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Story Notes:

I own nothing. Not one single right to these characters. Don't sue. You'll be disappointed.

Author's Chapter Notes:

I'm often inspired by songs and this one has always been a favorite of mine, but I recently heard a version of it that reminded me of our JAM even more!

BTW, I own nothing. Less than no rights to these characters. Don't sue. You'll be disappointed.

 

Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time

Maybe I’m afraid of the way I love you 

 

I learn something new about her almost every day. You would think this would be impossible, seeing as we’ve called each other best friend’s for years. But there it is. It turns out I didn’t know as much about Pam Beesly as I thought I did. I’m leaning silly things, serious things…I have never enjoyed the education process this much.

 

Styrofoam is her kryptonite – she absolutely can not take the sound of something being pulled out of Styrofoam. So when we buy something new together she goes into another room while I open it. It’s the craziest thing, but it’s so damn cute. I yell so she can hear me, “All clear! The Styrofoam of death is gone now!” and she tells me it’s not funny. But it is.

 

I make sure and push it down to the bottom of the trash can so she doesn’t have to deal with it.

Maybe I’m amazed at the way you pulled me out of time

And hung me on a line

Maybe I’m amazed at the way I really need you 

Since being with her, my emotions have become contradictions of sorts. Being her boyfriend has made me both humble and cocky. And if it’s possible to be happy and angry at once, then it’s happened to me a handful of times now. The first entire weekend we spent together, I performed the very strenuous task of emptying the dishwasher. When I looked up at her to say something, she was staring back at me…like I was God.

 

As one could imagine, a sense of unadulterated confidence shot through me, but the confidence turned to something else in the pit of my stomach. As I put away a coffee mug, anger brewed inside me. Someone as wonderful as she was being impressed by a guy who emptied the dish washer was wrong on more levels than I could count. No matter what she says, and what I have to say to keep the peace…Roy is an asshole.

 

I just have to keep in mind: his loss is my gain and make sure she knows that when that shadow crosses behind my eyes it isn’t about her…I’m still working on that.

 

Never have I really suffered from a lack of confidence, but Pam makes me feel like I can do anything - even those things that don’t come painfully easy to me. She also makes me fearful of the first time I really fuck up and she finally realizes I’m just a guy after all. A mere mortal – not a God.

 

It’s going to happen sooner or later.

~~~~~~~

Maybe I’m a girl

Maybe I’m a lonely girl who’s in the middle of something

That she doesn’t really understand 

 

I can’t believe I ever questioned how he and I would work. How we would fair in the treacherous journey between friendship and love. But it’s seamless and perfect and scary how much I love him. It’s even scarier how much he loves me.

 

Jim puts as much effort into the little things as he does the big ones and it’s inexplicable to me how much he attends to my every triviality.

 

When I start singing along with a song on the radio or even just humming, he leaves it. He never changes the station just because ‘it’s his car’ or the song is ‘so played out’.

 

His apartment is cold in the dead of winter and he doesn’t think twice about leaving the heater on long past the point of decency...‘Pam, it’s not a Cadillac…it’s heat. It’s not going to break me.’

Maybe I’m a girl

And maybe you’re the only man who could ever help me

Baby won’t you help me understand? 

 

He doesn’t get it when I do things like drive all the way downtown to pick up soft shell crab from his favorite restaurant. When I present a six-pack of his favorite imported beer and light candles through the living room to the dining room of my tiny apartment. He says I didn’t have to go through all the trouble, even though all I did was heat it up – I couldn’t make soft shell crab if I tried! I try and explain to him that it doesn’t matter if it’s not his birthday and that supplying my refrigerator with a dozen containers of Mixed Berry when I had my wisdom teeth pulled was a very big deal. He doesn’t think so. He doesn’t get it…and that’s what makes him great.

 

I want to take care of him the way he takes care of me and I wonder if I can. He was doing it long before I realized and now it’s second nature to him. I’m excited to get the practice.

Maybe I’m amazed at the way you’re with me all the time

Maybe I’m afraid of the way I leave you 

Maybe I’m amazed at the way you help me sing my song

Right me when I’m wrong

Maybe I’m amazed at the way I really need you

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Chapter End Notes:

Lyrics from Maybe I’m Amazed . Originally this was done by Paul McCartney, but the latest incarnation by an artist named Jem inspired this story (hence, a female POV in the song).



LoveFool is the author of 48 other stories.
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