Pam stood in awe of the large church doors that represent the gateway for everything eternal. Heaven, salvation, redemption, and even love. She thought back to when she was supposed to step inside those doors and walk out a new person. Even though she hadn’t taken that life-altering walk, she did emerge from her past a changed person. Everything in her life had changed.

She stood at the back of the church surveying the guests. She carefully chose to sit in a seat secluded from most of her coworkers. She didn’t want to say anything to any of them. She wasn’t ready to open her mouth for fear that her real feelings would gush out. She didn’t want to be here. Her stomach was in knots and her palms were damp with sweat. She wasn’t ready to be in a church with the same people she had invited to her ceremony six months ago.

From Pam’s perspective, Phyllis was a lucky woman. She had found a man she truly loved, had planned a great wedding, and was standing at the back of the church waiting for her journey down the aisle to tie the knot. Pam was jealous that she hadn’t made it that far. Was it a good thing that she had called off her wedding? She often wondered if she had made the right decision all the time.

Pam spent nights thinking about what her life would be like now if she had married Roy. Would she be expecting their first child? Would they be happily married with a new home? Would they be bitter towards one another already? She decided that those questions had gone out the window when Jim entered the picture. He had changed everything for Pam. If he hadn’t decided to tell her his feelings, she would be fine with her life. She would be comfortable in her relationship with Roy and she wouldn’t be lonely. She would give anything not to be lonely. It was Jim’s fault that she was sitting in that church all alone, sitting in a pew and not standing at the altar with her fiancé. Then again, maybe it was her own fault that she wasn’t happy.

As the music began to play, the guests stood to welcome the bride into the church. When Pam stood and turned her gaze towards Phyllis, she saw him-standing across the aisle a few pews back. He looked great, even though she always thought he looked great in his suits at work. He respectfully watched Phyllis walk down the aisle until his eyes were pointed in Pam’s direction. Pam saw that he had noticed her and gave him a silent ‘hi’ from across the aisle.

Pam immediately turned, refocusing on Phyllis and knowing that she was the one who was torturing herself. When she had told Jim she was going to marry Roy, she was the one that allowed Jim to slip through her fingers. Jim had moved on knowing that Pam had made her decision. Now she was bitter. She was tired of waiting and playing games. Her insides told her to do one thing, and her heart told her another. Pam was a conflicted person now.

During the ceremony, she could feel his eyes on her. She wanted to think that, at least. She wanted to pretend that he still cared. Pam wasn’t sure what he felt, but knew that he wouldn’t ever tell her again unless she said something first. When the vows were being spoken between Bob and Phyllis, Pam closed her eyes to imagine they were her vows. Tears whelped in her eyes until they overflowed and fell free to land on her silky skirt. She finally returned from her dreamland to see Bob and Phyllis kiss. The crowd clapped and cheered for the newly weds. Pam felt two emotions fighting in her heart. She was genuinely happy for Phyllis but also upset that she could have been the bride, but wasn’t.

----

During the reception, Pam decided to not focus on herself anymore. She wanted to have a good time with her coworkers and let her mind forget about going home alone after the reception. It took several drinks to get her body moving and functioning. She decided a dance would be the best way to take the first step to letting loose. Pam glanced around the room to see who would be the person to join her. She saw Ryan sitting with Kelly, Michael lurking around the photographer, Dwight suspiciously jotting words on a notepad, Roy sitting at a table cracking jokes with Darryl, Toby getting cake for his daughter, Creed sneaking sips of Meredith’s drink, and Jim leaning against the bar smiling at Karen. Pam decided to just find someone and ask.

“Hey. Would you want to dance?” Pam asked feebly.

“Pam, I’m in the middle of something. Plus, my girlfriend might not like me dancing with another woman.” Dwight said still staring at his notes.

“Come on, Dwight. I have no one to dance with. Please?”

“Okay, just give me a second.”

Dwight stepped up to the challenge and met Pam on the dance floor. Pam was regretting every second of it, but she was desperate. Who else would dance with her? She knew now that Dwight wasn’t the best dancer in the world. He jumped and flapped his arms and bobbed his head with the beat. Pam laughed and then decided that she wasn’t going to subject herself to such embarrassment any longer.

“Dwight! Dwight!” Pam yelled to get his attention.

“What is it Pam? Do you want me to teach you my moves?”

“No. I think I’m going to go sit back down. Thanks for the dance though.”

Dwight just nodded and kept focusing on his moves. He turned and leapt to the base of the stage. Pam shook her head and casually started to step off the dance floor. Roy quickly jumped at the chance to speak with her.

“Hey Pam. Do you want to dance? I saw you out there with Schrute and that looked painful.”

“Yeah, he was the only one I could ask though. But, yes, I guess we could dance.”

“Great.”

They had gone dancing before when they were younger. Roy wasn’t bad at fast dancing. He rocked back and forth, not being too embarrassing. He would always watch what Pam did first before he made any sudden movements. Pam was actually happy to find a dancing partner that wasn’t going to hit her in the head when they were flailing their arms. Roy was doing a great job. They danced a safe distance apart and had a little chat while they danced.

“So, how are you doing?” Roy asked.

“I’m doing great. You?”

“I’m fine.”

“So, you came alone today?”

“Yeah. You too, huh?

“Yeah.”

The music switched to a slow song. Pam looked at her feet then at Roy, who was still standing in front of her. He nodded his head and held out his hand to offer. Pam swallowed hard and smiled. She wasn’t sure why she did it, but it felt better then going back to her seat depressed. Pam grabbed Roy’s hand and they began to sway to the music. Pam’s hand rested on his shoulder. Her thoughts went back to how it used to be, lying in bed with his warm body at night. Now nights were spent alone in her full sized bed in a cold, dark apartment. Pam actually enjoyed the dance with Roy. He was kind and respectful to her.

Pam then decided to go grab a drink and take a break from dancing. She excused herself to Roy and went to the bar to get some wine. Roy went back to sitting across from Darryl and took a swig out of his glass. He glanced up to Pam standing at the bar from across the room and gave her a look of gratification.

Pam sat down next to Kelly and Ryan. Kelly immediately started to interrogate Pam.

“So, are you guys back together?”

“What? Me and Roy? No! Not at all.”

“Why were you dancing with your ex then? Isn’t that against the rules?”

“He asked me. It was better than Dwight.”

“You could’ve asked Ryan. He would have danced with you, right Ryan?”

Ryan gave a look of ‘if I had to’ and looked back down at his phone. Kelly slowly turned her head to Pam to make more conversation.

“Why don’t you ask Jim? I’m sure he would want to dance with you.”

“No. I don’t think so. That might be weird.”

“Why? He is your best friend.”

“I don’t know. He is dating Karen and all.”

“You’re friends! What does it matter? Go ask him.”

“No Kelly. I don’t need to dance any more tonight. I think I might actually go soon.”

“Pam, don’t be a party pooper. Stay with us.”

“I will for a little while longer, but not too late. I have errands I need to run in the morning.” Pam lied. She didn’t have anything to do all weekend. She needed to sound busy so she could cut out early.

“Whatever, Pam. Live a little. You haven’t done that in a long time.”

“I know.” It was the truth. Pam hadn’t lived in a long time. She was waiting to wake up and start life over again. Right now, it seemed like that would never happen.

------

After visiting with Phyllis and Bob about how beautiful their wedding was, Pam decided it was time to collect her coat and go. As she was walking towards the coat closet, Roy stopped her.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah. I’m tired and have stuff to do in the morning.” Yet again, lying.

“Oh,” Roy said as he helped her pull her coat on.

“I will see you later I guess. Thanks for the dance.”

“No problem. See you soon.”

Pam slowly slipped out the front door having managed to not make any contact with Jim throughout the whole night. She was relieved and sad at the same time. She enjoyed Jim’s company more than anybody else and she hadn’t even managed to look him in the face, except for her silent ‘hi’ across the sanctuary.

She wrestled with her purse to pull out her keys as she walked towards her car. The parking lot was cold and dark, just like her apartment. Her heart sank slowly at the knowledge that she had to go home. Just as she stepped over the curb and towards her vehicle, she saw Jim walking back from his car. She opened her door and tried to get in before he could see her but she heard his voice from across the parking lot.

“Beesly!”

Pam sighed knowing she had been caught. She began to feel guilty for avoiding him all day long. He was supposed to be her best friend. He used to be her best friend and she had been ducking around corners for the past week to avoid any awkward conversations with him.

She remembered “..sleeping…better than not…” and shuddered at the thought of her idiotic manner of trying to muster up conversation. Then he jogged over to where she was leaning up against her door which was slowly shutting behind her. She played with her keys to distract her from making any weird chit-chat this time.

“What are you doing? Leaving the party already?”

“Yeah. It’s my bedtime.”

Jim glanced at his watch and looked back up at Pam, “Eight thirty?”

“I’ve got to get my beauty sleep. I don’t stay up late anymore.”

“Oh yeah,” he said, jokingly. ”You have a better day if you get eight hours compared to six.”

Pam’s stomach churned at the sound of that. He actually remembered that lame conversation in the break room. Pam gave a nervous chuckle and kept playing with her keys.

“You know me too well Mr. Halpert.”

“Yes I do.”

They both stood silent for a few moments. Pam looked up at him and then back at her hands.

“Well, I better get going. I just had to put my phone on my charger. It was beeping at me all through the service,” Jim said as he pointed over towards his car.

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it does.”

Another moment of completely awkward silence fell upon the parking lot. Pam’s breathing increased as Jim started to take a few steps back. Pam’s reaction was to step forward and blurt out her feelings, but something was pulling her backwards. Was it her insecurities? Her shyness? Her lack of experience in confessing her most intimate thoughts? Her mind snapped out of the trance when she almost tripped over her feet. Something really was holding her back. Her car door had shut on her skirt.

Jim laughed and asked, “Do you need help with that?”

“Uh, I think I can get it.”

Jim reached his hand over to open the door to release Pam from the its snare. Pam instantly noticed how close they were now. She could smell him, feel his warmth, see the stubble on his face. She stepped forward so her skirt would fall away from the car door as he opened it. He tugged on the end of her skirt as she moved. Pam turned as he shut the car door, this time making sure nothing got caught.

“You look great. I mean, your skirt looks fine. Nothing looks torn.”

Pam looked down, to examine her skirt. She hadn’t thought to check until he had said something.

“Thanks. I’ve never had that happen before.”

“Oh, I get my skirts stuck in stuff all the time. Elevator doors, toilet seats, and the occasional car door,” Jim said as he let out his contagious smile.

Pam laughed too. She hadn’t laughed like this in a long time. She was happy that he was there to rescue her from the skirt eater. Jim sighed then stepped away from Pam’s car.

“Okay, I really need to go now. Have a great sleep Pam!”

“All right. Thanks again for the help.”

Jim pulled his hand from his pocket and offered it to her. Pam looked at his hand floating between them. She hadn’t ever shaken his hand before. She felt insulted that they had resorted to shaking hands now. But she decided that it was better than not ever getting to hug him again so, she placed her hand in his.

“Goodnight,” they both said to each other as they shook hands.

Jim released his grasp of her hand with a smile and a nod as he turned to leave. Pam didn’t let go, she held on to his hand, not wanting to ever let it go. Jim’s smile turned into a face of confusion and wonder as his body moved back to facing her.

She stood there holding his hand as large tears collected in her eyelashes. She wasn’t looking into his eyes or even his face her gaze was locked on his hand. Jim nervously shifted, jarring Pam from her actions. She looked up to see Jim’s face revealing a look of awe and confusion. Her pulse quickened knowing that Jim’s hand hadn’t grasped back at hers.

“Pam? I don’t know what…”

“Jim, I need to apologize for the last few months. It’s my fault that things are like this between us.”

“No. Whatever happened is over. We’re both over it so, don’t feel bad….”

“Oh.” Pam looked down and the tears threatened to fall from her eyes again. Jim shifted again to shake the awkward vibe emitting from the situation.

“You’re not over it, are you?” Jim said in a hushed tone.

Pam released her grip on his hand and let it fall to his side where he slid it into his pocket.

“No.”

Jim closed his eyes and sighed, creating a fog in the cold air. Pam’s hands found her face covering up all the emotions that were pouring from her eyes. Jim hung his head and walked to where Pam was hunched over crying. He stopped next to her not touching her or saying anything. He just stood close to let her know that he was there.

Pam sensed him move close and waited for him to hold her. He didn’t even take her hand or put his arm around her to comfort her, he just stood there. Pam felt another surge of tears emerge from her soul. She felt the hurt and pain all over again. She hated this feeling.

Pam turned towards Jim and leaned into his chest burying her face in his coat. Jim let her put her arms around him and allowed her to stay like that for as long as she wanted. Jim didn’t put his hands up to her back until he felt her sobs subside. She breathed in deeply to regain some composure. Jim touched her back lightly to get her attention. She stepped back at his touch.

“Pam…I know this is hard. It’s hard for the both of us.”

Pam stared into his deep green eyes as they started to glisten. He retreated backwards, putting space between them. Maybe he was afraid of what he might do if he was too close or was it the fear of breaking down in front of Pam?

“It’s been really hard for me ever since….ever since you left.”

“I know. I could tell. Things have been different.”

“I don’t want them to be different, Jim. I want to tell you how I feel…”

He shook his head, “Stop. I think I know how you feel. Don’t say it.”

Pam let a tear stream down her cheek, “Why? I haven’t explained myself.”

“Not right now Pam. I just think we both need time to adjust and things will be back to normal soon.”

“I don’t want it to be back like it was in the old days, I want to fix this and get my feelings out in the open Jim.” Pam closed her eyes, “I love…”

Jim interrupted as he put his hands on her arms, “Don’t. I don’t want to hear that.”

Pam had a river of tears pouring out of her eyes, “Why not? Am I not good enough for you now that I’m attainable? What is it?”

“Pam, I can’t let you pour your heart out. I just can’t right now.”

