"What?" The incredulous voice cut sharply through the phone line.

"Do. You. Think. I. Seem. Happy?" He tried not to sound irritated. He failed.

She sighed through her teeth, and for seconds that felt like hours, the harsh "Fffffffft" seemed to echo all around him.

"Look, Jim. Enough with the Mr. Morose bullshit. You are starting to seem like one of those whiny guys in that crap music you like. Happy? Why the hell wouldn't you be happy? In one year, you've gotten two promotions, a better apartment, and, if I may say, a pretty cool girlfriend. You have nothing to be UNhappy about."

"I suppose...." She was right, after all, about all of those things. He started to suspect that he was a grade A chump, once again sucked into the orbit of his pathetic unrequited crush....

"Jim. Every time you interact with Pam you end up like this. The girl has issues, OK? Crazy-ass ex fiance, dead end job, no real prospects. Don't let her shove her garbage on to you."

He tensed immediately when Karen said her name. He wanted to tell her to shut up, what did she know.....but, instead, he remained very still, silently allowing Karen's words to wash over him like an oily wave.

"Honey." God, he hated it when she called him "Honey." Or "Sweetie." Or "Baby." It was so.....ugh. But, she persisted, and he never seemed to have the strength to resist. "I love you and I want you to be happy. And, I'm just going to hang up now and leave you with this advice: Don't talk to her anymore. She's no good for you."

"Goodnight." He said immediately, and lowered the handset to the cradle without commenting on a single thing she'd said.