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Author's Chapter Notes:

Originally posted on 12 January 2021

Jim texted me his new address not long after our talk earlier this morning.  I told him it’d be around 8:30 to 9:00 pm when I got there but no earlier than that.  He simply replied

{no prob, youre worth the wait}

My heart is still fluttering from that.

It’s nearly 6:00 pm when I get my stuff together and drive to Stamford.  Packed an overnight bag just in case.  I doubt he’d actually want me to stay there, even if something does come out of this, but I’m planning for the best-case scenario.  Halfway there, I grab some McDonald’s because I’m hungry.  I’m not one who usually does fast food, but I just need something in my system because I didn’t have lunch today; my damn nerves just love affecting my appetite.  Besides, I need to make sure I get to Jim’s as quickly as possible.

I’m going to see Jim.

I arrive at his place at around 20 ’til 9:00, the Big Mac churning in my stomach due to all the nerves.  I ring the doorbell, and he answers in his casual outfit of a shirt, a loose sweater, and a pair of jeans.  He looks exactly like he did during his barbecue.

I’m immediately put at ease with his next words, “Why, good evening, madam,” he says in a sophisticated voice; it’s the first time I’ve seen him genuinely happy in weeks.

I giggle at his little act and play along, “And good evening to you, sir.”

He moves out of the way and gestures to me to enter, “Come on in.”

“Why thank you.”

“Make yourself at home,” he says in earnest as he closes the door behind him.  I find a recliner and get comfortable, and he sits on the couch adjacent to it.

There’s a tense silence as we’re both trying to figure out where to go from here.

He goes first.  “How much did you tell Roy?”

“Everything,” I answer, “That you confessed your love and kissed me.”

“How did he take it?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“At first, all he did was call you a creep.  He only got upset when I admitted that I had feelings for you.”

Jim raises his eyebrows in shock, not expecting me to be that honest with Roy.  “You told him that?”

“Yeah, he was furious.”

“I don’t blame him,” he responds.  I can see he feels bad for Roy just as much as I do.

“I told him the reasons for breaking it off,” I continue, “that he was never emotionally available, that he never put in any effort, that he strung me along for years, all of it.”  He nods, and I continue.  “I was the only girlfriend he ever had so when we broke up…” I keep my tears at bay, “He begged me to stay.  That he was willing to change and make an effort and treat me right, but,” I bite my lip and attempt not to cry.  Jim finds a box of tissues and hands them to me gently; I can tell by his face he wants to dry them himself, but he wants to keep his distance for now.  I smile and mouth a ‘Thank you’ to him.

He smiles back before he sobers and looks at me, “Have you run into him since?”

“Not even at work,” I admit, “My folks and I made sure to grab everything that’s mine from— his place during the times he was out.”  I’m still getting used to it.

“Mm.”

I take a deep breath as I begin.  “I’m sorry.  I wanted to tell you the truth.”

“Why didn’t you?” he asks plainly.

“Insecurity, fear, the usual,” I told him, “I understand if you don’t forgive me.”

“Of course I forgive you,” he states gently but with tenacity, “I just… it makes no sense to me.”

“What doesn’t?”

“You weren’t honest with me,” he’s confused and a bit miffed, “You were honest with him before me.”

“I know, and I should have been,” I admit, “I… I didn’t want to upset him.”

“How many times has he upset you?” he asks pointedly.

It’s too valid of a question to refute, but I try anyway, “Jim, I’ve been with him for nearly a decade,” I press, “That’s not something that can be shrugged off.  Besides, I had no time to think.”

He’s still perplexed, he doesn’t understand.  “What was there to think about, Pam?  You really had to think about leaving someone who mistreated you?  For years?”

“I had to think about my best friend dropping a bomb at my feet and running off!” I suddenly blurt out, “You told me you were in love with me, Jim.  That’s not something you just casually say, i-it came out of nowhere.  I needed time to take it all in, to figure all of this out,” I start getting more and more annoyed with him as I keep talking, “I needed time you didn’t give me.”

He responds to that with a quiet, humorless laugh, “To be honest, I doubted that you’d have any other reaction.  I was bracing for it.  I guess I wanted you to… I dunno, wake up?” he shrugs, “I mean, it’s not like we were flirting, and yeah, it may have looked like it, but I just thought there was a connection there… and I know you thought the same thing.”

“I did, Jim,” I admit, “But the moment I finally woke up, you were gone.  Just… gone.”  Hurt is evident in my voice, and so is frustration.  “The next day.  I had to find out from Kelly, Jim.  Fucking Kelly.  There wasn’t even time for a goodbye party for Phyllis and Angela to plan and bitch about.”  He remains silent and stoic.  “When I found out about the transfer, I… I had to ask Michael if I could go home for the rest of the day.  I couldn’t even focus on my menial job.”  He’s still silent, but I just had to know.  “Why did you leave, without so much as a goodbye?”