“Oh and you think that three weeks before my wedding was the perfect time for you to drop a bomb on me?” Pam said as she pulled away from Jim’s touch.

“I know I was stupid, but I thought you were making a mistake. He doesn’t deserve you!” Jim said as he felt his voice increase in volume. He glanced around the parking lot to make sure no one had heard him yelling.

“Then who does? Who does deserve me Jim?”

Without hesitation Jim proceeded to raise his voice, “I do Pam! I do! There, I said it. Are you happy? I do.” Jim put his back to Pam as he ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed the anger off his face. Pam stood in astonishment that they were having this conversation. She had heard him say that he wanted to be with her again. He actually admitted it. He wanted her.

Pam took in a breath and laid her hand lightly on Jim’s back as he stood facing away from her. She didn’t know what to say but knew that she felt better knowing he still cared.

“Jim, I didn’t mean for you to have to re-hash this.”

“No. I needed to tell you.” He turned to face her again. “But, the only thing is that, I can’t do it right now. Karen deserves more than this from me. I’m sorry, Pam,” Jim said as he let his tears start to flow.

Pam stood in shock at his words. He loved her but he still wanted to go back to Karen.

“Okay.” Pam nodded and grabbed for her door handle. Jim moved out of the way to let her get into her car.

“Pam, I still have feelings for you. I always have, but you understand that I am in a relationship now. I can’t…This would be different if it were months ago. I’m sorry…I can‘t give her up”

Pam got into the car, giving him one last look before she shut the door,

“I gave up my marriage for you. Goodbye Jim."

She shut the door and started the car.

-----

Jim stood in the parking lot feeling like the wind had just been knocked out of him. She had given up everything she knew for him. He watched her car pull onto the highway and away from him. They had said everything that needed to be said. After several moments to catch his breath, he made his way to the doors. He turned to look back at where they had just fought, shook his head and walked back into Karen’s arms.

He now knew what it felt like to have someone pour their heart and soul into another person, only to have them walk away. He was feeling the pain and hurt that Pam once had felt for him.

Jim stepped into the reception hall and glanced around to find Karen. She was sitting on the edge of the stage with Kevin and the rest of his band members. Jim thought she looked so beautiful under the stage lights. He knew he had made the right decision to return to her.

Or maybe not.

Jim’s thoughts turned off of Karen and on to Pam. He wondered if she had made it home okay and whether she was crying. He hated to see her upset. He didn’t mean to hurt her, but he felt like his hands were tied. He couldn’t leave Karen. She had moved three hours to work in a lowly paper salesman job at his request. For this reason, Jim felt obligated to stay with Karen.

Most of the guests in the reception hall were starting to migrate towards the door and others stood lingering around their tables and their drinks. The dance floor was empty except for some scattered trash and the newly wedded couple swaying to the final song of the evening. Jim remembered the time when he and Pam had stood outside Dunder Mifflin swaying one late evening. His memory was interrupted by the scene that he had witnessed earlier in the night--Pam and Roy slow dancing. He felt his heart sink at the thought of Roy having the honor of lightly touching her back and her hand. Jim wiped the emotion off his face and walked towards Karen.

“Hey hun. Where have you been?” Karen said as she rubbed Jim’s arm lovingly.

Jim scratched the back of his neck. “I had to find my charger before I could plug it in. It was under the passenger seat.”

“I see. Well, you missed out on all the fun. They played Kiss by Prince. It was hilarious.”

Jim laughed and mockingly sang, “You don’t have to be beautiful, to turn me on….”

Karen chimed in and they both started laughing as the people around them glared in horror. “You sound just like Prince. You should definitely take up being a Prince Tribute Artist.”

Jim waved his hands in terror. “No way. I have already ventured down that lonesome road to stardom once and will not take it again.”

“Well, I will be right behind you every step of the way. Does that help?”

Jim couldn’t resist Karen’s cunning side. He pulled her in close, “A little bit.”

-----

The party had dwindled down to a handful of stragglers. Meredith was schmoozing with some waiter, Creed was passed out in his seat, Roy and Darryl sat with their beers clutched to their hands, and Michael was stuffing the leftover shrimp into his jacket pocket.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

As soon as the ring had sounded everyone that was still conscious checked their pockets and purses. Roy stood and dug in his pants pocket and raised his arm in the air to let everyone know that it was his phone. Jim tugged on Karen’s arm to lead her towards the door. He was tired and had some things on his mind. He needed to get away from everyone.

Just as Jim and Karen were walking past Roy and Darryl’s table, he overheard Roy’s conversation with the person on the phone.

“Hey, it’s okay. We were about to leave anyways…”

Jim, uninterested in the conversation, kept walking past with a nod to both Roy and Darryl. Roy smiled and waved to Jim while he snapped the phone shut. Then Jim heard something that stopped his heart momentarily.

“Who was that, man? Lisa?”

“No. Pam.”

“What did she want?”

“She said she needed…..”

Jim’s heart wasn’t the only thing that stopped--his feet had stopped at the mention of her name. Karen, linked arm in arm with Jim, stopped when he did.

“Jim? Are you okay?”

Jim snapped out of his trance and turned his head to look at Roy who was getting up from his seat, putting on his jacket and pulling his keys out of his pocket. Jim started feeling queasy and light headed. She had called Roy. What could she want to see Roy for? If she needed help wouldn’t she have called Kelly or Angela? Or at least him?

“Uh, I thought I heard someone say my name. You didn’t hear that?” Jim said to cover his confusion.

“No babe. How much did you drink tonight? You look a little pale.”

“Oh, I think I’m just tired. Let’s go.”

Jim proceeded to lead Karen out the door and to his car. He opened her door, jogged around to his door and sat down quickly. He didn’t know why he was rushing to get out of the parking lot but, he knew he wanted to leave all the memories of the past hour and a half behind him. Karen reached over, grabbed Jim’s hand and held it as he drove her to her house.

Karen was a really sweet girl. He would always love that she would want to hold hands while they sat on the couch or that even if she couldn’t hold his hand, she just wanted to sit close to him. He liked that she adored him. After their long late night talks, he was certain that she had real plans for them. He hadn’t even thought about the future with her, he was just trying to get by.

He stood at her door waiting for her goodnight kiss. She pulled slightly on his tie to initiate the kiss and he leaned in like usual. He gave her a quick kiss and a hug.

“I’ll talk to you later this weekend right? Saturday or Sunday?”

“I will call you when I’m done shopping tomorrow. Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem. See you tomorrow.”

“All right, love you.”

“You too.”

Jim’s head throbbed when he heard himself say it. He didn’t even realize he was saying he loved her all this time. How long had he been saying that? It had never registered before tonight. The hairs on his neck subsided from their prickling as he drove towards his house. He pulled up in the driveway and got out of his car. He remembered his cell phone in the console and went back for it. The phone had charged half way and he noticed that there were three messages ready to be answered. He checked the list and saw that Karen had called twice earlier in the evening, probably to find out where Jim had gone off to.

“Jim? If you get this I’m waiting by the stage with Kevin. See you soon.”

He deleted it and proceeded to the next one.

“Where are you? It’s been twenty minutes? I know your phone is dead so I don’t know why I’m calling, but Dwight was coming over to me and I needed to look busy. Hurry up!”

Jim chuckled and deleted it and moved on to the next one. The number wasn’t registered so he decided to check it later and remove his suit before getting too comfortable on the couch.

He pulled off his suit pants and replaced his collared shirt with an old school t-shirt. He walked down the stairs to find something to watch. He reached over to his phone to check his last message.

Jim pressed the phone close to his ear to listen. No one was speaking but he heard a sob and a muffled sound, then he heard the phone hang up. Jim furrowed his brow as he thought who could have called him. He thought about all the numbers he didn’t have on his phone yet. Thinking back to the message he knew that there was only person new home number he didn’t have. He dialed the number hoping to reach Pam. No answer. He ran up the stairs to his room and pulled on a pair of jeans and his sneakers. He grabbed his keys from his suit pants and ran out to his car.

-----

After calling Pam’s cell and home phone several times, he decided to try calling Kelly. She might have a clue what Pam needed and where she actually lived. He hadn’t been to her new place yet.

“Hello?”

“Kelly, this is Jim. Did Pam happen to call you?”

“No. Is she okay? When she left early tonight I was kind of worried.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong. She called my cell and I missed it. Do you know where she lives?”

“Yeah. She is living at the Sunny Cove Apartments near Riverside Drive. I don’t know her apartment number though.”

“That’s fine. Thanks Kel.” He was going to hang up to concentrate on driving but he heard her start to say something else.

“Hey Jim?”

“I’m here.”

“Don’t hurt her.”

“Too late. I gotta go Kelly. Bye.”

He hung up the phone and felt a lump develop in his throat. Kelly was giving him advice about Pam. How did she know that he was going over there to reconcile with her? Maybe she just assumed, he thought.

He found himself going over the speed limit. He didn’t feel like he needed to speed, but adrenaline was telling him to get to her as quickly as possible. He wasn’t sure why she had called. He just wanted to allow her to say whatever she called for. He didn’t care if all she wanted was a bag of chips, he would still have raced over to her apartment to meet her need.

---

He finally made it to the apartment complex and circled the parking lot three times before spotting her car. He parked in a visitor space and jumped out of the car with his phone in hand, dialing her one more time. Both her phones rang with no answer on the other end. He hung his head and decided that he need to figure out which apartment was hers.

He glanced at the three story building and decided that he should start at the top and make his way down. He climbed the metal stairs in haste. taking most of the stairs two or three at a time. He had long enough legs that he could do this gracefully without tripping. As he climbed to the top level, he heard a familiar voice. He didn’t move, but stayed where he was, hidden in the stairwell.

“You get some sleep. You look miserable.”

“I’m planning on it. It’s been a crazy day. You have no idea.”

“Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Night.”

Jim stood frozen at the voice and the conversation. He didn’t know where they were, but he feared moving would give away his position. Jim went into covert operation mode. He moved his foot slightly on the metal stair and his shoe squeaked. He immediately pulled his leg up to silence the noise. As he did, he saw Roy below on the second level headed down the stairs to his truck. Jim’s body froze. He didn’t want Roy to see him and plus, he was frozen due to pure shock.

He heard the door the shut and saw Roy pull out of the parking lot. Jim sighed, relieved, and decided to go back down one flight of stairs to where he heard Pam and Roy talking. One door had several potted plants and flowers surrounding it. He knew Pam would’ve put plants at her door. It just seemed like something she would do.

Here goes, Halpert, Jim thought to himself.

He pushed the doorbell and heard Pam moving towards the door. He heard a smooth movement next to the door then a rustle of latches and locks. She opened the door in a sweatshirt and pajama pants with her hair pulled into a loose ponytail. Jim had never seen her look so comfortable and beautiful at the same time. He smiled when she came face to face with him.

Her face was red and tear stained. He let his smile droop into a look of concern.

“What are you doing here?”

“You called me and I wanted to see what you needed. Are you okay?”

“Jim, I think you’ve done enough for one night,” Pam said as she slowly pushed the door closed.

Jim caught the door with his left hand.

“Wait.”

“What now?”

“I tried to return your call, but you didn’t answer.”

“Yeah, can you not take a hint? I made one stupid phone call after thinking about our conversation and I decided not to leave a message after all.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

“I don’t need anything from you…not anymore.” Pam’s face crumpled as she started to cry again.

“Pam! I came here tonight to see what you needed. What’s the problem?”

“I can’t talk to you right now. This is exactly why I didn’t return any of your calls.” She grabbed the bottom of her sweatshirt and wiped her eyes. Jim let go of her door and stood back to give her space.

“Pam, what do you want me to do?”

“Nothing. I just need a few days alone. Thank you for your concern but I just can’t face you. I’m sorry.”

Pam wiped her tears again and shut the door. Jim caught the door again with his foot. He was shocked at his action. He had never thought in his wildest dreams that he would be putting his foot in some girl’s door.

“Listen. This isn’t us. We don’t do this. What is wrong?” Jim said as he motioned between the two of them.

“Jim, you know what’s wrong? You going back to Karen.”

“You went back to Roy after I kissed you. And now he’s coming over? When did that start happening?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Are you seeing him again? Apparently you are, since you were being all buddy-buddy on the dance floor tonight.” Jim said as he ran his hand through his hair and turned his face away from Pam.

“It was just a dance and besides, he is the only guy I know that cares for me right now. Who else was I supposed to ask?”

“Me, Pam! I would have gladly danced with you and you know that. I thought we were fine until I saw you resort to dancing with him. I don’t understand you sometimes.”

“Same here. You pour out your heart and then you turn around and date someone else. That’s what I don’t get. You dropped me in an instant for her.”

“Do you realize how hard that was for me? I thought you were married Pam. I thought we were through, forever. I found out from Michael that you were single. How’s that for calling your best friend?”

Jim knew this conversation wasn’t going to lead anywhere. He stopped to calm down before saying things that could leave lasting scars. He didn’t want to hurt her anymore than he already had.

“I called you because….I wanted to tell you tonight that I’m leaving,” Pam said. “I’m taking the full graphic design internship in NYC. I wanted to tell you before we had our discussion but it didn’t end up that way. Roy came over to bring me some boxes. That‘s all.”

“When you say ‘full internship’ do you mean you are moving or going on weekends?”

“Moving… I told Michael on Friday that I would be leaving in a few weeks.”

“Congrats Pam. I’m happy for you.” Jim nodded in disbelief.

“You don’t look happy for me.”

“It’s just a little shocking. You telling me after you decided. You would normally tell me way before anyone else.”

“That’s the way I felt when you transferred to Stamford.”

“I don’t want to leave on a bad note like this,” Jim said as his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw that Karen was calling. He glanced up at Pam and she put her head down to hide her anger. He hit the silent button and looked up to see the door shut in his face.

