From inside the wood paneled walls of the den came hums of easy-going laughter intermixed with exaggerated gasps and hushed whispers.

“You didn’t.”

“I was dared, I had to. You would have done the same.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You were always much cheekier than me.”

The cheerful tones of the women continued as Jim returned to the room after bathing and putting the kids to sleep so Pam could have some private Beesly time catching up with her sister.

“And what are you ladies giggling about?”

“Oh, just the bra my sister left after she danced on the bar at Hogs and Heifers.”

Jim flashed a look of mock surprise to his sister-in-law, before he took his place on the couch beside his wife.

“Oh, come on Beesly, you didn’t do anything like that in all your time in New York? I seem to recall a voicemail you left on a pretty wild night back during your New York stint.”

Truth was Jim still didn’t know much about what had ensued that night, for one because Pam’s memory of it was hazy at best and he never pressed her to try and remember. But a part of him was looking for a little reassurance there wasn’t another Beesly bra adorning the walls of the New York gin mill.

“Did they go down okay?” Pam asked as Jim settled into his regular spot and scooched her into his arms, the subtle hint of baby shampoo and Desitin filling her nose as he stroked her side with a gentle caress. “How was Phil’s rash?”

“Getting better. He actually went right down without protest when I put him in his crib. Cece, however wanted three stories tonight. The moose got a muffin, the mouse a cookie and the pig got a pancake and now I’m going to need a little more stimulating conversation so let’s hear about that bar dance, Penny.”

“Nope, you’ll have to hear from Pam later, since I know she’s going to tell you all about it. I want to hear more about the bitch who tried to horn in on my sister’s territory.”

Penny didn’t get to visit often but that didn’t keep the sisters from talking regularly. Pam had told her all about Cathy and her actions down in Florida, more than once. It seemed, however, she wanted to hear the sordid tale right from him, probably so she could tease him about his oozing sex appeal and irresistibleness to females, which would somehow lead back to her telling Pam how lucky she was she ditched Roy and chose Jim instead, something that always made him blush and had him correcting Penny as to who was the true lucky one.

Pam and Penny weren’t always the kind of sisters that told each other everything. 5-and-a-half years of separation between them meant that they weren’t quite in the same social orbit when they were young. The one and only time they were in school together was when Penny was kindergarten and her world was swings at recess, crayon drawings and keeping the nasty boys from knocking down her block towers while Pam, in her final year of elementary, had moved on to navigating girl cliques, oil pastels and struggling with multiplying fractions.

As they grew up, they were always close, having shared familial experiences and bonds from their mutual genetics but they were not necessarily confidants. At their different stages of life and because Penny had always been naturally a bit flirtier and bubblier while Pam was more introverted and quieter, the younger sibling didn’t seek out the advice or the confidence of her big sister while they were living in the same home, at least until Roy came along. But by then Pam was so wrapped up in dating a football star, she couldn’t relate to the middle school dramatics Penny was dealing with. Truth be told it was only after Pam left Roy, thanks to the tearful confession of the man she now shared her life with, that she turned to her sister for support and advice and their sisterly bond blossomed into the intimate friendship they enjoyed now.

Back then Penny helped Pam through her painful, post-Roy, pre-Jim period but in the time since Pam rediscovered herself, her strength and the love Jim still had for her, she and Penny’s roles essentially reversed.  Over the years that followed, Pam saw her younger sister through a series of her own unhealthy and self-destructive relationships. Seems Penny, despite her confidence and charm, similar to the rest of the Beesly woman, had the tendency to lose her sense of self when paired with a partner who was more about cutting her down than propping her up. Apparently, Penny was drawn to this type, like Pam once was.

Her last romance, with an aspiring, but delusional rock star had her quitting her job to follow him to Westchester where he returned to live with his parents while pursuing his music career. It was with Pam’s encouragement and Jim’s insistence that she could do better, that Penny had finally freed herself from going nowhere with him and came back to Scranton a few months ago.

Single once more but looking, she was back to speed dating and frequenting the local bars but had already set her mind to move away yet again, claiming Pam had scooped up the last good man in Scranton and if she were ever going to find a boyfriend, much less a husband who could match the high standards Jim set for romance and partnership, she would need to seek him elsewhere.

“So, what were you doing in New York anyway,” Jim asked after he refilled the wine glasses that the sisters had emptied while he’d been attending to the kids and poured a glass for himself. “Besides sharing those Beesly dance moves with the Manhattan crowd.”  

“Well, Mindy and Trish came with me to go apartment hunting and we decided to make a girl’s night of it.”

At that, Pam began to choke on the Cabernet Jim had just topped off, nearly spilling what was still in the glass as her quaking diaphragm radiated out to her whole body including the hand clasped around the crystal stem. Jim’s quick coordination in grabbing it saved the couch from having a burgundy blotch join the myriad of other stains it was slowly becoming painted with over the past few years.

“Did I hear you correctly, did you say apartment hunting?”

“Yeah Pammy, I told you I would be moving again soon.”

“I get that but New York City? How do you plan on affording that? Oh, and I’ve told you a million times, don’t call me Pammy.”

Keeping her focus straight ahead she elbowed her husband who she knew was mouthing the words along with her as she yet again reminded her sister of her dislike for the moniker she acquired growing up in the Beesly household.

