but Pam interrupted him.

“Could we not have this conversation in the parking lot Roy? We can continue this at h- at the apartment.” Pam caught herself before she said home, because she wasn’t sure if she could deal with the idea that the home she had made with him meant nothing now, and turned away to stare out the passenger side window.

“Whatever Pammy,” Roy said with a huff and put the truck in gear.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that Roy, I hate that name,” Pam said exasperatedly, turning back towards Roy in annoyance.

“Sorry, forgot,” was all Roy had to say in his defense.

Pam could not believe him, and shot back, “Yeah, you seem to forget a lot of things in our relationship, like the fact that we were engaged.”

Roy didn’t have a comeback for this, and the rest of the ride was spent in uncomfortable silence. Pam noticed that Roy kept stealing glances at her, seemingly realising finally that he had messed up and this was for real. Upon arriving at their apartment, Pam was first in the door as Roy had hung back to get his bag out of the back of the truck.

Pam sat heavily at the kitchen table with a sigh and turned towards Roy who was idling awkwardly in the entryway.

“Come on Roy,” Pam said tiredly, “we might as well get this over with.”

Roy trudged over and sat down across from her with a sigh, “I just don’t get it Pam, things were doing ok until today, why end it now?”

Pam shook her head as she replied, “Really Roy? How have things been going well? I’ve been trying to get you to commit to a wedding date for three years, and today you cleared everything up for me. Answer me this Roy, did you really ever see yourself as my husband, or did you see me as your wife?”

“What, that’s the same the same thing,” Roy said, not seeing the point.

“It’s not though Roy, to me it’s a big difference. It’s the difference between putting me first, and whatever our relationship has been for the last three years,” Pam said, trying to explain to Roy how she didn’t feel like a valued partner in their relationship.

“Pam, please, just put your ring back on,” Roy pleaded, “I can do better, we can work on this.”

“If you want me to wear that ring again you’re going to have to start over and propose again,” Pam said with a slow shake of her head, “and if I’m being honest with you, I don’t think I’ll be saying yes again.”

“So that’s it then,” Roy said with a hint of anger, “ten years means nothing to you? You’re just going to throw it all away?”

“It doesn’t mean nothing to me Roy, how could you say that?” Pam asked, starting to tear up, “I love you, and your family has become my family, I don’t want to throw that all away but I can’t keep doing this, I’m just not in love with you anymore,” Pam finished and started to sob, heaves wracking her body.

Pam had just admitted to Roy something that she hadn’t even admitted to herself yet, that they had just been going through the motions for years now, and it devastated her to think of all the time they had wasted together being unhappy. And so, she wept. Roy came around the table to hold her, and she let it happen, because this was goodbye. She was done and now he knew, she just hoped that he didn’t hate her for it.

“What are we going to do Pam,” Roy asked, whispering into the hair on top of her head as he held her, sounding as unsure and afraid as she did.

“I don’t know,” Pam said with a trembling voice, “find an apartment I can afford, move out,” Pam trailed off and paused, then said, “maybe get a dog,” with a small laugh that ended as a sob.

With a final squeeze of her shoulders, Roy disentangled himself from her and took a step back, rubbing the back of his neck.

“So I guess now would be a good time to tell you,” Roy trailed off as Pam looked up at him expectantly, “I may have lost your ring after you left he kitchen at work, so, you don’t have to worry about me re-proposing any time soon,” he finished with a sad smile and Pam laughed for the first time that evening, Roy’s smile grew a little.

She should be furious Pam told herself, that Roy had lost the ring, but honestly, she was just relieved. She was also glad that he hadn’t been angry, although if that was yet to come or not remained to be seen.

“Thanks,” was all Pam could think to say to that, as she sat in the kitchen with her ex-fiancé, joking about losing her engagement ring.

“Listen, Pam, I think I’m going to head over to Darryl’s now, I’ll pack a bag and stay with him or Kenny for a few days until this,” Roy said as he waved his hand around to indicate the apartment, “is all figured out.”

“Ok,” Pam said with a nod. She was so relieved that he had volunteered to go someplace else, she didn’t really have family close by that she could stay with.

