The documentary crew is about to start filming but they need an actress undercover, to make things a little interesting. Pam wants the long term job, only it'll prove much harder than she thought, especially in terms of not getting involved with the subjects.
1 Loved following this story from start to finish. It was a nice spin to the entire premise of the documentary and it was amazing seeing Pam and her inner turmoil because of feelings that she was having for Jim.
Great job here!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! This story took a lot of time, because it was a bit difficult to make Pam a little... mean, I guess?
Anyways, thanks again!
1 Well, first things first. Congratulations on finishing your recent story. I have yet to finish it and I'm already reading this one! I honestly have no idea how you do this.
Oh my God, the frisbee and falsetto reference, I am so amused by it. Nice ode to her actual dislikes.
Ryan on a dating app? And with those pretentious photos. Just when I thought, it couldn't get any better, she also sees Michael in it. She should've washed her eyes with bleach lol
“It’s because you’re with me.” -- I felt that. I feel like this is going to be a long journey for these two. And with Jim/Katy, why do I feel like I'm going to feel bad for her?
Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! And haha, I was in theory thinking of taking a break from rambling Jim and Pam AUs after I finished my other fic, but then I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. I am planning for it to be much shorter than my other ones though (I think six chapters, unless I get sidetracked…) Glad you enjoyed Pam’s terrible date! And Ryan’s dating profile lol (I really would love to see his, and Michael’s). Thanks so much for taking the time to review!
I am so confused now about how I feel about Katy (maybe it's because I read the last three chapters back to back). It's still awful that she slept with Roy and then lived with him and Pam but I guess she really did regret it? I'm glad she put Jim out of his misery though by giving him an out. I guess he never learned from not terrible Louise.
That voicemail. Ugh. I can totally feel the pain Jim was feeling. At least he finally got it out.
So glad Jim fucked around with Danny. Hope he didn't get into too much trouble for it.
Can't wait to read the epilogue!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! Yeah, I think in Katy’s mind she made a mistake that she did really regret - but she knew afterwards that she only liked Roy as a friend, so was sort of ok living with him…I definitely think Roy’s more at fault here though, lol. And I’d like to think Jim would eventually have got there haha, but Katy sped things up. Glad you enjoyed Jim fucking with Danny too, that was a lot of fun to write :D
1 Okay, you can forget everything I've said about Katy in the previous chapters. (And I was really praying that Jim wouldn't just cheat on her so I'm kinda glad they broke up) That was just brutal. I'm gonna have to be hard on Jim on this too. He had weeks to tell Pam, but chose not to. I really wished he realized he had to tell her at some point, and he should have just ripped the band aid out.
It's so heartbreaking to watch him beg and plead though. And the 'I can't reference'. I wonder how this will end?
Author's Response:
Haha - yes, Katy may have made a little mistake…hopefully she doesn’t come over as a total villain if you read on. And yeah, not Jim’s finest moment either. I have tried to keep the angst relatively minimal/short-lived though 😁 Thanks so much for reviewing!
1 Have a lot to catch up on. I love the story about Jim and not terrible Louise. As horrible as he led her on, that non-confrontational part about him is so relatable and I couldn't really blame him. The part about going down on her so he wouldn't see her face was just hilarious. And of course, Pam just had to walk in on them.
Ugh, Danny. So perfect you just want to punch him in the face Danny. And all because he forgot his wallet. A part of me almost wishes that Jim wouldn't help her but he's gonna be too good of a friend to leave her hanging out to dry.
Great job!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! And haha, I wondered if the Louise thing was a bit far, but…I feel I could also see Jim doing something like that. And lol, the Danny in your fic is so nice that I felt a bit bad about making him into a tool here…you have made him much dreamier. Thank you so much for the review!
1 "She didn’t think Jim had noticed. Thank god." - Sure keep telling yourself that, Pam. If Jim does feel a certain way about her, he definitely would have noticed it.
By the way, I love this universe where they're both out there, living their dreams (somewhat). It's just an amazing little tidbit. I also love how they're supportive of each other even if their interests do not exactly match.