Jim turned with tears in his eyes and jogged down the stairs to his car. He sat for a few minutes gaining his composure. She had slammed the door in his face twice, in one night. He knew that he did not want to let her leave without reconciling their friendship which was now in shambles. With one swift decision, Jim headed for his next destination. He had to fix this before it was too late.

Jim pulled out of the apartment complex as he turned his radio up. He didn’t want to think about this night. He was tired of thinking, he wanted to finally do something about it. He was tired of talking his way out of situations and feelings. He needed to fix this once and for all. He knew just the person he needed to clear the air with.

His car sped down the highway to her old house. He had been there to drop her off a few times. He knew the way and decided to go and see what happened.

Jim pulled up to the house and got out quickly. If he was going to do this, he had to act quickly. He couldn’t hold off any longer. His adrenaline was pumping and it was the right time to explain himself. He walked around the huge truck and on to the porch. The porch light wasn’t on so Jim cautioned himself as he made his way up to the door. He knocked, hoping that there would be an answer.

“Hey there Halpert. What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure man. Come on in. Do you want a beer?”

“Nah, I just need to explain some things to you.”

“Okay. What’s this all about?”

“It’s about Pam.”

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’ll be okay.”

“Okay. What is it then?”

Jim shifted in the seat that he was sitting in. He had been invited in the house and into the living room. Jim leaned forward to speak.

“Roy, I want to tell you how sorry I am.”

“Come on Halpert, tell me already. Why are you here?”

“I have loved her for a very long time. She broke off your wedding because of me.”

“What? Why would she do that?”

“I told her how I felt one night. Then, I kissed her… I just confused her. I’m sorry.”

Roy’s jaw tightened and he hung his head looking at the carpet. Jim didn’t want to have to explain this to Roy, but since Pam hadn’t, he decided it was the only way to wipe the slate clean. He needed to feel some of the guilt be lifted off his shoulders. He knew that whatever happened with Roy, it was going to determine what he was going to do with Pam. He hoped that Roy wouldn’t be upset with his confession.

“You kissed her? What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know. I just saw her, and did it.”

“Did she stop you? Did she tell you no?”

“Yeah, she told me she was marrying you. She wanted to stay with you, so I left.”

“Jim, that is the sorriest thing that I have ever heard. I can’t believe you would just kiss on some other guy’s girl.”

“I love her, Roy. I didn’t want her to marry you. I know that sounds bad…and I feel awful for everything,” Jim said as he started to realize what he was saying. He was digging his hole deeper and deeper.

“If you love Pam, what about Karen?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her about it yet. Yet again, I know that sounds really bad.”

Roy stood and motioned for Jim to stand too. Jim stood and waited for the hit. He wasn’t going to try and block it. He would take whatever blows that came his way. But instead of hitting him, Roy walked over to the door to lead Jim out. Jim followed and moved out the door to the porch. He had a feeling that he was about to have another door slammed in his face. Then Roy spoke.

“Ever since Pam has worked there, she hasn’t really been mine. She was only with me because I made her feel comfortable. She was always yours… but Pam is one of those people that denies her feelings. I had some clues when she broke off the wedding. She never came out and said it, but I knew you were involved.”

Jim felt sorry for Roy. Roy had the most amazing girl in his life and Jim had taken her away, just to leave her. Roy was lucky to have those ten years with Pam. Roy had had the chance to marry her, but he blew it. He was the one that didn’t care for her the way he should have.

“I’m sorry. I had to tell her and I messed everything up in one night. I went to Stamford and she broke off her wedding. I am really sorry Roy.”

“Hey, it was bound to happen. I didn’t give her what she needed. If she deserves to be with another guy, it’s with you Halpert. She loves you man.”

Jim stuck out his hand to shake Roy’s hand. Roy grabbed Jim’s hand and shook it. Roy smiled and gave Jim some more words of encouragement.

“Go get her man.”

“I’ve tried. She doesn’t want to talk to me right now.”

“Give her a few days. She’ll calm down and want to talk soon. That is one thing that I do know about Pam.”

“Thanks Roy.”

“No problem. Thanks for letting me know. Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

Jim went back to his car where he shook off all of the night’s tension. He rubbed his right shoulder before turning his car on. The clock on the dash read 11:34 p.m. Jim wasn’t sure if he should take Roy’s advice and wait to talk to her or go back to her place. He didn’t know how he was going to fix this, but knew he had to do something.

------

The next morning he woke up with Karen leaning over him. He jumped up and looked around his room. Karen had let herself into his house. Jim realized what was going on and lay back down with his hands behind his head.

“Good morning,” she said. “Wait, more like good afternoon. You look cute when you’re sleepy.”

Jim smiled and looked up at Karen as she sat on the edge of his bed. She looked great in her jeans and top. She always managed to look great no matter what the occasion.

“I tried to call you this morning but your phone was off,” she said. “Did you have a long night?”

Jim shuddered and licked his lips before he answered, “Oh, sorry. I have been really tired lately and I guess I let myself over sleep this morning. Are you already done with your shopping?”

“Yeah. I was just wondering if you wanted to go do something today. Do you have any plans?”

Jim hesitated. Should he tell her now or wait? He couldn’t decide what time would be best. He leaned up on his elbows to look her in the face.

“Uh, I don’t know. I kind of just want to hang out here today. Is that okay?”

“Sure. Do you want to rent some movies and order out?”

“Before we plan anything, I need….”

Karen stopped him by leaning in and kissing him. She put her hands on his face and pulled herself on top of him. Shocked, Jim didn’t know what to do. He was in the midst of telling her what had happened, and she wanted to make out. He leaned up all the way to move her off of him. She made a little noise in the back of her throat and continued to kiss Jim. He pulled away from her kiss and put his hands on her shoulders.

“Karen, you have no idea what I have been through in the last twelve hours. I need some time to wake up and get around.”

Karen moved away from Jim as he got out of bed and pulled on some pants. He looked into his mirror and saw just how horrible he looked. His face was pale and his hair was messy. Karen walked over to where he was standing and put her arms around his waist. She leaned in close to him from behind as Jim prepped himself in the mirror.

“Jim, are you okay? You seem upset about something.”

Jim wiped the sleep out of his eyes and kept his focus on the mirror and not how adorable she looked holding on to him.

“Yeah, that’s why we need to talk.”

Karen’s face fell and she leaned back to a standing position. He turned to face her as she folded her arms across her chest. Jim’s eyes filled with tears, like they had many times before when he thought about this moment.

“Jim, what’s wrong?” she said as her eyebrows furrowed at the sight of Jim.

“I can’t do this.” He walked towards his door and down the stairs.

Karen stood in his room waiting for him to return then she decided to follow him to the living room. She found him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Karen sat down next to him and put her arm over his shoulders.

“Jim, is this about us?”

Jim nodded. He lifted his head and looked at her.

“Pam…”

Karen’s eyes began a waterworks of tears. Jim’s hand found them and wiped them off her face. He hated when he made girls cry.

“I knew this was about her.”

“I’m sorry Karen. I feel very strongly about you but, it’s hard when I have someone else in my mind all the time. Do you understand?”

It was her turn to nod. She did so as she wiped her tears.

“I don’t want to make this anymore complicated than it is. If you think that she is going to make you happy, then so be it.”

With that sentence, Karen went to the door, opened it up and let it slam behind her. Jim stood to follow her out but stopped when he felt his world completely cave in. How many more hearts was he going to break?

With his hands in his pockets, Jim paced back and forth in the office. He had arrived nearly an hour and half early. He wanted to greet Pam and have a chat with her before the rest of the employees came in for the day. While he waited, he thought about what he was going to say to her. After ten minutes of mind numbing tension, he decided to clean around his desk. When he was finished with that, he sat in his chair and swiveled for five minutes. He was counting down the minutes until he heard the door open. He turned in his chair anxiously. Michael walked in the office with donuts in hand.

“Jimbo! What’s going on?”

“Uh, nothing Michael.”

“How was your weekend?”

“Well, it was pretty miserable…”

“Great!” Michael said without even paying attention.

Michael’s office phone began to ring as some other office workers made their way through the door. Pam was no where in the mix of the crowd. He had come to the office early just to see her privately, and now everyone was in the office. He had to rethink his game plan.

Karen came in later than usual and passed by Jim’s desk, dropping a plastic sack in front of him. He looked up at her walking away and then back down to the sack. She had brought him all of his stuff that she had. He quickly put the bag underneath his desk and started to get to work. Where was Pam?

Jan came in about eleven. She went into Michael’s office and shut the door. Jim leaned in his chair to see through the blinds. Jan sat down in the chair across from Michael’s desk and spoke to him. Jim was curious why she had come all the way to Scranton to talk to Michael. Soon, Michael came out of the door and asked Ryan to join them in the office. Ryan made a dissatisfied face and went into the office and sat next to Jan.

Jim’s phone rang and it distracted him from his spying. He went on to selling paper for a few more minutes to take his mind off the absence of Pam.

A few moments later, Jan, Michael, and Ryan entered the office area. They stood in front of his door as if they were going to make an announcement. Michael cleared his throat and the office dropped their work to listen. Jim’s stomach did a flip at the thought of them announcing that some changes were going to be made. He knew what this announcement entailed.

“Listen up everyone! Jan has come to make an announcement. So, give her your undivided attention or I will reprimand you during lunch.” Michael turned to Jan with a little bow. “You may speak, my fair lady.”

Jan gave Michael a look. “I have come to let you all know that you will be experiencing some changes in the next few weeks. Your receptionist Pam will be taking an internship at Corporate for the next four months. Ryan has gladly agreed to fill in on the reception work. As you can see, Pam isn’t here today. She has taken some of her vacation days to plan and pack. She will be leaving in a few short weeks and has requested to take that time off. She assured me that she would be coming in at the end of this week or the beginning of next week to finish up her month here.”

Kelly had made a sad face as she turned towards Jim. Karen caught her look and then went back to staring at her monitor. Jim felt the world colliding. He knew this was going to happen, but he didn’t want Pam to leave hating him. He wanted to fix all this--even if it meant they would just be friends.

Jan continued with her spiel after the rumble of voices subsided. “The other reason I am here is to let you all know that Corporate will be asking some of you to join their staff. We are doing some major changes within the company and we feel like some of our seasoned colleagues should get promotions. So, please be watching for e-mails, memos, phone calls, and faxes that you should be receiving in the next few weeks. That is all.”

Jim began to think of all the possibilities. Would he be selected to move up to corporate? He wanted to since Pam was going to be in NYC for the next four months. He didn’t know what would happen. Now, his plan had been totally changed.

----

Karen had ignored Jim for the past few days. He felt miserable that she had become so angry with him. She was being as kind as she could in the circumstances. He gave her a smile and a greeting when they would find themselves alone in the kitchen or the break room. He didn’t want to let their connection be a bad one.

He had no intentions of calling Pam. He wanted to speak with her in person. No more phone calls or e-mails. He wanted the real deal.

Jim heard someone some through the door. He turned to see that Roy had come up to the office.

“Hey Halpert,” Roy said as he leaned back against the reception counter facing Jim.

“Hi Roy. What are you up to?”

“I just came up to see what went down the other night,” said Roy in a hushed tone.

Jim matched Roy’s tone and replied, “Nothing.”

“What? You haven’t talked to her yet?”

“No. She hasn’t come in for the past few days. I want to talk with her in person and I don’t want to just swing by her house. That didn’t turn out too good the last time I did.”

“Oh. What happened,” Roy bobbed his head in Karen’s direction, “with her?”

Jim shook his head and made an awkward face. Roy got the hint.

“Well, good luck man.”

“Thanks Roy, for everything.”

“No problem. Also, there is certain someone that will be coming over to my place tonight to drop off a few things. If you know what I mean…”

Jim wasn’t sure if he should be angry or excited. Roy was letting Jim know that Pam had made plans to stop by and drop off stuff at Roy’s house. Was he inviting him to show up there or making him jealous?

“She will be there around seven. Just to let you know.”

“Great. Seven it is.”

Jim felt bad about planning things behind Pam’s back. He also didn’t want to get another door slammed in his face. He decided he would think about visiting Roy’s tonight so he could see Pam and tell her what was going on.

----

Seven o’clock rolled around and Jim was still sitting in his living room. He was having second thoughts about showing up at Roy’s. Would she be offended? Would she want to talk? Would she listen?

Jim’s heartbeat was in a flutter when he heard his phone ring. He answered.

“Where are you? She just showed up!”

“I’m not coming. I will do it another time.”

“She just needed to get rid of a few things she won’t need in NYC. She is probably going to be leaving soon. Come on!”

“No. Thanks for the tip but I think I will handle this later.”

“Are you chickening out?”

“Why are you trying to be so helpful? I mean, I basically stole her from you and you are trying to hook us up. What’s that all about?”

“She isn’t happy when she isn’t with you.”

“Really?”

“She’s a mess. You need to do something.”

“Not tonight.”

“Okay.”

Click.

Jim knew he should have gone. He had his shoes and coat on, and his keys in his hand to go over there to surprise her. He had chickened out, as Roy put it. He didn’t want to upset her anymore. Every time they spoke all they did was argue, yell, and cry. Why keep going on like that?

----

Pam had brought Roy the box of photo albums and their old toaster oven. She wouldn’t be needing those things when she was in New York. Corporate was going to provide housing for her, along with the other selected interns. She knew that she didn’t look very nice at all. She had an old pair of jeans and a big sweatshirt on. Her hair was a in a clip and her face looked gaunt. She had spent the last few nights sleepless.

“Thanks for letting me drop this by.”

Roy scratched his head then took the box out of Pam’s arms. “Oh, no problem.”

Pam shuffled awkwardly while she looked around the living room they used to share. Roy had moved things around and added new pieces to the furniture.

“It looks great in here.”

“Yeah, I did some shopping for a few things. Hey, can you hold on a sec?”

“Sure.”

Roy went into his bedroom with the box and picked up his phone to dial Jim. Pam heard him on the phone with someone but didn’t take any interest and kept looking at the art and photos on the wall. She remembered hanging some of the artwork and photos of his family when they first moved in. She slightly missed being in his house. She shook the thought out of her head and walked towards Roy’s door to tell him she was leaving.