As Pam watched Roy pack, she felt a wave of calm. They would figure things out, she was going to be ok. The hardest part seemed to be over, now she just had to live independently for the first time in her life. Admittedly, Pam thought, that was a scary idea. She should call her mom, she realised suddenly, as she hadn’t talked to her yet today with the mess it had been.

As Roy walked by and out the door, she gave him a small wave and he returned it with a small nod, and then he was gone. Pam heard the noise of the truck start to fade away and it was then that she came to another realisation – she didn’t have a car to get to work tomorrow. Pam resolved to call Jim and ask if he could give her a ride after she called her mom, who Pam decided she would call after she ate supper.

Pam proceeded to have some leftover chicken with spaghetti for supper, cleaned up, and got settled in on the couch in the living room with a box of tissue to call her mom. Pam explained the breakup to her mom and admitted that she hadn’t had much time to look at apartments yet, and she hadn’t even though of a car until earlier in the evening. Helene assured Pam that she and Will would be down as soon as they could on Saturday to go looking for apartments, and time permitting maybe a few cars as well. Pam thanked her mom for coming down on such short notice, and Helene handed the phone over to Will. Will asked where she was staying in the meantime and Pam told him that Roy was out for a few days while she got her stuff together to move, that seemed to satisfy her dad and she was handed back to her mom. After reassuring her mom that she was doing ok for now, no she did not need to drive down tonight, she said goodnight to her parents and ended the call. Glancing up at the clock showed it to be just before nine.

Pam figured that nine was still a decent hour to call someone on a work night, and so she hit 4 to speed dial Jim on her cell and waited as the phone rang through.

“Dunder Mifflin after hours, this is Jim,” he answered with a smile in his voice.

“Hey Jim, it’s me, Pam calling.”

“I know, caller display is an amazing technology, ever heard of it?”

“No, I can’t say that I have, what’s it do?”

“Well you see when somebody on your contacts list calls you – it tells you who is calling, imagine that,” Jim says with a chuckle.

“Right, I knew that. Uh, anyway I called to ask a favour…”

“Shoot.”

“I know it’s kind of out of the way for you, and I don’t want to impose…”

“Go on…”

“Would you be willing to give me a ride in to work tomorrow?”

Jim pauses before replying, “Sure, what time do you want me to swing by?”

“Does eight thirty work? I don’t want you to have to get up too much earlier than usual…”

“Sure, but I have to ask,” Jim pauses and starts to chuckle, “why are you so concerned to get into work on a Saturday morning?”

“What? I thought tomorrow was Friday!”

“No way Beesly, unless this is Groundhog Day, today was Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday,” Jim manages to get out while laughing.

“Ugh, I am such a mess right now. Thanks for cluing me in Jim.”

“Any time Bees, anyway, how are you doing? Wanna talk about it or…”

“Well, I’ve only cried three times since you last saw me so… all things considered I’m doing ok,” Pam says cheerily.

“That’s good to hear… how are things, with Roy?”

“Well… we broke up again, and he’s staying with Darryl or Kenny or someone for a few days, so I guess about as good as you could expect.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Pam, it must have been rough.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it, really Jim I do, you’ve been a rockstar for me through this so far.”

“Anytime Pam. So, I take it you need to find a new apartment?”

“Yeah, and a car. My parents are coming down tomorrow morning to help me with that… it will be an adventure.”

“I bet, but it’ll be nice to have them around won’t it? They live like two hours away if I remember correctly right?”

“Yeah, it will be, you’re right.”

“Right on, well, let me know if you need anything else this weekend ok? I’m just a call away. Oh, and let me know if you need a ride for Monday at some point!”

“Will do, thanks Jim. Goodnight.”

“G’night Pam.”

There was a pause as neither of them hung up immediately, “No you hang up!” Pam said with a giggle before caving and bringing the phone away from her ear to end the call.

Pam sighed and heaved herself up from the couch, she was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed now. She trudged to the bedroom, changed, brushed her teeth, and washed her face before settling in bed. For the worst day in her life, Pam thought to herself as she lay down, it didn’t go nearly as badly as it could have. Here’s hoping that tomorrow was better and that she had somewhere to live by next week. Pam settled in under the covers and sleep quickly overtook her.