I don't know if I'm reading it wrong but I'm really liking Katy in this story. She seems like a normal girlfriend? And it kind of goes in line with canon since she was kind of nice in the three episodes she was in. I hope the inevitable (??) breakup won't be too heartbreaking. Roy can go jump off a cliff. What a dick.
Erin reminds me of that coworker you would just love to smack on the head.
Alan the cartoonist! Will he try not to be edgy?
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! Jim and Pam supporting each other is always something I love. And no, I'm totally with you on Katy - I thought she seemed nice in the episodes so I didn't want to do her down here. So I don't think she's as bad as I've written Roy (but that doesn't necessarily mean she's right for Jim...)
Haha, Erin is definitely that coworker! And lol - more on Alan's edginess (or not) is coming.
Thanks so much for reading and your review!
1 Well, at least Pam didn't sleep with him. I was so close to thinking they were just gonna have sex and he wouldn't call her again. I wonder what caused Jim to say he's a dick.
I'm still glad that you're not portraying Katy to be a bitch. It's almost kind of amusing because she does mean well (Roy, on the other hand...what kind of a fiancee buys a two dollar bar of soap?). I'm kind of siding with her on this one because Jim seems to be all over the place when it comes to being honest.
I think Jim genuinely wanted the Danny thing to work out just so Pam could come out of her shell more. It must've broken his heart a bit that it didn't (feelings for Pam aside). Can't wait to read the rest!
Author's Response:
Thank you! Yeah, I always got the impression Katy was genuinely well-meaning (well, in that brief glimpse we saw of her on the show), even if she doesn’t quite get it. But I don’t think Jim’s conflict avoidance would really have helped in that relationship either, lol. Thanks so much for reading!
Sometime in the distant future, the UN intercepts a message from a planet sixteen lightyears away. You, Dr. Jim Halpert, are one of the world’s leading anthropologists, specializing in interspecies communication. You have been chosen to make the journey to the source of the message, the third planet from the star Altair. Along with you are captain and veteran astronaut Michael Scott, engineer and astronaut Dwight Schrute, and cosmologist Dr. Pam Beesly. With ten possible endings, choose your own story as you travel through the galaxy, and maybe find love along the way. Inspired by a Choose Your Own Adventure™ children’s book of the same name by Edward Packard.
1 The sadistic part of me wanted Michael to die. Lol. Aww, I was kinda hoping I'd still get to go on another adventure even if it was six months later. Guess I'll be re-exploring the other choices.
Author's Response: Haha I could never kill just Michael. He's my favorite. Thank you for reading!
An AU inspired by Couples Retreat (feat. Jam on a tropical island, under Michael’s expert relationship guidance).
1 Oh my God! You’re back!! Not a review of this chapter but I’m just excited.
Have a jellybean just for returning.
Author's Response:
Haha oh thank you so much!! I’m very glad to be back :D
1 Finally caught up with this! I enjoyed every second I spent reading this fic and I'm really glad you're updating again.
Season 9 Jim and Pam, despite being painful to watch, is actually one of my favorite story arcs and you've executed it here perfectly. I really feel the struggles that the two of them are facing, from failing to read one another especially in the things that matter to their inability to communicate. It's a tough two week vacation for them but it's one that they needed.
Another thing you've done well is making me care about Mark and Isabel like wow, I never expected to be invested in their marriage since they're very very minor characters in canon.
Also, fuck Charles Miner.
Can't wait for the next update! Have a jellybean!
Author's Response:
Ah, thanks so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying it. Yeah, I also really enjoyed the season 9 arc (despite the angst), so have enjoyed combining it with a handy couples retreat lol. And ha yes I realise I am wildly making up Mark and Isabel at this point - but they have been fun to write! Thanks very much for the review and jellybean :)
Great chapter!! We all love a strong and independent Pam. Go have all the french toast you want. Although, we really have to wonder what she wears on a daily basis if her closet looked like that.
Gerald moving to another state after Betsy rejected him? Now that’s a story we all want to hear. Although, why do I have a feeling I’ve heard this all before?
Beauty in Ordinary Things Illustrations? Sounds like a great company. Maybe a rich CEO?