“She’s a mess. You need to do something.”

Pam furrowed her brows as she listened into his conversation. She tried to make out the voice on the other end and could tell it was a males voice.

“Okay,” said Roy as he turned to see that Pam was standing in his doorway. His face flushed and fell at the sight at Pam.

“Is something wrong Roy?”

“Nothing. I had to make a call, that’s all.”

“Who is a mess?”

“Uh, Darryl’s girl. He dumped her.” Roy said as he lied through his teeth.

“Are you lying to me Roy?”

Roy looked to his left then to the floor. He was caught and he was bad at hiding it. Pam knew him too well to know he was fibbing.

“I called Jim.”

Pam crossed her arms over her chest with a look of shock. “Why?”

“He was going to come over tonight to see you.”

“You told him I would be here?”

“Yeah. He was going to meet up with you here so he could talk to you.”

“Why here?”

“He didn’t want to call you over the phone and he hated showing up at your house. I told him at work today you’d be stopping by.”

“You’re actually talking to him. When did that happen?”

“He stopped by the other night. He told me about you guys.”

“He did? What about us?”

“How he kissed you and that he felt like he ruined our wedding because of it. I told him that it was bound to happen.”

“Oh… I’m sorry Roy. I didn’t mean to hold that from you. I just didn’t think it was wise to tell you so soon after us splitting up.”

“I understand. Pam, he really cares for you."

Pam’s face started to crinkle into her ‘cry face.’ She took in a large gasp of air and started crying. Roy stared at her as she sobbed. He brought her a box of tissues as she sat down on the couch.

“I’m sorry for this. I just don’t know what to do Roy.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“Why are you being so nice to me after I ruined everything?”

“I still care for you Pam. I'll always care for you.”

Pam looked down and let a few more tears fall from her eyes. Roy sat next to her on the couch.

“I’m sorry Roy.”

“We don’t need to do this again. All I know is that there is a guy out there that is hurting just as bad as you are.”

“I know.”

----

Jim sat on his back porch. He always wanted to be outside in moments like this. He hadn’t seen Pam in almost a week and had no clue how to reconcile everything with her. The pit of his stomach told him to call her and his mind told him to stop and wait, then his heart told him something different. He was confused at which body part to listen to. He sat in one of his lawn chairs with a beer and gazed at the stars. He remembered sitting on the roof of Dunder Mifflin with her. They had such an amazing night just hanging out and watching Dwight and Kevin practically set themselves on fire. He remembered the giggle she had let out when Dwight  fell on top of the flaming firework. He wanted to savor that sound and the thought of her.

She is really leaving and I won’t have the chance to save our friendship. She hates me.

The pit of his stomach, mind, and heart argued again over which action he should take. Jim shifted to ease the uncomfortable feeling throughout his body. Then, his phone rang again.

“Hello?”

“Hi Jim.”

Jim sat bouncing his leg waiting for Jan and another supervisor to show up to their meeting. Jan had called him late the other night to offer him a job with corporate. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to take the job, but decided to go and see what they would offer him. He might just be able to get away from Scranton again. Jim was a ball of confusion.

Jan and a balding man stepped into the office. She smiled and Jim stood to greet her and the other partner.

“ Hi! Jim this is Kent Chapman, one of the people resigning in the next few weeks.”

----

Pam’s vacation days were gone and she had to go into work for two days before leaving. She showed up and did her usual early morning rituals: turning on the lights, her computer, starting the coffee and her tea, and waiting for Jim’s entrance. This time, Jim didn’t show up.

When Michael came in he brought Pam a card.

“This is from the office. We all wanted to wish you a happy vacation.”

“It’s not a vacation. It’s an internship. I will be working.”

“You can see it however you want to see it Pam.” Michael turned and went into his office.

Pam answered some of the voice mails on her phone. She wrote down the names and the numbers and the messages on a pad of paper. Then she came to one that made her stop writing and drop her pen.

“Hey Ryan…or Pam, or whoever is answering the phones today. This is Jim. I’m not coming into today. I have some stuff I need to do in New York. Just thought I would remind Michael. See you tomorrow.”

Pam wrote down Jim’s message and placed it in the stack with the others. Pam knew that corporate was going to be moving people to other jobs, but would he take it? She wondered what it would be like if he moved there with her and then she came back to Scranton after four months. Would they lose everything they had together?

Pam decided to distract herself from that thought and move on to other business. When she couldn’t find anything else to do, she grabbed the card that Michael had given her.

The card was pink and had a large daisy on the front. She opened it up to see that the coworkers had signed it.

Meredith wrote: “Have a great time in New York. We will miss you. PS- You better call me sometime so we can go to that bar that Johnny Depp owns.”

Michael wrote: “Pam, I will miss you while you are away. You have always been the hottest around the office. Now who will take your place? Certainly not Meredith.”

Karen wrote: “You are very lucky to get this opportunity! I wish you the best of luck in the big city.”

Creed wrote: “Jenny, I think you are cool. It was nice knowing you.”

Kelly wrote: “I am soooo going to miss you! You will totally have to call me and let me know how many boys try to ask you out. But seriously, don’t go out with them. Most of them will have STD’s.”

Most of the other office employees left their names with a “Good luck” after it. Pam’s eyes lingered at the bottom of the card to where she saw Jim’s handwriting. Her heart quickened as she leaned in close to read his small print.

“Pam, I am so proud of you for taking this opportunity. You will discover some amazing things while you’re away. Trust me, I know. Moving away from the office for a little while is life-altering but, I know you will make the best of it. Please don’t forget us while you’re gone. I will miss you.”

Pam’s eyes teared up at Jim’s words. She didn’t want to leave him here. She didn’t want to leave and come back and find him be totally different. They had already gone through that change when he left and came back. Now she was making that step and she knew that she didn’t want to return a totally different person in Jim’s eyes.

----

The next morning Pam slowly made her way from her bed. It was her last day at Scranton. She knew that Jim would be in the office today and it made her shake at the thought of leaving. Pam wondered if he felt that way when he left for Stamford. She didn’t know what to say to him. They had a pretty rough conversation the last time they spoke and she hoped that he wasn’t wounded. She couldn’t handle them being upset with each other on her last day.

Jim came in the door looking normal as usual. He looked good actually. He walked in the door with a genuine Halpert grin. She wasn’t sure that was a good sign or not. Pam was beginning to become a big ball of confusion too.

“Hey Pam. Last day huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you excited?”

“Sort of.”

“You’ll do great. I know it.”

“Uh, thanks.”

Pam felt like Jim had forgotten everything that had happened over the past week. She was hoping he wasn’t hiding his real feelings for her benefit. She didn’t want her last day to be spent worrying about what he was really feeling.

“Are you okay Pam?”

“Oh. I’m fine. I just can’t believe that I'm already going.”

“I can’t believe it either. You are a much better looking receptionist than Ryan.”

At lunch, the office gathered around Pam and brought her a cake. They all sat around and had a piece. Pam instantly noticed that Jim had slipped out and went to his desk. Pam stayed a little while longer to thank everyone for their generosity. When Creed began telling weird stories from his past, Pam grabbed another slice of cake and walked out of the break room.

Pam walked over to where he sat. He was playing with his tie as he leaned back in his seat. He looked up at her then back down at his tie. Pam kept walking towards him and sat the piece of cake on his desk.

“Here.”

“Thanks Beesly.”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. What are you doing? You’re party can’t go on without you.”

“Creed is telling them stories about his ex-lovers. I don’t think I’ll be missed a bit.”

“Yes you will.” Jim looked down again. To avoid more useless banter, he grabbed the cake and shoveled some into his mouth. Pam smiled as he delighted himself in her peace offering. She knew now was the time to talk to him about her departure.

“Are we going to talk about the other night? I don’t think I can leave without any closure.”

Jim shut his mouth over the plastic fork and pulled it out of his mouth slowly. His eyes seemed to glaze over and then he closed them.

“We will get our closure sometime soon. I’m just not sure when.”

“You don’t want to talk about anything?”

“I’m sorry Pam. No. I can’t bring myself to say anything right now…”

Pam adjusted her sitting position away from Jim’s desk.

“Okay. Will I be able to talk to you soon? Are we going to keep in contact? I don’t want it to be like last time.”

“Me either.”

With her heart in shambles, Pam turned to rejoin the party in the break room. She left Jim sitting at his desk. He played with his cake until he tossed it back on his desk. That’s when he realized that he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too.

Pam stood outside the New York City apartment complex. She stood in fear of the changes that this place would lead her to take. She had fears of stepping outside her comfort zone and experiencing life without someone by her side. She loaded her things on to the elevator and saw that Jan had come to visit her.

“Jan! Hi!”

“Hey Pam. How’s everything going?”

“Great. I think I almost got it all. I have one more big box then I’m done with moving.”

“You do know that there are other interns staying here as well, right?”

“Yeah. That’s what I was told. My roommates name is Andrea. I think.

“There are a few of them. My cousin is actually an intern this time. You guys will get along.”

“I can’t believe that I’m doing this. It’s crazy.”

“You’re going to love it.”

The door opened and Jan helped Pam get her things out of the elevator. The apartment was immaculate. She thought back to her apartment in Scranton and thanked the good Lord that she wasn’t living in that run down place still. She did, however, miss other things in Scranton.

“Hi! Pam, right?” A younger, pretty blonde came over to greet Pam.

“You’re correct. You are?” Pam said as she shook the girl’s hand.

“Andrea. Nice to meet you. I think we are rooming together. Our room was my first pick.”

“Cool.”

Jan went over to talk with some of the other interns. The apartment and the people that inhabited it made Pam think of school. She looked around the room and felt like she didn’t fit in with any of these people. Pam left Scranton behind to find herself, and Pam knew that the city, the other interns, and this opportunity would give her that chance.

Pam and Andrea got along well. They unpacked and chatted in their room. Andrea pulled out some picture frames and some trinkets. Pam thought about all the pictures she had brought from home. She didn’t bring many, but she had all she needed to get by for four months.

Pam pulled out a frame with her mother in it, then a picture that Michael had photo-shopped for the office. She had one little album from her childhood and college years. She had tucked in many pictures from the last few years just so she could remember what all her coworkers faces looked like.

Andrea peeked over to see Pam staring at the photos. “Hey. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you already missing home?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then, let’s go make new friends.” Andrea said as she pulled Pam out the bedroom door and into the living room.

----

“Hey everyone! Do you all mind if we go around the room and share about ourselves?” Andrea said as she waved her arms in the air.

Everyone seemed to agree and came over to the couches to form a circle.

Andrea initiated the conversation. “Hi. My name is Andrea Blevins. I am from New Jersey and will be interning with the CFO.”

“Oh, trying to get in good with the big wigs huh?”

“I’ll have you know that I am interested in business and learning more about it. So, what are you here for?”

“My name is Benjamin Levinson, you can call me Ben, I’m one of Jan’s cousins. I’m from Pennsylvania and I’ll be working in graphic design. I hear that there is another graphic design intern here. Who’s that?” He said as he looked around the room.

Pam felt herself get nervous. She didn’t know why but she felt nervous about her introduction. Benjamin was attractive and charming. He had a nice clean cut look and dark hair. She blushed when he asked where she was.

“Me.” She raised her hand shyly over her head and put it back down to finish her intro. “My name is Pam Beesly. I’m from Pennsylvania as well. I work at the Dunder Mifflin branch in Scranton as the receptionist.”

Pam found out about all of her roommates. Jake was a divorcee with a business degree. He was handsome even though he hid under a thick pair of dark framed glasses. Natalie was energetic and fun. She was selected to intern for the management team. Amy was about Pam’s age and had a family in Connecticut. Terry was kind of the nerd in the bunch. He was interning under the supervisor and reminded Pam of Ryan. He was young and extremely dark headed and smug. Lance was the genius in the group. He was also interning under the CFO, had many awards and a masters. Pam was in awe that she was actually chosen to be apart of this great group of people.

----

Pam’s first day in the design department was interesting. The person that she was interning under was eccentric and fun. His name was Martin Craig. He had salt and pepper hair and a beard that matched. Pam was excited that he knew loads about art, design, graphics, and most importantly, he knew a lot about artists. Pam was in heaven.

On their first day, Martin had Benjamin and her do a sketch for him. It didn’t matter what it was, except that it need to advertise for Dunder Mifflin. Pam watched Ben’s hand quickly start sketching. Pam’s eyes widened as she saw how amazingly talented he was. She looked on until she realized that she hadn’t made any marks on her page.

After their long day of art talk and lessons, Pam and Ben took a cab back to the flat. Ben was genuinely nice and had a smile that could kill. Plus, he was extremely talented. Pam felt herself thinking about Jim back in Scranton. She wondered what he was doing and what had happened since she last saw him in the office.

She had left the office in a hurry. He had given her a quick hug and a goodbye. She remembered that she was upset at the way it all had ended. He had just walked out of the office with his head hung low, keeping a close eye on his feet. Pam had felt like running after him, but hadn’t been able to manage it.

---

After their first month of interning, everyone had gotten to know each other well. Pam and Andrea went out on weekends along with Jake and sometimes Terry. They all melded together quite well. Natalie was already making eyes for Lance and it seemed like he was interested too. Pam and Andrea liked to gossip about it after they went into their room for bedtime. Pam felt like a college kid again. She didn’t tell anyone, but she secretly missed Scranton and the people that lived there. She missed them all, even Dwight.

Kelly called Pam frequently to give her updates (mainly about how she and Ryan were doing). Then in one conversation, Kelly told her about other things that were happening. Phyllis had returned from her honeymoon with a cast on her arm. Kelly said it was a long story and she couldn’t remember it all. She also said that Stanley got an offer from corporate and he had to declined the job. She also said that Jim and Karen had broken up and had slowly begun talking to one another again. Pam felt her heart skip a beat then slowly return to a normal pace.

