Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Jim & Pam
"I didn't know if you'd like that, uh... you know..."

"No, yeah, I loved it. I mean, Roy used to, uh... probably - probably shouldn't mention that right now."

"Yeah, I'm not going to be able to go again now. I just... oh, yeah, there it is. Mental picture."

"Sorry..."

Dwight & Angela
"Oh, G... Oh... OH GOD! OH! STOP! STOP!"

"What!? Now? Why!?"

"I have to say a penance! I took the Lord's name in vain!"

Michael & Jan
"I feel uncomfortable."

"The saddle isn't supposed to be comfortable."

"But I just think... I mean, maybe we could cuddle?"

"Just shut up and put the ball gag in."

Ryan & Kelly
"Oh, no. Ew. Not tonight."

"What? Why not?"

"The condoms are the wrong color."

"That's ridiculous."

"None of them match my eyeshadow! That's totally vital!"

Stanley & His Wife
"Honey, I -"

"What's a five letter word for 'enchants'?"

Phyllis & Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration
"Wait, wait, hold that thought - I think there's trouble with the fridge."

Toby & His Wife
"I think we should get a divorce."