It’s a couple seconds before he speaks up.  “Before the kiss, I thought I really was the lovesick creep like Roy assumed I was, going for a girl that I could never have.  I mean, I’ve been rejected before, but with you… it hit me way harder than it should have.  I decided to go for the kiss anyway because I knew, I just knew this was different, something else entirely.  But it wasn’t the kiss that convinced me that you felt the same way.”  He swallows deeply, trying to hold back his emotions.  “It was when you said ‘Me too’.”

Oh, my God.  I finally get it.  I didn’t just lie to him… I lied to myself, too.

“And when you said you’d still marry him, I… I just couldn’t stand it,” he says quietly, “I can’t stand the thought of my best friend being unhappy.  So I decided to just… move away.  Of course, it was wrong and selfish, but… I figured a goodbye would only hurt us both more.  Because nothing would be the same after that.  And that’s my fault.”

His face twists for a moment, his emotions getting more and more difficult to hold back.  All I wanna do now is hold him.

“Pam… you have no idea how beautiful you are.  And that’s not just me saying that.  The more I got to know you, the more you became the only part that could help me get through that… circus.”  I almost chuckle at his apt comment about Dunder Mifflin Scranton.  “You made me look forward to workdays.  Hell, you made me more motivated to work.  And Roy just,” he shakes his head, “I betrayed his trust.  And I’m not proud of it.  But dammit, Pam, being at that wedding would have torn me to pieces.  Because every time I saw you with him, you were just… sad.”

I only nod in response.

He shakes his head, ashamed.  “I should have stayed,” he laments, holding back his anger, “I should have never even considered the transfer.  But no.  Had to just give up and run away because I couldn’t be with a girl who was engaged,” He looks at me with those hazel eyes that are piercing my soul, “A girl I don’t deserve.”

His face… it was the same one from that night.  His eyes bloodshot, skin pale, failing to keep it together.  I never thought I could feel this awful.

He’s shaking with anger as he leans down, his head in his hands and his fingers clutching his haphazard hair, shuddering.  “I’m such a FUCKING idiot!”  Seeing him like this… it’s a knife that’s just stabbed me in the heart.

An outburst like that from Roy would make me flinch.  But with Jim, it doesn’t, because he’s angry at himself and not me like he should be.  So much so that he can’t bear to even look at me, despite me being the one that lied to him.  I felt shitty enough rejecting him — twice — but seeing for myself how badly I hurt him…

“I hurt you,” he guiltily whispers, “I’m sorry, Pam, I…”  Now he’s shuddering through his sob.

I’m a monster.

I have to do something, anything, everything to take his pain away, so I walk over, sit next to him, and rub his back in small circles, needing to soothe him; he seems to start relaxing, but he’s still breaking.

“Jim… Jim, don’t beat yourself up.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” he says in a watery voice, “I walked away.  I walked away when I didn’t get what I wanted.  I’m selfish and a goddamn coward.”

I want to tell him that this isn’t all on him, that I should have just been honest, but instead, I say “Jim, I forgive you.”

He looks over to me, tear splotches under his eyes, looking at me in disbelief, “How can you say that?”

I look at him and give him a sad smile, telling him that I’m here.  “Because you’re my best friend.”

He looks down, lightly laughing through his tears, which calms him down.  God, I missed that laugh.  “How do you know exactly what to say?” he asks.

I reach over and grab his hand, “I could ask you the same question.”

He grips my hand tighter as we lean back and get comfortable, just sitting right next to each other for about a minute, until my own emotions bubble to the surface.

“Jim?” I say, quiet as a mouse.

He turns towards me, much calmer but no less shaken, “Hey… it’s okay.”

I really look at him, his cheeks still tear-stained, still breathing heavy, yet he’s worried about me.  He’s crying because of me.

“I just… I need you to hold me…”

The next thing I know I’m perched on his lap, his arms wrapped around and clutching me as I hold onto him just as tightly.  I just flat-out bawl, letting out all of my pent up emotions into his shoulder.  All the anger, fear, anticipation, resentment, regret, all of it.  I can tell he’s trying to keep his tears at bay, wanting to be my rock, but he quietly cries once again.  I try to speak, wanting to apologize profusely for everything I’ve done to him — the denial, the mixed signals, the claims of misinterpretation — but he softly shushes me and kisses my cheek; I can tell he’s already forgiven me.

Just being in his arms… it feels right.  More right than it ever did with Roy.  All of my fears and anxieties are melting away.  I’m calmed, I’m protected, I’m loved.  Despite all the shit we’ve put each other through in the past week and the fact that we’re both broken messes right now… we’re here.  We’re both here and together and in love.  This is the absolute worst, I wish I could hold onto this moment forever.

As our tears subside, I suddenly blurt out something I’ve felt for the longest time but never vocalized.

“I love you.”


3.03 “The Coup”

“Movie Monday!” Michael announces to the doc crew as he picks out a DVD, “The only cure I know for the ‘Monday Blues’ is… Varsity Blues!”

Yup, Michael’s “unique” methods in increasing productivity include halting work on the first workday of the week to just… straight-up watch a movie.  Dwight ushers everyone in, while Pam hands out fresh popcorn to the “guests”; Michael is the only one that wants any.