“They did?”

“Yeah. Like right before you left. He didn’t tell you?”

“We didn’t really talk that much. In fact, we haven’t since the day I left.”

“Really? Well, he’s single now.”

“Well, good for Jim.”

“You should call him Pam. Or better yet, I’ll tell him to call you.”

“No. That’s okay Kelly.”

“He hasn’t been the same.”

“Me either.”

Then Pam heard his words echo in her head.

Jim had told her he didn’t want to leave it like they had last time and yet, it seemed like it was worse than last time. Pam knew that they would drift apart even further than the last time. But, she still had a glimmer of hope since now she knew that he and Karen had broken up. Pam decided that she needed to end her conversation with Kelly and get back to her sketch project she had to work on with Ben.

“Kelly, I gotta go. I have to go work on some stuff.”

“What are you doing?”

“I have to design a logo with Ben, the other art intern. It’s a really cool project.”

“Sweet! Oh, and is this guy really cool too?”

“Kelly, I gotta go. Tell everyone hi for me!”

“Will do.”

----

Pam’s conversation with Kelly had stirred up her feelings about Jim and their relationship. She didn’t know whether to call him and clear the air, wait for him, or move on. Sitting at the kitchen table, she and Ben sketched out what they thought Dunder Mifflin’s new logo should be. Jokingly, Pam drew a forest that had been cut down with Dunder Mifflin stamped on one of the stumps. She showed it to Ben and he laughed.

“I think they will love that!”

“I know.”

Ben gave her a glimpse of his amazing smile and she found herself thinking about Jim again. She lost her focus when Jim’s face popped up in her mind.

“Are you okay Pam?”

Pam snapped out of her daze. “Oh yeah. Sorry, just thinking about old friends.”

“Are you sure that they were just a friend?” Ben said with a laugh.

“Sort of.”

“Oh Pam. You are holding out on me.”

“I had a crush on him a long time ago. I thought he did too, but I think that’s all over with now. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“What’s his name?”

“Jim Halpert. You remind me a lot of him. You are tall, funny, and have a great smile. Except you have short, dark hair and you can draw.”

“He sounds like a great guy then.” Ben said as he let out another amazing smile and a laugh.

“Let’s get back to our project.”

Pam didn’t know if she was falling for another guy or not. Ben did remind her of Jim, a lot. She hated that her feelings were mixed about the situation. She wanted Jim and Jim alone but Benjamin was a great second if she couldn’t have her first pick.

“I like the way you two work together and I think you’d make a great addition to the staff here. What do you say?” Martin said as he leaned in close to them.

“Can we have some time to decide?” asked Ben.

“You have until the internship is up.” With that, Martin went back to checking up on the other employees.

Pam and Ben looked at one another in shock. Pam didn’t know whether to let go of her life in Scranton and stay in NYC or not. She had some great friends now and if Ben stayed, she would consider it.

Ben leaned over and hugged Pam. Pam hugged him back in pure joy.

“So, are you going to take the position?” Pam asked Ben.

“I don’t know yet. I kind of have a girlfriend that is waiting for me back home. What about you?”

“I don’t know either. I think it’s way better than a receptionist job. The pay would be better too.”

“We have until our internship is up to decide. Do you think you can make up your mind by then?”

“Definitely.”

Pam was excited about her new offer. She had never thought about actually having a profession with design and art. Her dream was coming true and Jim was the one who had pushed her a long time ago to do it. She owed it all to him and yet, she hadn’t spoken to him since he walked out the door. Kelly had given her updates over the past few months, but hadn’t said anything specific.

----

Jim stood in the tailor’s shop waiting for the older gentlemen to finish adjusting the hem of his new pants. He felt the man tug and then pin, then stitch. In the mirror, Jim saw a new man before him. He was more mature looking, and had a great haircut that made him look younger in a way. He also noticed that the same man in the mirror wasn’t happy at all. Soon it will all change, Jim thought.

“Do you have any more of these in another color?”

-----

Pam was sitting on her bed looking through her art book when, she heard a tap at the door.

“Are you naked?”

“No. I’m fully clothed. Come on in,” Pam said with a giggle.

Ben stuck his head in the door with a quick glance around the room and a smile.

“Hey. Do you want to go out tonight and celebrate? I mean, just a little celebratory pizza. Nothing much.”

“Sure. Let me get my coat.”

----

They found Ben’s favorite pizzeria in all of New York City. They took a cab and the F train to get there. Finally, on the other side of the island, next to the Manhattan Bridge, they found their way up Rutgers Street. The small shop was lit by a large sign that flashed, “Frank and Tom’s.”

Pam looked at the little pizzeria and furrowed her brow. “You’ve been here before?”

“Yeah. When I came up here in the summer to visit family, we scoured the city for the best pizza. This is my favorite place.”

They stepped inside and got their slice of pizza. As she sat across from Ben, Pam noticed how much she had changed. She was wearing new clothes, all hip and relaxed, her hair was shorter and with loose curls. She now attempted to put on make up and she was sitting across from a guy that she thoroughly enjoyed talking to. She missed Scranton and the people, but loved being someone else for a change.

“Good huh?”

“Yes. This is delicious.”

“Told you so.”

“I never denied that it was good.”

Ben stopped eating to wipe his face. He put his pizza down and looked intently at Pam.

“Why are you the way you are?”

Pam wasn’t sure if that was an insult or not. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, why are you so amazing?”

“Ben, I’m not that great. I’m just a normal girl that has had her share of heartache.”

“Like what?”

Pam decided that she could trust Ben and told him about Roy and Jim. She told him about her pouring out her feelings and him denying her after she gave up her marriage.

“So, are you going to go back and see him?”

“I don’t know. I’d eventually like to see him again.”

“You should. Your eyes light up when you talk about him.”

Pam gave a half smile and stared back down at her greasy pizza. All she could muster up to say was, “Yeah.”

----

The next day in the graphic design department, Pam sat at her computer making the computerized sketches that Martin had requested. Ben sat across from her doing the same thing. Pam felt a little tired from the night before and got up to grab some coffee.

“You want something while I’m up?”

“A coffee would be great. Thanks.”

In the break room, Pam overheard two employee’s giving the latest gossip. Pam poured two cups of coffee and tried to avoid listening in on their conversation.

“Did you meet the supervisor? The one that is taking over Jan’s job?”

“His name is Jake I think….”

Jan quit? Pam didn’t know why she felt sad at the thought of Jan quitting, but felt like Jan had got her this far and didn’t want her to leave. Pam turned around with her coffee and walked back over to Ben. Putting down Ben’s coffee, she asked him about Jan quitting.

“Did Jan quit?”

Ben looked up at Pam as he sipped his coffee. “No, she got promoted. There’s been a lot of that going on lately.”

“Oh, good. I was about to freak.”

“Yeah, she was pretty excited about it.”

With that, Pam went back to staring at her screen and clicking the graphics to form patterns.

----

Pam spent most of her time focusing on her projects, her job offer, and the people that she had left behind. She wanted to visit them soon but didn’t know if she should. Would they be excited for her? Would they even remember who she was?

Pam decided that she would save her return trip until she finished her internship. It would be easier that way, she thought.

----

Martin came over to Pam’s desk often. He would always glance at her screen or at her easel to see what she was creating. She liked it when he did--it gave her affirmation that he enjoyed her work. In one of Martin’s visits, he told the art department that the company wanted to have a meeting with all the departments.

“They want us to all meet the new corporate people. I don’t know why, but I was told by Jan that we had to attend. So, make sure your stuff is done by four. Get crackin’!”

Pam looked up at Ben, who rolled his eyes. “I hate company meetings. This is why I’m not a salesman.”

“Same here. I could sit behind a desk all day and not meet anyone new. I’d be fine with that.”

“Maybe we could skip.” Ben said as a slow smile crept upon his face.

“Ben, your cousin says it’s mandatory and you want to disobey?” Pam thought and bit her lip. “I’m game.”

Ben laughed and went back to his sketch pad. “See you at four Pam.”

----

When the rest of the group from the art office had left, Ben and Pam followed behind them until they came upon a corridor that lead away from the conference room. Ben stopped in the hall and motioned for her to be quiet.

“Are you ready to see the mother ship?”

“Ten-four good buddy.” Pam said with a grin.

They walked towards the doors that lead to the main offices. This is where the associates and supervisors, the official corporate people, had their offices. They had a few salesmen cubicles in the center of the room and Pam thought the place looked like a fancy Scranton office.

Pam walked over to the cubicles and looked at the pictures, memos, trinkets, and other junk that was tacked up on the walls. Some people kept their desks clean and other had mountains of paperwork, folders, awards, and mementos sitting on their desks.

Ben found a picture of a guy and his wife hanging in a cubicle. Ben pulled it down and showed Pam. The couple looked happily married.

“I’m going to say that she’ll dump him in two years. She’s way out of his league.”

Pam slapped Ben’s shoulder. “Don’t say that.”

Ben put the picture away and followed Pam over to where she was looking through a window. She peeked into the window like a kid in a candy store. Pam noticed that this is where the supervisors worked. They all had their separate offices, their own secretary and a couch. She leaned close to the windows to see inside the office, not even looking at the name on the door. Ben imitated her.

“Curious Pam?”

“I have always wondered what corporate offices looked like. I’m kind of jealous.”

“Yeah, I used to come up here and enjoy the perks with Jan. Coffee, lunches, snacks, and the occasional free stuff. You know, paper, pencils, oil changes, and all that junk.”

Pam pulled away from the glass and glanced around the room again. She walked over to the large window and took a peek outside. She had never seen the view from the building yet. Her department was stuck in a dark corner of the building. She saw the cars and the people scurrying by and the city changing every second right in front of her eyes. When she felt dizzy from staring at the cars, she turned to Ben.

“This is a crazy city. It’s completely changed my life.”

“Mine too.” Ben nodded, then turned towards Pam and placed his hand on her arm.

Pulling away from his touch Pam spoke, “We should get back. They probably noticed that we were missing.”

Ben replied, “Okay.”

As they walked towards the doors Pam wondered, “I don’t get what they even do up here. It’s not like the supervisors are actually supervising. I mean, what do they do anyways?”

“We sit at our desks all day long and play solitaire.”

When Pam turned around her eyes fell upon a tall, handsome, manicured, lanky man leaning against the reception counter with his hands in his pockets.

“Hi Pam.” He said with a million dollar grin.

Pam’s jaw fell to the floor and she let out a little squeal as she ran towards him and threw her arms around his neck.

“James Halpert!” Pam said in a high pitched voice.

“Pamela Beesly!” Jim said, mocking her high pitched squeal.

Pam squeezed tight on to his neck and then finally let go when she felt his hands gently touch her lower back. Pam was flushed and could feel Ben watching on in confusion.

Jim was smiling from ear to ear and it made Pam weak in the knees to see him looking so good. He had started doing his hair differently, and although she liked his old style, he looked more professional like this. Her heart was beating at an alarming rate and she took some deep breaths to calm herself. Pam saw that Ben was being less vocal than normal and she decided she needed to introduce them.

“Oh, sorry Ben. This is Jim Halpert. And Jim, this is Ben Levinson. He’s Jan’s cousin.”

Ben stuck out his hand and nodded at Jim. “Nice to meet you. I‘ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. She keeps trying to involve me in office pranks. She says she got it from you.”

Pam stood swaying back and forth and smiling like a little girl. She was thrilled that Jim was working in corporate. He had moved and changed everything about himself. He seemed like a new Jim all over again.

“I learned from the best,” Pam said with a wink to Jim.

“She was one of my best students. The only student actually.”

They all gave a little laugh and then Jim was distracted by his secretary handing him a slip of paper. He pulled his hands from his pockets and read the memo then looked back up at Pam and Ben.

“Hey, I’ve got to get back to my solitaire. I’ll catch up with you soon. Nice meeting you Mr. Levinson.”

Pam’s giddy demeanor suddenly was crushed when he walked towards the secretary, gave her a smile, then into his office.

“See ya Jim,” Pam said as her heart fractured into little bits.

-----

She and Ben walked back to their dark corner of the building as Pam’s energy rush suddenly hit rock bottom. Ben noticed that she was starting to slow her walking pace. He stopped to see if she was okay.

“Pam, are you sick? You look a little flushed.”

Pam shook her head right before her vision faded into white and she hit the floor.

“Are you okay? I heard about what happened at work today.”

Pam walked in to her room and threw her purse and jacket on her bed. She slowly lowered herself on her bed and crawled under the covers. Andrea stood patiently waiting for Pam to answer.

“I’m fine. I just got light headed.”

“Why did you pass out?”

“I don’t know.”

Andrea sat on the edge of Pam’s bed and looked at her in confusion. “Have you been sick? Oh my…are you pregnant?” Andrea slapped her hand over her mouth.

Pam giggled and responded, “No! That’s not even a possibility.”

“You never know. You and Ben are close.”

“Whatever. We’re friends.”

“Sure you are.” Andrea said as she taunted Pam. Pam stayed silent until she decided to tell Andrea about what had happened.

“I saw Jim today.”

“That guy from Scranton?”

“Yeah. He is a supervisor now. He replaced Jan.”

“Are you serious? Your Jim is James Halpert?”

“Yeah, how did you know that?”

“All the ladies in my department say he’s cute.”

Pam laughed and then felt herself get uncomfortable. She didn’t want to hear what the other ladies in the office were saying about him.

“This one lady says she wants to ask him out.”

“Stop. You’ve got to be kidding me? Already?”

“He’s been here for like two weeks. Isn’t that long enough?”

“I know Jim and he needs more time.”

“Well, a lot of the girls are crazy over him. You’re lucky.”

“No I’m not. We haven’t talked in a long time. Everything is different now. He seems different.”

“How so?”

“He looks it. The way he looks and the way he talks. I can’t explain it.”

“Wait, is that why you passed out?”

“Kind of. I don’t really know why. I just was… overwhelmed. Again, it’s really hard to explain.”

