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“Um, I don’t know Mom, he’s my best friend.”

“Yeah, he’s great.”

“Yeah, I think I am.” Jim heard her talking as he rounded the corner. Hands in his pockets, he continued walking toward her.

“Um, I have to go. I will.” She hung up the phone, breathing shakily as she turned to face him. “Listen, Jim --”

And then it happened. His lips were pressed against hers and her mind suddenly went blank.

Pam had been kissed before, but never like this. Every nerve ending in her body lit up like a Christmas tree as his long arms snaked their way around her back, pulling her into him. A warmth spread through her as he pulled away slightly, parting his lips. Her limbs moving on their own accord, she brought her mouth to his, as her hands fell on either side of his face. Her mind was buzzing at the feeling. He left her with one small final kiss as she pulled away from him. She opened her eyes to look into his.

“Jim,” She paused as her hands fell from his face and slid down his chest, “I can’t…”

The final pang of pain hit his chest as the words fell from her lips.

“You’re really gonna marry him?” He asked. She stared at him blandly. Not moving. Not answering. He knew this was the last ditch effort of a desperate man. He knew she would undoubtedly reject him. He also knew if he didn’t try everything he could, he would never know for sure. And that little glimmer of possibility was extinguished as he released his hold on her. He trailed his hands down her arms, trying to savor the final touches of her skin that he could. He held onto her hands a beat longer than he should have, trying to quell the tear he could feel tugging at the corner of his eye. He tried to look into her eyes again, but her gaze had drifted to the floor.

But then, as he went to pull away, her fingertips tightened around his. He looked at their hands, then at her face. She slowly looked up to him. With his hands still in hers, Pam guided them back around her, falling on the small of her back. She placed her head against his chest as she mirrored him, placing her arms underneath his to wrap around his tall frame.

This was almost worse than just simply pulling away from her. A final embrace? Really? A pity hug? Whatever it was, it made him feel awful. But the masochist in him could not bring himself to pull away. He would take any bit of Pam he could get. Even if it was in a goodbye.

Pam didn’t want to lose him. He was her best friend, the only person she could be wholly herself with, and the idea of that ending was ripping a hole in her heart. She held him close, not wanting to let go. Memories flashed behind her closed eyes of years of pranks, laughter, jello, yogurt, and grape soda. His laugh was her favorite sound in the world. The idea of not hearing it, or only getting a forced awkward chuckle to cut the tension of life after his confession made her queasy.

She tightened her arms around him. When he did the same, her mind went blank, and her body numb. She pulled away just enough to look up at him. His nose only a few inches from hers. He sadly looked into her eyes. Then, he saw the change. It happened in an instant, her eyes were concerned, but relaxed. Almost calm. And then, they glazed. And her eyes shifted to his lips. She again brought her mouth to his, closing her eyes. This time was different, there was a slight force behind her lips and his body stilled, not knowing what to do.

Her mind was numb, the only thing powering her movements was the buzzing she could feel radiating inside her. She couldn’t think, she could only feel. Slowly, her hands slid from the small of his back, around to the front of his chest. She broke from the kiss, her eyes still closed, her nose adjacent to his. The buzz in her body intensified as she felt his breath on her lips. Then her hands were in his hair, and her parted lips were against his. She raised herself to her toes to kiss him deeper and his arms tightened around her more for support. It wasn’t until her tongue darted out to touch his top lip, did he falter. The sensation made his knees go weak and he leaned forward to his desk to keep from falling over. As he did, his cup of pens and pencils fell over, clattering onto the desk.

Pam broke from her intoxicated trance, moving away, but still holding onto his arms. Now he could see the concern return to her eyes. He could see the recognition of what she had just done.

“Oh, my God.” She stated flatly, guilt flooding her tone. She forcefully pushed away from him and hurriedly walked into the conference room.

Jim’s hands fell to his desk. He was still reveling in the lingering feel of her mouth on his. His heart was pounding, not expecting a kiss of that intensity to be initiated by her. He paused before taking a breath and turning to the conference room to see her pacing. Three steps one way, three steps back. One forearm pressed across her stomach, the other on top, biting one nail on her nimble hand. Immediately, he came back to best friend mode.

His feelings for her aside, his best friend had just broken her future husband’s trust, and knowing her better than she may know herself, that revelation was going to affect her far worse than hurting his own feelings. He thought about turning and walking away; save himself from any more rejection.

He couldn’t leave her like this.

He walked into the door frame of the conference room as she turned on her heel to continue pacing.

“Pam?” He tried cautiously, hoping she would stop. She didn't. Lost in her thoughts, her feet kept moving.

“Pam.” he tried again, more forcefully this time, and she stopped, turning to look at him, her eyes watery and anxious.

Now his tone softened. “Pam.” He tilted his head slightly, wanting more than anything to wipe the pained look off her face. But he was unmoving, not wanting to make this worse.