No jellybeans but have a pie from Laverne’s.
Author's Response:
Why thank you!
Maybe Pam can turn her illustration company into a marketing company. Seems like a good idea
Thanks for the pie, I love it
Oh my God. Somebody hand me a tissue to wipe all the sweat from my forehead. Jim catching a dildo with his bare hands? So raunchy.
Pam, please read a contract before signing it. For all you know, Michael could have sold you to a Nigerian prince and you wouldn't have a clue.
In all seriousness, this was really funny and verging on all levels of porny, except it's not because they don't really do anything. Pam dumping the dildo in that jello mixture just tops the cake. Loving that creativity.
No jellybeans? It's fine. Have whatever Phil's making.
Author's Response:
I mean, what is the point of setting The Office in a porno if you're not gonna put a dildo in jello? I mean...
I guess I'll take what Phil's making, yeughhhh
Yay!! They broke up. Go make your own damn sandwich, Roy.
"Because I love you," he said again. -> *in Chris Hemsworth's voice* Did you though? He's gonna be bawling his eyes out over the thought of having to look for another maid... I mean fiance. Right. Fiance.
Great scene with Pam and her mom. Now call Penny, Pam. She must be reeling with excitement over the news.
Author's Response:
Yeah I was super happy I finally put a stop to this relationship. Good luck finding a new maid Roy
Oh I bet Penny will be happy indeed
Well, the dinner was fun and exciting. Great way to cap off their budding careers in the world of sleazy titles and corny dialogue (maybe porn, maybe a really bad sitcom…who knows?)
That was one time!" Michael shouted. "I had gum in my hair, how else was I meant to get it out?" -> What did he do? You know, I don’t even wanna know.
Also, he called Pam babe. Now that is the real firework in this chapter.
Author's Response: I don't think anyone ever wants to do anything that Michael does. Best we leave that one alone.
I've gone to the Lake with Kenny. I'll be back Sunday and you can talk then. -> How gracious. Best fiance ever.
Pam getting make up was nice. Although, would anyone really trust Kelly to their makeup for her? She seems like the type to ruin a person’s face so she could be the hottest girl in the room. Glad it all worked out for her though.
"Yeah, it was kinda a strange evening. Shame you weren't there, we definitely missed you," Jim said. -> Yes, “we” definitely missed you.
There had been one time at her first art show in high school where he'd come along and called her art ‘the prettiest art of all the art'. That was the night she'd lost her virginity to him. -> He’s so romantic. I can’t believe they didn’t get married right then and there.
Jim, if you really wanted to not get turned on, just think it’s Dwight sexily eating a beet. That should do the trick.
I guess I can give you a grilled cheese but Jim still has to make it.
Author's Response:
I really love how douchey I made Roy in this. In my mind, he's barely able to speak he's that much of a moron.
Jim's gotta be cool, you know? He's crushing on an engaged woman
I'll happily take anything Jim makes
The porno should be titled Six on Seven.
Oh God. Jan and Hunter. That was surprising. Hmm, That One Night. Sounds like a porno title to me.
It had to be enough. -> Narrator: It wasn't enough.
Meatloaf instead of a jellybean?
Author's Response:
Oh That One Night is DEFINITELY a porno. And definitely one that I never, ever want to see
It had to be enough. -> Narrator: It wasn't enough. This had me HOWLING
"Jeez, what's got into you today Pammy?" Roy slurred through a glug of orange juice straight from the carton. -> He deserves to be dumped just for doing this.
"Oh yeah, here we go,"‘Jim replied as he started to make her tea in an old Snoopy mug. -> Yay for the Snoopy mug. Don't go giving it to other people Jim.
Kevin is gonna be the breakout star in this fic. I can already feel it.
Oh God, didn't realize that cute emoji scene could be very porny. Glass shattered.
No jellybeans for this. A spicy hotdog will do. Twss.
Author's Response: Sorry for ruining the emoji scene. I think anything is a porn scene if you squint hard enough. Twss?