Pam and Andrea’s conversation was interrupted by a knock on their door. Ben opened it a crack.

“Hey, sorry to intrude. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Thanks Ben.”

“Okay. No problem.”

He gave a half smile and pulled the door shut as he left. Pam sighed and knew that Ben was upset with her. It was probably because she was gushing over Jim today. Right before seeing Jim, Ben had opened up to her and she dismissed it. She was taken back when Jim showed up in her life and Ben was there to see her weak. Literally.

----

The next day, Ben sat in silence as they worked. Pam noticed that he was avoiding eye contact with her and didn’t try to look up the whole morning.

“Ben, do you want some more coffee? I’m gonna get some.”

“No. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? I know how you like it.”

“It’s fine. I can get my own.”

Pam noticed that Ben was getting angry and his kept his eyes on his screen. Pam couldn’t take him being upset with her.

“What’s wrong Ben?”

“Nothing.”

He stayed in his position not even acknowledging that Pam still stood next to him. She finally decided to go into the break room for another dose of coffee. She needed it desperately. She hoped that she would see Jim leaning against the vending machine but her hopes were crushed when she realized that he worked in the main headquarters. They had a completely separate break room. She grabbed her coffee and went back to work.

When Pam got back to her desk and looked at Ben, he was still working away on his computer. He had a dissatisfied look on his face. Pam was going to ask him again what was wrong but her phone rang.

“Pamela Beesly’s desk.”

“Pamela. Could I have a word with you in my office.”

“Who is this?”

“Your superior, James Halpert,” Jim said mocking in a deeper voice.

Pam laughed. “You sound like Dwight.”

“Mr. Schrute is a valued employee at Dunder Mifflin. I believe he is stationed at the Scranton Branch.”

“Okay Jim, stop!”

Jim laughed over the phone and Pam knew he was smiling. She could tell by his laugh when he was smiling.

“Can you stop by sometime today? We should catch up.”

“It’s been way too long Jim. We definitely need to catch up. I’ll stop by later today. I’m swamped.”

“So, your art internship is keeping you busy huh?”

“Yes. It’s great. I’ve met some amazing people,” Pam said as she noticed that Ben was staring in her direction for the first time that day.

“Awesome. Well, I’ll let you get back to your duties. See you soon.”

“Yeah, soon.”

----

Jim hung up his phone and tapped his desk with a pen. He looked out of the window to see his secretary Stacy take another message down on a note pad. He was really happy to be in his position. He got a raise, a better job, and Pam was there too, momentarily.

The rest of the morning he spent his time doing his work and focusing on each branch’s performance. He had a meeting in twenty minutes and left word with Stacy that Pam might drop by.

-----

After lunch, Pam walked through the office headquarters doors and over to where his secretary sat. Pam was a little bit jealous of Stacy. She got to work with a great guy. Then again, so did Pam.

Stacy looked up at Pam.

“Is Jim available?”

“He’s in a meeting. You can wait though. He should be out soon.”

Stacy escorted Pam to the couch in Jim’s office. She sat there looking around the office at his walls and desk. He didn’t have anything personal up yet. Usually he would have a picture of his family and other mementos strategically placed around the office by now.

Stacy came in again to put a folder on Jim’s desk. She stopped to talk to Pam.

“How do you know Jim?”

“He’s an old friend. We worked together in Scranton.”

“Oh. He’s a great boss.”

“I’m sure he is.”

“He’s great.”

“Yeah, you said that.”

Pam felt herself getting defensive over Jim. She didn’t want any more women falling in love with him. He had a way about him that made girl’s swoon and Pam knew that he would give in if they pushed him.

“Tell me Pam, is he single?”

Pam was flustered. “I think he is now.”

“Oh.” Stacy said as she smiled and turned to leave the office.

Pam waited in the silence for him to show up. Finally, she heard the door open and he walked in with a bunch of paperwork in hand. He set them on his desk, undid the button on his coat, and grabbed Pam up in a hug. He held her tighter than usual and then released her. He was smiling and it made her feel like fainting again. They hadn’t said a word until he broke the silence.

“Pam, it’s so good to see you.” He grinned and leaned on his desk as she stood across from him.

“You’re telling me!” She returned the gesture and smiled.

“So, what’s new?”

“Everything. It’s been an adventure.”

“Yes it has.” Jim looked over to check his computer screen for any messages and then refocused his attention to Pam.

“Look at you!” she said. “You’re corporate now! And you look great.” Jim sheepishly looked down at his feet then back up at Pam with another smile. He was all smiles today.

“Thanks. You’re looking mighty fine too, Beesly.”

“Yeah. New York shopping can change a woman.” They laughed.

“Have a seat, you don’t have to stand.” Pam turned and went back to the couch she was sitting on before. She sat down and Jim came over to sit next to her.

“Hey, do you know that all the women in this office are hot for you?”

“It’s weird. That’s never happened before.”

“Don’t be so sure. I think Meredith had a thing for you. Oh and Kelly probably. And Creed.”

Jim laughed. Pam looked out his window to see Stacy glaring at them and then turn quickly back towards her computer at the sight of Pam. Pam laughed and looked at Jim.

“I think your secretary has at thing for you too.”

“Nah. Really?” Jim turned to look at Stacy and then leaned his head on his hand, which was propped up on the back of his couch.

“She asked me if you were single. I told her you were.”

“She’s not good enough anyways and how did you know I was single?”

Pam smiled and broke her eye contact with Jim to find something else to talk about. She wanted to hit herself for bringing it up. The phone rang and Pam let out a sigh of relief. Jim jumped up to answer it. She watched as he walked behind his desk. He even had new suits and shoes. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from the new Jim. Despite how much she wanted to lash out about how hurt she was, she wanted to grab him and kiss him. She decided that it wasn’t the best route to take since they haven’t seen each other in a few months.

Jim put the receiver down and walked back over to the couch.

“So, how has your life been?”

“I’ve been great Jim. What about you?”

“As you can tell, I was offered a new job. I left Scranton and I’m happy that I’ve left that behind. It’s awesome here. But, you don’t need me to tell you that.”

“It’s great here. I love it. I think I’m actually going to stay.”

“Really?” Jim’s face gave a look of excitement.

“Yeah. I was offered a position. Me and the other intern Ben.”

“Wow. Sounds like a great opportunity.”

“Yeah. Ben’s a nice guy.” Pam why did you say that, Pam mentally chastised herself.

“He seems nice. You two hit it off?”

“Yup. I think he might stay too.”

“Oh.” Jim glanced at the floor then got up to lean out his door and told Stacy to hold his calls. He turned back around and went back to his first position of leaning against his desk.

“Listen, can we talk over dinner tonight?”

“Jim, I don’t know. I mean, I guess we could do that.”

“It doesn’t have to be a date. Just maybe a good time out with your old pal, Jim Halpert.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Whatever you want. I haven’t been around the city yet. Do you want to take a tour and then get a bite?”

“What time?”

“Seven.”

“Let’s meet up at Central Park. It’s gorgeous at night.”

“Deal.”

Jim sat on a ledge of a foot bridge in Central Park. Pam was right, it was beautiful at night. There were carnival lights in the distance and the buildings towered over the vast expanse in the sky. A few couples lingered around the pond and musicians played softly down the path. He waited with his hands in his pockets.

He had combed out his hair and let it relax into his old style, wore some jeans, a jacket, and his Converse. He had purchased a new wardrobe before coming to New York. He thought, new job, new apartment, new life, new clothes, new Jim. He splurged on himself for once since his pay was increased way more than he really needed (although, he didn’t want to admit it).

Pam walked up in her jeans, a pink sweater, and a black jacket. Jim thought she looked like a totally different person and he knew that she was thinking the same thing about him.

“Hey! You look so great!” Jim said as he gave Pam a hug.

“You too! I swear you are someone different. What have you done with my friend Jim?”

“I’m in here. Just hiding.”

Pam laughed but knew the truth behind his statement. She was the same way. She looked and acted like a totally different person, but on the inside she was still scared Pam Beesly from Scranton.

“You ready for the tour?”

Jim nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Lead the way.”

----

They walked through the city catching glimpses of iconic landmarks. They visited The Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall, Times Square, and finally made their way to the Staten Island Ferry.

“Do you want to take a ride?” Pam asked Jim.

“Most definitely. But can we stop and get a hot dog or something? I’m starving.”

“Totally.”

They waited for the next ferry to load and rushed over to the side of the boat that faced the Statue of Liberty. They sat on the slow moving boat looking out over the water and the iconic statue.

“She doesn’t look as big as I thought she would up close.” Jim said, disappointment written on his face.

“Well, it was the French that built it. What can you expect?”

“And plus, it’s really old too.”

“Oh yeah, that too.”

They sat and laughed and finished their meal. Pam sucked down her drink and sat it beside her. They found themselves in a moment of silence when neither one knew what to say.

“So, was that our dinner?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Unless you want dessert. I hear that there is this great place called Vineiro’s. My mom told me to check it out. It’s a pastry shop.”

“Great.”

After their boat ride to and from Staten Island, they took a cab across town to eat some New York cheesecake. They sat in the quaint shop eating the delectable bites. When Jim caught Pam’s eye every now and then, he would give her a smile and go back to indulging in his cake.

“Man, this reminds me of your last day.”

“Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing,” Pam said as she forked her cake.

“Speaking of that, I want to apologize for the way I left that day. I didn’t mean to march out of there in a bad mood.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. I was just a little upset. But then, I didn’t see you or talk to you for a few months and that’s when I got mad.” Pam said as she scooped up a piece of cake and put it in her mouth.

Jim kept dodging his eyes around the room. “I’m sorry.”

“No biggie. That’s said and done. We’re two totally different people now. There’s no regrets in New York.” Pam said as her face flushed. She hung her head and her hair fell in front of her face as she stared at her plate and made a scratching noise with her fork.

In concern for Pam, Jim leaned in towards her to get a look at her face. He pulled her hair away from her eyes. “Pam, are you sure you’re okay?”

She held her focus on the plate. “Yeah.”

“No regrets in New York huh? Doesn’t look like it to me.”

“I lied. I have major baggage left from Scranton that I still carry around with me.”

“You don’t have to. Let’s get rid of it.”

“It’s not that easy, Jim.”

“How do you know? Have you ever got rid of baggage before? Losing your luggage at the airport doesn’t count.”

Pam gave a little smile as her eyes started to water up. Jim got the check from the waiter and paid.

“Let’s go.”

He grabbed her hand and took her out to the sidewalk where they found a cab. Jim whispered the location in the driver’s ear and they started moving.

----

Jim stood at the railing looking out over the city. He didn’t say anything or move for a long time. Pam did the same but stole some glances at Jim while he was taking in the city with his eyes. He put his arms on her shoulders and turned her towards him.

“Okay Beesly. Let’s get rid of the old us.”

“Jim, I’m not jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge.”

He laughed and then pulled out a dollar bill from his wallet. “Do you have a pen?”

Pam dug out a pen from her purse and handed it to him. “What’s this for?”

He took the pen and began jotting down some things on the dollar. When Pam looked to read it, he pulled it away from her eyes.

“You’ll get your turn.”

“What are you doing Jim?”

He handed her the dollar bill with the side he had written on face down.

“Here. Now, write down anything that you want to say, but can‘t. Anything. Regrets, fears, feeling, whatever. It can be anything you want.”

“This will take all night.”

“Just hit the highlights.”

Pam started writing and put down everything that she regretted. Most of the experiences were between her and Jim. She flipped over the bill to see what he had written but he caught her before it was too late.

“No, no Pam. We aren’t supposed to read each others,” he said as he took the bill and folded it up into a square.

“You ready?” He asked as he held out the folded up bill for her to grab the end of.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she said, mocking him from earlier that night. He smiled and counted to three. They threw all their regrets over the bridge into the water. Jim drew in a sigh and Pam stood watching the bill floating through the air and into the water. When she lost sight of the bill she turned to face Jim, who was leaning on the railing again.

“It’s gone.”

“Yeah.” he said still looking off into the distance. “Do you feel better?”

“Kind of. You?”

“A little.”

Pam put her hand up to Jim’s back and rubbed it. She was always one to want to comfort people and Jim looked like he needed it. She stroked his back with her hand and she dropped it when he stopped leaning and stood up. He looked down at Pam as she focused on his eyes. He pulled her into a hug and rested his chin on her head. She wrapped her arms around him and snuggled up tight to his body. Jim felt Pam’s shoulders move up and down, then he realized she was crying. When her shaking got worse, he held on tighter, pulling her closer and closer into his chest.

They stood on the bridge until Pam finally pulled away and wiped her eyes. She looked up at Jim who gazed at her lovingly.

“Sorry. I guess I really needed that.”

“Me too,” Jim said as he put his hands into his coat pockets. Pam took in some deep breaths as her sobs subsided.

“Well, I’m ready to go. Are you?”

“Yeah,” Jim said as he led the way down the bike path off the bridge.

“Well, where are you living? Do you want to share a cab home or is it too far away?” Jim said as they came to the end of the walk way.

“I live on the east side. You?”

“I actually don’t really know. I know my building name is Huntington Plaza though.”

“Oh. Well, we will ask the driver if he can find it. Let’s get a cab.”

----

They pulled up to Pam’s building. She got out, pulling on Jim’s hand. He followed her out of the cab on her command. He stood with her outside the building as they looked up at the apartment high rise.

“This looks like a nice place.”

“It is. I have great roommates too. All us interns house together.”

“Lucky. I’m all alone in my place. Corporate isn’t thrifty when they promote people.”

“Well, I just want to thank you for a great night. Sorry, I got all girlie on you and cried. I don’t know where that came from.”

“I do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…. I’m sorry Pam.”

“Don’t apologize for anything. Remember? All our old regrets are gone.”

“I didn’t write down as many as I should have.”

“Don’t tell me. Those are the rules.”