She closed her eyes, a small tear, falling down her cheek. “Close the door.” She said quietly. Confused, he did as she said. He took a step into the conference room, closing the door behind him. She leaned against the table in the center of the room, arms still crossed. They stayed like this for a moment, neither one of them sure what to do next.

Suddenly, she was up from the table and in his arms. She had crashed so quickly into him, he had to take a step back as he wrapped his arms around her. She tightly wound her arms around his torso, holding on for dear life as she silently cried. He held her tighter as he rubbed his thumb at her back.

She didn’t know why she was crying. The guilt of what had happened was eating at her, sure. The idea that their dynamic had changed forever was terrifying her. The thought that their friendship could not recover from this was a very real possibility. There were so many emotions flooding her being, but she could only think about one thing; Jim’s lips on hers. She could only think about chasing that feeling that made her entire body go numb with warmth. And it was only Jim that could make her feel it.

After a minute, her tears subsided. He noticed the change, heard her quiet sobs disappear, and he was relieved. She again shut her mind off, just wanting to feel. He tensed when she moved her hand from his back to the door knob behind him, locking it.

He looked down at her with confused eyes. She stared at him for a moment, then simply closed her eyes and kissed him again, her hands traveled up his back, pressing her body into his, and he could barely breathe. He gently placed both hands on either side of her face, mentally scolding himself for pulling her away. She opened her eyes, her face still in his hands, as the last of her tears dried from her cheeks.

“Pam.” He said for the fourth time. Every time he said her name it sent electricity down her spine. “What are you doing?” He asked her.

She paused trying to formulate an answer. She had given up on thinking, but if she tried to connect the dots, she knew exactly what she was doing, and why.

“Making a choice.” She said as she ignored the hold he still had on her and moved into him once more. This time, she was fearless as she kissed him and grazed her tongue across his top lip. This time, he didn’t hold back the breathy moan that escaped his throat as she pressed him into the door. This time, she was not going to break from the trance the buzzing sensation created throughout her body.

This time, he didn’t stop her.

His hands ran down her body, landing on her hips. He pulled her into him, not breaking the kiss. Her hands ran up the length of his chest before landing on the collar of his shirt. She moved her lips to his cheek, then to his jaw, then his neck where she left wet kisses down his throat. He tried stifling his groans to no avail and each sound he made tugged deep at the desire igniting in her belly.

She pulled his collar down just enough to expose the soft skin at the base of his neck, before darting her tongue out to taste the hollow of his collar bone. He leaned his head back against the door, his mind going numb. He was shocked out of the trance however, when her hand slid down his chest and brushed over his growing erection beneath the fabric of his slacks. His eyes shot open, suddenly very aware that Pam was touching him and this was not, in fact, a dream.

His hands shot to her shoulders as he reversed their positions pinning her to the door. His breath was ragged and his eyes wide as he looked into her eyes. The cloudiness was dissipating from her own as he asked her again. “Pam, what are you doing?”

She stared at him, and feeling the solid door behind her seemed to bring her back to reality. She swallowed hard. She was kissing Jim, was what she was doing.

She was kissing Jim.

She was engaged.

To be married in a month.

What was she doing?

She began to look down, staring into the distance. Trying to say the words out loud. Words she had thought about for too long, but never let herself actually say. Saying the words made it real. It made it true.

She took a shaky breath as Jim let go of her shoulders, taking a step away.

“I don’t want to marry Roy.” She said flatly, staring at the floor.

The rush that Jim felt at hearing her words was indescribable. For years he had been waiting to hear her utter those words. His head felt light and his knees almost gave way.

“Okay.” He said, trying to sound as level as he could. She raised her eyes slowly to look at him.

She didn’t need to say the words, her look said it all. Jim knew if she came at him again, that that was it. He wouldn’t be able to stop. She took a step towards him and he took a step back. He tried to form the words, any words along the lines of “Wait.” “Stop.” “Go home and talk to Roy.” “Tell him it’s over.” But his mouth ran dry and he couldn’t get the words out before she had backed him into the conference room table.

This time she just started at him, unmoving, until, “Kiss me.”

And he acquiesced.

His eyes glazed over as he grasped the sides of her face as he pressed his lips to hers, wasting no time plunging his tongue into her mouth. Her soft moan sent warmth rippling through his body and he was gone for sure this time. He turned them both and lifted her onto the conference room table. As she opened her knees, her periwinkle dress shifted to her mid thigh. She wrapped her ankles around his legs pulling him closer to her. Her hands went up under his shirt leaving a tingling trail wherever she touched. The only sound in the room was heavy breathing, the smacking of lips, and soft sighs. As he moved his mouth down her jaw to her ear, she moved her hips into his, looking for friction. Her hands grasped the back of his neck when he huskily whispered in her ear, almost begging, “Tell me to stop.” She responded by grinding her hips into his harder. A quiet moan escaped the back of his throat and she could feel it vibrate straight to her core. Instead of saying anything, she reached for the hand at her back and dragged it up to her breast, squeezing his hand under her own, she licked her lips as she captured his mouth again. Taking the hint, he ran his thumb over her pert nipple beneath her dress. She let out a short sigh as she did and he could feel his own erection pulse in response. She pulled away from him slightly, and looked at him through cloudy eyes. He stopped, gazing back at her through his own hooded lids.

