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Casino night had been a bust and rather than going home to have a self pity party over his life being over, he made a stop at Poor Richards. A little (or a lot) of beer wouldn’t hurt anymore than his heart did after the beating it had taken in the last hour. He’d experienced physical pain that was easier than this emotional torment.


Parking his car in a haste, he made his way into the smoke-filled bar. He tried to get his mind off of her, thinking of anything and everything. He pondered why other patrons were here tonight. Had their heart been broken too? Had they given up everything causing them to lose it all so quickly? Did they also enjoy drowning their sorrows in cheap alcohol to numb their pain? Glancing around the room and seeing numerous people laughing and socializing, he guessed not.


He headed towards the bar to get two Blue Moon’s knowing good and well one wouldn’t do the trick and he’d more than likely still find himself at the bar after he’d drank these two, the world not quite hazy enough to provide him with a soft altered reality for a bit.


Setting up the tab and making his way to the back of the room, he found a table for two and chuckled at the irony. She’d never be his and he reasoned he’d be miserable for the rest of his life. Maybe moving wouldn’t be so bad. Every shred of this old coal-mining town was saturated with memories of her. Her sweet smile, infectious laugh, and beautiful mind were around every corner he turned.


He always knew he was way in over his head in his feelings for her, but verbalizing it tonight had made it that more real and ultimately devastated his heart.


He watched in disgust as the couples around him flirted with each other and took note of those who looked single and desperate. He knew if Mark had been here, he’d tell him to take home one of the single ladies in here. Yet, he knew in his heart he could never do that to her. His heart belonged to her for as long as humanly possible or until it felt like the rope that tied them together frayed and released their grips from one another.


Aside from couples and singles looking for their next Friday night date, there were a few others looking as pitiful as him, sitting at two person tables, involved in their own nightmarish thoughts. He was absolutely thrilled to now be one of them. At what point had he gone from single, somewhat liveable Jim, to single and miserable? Oh right, when Pam entered his life and messed it all up.


Half way through the second beer he started to get angry, feeling the effects of the alcohol pulsing through his bloodstream. He’d done absolutely everything for her. Given her what she’d needed. Been the nice guy when he should have been the assertive guy and told her how he felt long ago. Then maybe he wouldn’t be sitting in here trying to fit in with everyone in the bar tonight.


The jukebox started playing some country song and he got lost in his thoughts which flipped between angry, sad, and lonely as fast the bartender poured out the drinks.


He focused his attention back to the music and felt his stomach drop with each lyric.


I think of two young lovers running wild and free

I close my eyes and sometimes see

You in the shadows of that smoke-filled room

No telling how many tears I've sat here and cried

Or how many lies that I've lied

Telling my poor heart

She’ll come back someday


Oh, but I'll be alright as long as there's light from a neon moon

Oh, if you lose your one and only

There's always room here for the lonely

To watch your broken dreams dance in and out of the beams

Of a neon moon


The jukebox plays on drink by drink

And the words to every sad song seem to say what I think

And this pain inside of me

It ain't never gonna end

Oh, but I'll be alright

As long as there's light

From a neon moon


His stomach was in knots. Was it possible to have a song precisely describe your innermost thought? Even if it was, Jim was done. Over this place. Over Scranton. One way or the other, he’d also get over her.


He tipped the beer bottle back to finish it up as the song merged into the some top 40’s garbage the college girl near the jukebox had put on. The beer bottle hitting the table startled him, but not as much as the girl who entered the bar and found his eyes staring back at her.


His efforts to get drunk failed him as his body sobered up and grew clammy at what he saw walking towards him, hand holding hand in awkwardness. 


She made her way to his table, the soft blue making her eyes twinkle as she neared and he felt his throat go dry.


“Jim…” she started, glancing down at the two bottles before meeting his eyes again.


He wanted to tell her to stop. He wanted to assure her everything was fine. He wanted to leave her and never see her heartbreakingly gorgeous face, eyes, or lips ever again. If his brain could communicate with his legs, he’d be brushing past her in no time and on his way to bigger and better things.


She stepped forward taking his hands in hers. Her eyes looked up at his like they had when he’d held her an hour before. Feeling breathless, he let her continue to see what her grand move would be. Just once. Her eyes filled with tears, some breaking over the barrier and streaking down her soft cheeks. He felt fireworks going off at her touch and the urge to wipe the tears away that he knew he was causing.


She leaned up, her right hand reaching behind his neck to gently pull his lips towards hers. Kissing him softly, she moved back slightly and changed his life completely. 


“I can.”



beth9501 is the author of 11 other stories.

This story is part of the series, Country Songs. The next story in the series is Everywhere But On.

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