Jim ran his hand through his hair and turned towards the cab that was waiting. Pam’s insides leapt as he walked away. She wished he could stay and talk longer. He left as she stood with new regret’s popping into her head.

As the cab pulled away, Jim watched Pam linger by the door . He thought about the night and knew that there were things that he just couldn’t let go. On his side of the dollar, he had written:

Just twenty minutes ago he had told her he had given up all his regrets from his past. Even though he didn’t regret anything that happened, he now knew one thing he could do over--not taking the chance to kiss Pam on that bridge tonight.

Pam unlocked the door to the flat and walked into the dark living room. It was pitch black except for the blue light shining from Ben’s laptop as he sat on the couch. Pam tip toed her way across the room until he looked up at her.

“Have a nice evening?”

“Yeah. We just went out and saw the sights.”

“Cool.”

Ben looked back at his screen and clicked the mouse. He kept his gaze on the screen until Pam walked slowly past him when he turned to watch her go.

“Hey. Did you realize that we only have one week left in our internship?”

Pam turned back around. “Yeah. It’s sad.”

“Are you staying?”

“I think so.”

“Are you staying because of him?”

“Um…I don’t know. It’s a perk, I guess. Are you staying?”

“I might.”

“You should. It won’t be the same without you.”

“You can manage. You’re great.”

“You too,” she said as she walked to her bedroom.

----

The next morning, while Pam was getting ready in the mirror Andrea came in to tell her some news.

“Jan and the company are throwing us interns a goodbye party on Friday night!”

“Cool. Where’s it at?”

“I think they are having it here. She said that they are bringing the food and drinks. Oh, and we can invite friends and family, or coworkers. I’m excited!”

“Is it a formal event or laid back?”

“I think it’s a classy event. But, who says we have to wear our office clothes? Let’s go shop!”

“We should since it’s like our last time to shop together.”

“After work today we should go.”

“That sounds great.”

----

After work and eighteen boutiques later, Pam and Andrea had their outfits picked out for the event. It wasn’t much, but something to be excited to buy a new outfit over.

Andrea bought a cute dress with a nice pair of black heels. Pam went with a similar type of dress and some strappy sandals. They both thought the other looked amazing.

---

At work the next day, Pam finished up her project for the week early. Ben was still working on his project and Pam had nothing to do. She would throw a little piece of paper in his direction to distract him, entertaining herself in the process. Every now and then he would look up with a smile and throw a piece back at her. When that game got tiring she decided to call Jim and mess with him for a little bit.

“James Halpert’s office. How can I help you?”

“Stacy, can I speak with Jim?”

“Hold please.” Pam rolled her eyes knowing that Jim was probably sitting at his desk playing his solitaire.

“Hello?” said the rough voice over the other line.

“Mr. Halpert, we have decided that there needs to be some more changes made in corporate and I’m sorry to inform you that we have to let you go, without severance,” Pam said in a mock voice.

“Excuse me?” Jim said, then realized that it was Pam. He laughed over the other end. “I was about to get mad. I would have had to run out of the office and return everything I just bought.”

Pam giggled. “Hi Jim.”

“Hey. How are you?”

“Good. I’m a little bored though.”

“Oh, God. Me too.”

“You aren’t supervising anyone today?”

“Supervisors are just the people that keep a close eye on each branch. I haven’t had to go out and visit any of the offices yet.”

“Lucky.”

“So, do you want to grab some lunch?”

Pam hesitated. She knew that she and Ben always had lunch together and she didn’t want to leave him alone. “Uh, actually I already have plans for lunch.” Ben looked over at her and gave her the nod for her to go. She shook her head at him to assure him she didn’t have to go.

“Oh.” Jim said.

“It’s just something that I do everyday with Ben.” Ben shook his head again and then took the phone out of her hands and put the receiver up to his mouth.

“She’d love to go to lunch.”

Jim smiled and answered back, “Thanks.”

When Pam got the phone back from Ben she was blushing and felt like she could punch him.

“I guess I can go now.”

“I’m glad I have permission.”

“Do you want to meet me in the break room or do you want to go get something?”

“I was thinking about going out.”

“Okay. See you at lunch.”

“Great. Bye Pam.”

Ben looked over smiling from ear to ear at Pam. She picked up another piece of paper and threw it at him.

----

“So, have you made up your mind about staying in New York?” Jim asked as they sat in a restaurant near their office.

“I think I am. It’s such a great job.”

“That’s awesome. Now I can have a friend in New York.”

“Oh, I thought you had about twenty women drooling over you.”

“I had to turn them all down.”

Pam played with the rim of her glass. “Are you getting a big head Mr. Halpert?”

“You’re just jealous,” Jim said as he smiled. Pam made a face because she felt like she was a little bit jealous. She just looked at him and smiled like normal. “Girls just can’t deny the Halpert charm,” he continued.

Patting his hand Pam replied, “No they can’t.”

Jim lifted his eyebrows and leaned in. “I know one person that’s been able to resist though.”

“She’s a very smart girl,” Pam said as she pushed her hair behind her ear.

Jim glanced back and forth between his napkin and Pam. “Why do you say that?”

“Once she had you, she would be useless to the rest of the world.” Pam smiled and Jim let out a chuckle.

“Well… I’ll be all she needs.”

“She knows that.”

Pam’s heart quickened when she realized what she had said. She was playing along and she had let out one of her true feelings. She saw his demeanor change and his hand reach out to take hers. To avoid an awkward moment Pam spoke up.

“Jim, would you like to come to the party that corporate is having for the interns? They said we could invite friends and I don’t really have anyone else to invite.”

“So, I’m basically your only option.”

“Yes...”

“I’ll be there.”

----

As Pam slipped on her dress and did the final touches to her hair, she thought about having to say goodbye to everyone. She didn’t want to lose such a great roommate like Andrea. It was way better than being alone in an apartment. Then Pam thought about the apartment she was going to have to find so she could stay in NYC. She hadn’t thought about finding a place yet.

The caterers had already showed up to start setting up the food and the drinks. They had set out some tables and chairs with nice linens and candlesticks. Pam rushed around to get ready and finish putting her things away so if anyone decided to come into her room, it would be clean.

The party started with some people turning on some music and talking. Many of the interns had brought their significant others and their families. Pam had known that her mother wouldn’t want to drive three hours to come to a party. Andrea looked great in her dress and her boyfriend had come up from Jersey to be with her. Pam stood talking with Andrea and her boyfriend when Jim came in the door with his work suit on. Pam skipped over to where he was and gave him a peck on the cheek. He smiled and stood back to take a look at her dress.

“Man, New York shopping does wonders.”

Pam smiled and then twirled in her dress. “Yes it does.”

“So, what’s happened? Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re just in time. Nothing has happened. It’s pretty boring.”

Jim laughed. “Introduce me.”

“Why? All of the girls already know who you are.” She said as she let out a laugh and a smile.

“Come on Beesly,” said Jim as he tugged on her arm.

----

By the end of the night, Pam had introduced Jim to her roommates and given him a tour of the apartment. After most of the guests had already left, Jim decided that it was time for him to go.

“I’m gonna get going,” Jim said as he put his thumb over his shoulder pointing at the door.

“Okay. Let me walk you down.”

When they reached the lobby Jim gave Pam a hug.

“Thanks for inviting me. I had a good time.”

“No, thank you for saving me. I was going to be here alone if you didn’t come.”

“It’s a nice place you have there.”

“It’s not mine anymore. After the internship is up on Sunday, I’m out.”

“Really? Where are going to go?”

“I don’t know yet. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“You could always stay at my place.”

“Jim, I don’t know about that. I mean, wouldn’t it be weird? Especially, when you brought a girl back to your place and all…”

“I have another bedroom, Pam. Trust me, I‘m not going to be bringing any girls home with me,” he said with a grin.

“Sure you aren’t.”

“No seriously. You can stay with me until you can find a place. Or, you don’t have to leave at all.”

“Let me see what my options are.”

Jim furrowed his brow and his demeanor suddenly went sour, “What’s the problem?”

“Things have changed between us Jim. It just might be weird.”

“What’s changed Pam?”

“You!”

“What do you mean? I’m the same guy I was back in Scranton.”

“No you’re not... You’re different.”

“How?”

“Everything. The way you dress, the way you act, your life is completely different.”

“And yours isn’t?”

“It is. But, Jim, I loved you for you. Not some guy that’s trying impress me.”

“You think that’s what I’m doing? Trying to impress you?”

“It seems that way.”

“Excuse me for wanting a change in my life. After you left and I experienced some major changes, I decided that I couldn’t sit around and be that Jim anymore. When I saw you, it felt like normal again. That’s the only thing that’s the same about me--my feelings for you.”

Pam didn’t say anything. Here they were, arguing over loving and caring for one another. Pam didn’t know what to say to that. She knew that she didn’t need New York City to change her feelings for Jim but it seemed like New York City had changed him.

Andrea came into the room when Pam was packing up the last of her stuff. She pulled the rest out of the closet and into her bag.

“So, where are you going to be staying?”

“I think I’m going to the Hyatt for a few nights.”

“I wish I could stay with you. I have to go back to my old job.”

“I sometimes wish that I’d chosen to do that.”

“What’s the problem?”

“I kind of wanted to stay because of Jim and we had a little disagreement last night.”

“Over what?”

“He offered for me to stay at his place and then I was stupid and told him that he was a different person now and that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay there.”

“Ouch. Well, at least you were honest.”

“I know. I just feel bad because he was my best friend and now things are different between us.”

“Don’t worry. I think things will get better. Don’t give up on the poor guy.”

Pam nodded her head and went back to packing her things.

----

Before the apartment was cleared, Ben asked to talk with Pam. She agreed and followed him to the terrace.

“So, I guess I need to tell you now that I am not going to be staying.”

“Why?” Pam asked as her eyes widened.

“I had another job offer that is closer to home. I think it’ll be better.”

“Oh, well, congrats. I’m gonna miss you!”

“I know. I thought hard about staying and it just seemed like I was staying for the wrong reasons. But, I will definitely miss you too.”

They embraced and walked back to the door to the living room. Ben turned and looked Pam in the eyes.

“If Jim and you don’t work out, you can call me anytime.”

“Will do.” Pam said as she smiled and opened the door.

----

The night in the Hyatt was hard for Pam. She couldn’t sleep and couldn’t get comfortable in the bed. She tried to do things that would distract her from her current situation, but nothing worked. She tried rolling over, turning the heat up and down, and her favorite late night snack, chocolate. Finally, she decided to work out her problem with the person that was causing her problem.

“Pam? Are you okay? It’s four in the morning.”

“Yeah, I can’t sleep.”

“And, just where are you sleeping tonight?”

“The Hyatt.”

“Wow. How long will you be staying there?”

“I don’t know. That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

“You can come over now if you want.”

“I can wait until the morning but, I just wanted to say that I was sorry. I know that things have changed and I want to fix them.”

“I’m out of bed and I’m coming over now. Don’t fall asleep on me.”

“Jim, you don’t have to do that….”

“I’m already out the door. What’s your room number?”

“Jim! It can wait.”

“Apparently it can’t since you called me at 4 a.m. What’s the room number?”

“1239.”

“See you soon.”

----

Jim knocked on her door. He didn’t care what time it was and he didn’t care what he looked like at the moment. His hair was in disarray and his eyes still groggy with sleep. He took a cab to get to the hotel where they let him walk right past the security into the elevator.

He knocked again and then he finally heard the clicking of locks and chains. He remembered the last time he had showed up at her door and how she had slammed it in his face. He didn’t want that to happen this time. She opened the door with a piece of chocolate in her hand. She smiled at the look of him.

“Hi,” said Jim as he gave her a smile back.

“I thought I ordered an escort with dark hair and a moustache.”

“He was out with another client.” Jim said as he lifted his eyebrows.

Pam nodded her head for him to enter. He slipped in the door and sat down in the desk chair across the room.

“So, what do we need to discuss?” Jim said as he slapped the arms of the chair.

“I can’t sleep,” Pam said as she avoided the conversation.

“Obviously. I’m wide awake now.”

“Do you want to go do something? We could totally find someplace that sells coffee and sit there.”

“If you want but I must have coffee though.”

“Let me go put some jeans on. If I didn’t people would be giving me money on the streets.”

“You don’t look like a bum, Pam.”

“Not yet. I will if I keep spending my money on the Hyatt.”

-----

Jim and Pam walked down the street with their coffee in hand. Jim looked over at Pam as she sipped on her coffee. When she caught him looking at her, she would smile and return back to sipping. This was a game they played with one another.

“So, do you want to walk around NYC all morning or actually do something?”

“I thought I was coming over to help you move your stuff but I guess the plans changed. The things I do for you,” He said as he shook his head.

“I’ve never done this before. You know, staying up all night, getting coffee at 4 a.m., and walking down the street in basically my pajamas.”

“It’s time you started to live!”

“I’m really kind of happy that I’m doing this. It feels….natural.”

“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” Jim said as he stopped and sipped on his drink. “Hey, look. The suns coming up.” He pointed over a building and nudged Pam to look up.

“Wow. That’s the first time I've seen the sun rise in NYC.”

“If it wasn’t for the smog and the constant noise, this would’ve been a very beautiful moment,” Jim said.

Pam looked up at Jim who was still looking up at the sky and putting his coffee up to his lips. Pam didn’t care about looking at the sky, all she needed was Jim standing next to her. He found her gazing up at him and he did a double take then froze.

“What?” he said with a grin.

“Oh, nothing.”

“You’re not telling me something.”

“Nothing.,” she said as she started walking again and swinging her free hand. Jim caught up to her pace and laughed at her.

“You’re such a girl Pam.”

“Duh!”

“I cannot believe that you just said duh. Only twelve year old girls say duh.”

“Would you prefer Captain Obvious over duh?”

“Classics are way better than the word ‘duh.’”

“I see.”

After a few steps without any conversation Pam had an idea.

“Do you want to go shopping in Chinatown?”

“I’m totally yours for the day. I have nothing to do besides pass out when I get home.”