I'm the shoulder to cry on and I'll have to convince her to make up with the jerk off because I'm THAT guy. -> I saw what you did there.
"And Jim, lose the necklace. Girl." -> Ugh. Dwight, I thought I liked you in this fic.
"I've got some meat for you," Jim said, as he began to thrust slightly, trying not to laugh at the awfulness of the script. -> Oh God. Lee and Gene should probably write for a comedy show.
Oh Roy. Let's take a look back shall we? You're the one who wanted her to take the job and now you're complaining? Like... what gives?
Meat over jellybeans.
Author's Response:
What can I say, I'm a genius. I'm just glad there's someone else out there that gets all these references.
I totally forgot about the 'necklace'. Not cool Dwight.
Thanks for your meat? *Insert gif of shrugging Jim*
"Hi, I'm Kevin," drawled a larger guy. "I'm the script supervisor." -> Oh God.
"Brian. I'm on sound," the guy said smiling at Pam. She half heartedly returned the smile -> Eww. Kill it with fire. Put some gasoline on it and just burn the hell out of it.
"Ha, that's funny. Just as long as you don't go off and marry this stand in," -> Roy obviously went to the school of foreshadowing. This is why you shouldn't don't say things like this to your fiancee, lest you be made fun of by the world.
So in lieu of a jellybean, just have Jim's nose. That is what you wanted, right?
Author's Response: Jim's nose? Oh, you mean his NOSE right? Right?
Stephen and Lori need more screentime in fics. They are such unsung heroes.
The silence continued for what seemed like hours but was only 27 seconds. -> Let's all hope things between them last longer than those 27 seconds of silence.
I may have made a mistake giving you all those jellybeans in chapter 2. Have some Italian food instead. You seem to be really passionate about it.
Author's Response: Thanks for the Italian food, I AM really passionate about it. Another fic about Stephen and Lori? Maybe not so much
1 You deserve all five of my jellybeans for that Krasinski callback. So awesome.
Katy blowing Jim behind a counter while he's in front of a customer? Now there's something we don't see everyday. I love it.
Author's Response:
Why thank you kindly.
We don't see it every day, thank goodness
1 I’m glad Toby was able to go to this trip. I’m sure Pam will be thanking him on her wedding day. Just keep the whiskey away from him. He should probably get Jim some clothes as a wedding gift.
Great job with this fic! Let’s all be thankful those EMTs didnt remove that blanket.
Author's Response: Well thanks sweetcheeks
You just kinda wanna give Jim a hug at this point. Here are all my reactions to that sweet, sweet father-son bonding moment.
"Congratulations, you two," Gerald called over to them. "A grandchild is always a blessing." - Okay, we're off to a good start.
She looked over to see Gerald give the smallest shake of his head. - Oh no.
"Sounds like maybe you need a little more focus at work Jim, whip your staff into shape," Gerald said with a small scoff. - OH NO. GERALD. DON'T.
"Well, that's what us lawyers do," Gerald proudly said. "It's important to put in the time and the hard work to make sure you get the results you want. You can't let others pick up the slack for you." - GERALD. STOP.
"You don't want to see a boss that slopes off in the middle of the day and needs to rely on other people for his ideas." *facepalm* (Also, we all need a best friend like Mark)
"A word, James?" he asked. --> He's trying to enjoy his terrible chocolate, Gerald.
Jim saw his father shake his head slightly before taking a large glug from his glass. --> God damn it, Gerald.
"I meant before, when you move, will you be coming home? You know your mother and I would want you to move closer to us, so we can see more of you and the baby," Gerald said, trying to ease the obvious tension between the two of them. --> Okay, baby steps. No more passive aggressive scoffs please.
"Well, she seems to be. I still don't quite understand why you couldn't win the pitch for this new client on your own." --> *flips over imaginary table* Nooooo, don't bring Pam into this. That's not gonna go well.
"It doesn't matter who came up with the idea dad, I don't get why you're so fixated on her helping me with a pitch." --> Oh no. He's starting to get pissed.
"Well, you never seemed quite so distracted when you were dating her," Gerald said, motioning up to the TV. --> GERALD.
