School had been in session for one month. One very good (albeit long) month. He forgot how it took some time to build his stamina back up to teaching all day, as high schoolers were almost as exhausting as toddlers sometimes. But the biggest thing pushing him through each day was getting to observe Pam from across the hallway. She was often lecturing while his classes did their daily 15 minute reading time, so he would sit at his desk and watch her teach as inconspicuously as possible. He loved the way she played with her hands as she taught and how she seemed to light up while talking about art. Every now and then she would catch him looking at her and a small smile would creep onto her face.
In the month, they had eaten lunch together every day in the faculty lounge, but Jim felt stuck there. He had never been good at asking girls out at any point in his life and this was no exception. He could sense that she might be interested in him as well—their conversations were seamless and they easily made each other laugh—but the intense fear of rejection paralyzed him from asking her to do anything past sit by her at lunch. It was like being in high school all over again.
One night, he had decided to come back to the school to do some grading he had yet to finish. He found that he was much more productive in his classroom than at home, where his roommate Mark was always inviting him to watch a game or go out drinking with him, both of which always sounded more appealing than grading papers. By coming to the school, he eliminated the temptation completely.
He started his usual grading routine, which consisted of putting in his headphones, neatly stacking the papers he had to grade, kicking his feet up on his desk, and cracking open a crisp grape soda. For whatever reason, he liked grading with the main lights off and just working with the light from a lamp he had on his desk. The nerdy student in him got a slight thrill out grading. It felt like studying, only this time he was doing the grading instead of being graded, which naturally made it way less stressful.
He was halfway through his stack of papers when he looked up to see a figure standing in his doorway, causing him to nearly jump right out of his skin. He yanked his headphones out and clutched his chest.
“Holy hell, Beesly! You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing here this late?”
Pam doubled over with laughter. “I’m so sorry! I just came back because I left my favorite charcoal pencils in my classroom and I wanted them this weekend. Then I saw your lamp on and thought I would say hi. Didn’t mean to scare you!”
“Good thing I keep a spare pair of pants in my desk…” he joked.
She chuckled. “Why are you here so late?”
Jim stood up and leaned against his desk, arms folded against his chest. “I prefer to grade at night from my classroom. Easier to concentrate.”
“How’s it coming?” she asked.
“Well,” he said, looking at the stack of papers. “Pretty good, except for this kid.” He held up one of the essays. “My AP Literature class had a reading assignment over the summer to read To Kill a Mockingbird and write a short essay about the themes in the book. This genius wrote his paper on a book called ‘How to Kill a Mockingbird’. Definitely not what I assigned, but I have to admit...it sounds like a very compelling book.”
She snickered. “Probably a real page-turner.” She pointed to his headphones that were still in his hand. “What are you listening to?”
“What? Oh. Little bit of everything. Some Sufjan Stevens, Death Cab for Cutie, Iron and Wine, Black Sabbath…”
Her brow furrowed. “One of those things is not like the others…”
He laughed. “Okay, not so much the last one.”
He desperately wanted her to stay, so he gulped down his fear and stepped out onto a limb.
“Would you want to...hang out here for a bit? I don’t know if you have somewhere to be. But I definitely need a little break from grading and I have a perfectly chilled grape soda that has your name on it.”
She grinned and walked further into the room. “Grape soda, huh?”
“Only the best grading fuel.”
Pam sat herself on the couch Jim kept in the back of his classroom. He offered the couch as a reward for students who aced his reading quizzes, letting them use it for their free-reading time instead of their desk if they scored 100% on three consecutive quizzes. Right now, seeing Pam comfortably sinking down into it, he thanked his past self for coming up with the idea.
He grabbed an unopened can of grape soda from his desk and joined her on the couch. He offered the can to her. “So,” he started. “Any fun plans this weekend?”
Pam popped the lid on the grape soda. “My sister is actually in town. We’ll probably grab lunch tomorrow, walk around the Steamtown Mall, maybe see a movie. What about you?”
He gestured with his head toward his desk. “I have two more class periods of papers to grade. That’s pretty much my exciting weekend.”
“Wow. Wild and crazy Jim!”
“Look out, Scranton,” he smiled. “Tell me about your sister. Is she your only sibling?”
Pam took a sip of her soda and nodded. “Yep, just Penny and me. We used to fight all the time but we have gotten a lot closer as we’ve grown. What about you, do you have siblings?”
“I do!” Jim answered. “Two older brothers and a younger sister. My brothers are idiots but I guess I still love them. And my sister, Larissa, is probably one of my closest friends. She’s going to school at the University of Michigan right now and I miss her like crazy. But don’t tell her that,” he warned.
Pam mimed zipping her lips shut and smiled at Jim. Her face was glowing by the light of the lamp on his desk and she looked absolutely radiant. He had the overwhelming urge to brush one of her curls from her face, but refrained. Instead, he placed his arm on the back of the couch behind her. Close enough to feel more intimate, but not close enough to feel presumptuous, he hoped.
“So, Ms. Beesly, how do you feel about your first month at ET Memorial?”
She turned toward him and recounted the last few weeks. She told him about the great moments she had, and named the kids she had already had started to bond with as well as the ones that make her want to rip her hair out. She expressed her fears about teaching that hadn’t quite dissolved with the start of the school year, but that she also felt like she was in the exact right place in her life.
Looking at her next to him, he would have to agree.
She tilted her head and looked at him. “How did you know this is what you wanted to do?”
“Wow,” he sighed. “That’s a good question. This may come as a surprise to you, but I’m a giant nerd.”