“Movie Monday started with training videos,” Pam explains to the crew, “but we went through those pretty fast.  Then we watched a medical video.”  She’s still trying to make sense of it all even when she’s saying this out loud.  “Since then, it’s been half-hour installments of various movies, with the exception of an episode of Entourage, which Michael made us watch six times.”  (“Entouraaaaaagge!”)

While Kevin goes scene-by-scene what happened the last time they watched it, Jan walks into an empty office.  Dwight notes that someone doesn’t approve of Movie Monday.  It’s Angela.  Big surprise there.  And she rats them out to Jan while at her station.

Her expression says it all.

Michael still invites her to watch it with them, which makes her more pissed at him by the second.  “How would a movie increase productivity, Michael?” she confronts him in his office not ten minutes afterward, “How on earth would it do that?”

“People work faster after…”

“Magically?”

“No… they have to… to make up for the time” he tries to explain himself better but to no avail, “they lost watching the movie.”

No.”  While Jan continues to tear him a new one,

“Kitchen.”

Dwight and Angela, the Office Love Affair, congregate once again.

“Michael is going to get us all fired,” she argues to Dwight next to the fridge, “You sat back and let him play that dumb movie, and now Jan is peeved off and we’re all going to lose our jobs.”

“That’s not going to happen,” he reassures.

“You know she has it out for him now.”

Dwight stands by his bro.  “That’s not his fault!  He had to follow his heart!”

“Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan’s been bitching out on him,” Dwight oh so eloquently phrases it to the crew, “Reject a woman and she will never let it go.  One of the many defects of their kind.  Also weak arms.”  Because if there’s anyone who truly understands women, it’s Dwight Schrute.

“Dwight… you should be running this office,” Angela pushes.

This gets him thinking… maybe he should.  Jim’s gone, so there’s no more competition on who’s the best salesman of the branch (as if the winner wasn’t obvious).  Jan has it out for Michael, which can be easily taken advantage of.  Besides, Michael’s an idiot when it comes to matters of the heart, he dug his own grave.  Plus, there are ideas that only Dwight would have the steel-plated balls to implement, ideas that will make Dunder Mifflin Scranton the empire it deserves to be.

But his loyalty is too strong.

“Michael would never let me…” he refutes, halfheartedly.

“It’s not up to Michael, it’s Jan’s call,” she argues, “Talk to her.”

“I could never do that!”

“Fine!” she snaps back, “Sit back and do nothing and let us all get fired!”  And this hits Dwight hard.  Because it’s one thing letting Michael down… but it’s another letting Monkey down.

For Angela, it’s not just about their jobs, either.  There’s a reason why she loves Dwight, why she’s his Monkey.  She knows Dwight’s potential.  Strong.  Capable.  Cultured.  If one is to truly become a man, Dwight should be the one to look to for guidance.  She knows him, his mind, his skills, his body… with him running his office, he would be king.  And she would be the queen by his side.

And that is what frustrates her in the end.

“I know that patience and loyalty are good and virtuous traits,” she tells the crew, “But sometimes I just think you need to grow a pair.”  Valid take.

Jan leaves Michael’s office, Dwight enters, “Hey,” he shuts the door to talk to him, “Is everything okay?”

“It is not your business, Dwight,” Michael impatiently refutes.

“If the branch is in trouble, there are things you can do.”

“What do you know about management, Dwight?”

This was Dwight’s chance to prove himself, “I know that we need to cut costs.  We could fire Meredith.  That’s a big cost.”
“I’m not firing anyone.”

“Creed might be living here, we could charge him rent.”

“…What?”

“Four nights a week, I sleep under my desk,” Creed explains to the crew, “and then three nights I stay at my place in Toronto.  They don’t know about this job up there.  It’s a welfare state.  Beautiful countries, both of ’em.”

Michael tries to get everyone back inside, to no avail.  Stanley’s on the phone and Ryan wisely states that Jan said it wasn’t allowed.  So Michael, the master of not letting things go, to use the scheduled movie time for online Scrabble.

Angela looks at Dwight and shakes her head at his inaction.

“The Schrutes are a very loyal breed,” Dwight explains to the crew, “But I also have Mannheim blood from my German grandmother.  And the Mannheims knew when to cut and run.  No sense going down with a losing regime.  But the Schrute blood… It’s amazing that when these two bloods mix, the whole thing didn’t explode.”  Given that said types of blood create such a volatile concoction, Dwight’s existence suddenly makes sense.


Jim explains to the crew what’s going on in the dimly lit Stamford office, “At the Stamford branch, they all play this World War II video game called Call of Duty, and they’re all really into it.”  Cue footage of Andy and Karen having the time of their lives.  “I’m told it started as a team-building exercise.”  Looks like Josh and Michael do have something in common after all.  “Unfortunately I really suck at it,” he chuckles awkwardly as they show his avatar dying.