They stared at each other, not speaking, just gazing. It was the kind of connection where words did not need to be exchanged. They could understand each other with just a glance. And when he placed his hand on her upper thigh, not breaking eye contact, and she gently guided his hand further up to the hem of her underwear, words were not needed to convey what she wanted.

He hooked his fingers around her underwear, sliding them down her creamy legs to the floor. As he did, he kneeled in front of her, placing light kisses up her knees, to her thighs. She placed a hand at his cheek, forcing his eyes to hers. Her face was pleading, “Jim.” She breathed, begging.

He stood, captured her mouth again, pulling her closer if it was possible, and her hands fell to his belt. In a moment, it was undone and she was sliding it off of him, tossing it to the side. She made quick work of his button and zipper and before he could stop her, her hand was grazing his erection over the cotton of his briefs and she squeezed. He let out a delicious groan as he tore away from her mouth, leaning forward so she was able to bring her lips to his ear.

“Please.” She begged as she continued to caress him. Her hands soon moved to the waistband of his slacks and she tugged them down along with his underwear.

He took a sharp breath in as the air hit him and grasped her hips again. He pulled the fabric of her dress up to her waist and pulled her closer to the edge of the table. Her hands were in his hair and her mouth was on his, exploring him, tasting every bit of him she could. She pulled herself even closer to him and raised her knees higher, locking them around his hips as he guided himself to her entrance. He stalled, his forehead pressed to hers, gazing into her eyes. She stared back at him intensely and it was as if both of their bodies were on fire.

She uttered one more breathy “Please.” And after a beat he slowly sunk himself into her, not breaking eye contact. He buried himself in her to the hilt and they stayed there, unmoving, coming alive after years of repressed feelings. Electricity crackled through her body, the current flowing to his own, and a warmth consumed them both.

Then, she moved. She rolled her hips, still locked onto his eyes, and it was almost over in that instant. She rolled her hips again, but this time, he met her thrust, and they both let out a short sigh. This time, he dragged himself almost fully out of her, then plunged himself back in, and the moan that ripped through her body was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

Wanting to hear it again, he slid his arm under one knee that was around his hips and pulled her closer. A new moan vibrated through her whole body at the new angle and she closed her eyes, her head falling back. Delighted with the presentation, his mouth went to her neck, to kiss and suckle every inch of her. He grasped her arm with the hand that was under her leg and started moving in slow shallow thrusts. She brought her head back up, purring at the sensation. She latched on to the back of his neck and the hand not holding her knee up, cupped her face. He stared into her eyes as he picked up the pace, her breathing becoming faster. She met his stare, gazing into his soul, and she could feel her orgasm building.

It’s not like she was a newcomer when it came to this, but she was fascinated by how quickly he was bringing her to her release. With Jim, it was unlike any feeling she had ever experienced. And there was something about his thrusts that kept hitting the apex of what she needed.

His eyes locked on hers, he had never felt a connection this strong with anyone. It was as if he had been color blind his whole life and he had no idea what he was missing. Pam made him see everything with complete vibrancy and as he felt his release building, he tried desperately to hold on to her, not wanting this feeling to end.

But there was no avoiding it when she commanded him in a harsh whisper. “Harder.” And he was at her will. His thrusts became more intense and every time he filled her completely, a soft moan would escape her. He could feel her tightening around him and she buried her face in his neck. He kept driving into her harder, the conference table moving slightly with each thrust. His pace getting faster as he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing ragged.

She moaned a low “Oh, God.” As he pushed her over the edge, the leg over his arm shaking slightly as she reached her climax. As he felt her walls tightening around him he groaned as he released inside of her. He moved into her slower, and slower, before he stalled his motions as they both came down, breathing heavy.

He held her there, her head in his neck, for what felt like an eternity. Both of them wanting to savor the feeling of their bodies together.

Finally, she peeled her head away from him to look at him. As she did, he felt a pang of anxiety, not knowing what she might be feeling. But when her eyes met his, a small smile spread on her face. The relief he felt wash over him when she gently pressed her lips to his was indescribable.

She looked back at him, both of them unsure what to do next. He stared into her eyes. “What now?” He asked.

She paused for a moment before replying, “Take me home.”

And his face dropped. She saw his expression change, noting the confusion and added, “Take me home with you.”

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