“You? Never,” she mocked.
“I know. But it’s true. And I did a lot of things growing up. I played basketball, I hung out with friends all the time, and I’m the reigning Mario Kart champion in my family. But books,” he smiled. “Books got me through all the times in my life that weren’t so rosy. James Baldwin said it best. He said, ‘You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read’. And I found that to be true. I could always find a character in a book that related to me and whatever I was going through. I could escape.”
“I love that,” she said softly.
He smiled and continued. “Then I had this amazing English teacher in 10th grade. He found so many cool and unique ways to teach us. He led us in these great discussions and debates about books and even the kids you would least suspect would participate and get in on it and it was just...oh man, it was amazing. It was then that I told myself that I wanted to do what he did and teach. If I could make just one kid every year grow to love reading the way he could, it would be worth it.”
She put her hand on his shoulder and smiled softly. “That’s amazing, Jim. I bet your students love you.”
He tried to respond, but his brain had shut down the minute she touched him. Luckily for him, she continued talking.
“I wish I had some inspiring story like that. I mean, obviously I love art and always have. But I never thought I would teach it. I just felt like I was at a dead end after I graduated and teaching felt like the next logical step. Thankfully, I still feel like it was the right decision, even if I’m scared out of my pants every time I step in front of a class.”
“Yeah, I don’t know if that ever fully goes away.”
She laughed. “Well, that’s encouraging.”
“No, I bet you’re wonderful. I mean, you are wonderful.”
“Oh stop it,” she blushed. “But thank you.” Her hand was still resting on his shoulder.
This was it—this was his moment.
“Did I tell you I’m also the basketball coach here?”
Damnit, Jim. THAT’S what you choose to have come out of your mouth?! He tried not to visibly wince.
“No!” Luckily, she didn’t seem too put off. “That’s awesome! When does your season start?”
“Not until November. If Coach Anderson had his way, we wouldn’t start until the new year so he could keep his beloved football season going longer,” he scoffed. He loved football as much as the next guy, but their high school football coach took it to the next annoying level.
Pam averted her eyes and Jim sensed a shift in her demeanor.
“Did I say something?” he asked, worried that she was secretly the world's biggest fan of second-tier high school football and he just offended her.
“It’s nothing,” she said, still not looking at him. “It’s just...I kind of know Roy. The coach.”
Uh oh.
“He and I actually dated all through high school. When I left for college we broke up and I hadn’t heard from him at all until I got this job and realized he worked here as the gym teacher and football coach.”
Jim relaxed a little bit, but there was still a little bit of tension between his eyebrows.
“Then,” she continued, “when he realized I was here, we went on a few dates. Reconnected a little bit.”
She must have seen the pained expression on Jim’s face, because she put her hand on his knee, assuringly.
“But it ended there,” she said hurriedly. “I broke it off. He constantly seemed threatened that I had a masters degree and made more money than him,” she smirked. “Honestly, he never even wanted me to go to college back when we were in high school. He assumed we would get married right away and have kids.”
“Ass…” he involuntarily muttered. “Sorry.”
She smiled at him. “Don’t be. He kind of is.”
She checked her watch. “Wow. It’s after midnight. I should probably get going. Penny will be here pretty early tomorrow.”
He nodded. “Can I walk you out? Sometimes the janitor Mose sleeps in his custodial closet and it can be a little startling.”
“Wait, what?”
“Oh, you haven’t met Mose? Please let me know when you do. You’ll need someone to talk to,” he joked.
She laughed and stood up, grabbing her purse. Jim waited as she grabbed her pencils from her classroom. As she opened her desk drawer, he noticed that she had taped the picture he printed of Raphael (the turtle) next to her computer. He couldn’t hide the smile on his face if he tried.
They got to the parking lot and Jim shook his head a little, lost in his thoughts.
“What?” Pam said, noticing.
“Oh nothing. Just...you and Anderson, huh? I never would have…”
“Oh?” she probed. “And why not?”
“It’s just that...you’re so...and he’s so…”
They reached her car and she let out a little laugh and raised her eyebrows, turning to him.
“You know,” she said, smirking. “For an English teacher you sure are having a hard time finding words.”
He lowered his head and laughed himself. He looked up and met her eyes. He could hear his heart thumping in his ears. “I just think you’re amazing. And talented, and funny, and warm, and...I like you a lot. I just need you to know that.”
Her eyes sparkled under the glow of the stars as she looked back up at him. Then she reached up and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, pulling him into a hug. He slinked his arms around her and they stood in the nearly empty parking lot, embraced in each other’s arms for several minutes, neither of them saying a word. Jim marveled at how perfectly she fit against him and almost went light headed from how good her hair smelled. He could probably stay like his forever.
She pulled away and planted a soft kiss on his cheek before she lowered back down to the ground. “Thank you, Jim. I had a really, really nice time with you tonight.”
She opened her car door and turned back to him. “And for the record, I think you’re pretty amazing yourself.” She winked at him and shut her car door behind her. He backed away slightly so she could pull out, and lifted a hand to wave to her, his smile reaching both his ears.
He stuck his hands into his pockets and turned back toward the school, grinning. He shook his head in disbelief, and muttered to himself.
“That’ll do, Halpert. That’ll do.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
These chapters are coming along faster than I thought they would! I can’t promise I’ll always have daily updates, so hopefully you enjoy them while they last!
Chapter End Notes:
We’ll get there, I promise. ;) Also, shoutout to DoomGoose for the idea of making Mose the creepy janitor, because of course he is.