Jim’s not much of a ‘gamer’ in that he never grew up with the medium like his brothers.  He played Super Smash Bros. quite a few times at his friend Colin’s dorm room, but that’s about it.  He recalls when Mark gave him Call of Duty for his 27th birthday, but he hasn’t touched it; he let it collect dust on his desk back in his and Mark’s apartment and now has it stored in his bedroom closet.

“We didn’t play many video games in Scranton,” Jim continues, “Instead we’d do stuff like…” and here comes the nostalgia, “uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high pitched note, and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor.  And uh, Pam called it… Pretendenitus.”  He looks down, shaking his head and smiling.

He misses that girl.


Soon after she’s stationed back at her desk, Pam signs off on a package, letting Kelly know over the phone.  “Hey Kelly, my stuff just got here.”  Kelly’s exuberance from the other line nearly burst her eardrum.

“Kelly really likes to online shop,” she explains to the crew, “So… I felt like I wanted some new clothes.  I mean, it’d be nice to just y’know,” she tries to elaborate, “feel more like… myself in the office.”  She doesn’t want to just be ‘herself’ for Jim anymore.  She wants to be for Pam as well.

She pulls out a brand new magenta-colored shirt.

Kelly gasps, “I love it!” she compliments (genuinely).

“Really?” Pam asks, hesitantly, “I don’t know.”

“You haven’t even tried it on yet, try it on!”

“Not at work, I’ll try it on-

“Fashion show!” Kelly suggests, “Fashion show!  Fashion show at lunch!” she claps.

Really?  “…No,” she refuses quietly with a nervous smile.

“Fa-shion show!  Fa-shion show!  Fa-shion show at lunch!
Fa-shion show!  Fa-shion show!  Fa-shion show at lunch!”

Pam can’t help but laugh along with Kelly’s child-like enthusiasm.  As vain as she can be, she can also be really supportive.  Ah, what the hell?


Jim continues to play the game not correctly and Andy takes notice.  “Why did you do that?!” he snaps angrily at him.

“I’m just killing Germans, any way I can,” Jim responds, keeping his cool.

“We’re on the German team,” Andy confirms, Shoot the British.”

…Oh.  He turns to Karen, “Wait, are we playing teams?

She looks at him, “Yeah.”  Clueless.


The Schrute and Mannheim Bloods battle for control within Dwight as he sprints around the parking lot conflicted on how to proceed with Michael and his quest for power.

The Mannheim Blood wins the battle.  [“Hello?”] Jan asks over the phone.

“Is this Jan?” he asks breathlessly.

[“Who is this?”]

“This is Dwight.  Schrute.”  She sighs, not wanting to deal with him right after Michael.  “I am calling about an extremely sensitive matter—”

[“You should talk to Michael, and he’ll talk to me, and that way we don’t have to speak to each other.”]  Mostly because she doesn’t want to.

“It’s about Michael.”

[“What about him?”]

He breathes out, not knowing how to proceed.  “I can’t talk here,” he whispers, “It’s too sensitive.”

[“It’s not about a surprise party, is it?”]

“No, but we should discuss that another time.”  The sad part is that Michael already has it scheduled.

[“Look, I am already an hour outside of Scranton, Dwight, I’m not coming back.”]

“Pull over at Exit 40,” he asks of her, “There is a Liz Claiborne outlet.  I know you like that store.  Go inside and shop, until I can meet you.”

[“How do you know I like that store?”]  He has methods.

“Many of your blouses are Claiborne’s.”

[“How do you know that?”]

“Part of my job.”

[“No, it’s not.  It’s officially… not.”]

He’s slowly getting it.  “…Noted.”  He later walks to Michael’s office, claiming to go to the dentist; he doesn’t know when to stop.  “I have to have an emergency crown put in.”

“Ouchy.”

“Yes.  It’s a new dentist.  He’s far, I might be gone… three hours.”

“Three hours, wow.  Have fun.”  Dwight leaves, but not before staring him through his office blinds.  Nothing gets by Michael.

After a pleasant shopping spree, Jan meets Dwight at a restaurant in the outlet mall where he makes a promise, “I can save the branch.”

“Really?”

“If you let me run it.”

This conversation is risky at worse and downright laughable at best (mostly the latter).  But it gives her a chance to know how Michael works, and, in addition, the Scranton Branch as a whole.  Michael’s a blubbering idiot who thinks being a class clown is productive, and her ties with him just make all of this an uphill battle.  And now the top sales rep of his branch, one of the best of the company, is meeting her to discuss an operation to take Michael’s own office from him.  It’s as if a sitcom was being written in front of her very eyes.  And to make matters worse, there’re plenty of diligent employees in Scranton.

And one in particular who is reliant on her.

Best-case scenario, a merger with Stamford will happen, and she’ll be pushing for it; the last thing she wants to see is honest workers lose their jobs.  But this branch is deteriorating before her eyes, and she’s here to do her own job.  A job she’s constantly put first above all else… including her own well-being.  A job that just might include shutting down the whole damn branch.