“Okay, shall I call you Helene instead cause you sound just like her.”

The body behind her vibrated in amusement, stopping only when the elbow jabbed back at it this time got dangerously lower and a little more forceful.

“Very funny both of you,” Pam laughed artificially as she swung around with a glare to her husband that he understood quite clearly, she would need support here instead of mocking.

“Penny, Pam’s right, New York is crazy expensive.”

“Remember, I got free room and board for being a RA and I still had to get a job to afford Brooklyn when I went to Pratt.”

“Yeah, okay Mom. I know how expensive the city is.”

The roll of Penny’s eyes expressed her disinterest in hearing the cost differential of Electric City living against the Bright Lights Big City lifestyle but Pam continued anyway, her motherly instincts even stronger now that she was one twice over.

“Pen, I don’t think you do. We took Cece to Disney on Ice last month at Madison Square Garden. We saw the show, had dinner, took a few cabs to get around and I had to cash in one of the savings bonds that dad had for us to pay the month’s Visa bill.”

It was a bit of an exaggeration. Pam had in fact cashed in her bonds, the ones their father had purchased when they were little but had only recently learned they had completely matured and were no longer gaining interest. But she only used a small portion of it to pay off the credit card. The rest she and Jim agreed would be best to put towards opening 529 college plans for the kids.

She assumed Penny similarly cashed in her bonds, though at 5 years her senior, Penny’s may still have had a few years to go before they stopped increasing in value.

“Funny you bring up the bonds. It's because of the bonds I can afford New York.”

Pam recalled how much hers were worth in the end and guessing on Manhattan rents, the sum just might cover the finder’s fee and security deposit on a fifth-floor walk-up studio on the upper, upper west side. It crossed her mind, if the bonds were purchased separately the sisters might have gotten different amounts, but that much of a difference? It didn’t seem like her dad. Penny had always teased her older sister how she was his favorite but she never bought it, maybe until now. Penny must have seen it in her face, explaining just as Pam settled in her head that there was no way her dad would have purchased any more for either one of them. He always kept things equal between them right down to the amount of money he still tucked into the card for their birthday each year.

“Relax, I didn’t get more than you. I invested my share.”

“Oh, Penny, you didn’t?” Her look changed from confusion with a touch of jealousy to pity and mild disapproval.

Dan, or Slasher as he went by, the drummer that Penny had fled to Westchester with was not great with money, as evidenced by his need to live with his parents. Not only did he constantly mooch off Penny but was always coming up with investment schemes for them, mostly to do with his band and friends launching Kickstarters or looking for seed money in ridiculous start-up companies. He even bugged her to go to Pam and Jim on occasion to be angel investors for some of the more serious, but still doomed-to-fail gambles. She knew Penny, against Jim’s and her advice, had thrown a small sum to a crowdfunding project here and there but always thought her sister was savvy enough to know not to drop any real money down on any of the ridiculous ventures he brought to her.

“Pam, don’t worry. I listened to you mostly. I passed on the metronome drum sticks and the Hot Pockets food truck and the Funko Pop dollhouse idea.”

“You passed on a Funko Pop dollhouse investment?!”

Pam was unsurprised by Jim’s exaggerated mocking. Furthermore, she knew who he would suggest they bring the idea to should the company still need backers.

“I know someone who’d not only invest but buy out the inventory.”

Ignored by both sisters, Jim’s comment was left unanswered as Penny went on to explain about the investment she found worthy of the entire sum of her bond cash-out.

“Pam, this wasn’t one some crazy plan from one of Slasher’s friends. This came from some ex-hot-shot from some mid-level company, someone he knew because he gave his son drum lessons. The guy was a real businessman with a real idea for a product. He had a prospectus and a 10-year plan and seemed to know his stuff. And my investment already paid off because the company got sold for like a ton of money and my share was a sweet sum.”

“Was it a pretty penny, Penny?” Jim asked with a snicker, only to get a glare from his wife who wasn’t done with her disapproval of Penny’s financial dealings. Pam assumed her luck this time might lead her to do something like it again and next time it could be the opposite of profitable. Penny wasn’t exactly pennywise when it came to investments and she could lose her shirt as quickly as her bra at Hogs and Heifers if she wasn’t careful.

“Jim, don’t encourage her,” she said before turning back to her sister. She knew she was acting like a mom or at least a very protective older sister but especially if Penny would be moving to the very expensive city, she wanted to instill in her how she carefully she would need to manage her money from now on.

“I know that look and before you say anything more, I promise this was a one-time thing. I knew I was a taking a risk, but I figured it was the one time I could so I went for it. I had this really good feeling about this guy and company once I saw the name of the product, I felt it was like a sign. It made me think of us when we were kids and that thing you used to say whenever you teased me, so as much as I heard your voice over my left shoulder telling me not to, I also heard your voice from long ago and it was challenging me to go for it.”

Jim was curious. There was a lot Pam told him about growing up with Penny and a lot his sister-in-law had shared about his wife from the time she was younger and he had an inkling what the phrase might be since he’d heard it used many times towards himself.

“I’m curious, what was this thing she used to say to you?”

Penny looked right to Jim put her hands on her hips, jutted out her face and with her most Pam-like voice she said, “Suck It, Penny.”