“Then we are going to Chinatown before we have to put you to bed.”

-----

Pam ran in and out of shops finding necklaces, bumper stickers, shirts, hats, postcards, and even purses. Jim followed her as she made her selections and purchased each one. After filling a few shopping bags that were enough for both of them to carry, they decided to find a place to have breakfast.

As they sat eating eggs and bacon, Jim yawned uncontrollably. Pam giggled at the tired Jim that sat before her. He was doing his best to eat without passing out. He yawned again and it caused a reaction in Pam that made her yawn.

“I think I need some sleep now,” Jim said as he rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah, I do too.”

“Let’s get out of here.”

----

“Well, give me a call when you get up. I can help you move your things into the spare bedroom tonight.” Jim said as he started taking a few steps away from Pam’s hotel.

“You can catch a nap in my room. I can sleep on the couch.”

“No, I don’t want to do that. You need your privacy.”

“Jim, come on. You’re acting foolish. Just come up with me and get a nap.”

Pam pulled on Jim’s arm and led him to the elevator. When they entered the room Jim flopped down on the bed and put his arm over his face. Pam went to the restroom and when she came back, he was already sleeping with his legs hanging off the bed. Pam smiled and went to sit up against the headboard. She turned on the television to watch the news but sleep finally found her.

---

When Jim woke up, he rolled over to see Pam hunched over on her side. He sat up and let out another yawn. The clock read 1:09 p.m.. Jim grabbed the covers and pulled them over Pam. He decided to slip out and call her later to find out when she was going to move in. He was genuinely excited that she was going to be staying at his place. He didn’t care how long she needed to stay and didn’t mind if she never left.

The first few weeks of living with Jim were awkward. Pam knew what she got herself into when she moved her things into the spare bedroom. She realized that she would have to see him everyday and walk home with him from work. She felt like she had just started a relationship with a guy she hadn’t kissed in almost a year. She wanted to desperately, but decided that whenever they were ready to go down that path, they would both know.

Pam’s room was her haven. It allowed her to paint and do her sketches in privacy. She liked that whenever she was in her room, Jim would leave her alone. He respected her space and she did so with his as well. They got along well and took turns making dinner or taking each other out. Pam found herself daydreaming about what it would be like if they were a married couple. She could see him sitting at the table next to her holding her hand, holding each other as they watched a movie, and playing with their children in the living room. Pam always turned her thoughts away from these images, knowing that it might not happen that way.

“Mornin’ Pam,” Jim said as he adjusted his tie in the kitchen as she was pouring some coffee.

“Good morning,” she said as she sat down at the counter in her pajamas.

“Do you want me to make something to eat or do you want to fend for yourself?”

“I think I can find something unless you wanted to make something.”

“Okay. Well, I could make some omelets. What do you think?”

“That sounds great. Let me go get my clothes on for work and I’ll be back out to help. On my omelet all I want is…..”

“…..cheese, ham, and bell peppers,” Jim said as he was digging the ingredients out of the refrigerator.

Pam turned and smiled even though he wasn’t looking at her. She was surprised he remembered. Then again, he had made her an omelet a few times.

-----

Pam started work that day with a full belly and a work load that could kill. She was grateful for the distraction when the phone rang.

“Pam Beesly’s desk.”

“Hey Pam!”

“Who’s this?”

“I can’t believe you’ve already forgotten about me.”

“Ben? Is that you?”

“Yeah. How have you been?”

“Great! What’s new with you?”

“Instead of talking over the phone, why don’t we go to dinner tonight?”

“You’re in town?”

“I’m visiting family again and decided to skip out on them and see you. What do you say?”

“I would love that Ben.”

“Great. Meet me at Frank and Tom’s at seven thirty?

“That sounds perfect.”

“See you then Pam.”

Pam was excited to see Ben. He had become a close friend over the four months that they had interned together. He was a great guy and she had even thought about a relationship with him at one time. As soon as work let out, she met Jim in the lobby to walk home.

When she saw Jim standing there in the lobby with his briefcase and coat, her heart sank. She felt guilty for making plans to go out with another guy and leave Jim at home. She wasn’t even dating Jim and it made her sick to think about hurting his feelings. She walked up and he smiled at her.

“Are you feeling okay Pam? You have this weird look on your face.”

Pam realized that her internal thoughts were being displayed on the surface. “Oh, it has just been a long day.”

“Same here.”

As they walked across the street and up to the apartment Pam decided that she should let him know that she would be going out tonight.

“Hey, is it okay if I go to dinner with Ben tonight?” she said without looking up at him.

Jim stuck out his lower lip and shook his head. “You don’t need to ask me. I’m not your father.”

“I know, it’s just I didn’t want you to think that I was going on a date.”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“No. Ben is in town and he wants to catch up at his favorite pizza spot.”

“Pam, don’t worry about me. You can go out.”

“Thanks. I know it was weird to ask but I didn’t want to leave here knowing that you were upset by it.”

“I don’t have a problem with it,” Jim lied.

“Great.”

----

Around seven Pam got her purse and coat and walked over to the door and hollered at Jim who wasn’t in the living room.

“I’m leaving! I’ll be back later! Goodnight.”

She checked to make sure that he wasn’t coming down the hallway and when she saw that he wasn’t, she opened the door and left.

----

She walked up to the familiar shop and stepped in. She looked around for Ben but couldn’t see him. From behind her she heard his voice.

“Hello pretty lady,” Ben said as he turned her around and hugged her.

“Ben, it’s so good to see you.”

“You too. Let’s grab us a slice and then chat at the table.”

After they waited in line for their slice of pizza, they found a corner booth and sat down.

“So, Pam…what’s new?”

Pam wiped the grease off her lips and swallowed her bite. “Nothing much. I’m very busy at work.”

“Really? Is it harder than the internship?”

“Let’s just say that Martin keeps piling the projects on my desk.”

“Well, at least you are doing what you like to do.”

“Yeah, it’s great.”

“So, you got your own place?”

“No, I’m actually rooming with Jim.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were dating him. I should have asked that before inviting you to dinner.”

“We aren’t dating. We’re just friends that share a place.”

“I see. Whew.”

“Yeah, we are just ….really, really…close friends.”

“Do you want it that way?”

“Sometimes.”

“You love him?”

Pam put her pizza on the plate and placed her elbows on the table. She rubbed her forehead with her hand and rested her head in the other.

“I do.”

“Then why are you guys not together?”

“I don’t know. I think we are both kind of in this whole phase where we don’t know where we stand.”

“Pam, just talk to him.”

“I have before. It’s complicated. He’s my roommate, my best friend, and I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“Trust me, I think he would try his best not to ruin anything with you. You’re a great woman,” Ben said as he reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Thanks Ben. Now, let’s talk about what you’re doing these days.”

-----

Pam had a great night talking with Ben. He was managing a graphic design firm that dealt with advertising accounts. He was making great money, had a new home, was still dating his girlfriend, and told Pam he had bought a ring.

She walked up to the door and opened it slowly. She felt like she was still interning and walking in from the night she spent with Jim on the bridge. She remembered finding Ben sitting with his laptop on his lap waiting up for her. This time, Jim wasn’t sitting on the couch, he was apparently in his room.

She went into her room, flicked on the light, pulled off her jacket, and then stuck her head out her door to look down the hallway to where Jim’s room was. Her dinner with Ben had confirmed that she needed to be with Jim. Ben was a great guy, but he wasn’t the guy that Jim was.

She glanced out her door and saw that his door was shut. She walked down the hallway quietly making sure not to wake him if he was sleeping. She didn’t hear his television on or him moving around. She leaned her ear up to the door to listen for any movement. She heard a little bit of rustling and pushed herself closer to the door to hear if he was getting out of bed.

“What are you doing?”

Pam jumped and turned around to see Jim standing behind her. He laughed at her startled reaction. She caught her breath and starting giggling.

“I was just going to see if you were awake.”

“I was in the shower. Did you need something?”

“Nothing,” she lied.

“How was your night?”

“It was good. We just caught up.”

“I’m glad.” he said as he squeezed past her and opened his door.

“Wait, I just wanted to let you know that it wasn’t a date.”

“That’s what you implied earlier. Why would I be upset about that anyways?”

“Jim…”

“You are free to do whatever you want.”

“No, I don’t want to go out with other guys. I want to be with you.”

“Pam, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s long overdue. I’ve wanted to do this since you showed up in NYC.”

“Pam, stop.”

“Are we going to do this over again?”

“You’re feeling guilty and I don’t want it to be out of pity for me.”

“I don’t pity you. You are the most amazing guy I know and you’ve been nothing but sweet to me.”

“I hurt you back in Scranton and I don’t think I can do that again. If we started dating I might be liable to screw it up like all my other relationships.”

“This won’t be like any of our other relationships.” With that, Pam tugged on Jim’s t-shirt and laid a kiss on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. They didn’t force the kiss. It was gentle and loving. Pam ran her arms under his and let them rest on his shoulders. They stood in Jim’s doorway kissing until Pam pulled back and opened her eyes to look up at him. He took in a few deep breaths and smiled at her.

“What was that?” Jim asked as he ran his hand through his wet hair.

“I love you.”

“Was it supposed to happen like this?”

“I don’t care how it happened. All that matters is that we finally gave in.”

“I love you too.”

Jim pulled her into another knee-weakening kiss. Flash backs from their first kiss in the office entered her mind. She also remembered seeing him for the first time in almost four months. She actually passed out that time. She held tight to him to secure herself in his grip.

 A few months later.....

Pam sat at home one evening waiting for Jim to return from a branch evaluation. He had been gone all day long and Pam couldn’t wait to see him. Over the past few months, they had had a pretty sweet relationship. He would send flowers to her desk, hold her hand as they walked to and from work, call her into his office for a kiss, email her about twice a day, and make dinner every other night. She did her best to keep up with his charm. She cooked, found his favorite movie at the movie store or on television, and left notes lying around his home office. She liked the way things were turning out.

Tonight, she wanted to tell Jim that she was ready to move into his room. They had decided to stay in separate rooms for the first few months to keep the relationship normal. They didn’t want to rush things and promised when they felt like moving to the next step, Pam could move her stuff into his room. Pam felt like she was ready to take that step.

Jim walked in the door a little after nine. Pam heard him come in and instantly rushed to hug him. She gave him a kiss and a warm hug that they both seemed reluctant to end.

“I missed you.”

“Me too,” Jim said as he kissed the top of her head.

“I want to tell you something.”

“Wait, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go for a walk.”

“I would love that.”

Pam went and got her light jacket and followed Jim out the door. Instead of a walk, Jim waved for a cab and slipped the driver and piece of paper and the fair. Pam looked at him in wonderment.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

----

Leaning on the railing of the Brooklyn Bridge, Pam looked over and smiled at Jim. They both gazed out over the city and the river. The lights of the city were reflecting off the water and creating a beautiful backdrop. Jim pulled her to his side and put his arm around her. With his other hand he pulled out a dollar bill and a pen and held it up.

Pam smiled and grabbed it from him and began to write on it just like the last time. Jim could tell she was having a hard time thinking about things to write. Half of the time she stood with the pen to her lips staring off into the dark. He laughed and took it away from her. He jotted down his thoughts then folded it up and held it out for Pam to grab on. They counted to three and threw the bill out over the water.

Pam reached over to embrace Jim. Everything felt so warm and right in his arms as they watched their regrets and feelings floating through the air.

“What did you write?” Pam said as she nuzzled under his chin.

“Isn’t that against the rules?”

“I don’t care Jim.”

“Well, I don’t think I can just tell you what I wrote. I might need to show you.”

He kissed her and ran his hands along her back gently. Pam knew that now was the right time to tell him that she was ready to move forward. When the kiss ended she looked up and sighed.

“I’m ready to take the next step Jim.”

“You are?”

“Aren’t you?”

Jim hesitated. He nervously put his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet. Pam felt nervous that he didn’t respond right away. Jim then took in a deep breath, and pulled out his hand. He held a tiny velvet box. Jim didn’t take his eyes off of the box. He took another deep breath, wiped his face with his free hand, and lowered himself on one knee.

Pam put her hands to her mouth as her eyes widened. She let out a squeal and did a little dance. Jim opened the ring box and looked up to her.

“Will you, Pamela Beesly, marry me?”

As the tears ran down her cheeks, she bent over and whispered in his ear, “yes.”

He stood up and placed the diamond on her finger. He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it. She stood on the tips of her toes to seal the proposal with a kiss as Jim ran his thumb over her cheek to wipe her tears.

“I thought this was supposed to be a happy thing. You look like you are going to a funeral.”

“I’m happy Jim. Girls sometimes cry when they’re happy.”

“I guess I have a lot to learn then,” Jim said as he played with one of her curls.

“Yes, you do.”

“I love you Pam.”

“Jim, I love you so much.”

They gently kissed under the lights of the city.

“What did you write down?”

“You said it was against the rules to tell,” Pam said as she wiped her tears away.

“Screw the rules.”

“I don’t know if I want to tell you what I put Mr. Halpert.”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me. Deal?”

“Then what did you write?”

“Um…I put…I love Pam.”

“You’re a romantic aren’t you?”

“I guess girls do that to me. What did you write?”

“Well, I put down the time I spilled wine on your suit and didn’t tell you.”

“So, that’s how that stain got there?” Jim said as he pointed at her with a grin.

Pam blushed and giggled. “And, I also mentioned some things about this guy that I really love. But, I’ll keep those to myself.”

He placed another kiss on her mouth and grabbed her hand.

“Let’s get going. We have a long night a head of us.”

Pam dropped her jaw and then laughed.

-----

Almost a year later, Jim and Pam walked up to the familiar doors of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. They had driven the two hours to visit with their old coworkers. This time, they walked hand in hand into the office with Pam resting a hand on her slightly larger stomach. Jim looked down to give her a smile and leaned over to kiss her. They stepped through the door and into the place where their adventure started nearly seven years ago.

The End.