The moment she tried to step out of that job and start something with Michael, she got hurt; it’s a mistake she is not going to repeat.  She’s not making any more mistakes because of him or anyone else.

She’s made too many mistakes already.

At the very least she can have a good laugh, which is why she’s willing to hear him out.  “Okay.”

“Okay, I can run it?”  He anticipates his own best-case scenario.

This is stupid, but she is curious, “What would you do differently?” she asks methodically.

“Mostly get rid of waste,” he says, “Which is half the people there.  And clean house.”  He is then given his lunch, three plates worth of breakfast food.

“Dwight, you must feel… strongly, to speak with me this way, behind Michael’s back, and turn on so many of your co-workers.”  Despite how crazy the man is, she’s intrigued as to how this conversation even happened.

“The decision to turn on Michael was difficult,” he admits as he drowns his food in maple syrup, “But once I did it, I didn’t look back.  And mostly I feel that Michael would approve.”  Would he?  “It’s really what’s best for the branch.”  Is it?  “And I could care less about my co-workers.”  That’s a straight-up lie.  “So… here we are.  It’s all, on the table,” he aggressively cuts his waffles, “I want… the branch.  And I await your decision.”

As she sips her coffee and he shovels food into his mouth, he tells her about a new Anne Taylor store nearby; she likes their earrings.


[“Michael,”] Jan later addresses him over the phone.

He strolls around his office, “Hi.”

[“I just had a very interesting conversation with one of your employees.”]

“Oh,” he reacts happily, “That’s nice.”

[“No, it wasn’t,”] she tells him outright, [“Dwight just told me that he thinks he can run the branch better than you.”]

This gives Michael pause, “…What?”

[“Mm-hmm.”]

Dwight wants to run the branch?  Dwight.  Really?  No.  No.  He’s too much of an idiot.  He’s a kiss-ass.  He’s annoying and stubborn and just… ech.  And Michael, with all of his flaws, even he can see that Dwight’s not fit.

Michael has several choices.  First, Ryan, because he is a new and improved Michael Scott and his protégé.  His second would be Jim (God rest his soul), but even then he does work half the time it takes Michael, and he doesn’t understand how that could work.  Third, Stanley, because Michael believes that African Americans should advance alongside their white counterparts.

Dwight is fourth.  At the highest.

“…You were at the dentist—?”

[“You can’t have people undermining you,”] she emphasizes, [“Get control of your branch immediately.”]

“Okay.”

“What was Dwight thinking?” he asks the crew, “That he could turn Jan against me?  She’s my ex-lover!…ish.”  If that’s what you call that dynamic.


Pam shows off her blouse to Meredith, Phyllis, and a supportive Kelly, all three of them surprised by how good she looks.

“Wooow” Meredith compliments.

“It is so sexy,” Kelly says, uncharacteristically supportive, “You look so hot.”

“It’s really something,” a cheerful Phyllis adds.

Pam is feeling better about this, about trying to be more her.  If Jim were here, she’d be the most beautiful woman in the office, because he has this way of making her feel that way, even when they don’t even act like a couple around each other.  But now… even with the support of her coworkers, she still doesn’t feel like herself quite yet.  It’s something she still needs to get over.  “…It’s too much.”

Kelly’s puzzled, “What?  I—”
“I’m gonna return it.”
“No, you have to keep it today, just see how you feel.”  Hear Kelly out, Pam, she’s right.

And in walks… Roy, from the breakroom.  “Hey.”

Oh, God.

She’s face-to-face with the guy that made her feel like she didn’t need to improve, that she didn’t need to strive for more than what she was… all those little insecurities.  The very insecurities that Jim is slowly and lovingly trying to break down.  Roy never called her a whore or anything, that was Angela’s job.  But there was this sense of her needing to look plain, unassuming, undesirable.  To avoid anything awkward.  To avoid another jealous tirade.  Her outfits and demeanor were a shield.

And the shield’s been dropped.

And she can tell he’s trying.  He’s always trying.  He’s been trying since mid-June.  And it’s not that he can’t change, because he has.  She’s afraid there’ll be a relapse.  The moment they become close again, he’ll immediately turn from a guy pushing 30 to a 17-year-old boy.

With all these running thoughts, all she can bring herself to say is “…Hi.”

He tries to find the right words.  “Y-you look nice.”

She expected that but at least it feels good to hear.  “Thanks.”  But… she’s tired of seeing him try, of trying to pick up the pieces of something that’ll never fit back together.  She’s so damn tired of running into him and making her feel awkwa—

“Isn’t that like your third soda today?”

Kelly Kapoor of all people makes Pam feel better by insulting her ex.  She is the Business Bitch, after all.

Intimidated, he walks off.


After lunch and two hours of actual work, the light dim yet again.

“Again?” Jim asks Karen.

“Scared?” she teases.