"You just seem to be losing focus since you met her. I mean, the first thing you did was lose that pitch to her. And now with the baby, it's only going to get worse." Gerald said with a shake of his head before taking a long glug of his drink. --> *sighs*
"So don't stand there and lecture me that I'm jeopardising anything just because I'm not so fucking obsessed with my job as you are." --> JAMES. That is your father. (Granted, Gerald was being a bit much... but still)
Sweet moment between Jim and Betsy (Gerald loves you Jim. Don't give up on him!) but yeah, sad night for Jim overall. At least he got a blowjob out of it. What a king.
This is my favorite chapter, thus far. I really wish I can give you all these angsty jellybeans but unfortunately, you'll have to settle for a Jim-tastic surprise in the shower.
Author's Response: I would say I’m sorry, but this is your own doing. And I’m infinitely thankful for your help on this chapter as angst is not my forte at all. But at least he got a blowjob. Silver linings and all. What a king indeed. Thank you for your kind words! And thank you for the wet Jim. You know that’s my favourite kind of Jim.
Pseudonyms, Please: William M. Buttlicker
Email: athleap_lover@hotmail.com
Subject: Extra Spicy Tuna
Seems like little Miss CEO should be keeping an eye out for her secretary. Rumor has it that she's had her eye out for a certain daddy and she might be sending a different kind of Christmas card to him.
Speaking of hot commodities, this hotshot CEO who's friends with all these big sports names seems to be head over heels for his baby mama. Word around the street is she set his dick on fire but couldn't care less. He also sounds like a masochist since he was seen carrying a big box of hot sauce to her office. Now if that's not true love, I don't know what is.
These two lovebirds were also spotted in an expensive hospital. Now you didn't hear it from me but they got one of those crazy doctors that rich people always seem to gravitate to. Everything seems to be fine as they were seen leaving the building with happy tears in their eyes. Isn't that sweet?
I was at the annual Marketing Awards and let me tell you, little miss CEO has a lot of things to worry about. First of all, a bunch of her employees seem skeptical about Mr. Hotshot. Not the talkative one, but the one with the accent and the blonde uptight one. Little Ms. CEO may be in love with him but they're not drinking whatever Kool Aid he's offering.
You know who is though? A certain Karen who was spotted flirting with Mr. Hotshot. He should steer clear of her though. I heard she's looking to speak to the bar's manager.
That's all I have. No jellybeans but maybe Andy can give you one. But let's not kid ourselves. He'll probably pretend to almost reach for the check but Mr. Hotshot will save the day.
Author's Response:
Oh god, I don't even know how to reply to the GENIUS that is this review. I am not worthy *bows down to you*
I'm just going to leave it there, other than THANK YOU and watch out for Sunday Spotted next week...
Jim laughing at glory holes? No amount of money in the world can get you to be mature. Relatable king.
Ugh, Jim. Gerald is trying. Just give him a chance. I’m sure he feels extremely shitty for what he did. Pam clearly doesn’t want you to have a bad relationship with him.
So he gets caught jerking off in the shower then she knees him on the balls. Both in a span of three days. Must be true love. Or a pregnant and horny Pam is crazy in bed.
Pam’s probably waiting for the baby to come out so that it can tell Helene. (See, I can also make Friends references my reviews) Come on Pam, just tell your mom you managed to get a billionaire to knock you up. Problem solved.
Uh oh. Looks like Kelly and Angela don’t quite believe that Pam isn’t letting a man dictate how her business will go. Good luck telling them about your plans to stay in London with your boyfriend.
Really, really love how this is going so far. Still no jellybeans but you can have this bottle of sriracha. Maybe keep it away from Jim. His penis has already been through enough.
Author's Response:
Glory holes make me giggle so much. I mean, why wouldn’t they?
I do feel that I’ve been kinda mean to Jim and his man parts. Maybe I should be a bit nicer in the next chapter? Maybe not haha
I had that Friend’s quote written down and ended up deleting it, so I’m glad it found a home in this review.
Thank you for the sriracha. I love some good hot sauce. And thank you for your review and all your bants. It’s so much fun.