Karen is a go-getter.  She’ll take on any challenge thrown at her, and she motivates herself to not only beat it but excel at it, no matter what it is or how long it takes.  People often don’t see her value in Stamford, especially Josh, who constantly plays favorites.  She’s only now warming up to Jim because he’s a good guy: very funny, sweet, and “adorkable” (the best term to describe him, actually).  But the amount of special treatment Josh gives him is eye-rolling.  And sure, she’s happy for Jim and the guy knows his stuff, but she’s tired of getting stunted.  Ignored.  Belittled.  And she’s determined to show just how capable she is.

But this determination is, ironically, a downfall of sorts.  She’s not one to turn back from any challenge, even the ones she doesn’t even have an interest in.  Something as simple as a video game becomes a fight to win.  She can take it too far but not because of others, but rather herself.  To her, going through obstacles that can hurt rather than help is better than giving up.  She fears that walking away makes her weak.

But walking away can make one strong, as well.

She’s thankful for the challenges that she’s both beaten and excels at, primarily her skill in sales and
m/ “Call of Dutyyy!” m/

Josh, aggravation evident in his face, summons Andy and Jim to the conference room; the game needs to be put on hold.

“This is not working, okay?” Josh says as if he was leading an honest-to-God infantry, “We are getting slaughtered out there.”

Andy knows exactly who to blame, “It’s the new guy.”

What?  “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t know… what we’re talking about.”

“See what I mean?”  Just cut me some slack, man.

“We just need a strategy, okay?” Josh says, “We’re going to set up a trap in the gun room.  All right, Jim, are you using the MP-40 or the 44?”

“Um… sniper rifle?”

“SNIPE—”
“WHAT?”
“JIM!”
“Are you playing for the other team?!”
“You don’t snipe in Carrington, okay?”
Saboteur!  Saboteur!”
“Andy, it’s not—”
“I’m going to kill you for real.  This game— the game is over.  I’m really going to shoot you.”

Jim looks at the camera, taking Andy’s legitimate threat of murder in stride.

… He can’t help but be a little frightened.  A little.


Dwight re-enters the office, Michael perched at the corner of Ryan’s desk (as he often does), who has a question for him.

“Hey, Dwight?”

“Hey.”

“Do you wanna M&M?”

Dwight eats it, and then he’s offered several more.

Then Michael goes for the kill, “Hey, I thought you weren’t supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you’ve had a crown put in.”

Dwight’s scrambling and Michael knows it.  He has to think of something.  “…They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding, so…”  Yeah, that’ll work.

“Sounds like a good dentist.”
“Oh, yeah.”

“…What’s his name?”

He’s scrambling again.  Something else.  “…Crentist.”  Yeah, that’ll work.

Even Michael doesn’t buy it.  “Your dentist’s name is Crentist.”

“Yep.”

“Huh,” he ‘ponders’, “Sounds a lot like dentist.”

“Maybe that’s why he became a dentist.”  Convenient.

Michael wants to see Dwight’s teeth, analyzing them.  There are some crowns in his teeth.

He needs to floss.

Michael’s just glad he’s okay… as he contemplates how to get him to talk.

“Business is like a jungle,” Michael explains to the crew, “And I… am like a tiger.  And Dwight is like a monkey that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick.”  Apt.  “Does the tiger fire the monkey?  Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch?”  He grins briefly when he realizes he just made a pun, but then he sighs.  “There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger’s head.  We don’t have the technology.”

Michael then has a… surprisingly good idea.  Pretend that Jan demoted him (which, to be honest, is not beyond the realm of possibility), and inform Dwight that he’s been promoted.  Michael’s not the best actor (watch Threat Level Midnight for evidence of that), but it’s a good enough performance for Dwight to buy it.  Michael then makes an even smarter play by emphasizing Dwight’s unwavering loyalty… making him feel guilty.

People should estimate Michael more often.

Everyone reacts accordingly.  Stanley questions the decision.  Ryan cares less than he already did.  Kevin’s worried about Michael since he might lose his condo if he quits.  Pam has a broken vacuum cleaner that can replace Dwight as manager if things don’t work out.  Phyllis is tempted to quit.

And Angela couldn’t be happier.

But at the end of the day, the qualifications of a manager… is that he never lies.

“I just want to say, to the few of you who will remain under my employ,” Dwight announces, “that I intend to lead you into the black!  With ferocity!”

And the Office Love Affair celebrates.  “It’s really happening,” Angela happily tells Dwight by the vending machines.

“Yes.”

Angela sees a bright future ahead, “We can make a difference here.”

“I… will make a difference here.” he corrects while opening his soda can in front of her.

She’s crushed.  “You alone?  Because I thought together we could—”

“Oh please, don’t be naïve,” he tells her as if that was a ridiculous statement (which it is), “But you can be in charge of the women.”

Well done, Angela, you pushed your man into obtaining the most powerful position in the entire office… and you have no executive say.  Your own bid for power has been neglected by your lover.

But you’ll be in charge of the women, Monkey.  You have that going for you.


“Look how cute he is!” Karen whispers to the camera, talking about Jim’s less-than-mediocre gaming skills, “He’s trying to shoot with a smoke grenade.”  The cameras catch her computer screen.  Yeah, it’s um… yeah.

“I’m sorry, what are you whispering about?” Jim asks.

“I’m sorry, nothing,” she lies, “just concentrate on turning around.”

“I’m trying, I just, …”

“Just tap S, then D.”  Jim’s avatar has finally turned around… only to be cornered by Karen’s avatar, gun pointed at its head.  “Anyyy last words?  No—”
“Wha—”
*BOOM*
You killed Jim Halpert

Jim catches Karen wildly giggling at her victory.

“Wow,” he turns back to his computer, “Psychopaaath.”

Jim grows a small smile.  He’s happy he’s getting closer to Karen.  He has a real friend in the Stamford branch.

Karen smiles as well.  She’s happy that she’s getting to know him better.

Very happy.


Creed walks up to Pam’s desk.

“What?” she asks.

“Just looking.”

…Ah, crap.

She’s now reminded why she doesn’t want to feel like herself in this office, one that doesn’t even involve Roy: The other men in the office.

Aside from Creed doing that, Kevin has made comments about her that she overhears; Dwight would rate her appearance based on his ludicrously sexist centuries-old standards; Stanley’s comments about other women indicate that he may be having an affair; she’s pretty sure Toby is infatuated with her (though she trusts that he won’t do or say anything inappropriate); Ryan keeps stringing Kelly along, acting like she doesn’t even exist; and Michael… well, she calls it Tuesday.  The only guy here besides Jim who doesn’t come close to any of this is Oscar.  Who’s gay.  And not here.  God, Roy would’ve had a bit of a point if he didn’t act like this, too.

“…Please go back to your desk.”

“In a minute.”

And on goes the sweatshirt.

“Well, I remember why I dress the way I do at work,” Pam tells the crew, “But I’m gonna keep the clothes.  I mean, it’s just great to have some more after-work clothes that aren’t pajamas.”  That’s the spirit, Pam.


Dwight clears out Michael’s desk, preparing to instate his rule, while the other stares on in righteous anger.  While he tries to hand Dwight the keys, he refuses, frightened beyond belief.

“But you said you liked it,” Michael argues, “You’ve always admired it.”

“Well, that was before.  I’m thinking about getting something German, something with decent gas mileage.  Plus, that convertible, it’s a ridiculous choice for this climate.”

And there goes the camel’s back.

“Take it back.”

“…No.”

“That’s my car.”

“…What did you—”
“THAT’SMYCAR.”

Dwight’s just lost at this point, “…Yes.”

“I know, Dwight,” Michael confirms, “I know.  I know.  I know.”

“You know what?”

“Jan called me about your little meeting!”
“No!”
“I know what you did.”
“I think the Sebring’s cool.”
“I made the whole thing up, Dwight.”
“It’s cool.  The Seabring’s cool.”
“Oh, do you?”
“It has a cassette”
“Do you like the Sebring—?”
“and it has a CD.”
“How DARE YOU!  How dare you, Dwight?”

Dwight, for once in his life, is scared beyond all comprehension.  “Don’t fire me,” he begs, on his knees, “Please.”

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fire you RIGHT HERE ON THE SPOT?!”

“I HAVE EXCELLENT SALES NUMBERS!”

“Not, Good, Enough!”

He’s sobbing at this point, “I’ll do anything!  Anything!!”  Angela watches the display, heartbroken.  “I’ll do your laundry for a month!  For a year!”

“I… have… a laundry machine.”

“I’m sorry…” he’s gone, “I’ll do anything, I swear…”  Angela can’t bear to watch anymore, seeing the love of her life shatter before her very eyes.

And Michael doesn’t let up, “I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”

“You can’t,” Dwight relents, “You can’t, but I promise I’ll never betray you again.  What can I do, Michael, what can I do?”  Since everything’s just one big show in this office, everyone else in the bullpen just stares on, sympathetic for the poor guy.  “WhatcanIdo?  WhatcanIdo?” he continues to beg while positioning himself in downward dog.

Ryan still doesn’t know what the hell is going on.  He never does.

With an exhale, Michael makes his demands.  “You can get up,” he says quietly, “Get up.”  A pathetic-looking, drooling Dwight gets up, and

“…And you can hug it out, bitch.”

they hug it out, bitch.

Mannheim Blood won the battle, but Schrute Blood won the war.

“‘Hug it out… bitch’,” Michael elaborates to the crew, “That is what men say to each other, after a fight.

“They hug it out, and doing so, they just… let it go.
Michael and Dwight enjoy each other watching something in the conference room.

“And walk away.  And they’re done.  Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however…
Angela looks on at the two men bonding, riddling herself with guilt that she could ever push Dwight to do what he did to his friend.  This won’t be the last time she’ll regret hurting Dwight, either.

“I have found.  It doesn’t translate.”  Yeah, no it doesn’t.


As Karen packs her stuff up and leaves, she walks by Jim and acts throwing a grenade at him.  He plays along, throwing some paper clips and making her laugh.  He grins as he returns to his “work,” as Karen walks away happy.

Very happy.


“Yep.  Yeah, we hugged it out,” Michael concludes to the crew, “But, it turns out, I was still a little angry.

“So, I felt I needed to punish him, just a little bit more,
Dwight stands on top of some boxes of paper wearing a crudely made necklace with a piece of paper, the word ‘LIAR’ written on it.  He hangs his head in shame.

“and I’m making him do my laundry for a year.”


Jim decides to work ‘overtime’ to hone his skills in Call of Duty.

“Oh?  Someone’s left out in the open, taking a little siesta,” he thinks out loud, “Not smart.”  He goes in for the kill, his tenth kill in the past four months.  “Whoo!  Let’s go—”

“Hey, Jim?”

Jan drove to Stamford for a last-minute meeting with Josh regarding Scranton.  The meeting ran late.

He turns around to find her, standing right next to Karen’s empty desk.

He’s playing a video game using company property.  And Jan is right there.

Oh, God.  “Heyyy, Jan.”

“Working overtime, huh?” she asks in her usual delivery, slinking next to him.

“Mm-hm,” he nervously nods his head.

She can’t help but chuckle, “You’re fine Jim,” she reassures, “I know all about Josh’s ‘team-building’.  You guys are more productive than Scranton, at least.”  The disdain in that last sentence is subtle but noticeable.

“I can imagine,” he adds, still shaken about the possibility of being reprimanded.

“Oh, you know what, I gotta get back to New York, but remind me to tell you what Dwight said to me earlier today, okay?” she says happily, “You’ll get a big kick out of it.”

“Will do.”  Dammit, now I’m curious.

Five feet from the front door, she turns around.  “Oh, and uh, one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Just…”  She thinks for a moment, trying to find the right way to say what she wants to as vaguely as possible.  “You can trust me.”

He looks at her inquisitively, “Okay,” he politely responds, feeling awkward.

Jan knows he doesn’t get it yet, but he will soon.  With a small smile and nod, she’s off.

He turns his attention back to the game.  He finds someone else asleep at their po—

He pauses.  The gears in his head turn, face falling and eyes widening.  His avatar dies yet again but he’s too stunned to give it any mind.

It hits him.

He grabs his cell.


Pam’s in the parking lot, putting her stuff in the car when she gets a text.

{hey. sorry, I know we dont usually chat on mondays}

{It’s fine! Honestly, I need a bit of a pick-me-up right now ~_~}
{What’s up?}

{Jan knows}

{…Knows what?}

{she KNOWS}

She pauses.  The gears in his head turn, face falling and eyes widening.

It hits her.

She knows.

Chapter End Notes:

The Monologue — This callout post was a satisfying write.  Pam needed to get through to Jim, and harshly, though I also wanted to show that she’s not blameless here, either; she flat-out lied to the guy about how she really felt.  I wanted to share that this new voice she’s gained also comes with accepting more responsibility, something they both had difficulty doing throughout Seasons 2–3.  They’re being honest with each other, something that was never onscreen after he asked her out (and has been interpreted in this website many a time, including here).

The Episode — This is premiere Dwight.  Everything about this episode embodies him as a person and my word is it ever entertaining.  Michael, once again, is smart in his odd sort of way, knowing exactly how to break Dwight down.  It’s great.  Andy continues to be absolutely insufferable.  Jim may come off as a jerk for the whole phone prank and “Drew”, which I get, but IMO it’s deserved; not only that, it both saved Andy’s life and paved the way for the fun Andy.  I was wondering how to handle Pam in this chapter since she’s certainly gained some confidence, but I figured that she only has around Jim, who’s not around.
No, nothing’s gonna happen between Karen and Jim.  It was fun writing her and Jan’s perspectives (which will play a significant role in their monologues).
There’s a lot of good deleted scenes here, but I wanted to utilize two in particular.  The “Schrute and Mannheim Bloods” talking head is so damn good that I hate it got cut, so I used it for the narration.  Jan catching Jim playing CoD was significantly changed but I liked the concept, which is why I made it push the plot forward.  Lastly, I really wanted to reference the Mr. Krabs/Carl Wheezer M&M video here, but I couldn’t in a subtle way.  Give it a watch, it’s good stuff.

Workplace Relationships — Jan’s discovery was an incentive to get the ball rolling for something I wanted to explore, if only for a couple of chapters: whether or not their relationship would be approved by the company.  It sparked as I remembered that scene with Toby and the forms from “Dunder Mifflin Infinity”: what if it was more than just a document?  What if someone besides Toby found it out?  Someone from corporate?
I asked myself if I needed to add this element of JAM in an approved workplace relationship as a dramatic plot point, but then I realized 1) the canon story was just as dramatic, if not more, and 2) workplace relationships are still a taboo in the real world.  In some companies pretty much every company, they push against it, and even if it’s fine there are still barriers when it comes to a company approving two employees dating in real life.  Not to mention the various rules enforced, which even JAM have broken in-canon.  And with a company like Dunder friggin’ Mifflin, that makes the stakes higher.


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