Jim stopped at his car.  

"Aw, crap."

"What?"   Karen asked, her hand already on the passenger door.

"I forgot my iPod."   He pointedly looked at her hand.  "Are you not taking your car home?" 

"I thought we were going to dinner."

"Were we?  Um, Ok, fine with me, I guess.   Here..."  He unlocked the car.  "I'll be back in a sec."  He watched her settle in to his car and fold her arms.   She did not move to shut the door, so he walked around and did it for her.   "Just a minute."  He jogged back to the building, swallowing a nameless irritation that had been dogging him all day.   She was great, really great.   And, she wanted to be with him.   A lot.   So he should be happy.   Just a year ago, he was moping around playing Mr. Solitary and, frankly, it sucked.   So, really, he shouldn't be annoyed by her presumption about dinner.

But, he was.  

He jabbed at the elevator button three times, and then impatiently headed for the stairwell.  He took the steps two at a time, and swiftly entered the office.   It was dim, lit only by the single floor lamp by the reception desk.   As he rounded the corner, he froze.  

Pam was at his desk -- Ryan's desk -- oh, hell.   The empty desk where.....  Jim stood, stock still.

She sat, rigidly upright in the chair, staring down at the blank surface.  Her palms lay flat, and she smoothed them gently over the surface, as though she were straightening wrinkles from an invisible tablecloth.  A single brand new unsharpened pencil lay on the surface of the desk, which was otherwise bare, giving no hint of any significance to anyone.  Jim took a step forward, and then stopped dead when he realized.

She was crying.

Her face was wet, and massive tears fell unhindered from her eyes.   She let out a choking gasp, and her head dropped, her cheek resting against the empty desktop.  Her shoulders shook violently, and the air was filled with great gulping sobs. 

"Pam?"  He felt like his voice sounded very far away.  "Are you OK?"

She looked up and stared directly into his eyes.  She should have been surprised to see him there, she didn't show it if she was. 

"No."  she said flatly.   She held his gaze, her face expressionless, but the tears still rolling down her cheeks.   She did startle a little when the elevator dinged.  

Jim turned and hurriedly went back to the reception area to intercept the interloper before they intruded on Pam's obvious sorrow.  Of course.  It was Karen.  

"What the heck, Halpert?  Did you get lost?"  

"Um....No...uh, I just remembered I have to finish a report...why don't I just catch up with you later?" 

Her eyes narrowed and flitted briefly to the coatrack, where Pam's coat hung rather conspicuously. "Why don't you just come to my place?" Was it just his imagination, or did her voice suddenly become louder?  "We can skip dinner and go straight to dessert."

"Um, yeah, I'll just talk to you later."  He found himself annoyed as she pressed against him, kissing him and running her hands down his back.  "Bye."  He watched her get back on the elevator, shaking his head when he was sure the doors were closed.  

When he turned around, the kitchen door was swinging shut.  The desk was empty, except for that single pencil, snapped neatly in two.

She stood at the sink, her back to the door.  Yet, somehow, he could tell that she had been waiting expectantly for him to follow her.  Oddly enough, her presumption didn't offend him the way Karen's had, despite the fact that Karen had far more right to her expectations.  He shook himself loose from the thought and approached her, placing one hand softly on her shoulder. 

"What's wrong?"

She sighed without turning.  "I'm tired."

"Hey, there, someone very wise once told me about how important it is to get enough slee..."

"I'm getting plenty of sleep."  She cut him off abruptly, and turned to face him.  Her crying had ceased, and her eyes were dry but bright. "I am tired of waiting."

"Waiting for what?"  In the pause that followed, Jim lost himself again.  He was conscious that his hand was still on her shoulder, but he was determined not to move it.  The subtle motions of her shallow breath seemed to send a signal up his arm and straight to his heart, reminding him that she was there, that she was real, and so was he.....He bit his own tongue in frustration, determined to stay focused on reality.  It was just so hard when she was so close...

"I am tired of waiting for my friend Jim to come back."

"What are you talking about, Pam?"  He felt irrationally and defensively irritated at her statement.  His hand dropped to his side with a sharp slap against his thigh.  "I've been back since the fall."

"Yeah.  You've been here.   Karen's boyfriend, Mr. Assistant Regional Manager with his nice new suits and trendy new car.  But, see, Jim used to come in and make the day for everyone in the office.  Me, most of all.  He knew absolutely how to find fun in every single boring second.  And he used to smile so, so brightly.  And...."  her voice broke a little, "I just feel like I'd give anything to see that smile again." 

"Pam.   I'm the same person I always was.   I'm just not a kid anymore.   Was I supposed to be some washed up goofball forever?   Hating my job.  Playing jokes like a bored kid in school in order to impress some girl who was engaged to another guy?   Now I've had two promotions in one year and I've got a great girlfriend who wants to be with me....all...the...time."  He paused as his voice trailed a little,  then resumed his more determined tone.  "I don't want to be that sad sack ever again."

"Humph."  Pam folded her arms and looked him squarely in the eye, one eyebrow arched in an expression that told him he wasn't fooling her at all.  "Funny thing.   I just can't seem to figure out why you seemed so much happier back when you were miserable." 

"Why do you care so much?   It seems pretty selfish that you are all upset that I'm not trailing after you anymore.  You had your chance, you turned me down.   Why begrudge me the right to move on?"

"Had my chance?  Oh, like two minutes taken by surprise in one evening kind of chance?  Nice."  She pushed by him and headed for the kitchen door, turning back to him when she reached it.  "I know I hurt you, Jim.  And I am so, so sorry.  But I wasn't in the position to handle things any other way.  And I don't think you can say that I've begrudged you anything.  I've gone out of my way to try to support this 'new Jim' thing you've got working.   Hell, I even helped you out of an argument with Karen, when what I really wanted to do was scream at you to dump her and be with me instead.  And, I'll continue to support you.   Because, I love you and I want you to be happy."  She was now talking so fast that the words seemed to tumble on top of each other.   "But don't YOU begrudge ME the right to be really, really sad about it." 

His hair ruffled in the breeze from the door swinging shut.  He stood, rooted to the spot, unable to process what had just happened.   On one hand, he felt convinced that he was in the right.  He was successful in his career ("If this was my career I'd have to throw myself in front of a train," his own words mocked him in his mind) and had a beautiful girlfriend, ("I'm really happy I'm with Karen."  yeah.)  so what the heck did it matter if Pam didn't like it.  She had enough issues, breaking off a wedding, stuck in a nowhere job....He suddenly felt really, really guilty.  He hadn't thought about what Pam's life was like at all...it had always felt like she held all the cards, had all the control over their relationship....it never dawned on him that she could feel like he was in the driver's seat. 

He walked back in to the office, and sank slowly into the chair at the empty desk.  He lifted the receiver on the phone (his phone) and dialed. 

"Hey.   No, just wrapping things up, I'm about to leave now.  Yeah, I will.   Um.....can I ask you something?  No, it's just......well....."  this was really awkward, but he had to say it, put it out there, make it seem real and not just like some stupid dream like everything else.  "Do I seem happy to you, Karen?"

"What?" The incredulous voice cut sharply through the phone line.

"Do. You. Think. I. Seem. Happy?" He tried not to sound irritated. He failed.

She sighed through her teeth, and for seconds that felt like hours, the harsh "Fffffffft" seemed to echo all around him.

"Look, Jim. Enough with the Mr. Morose bullshit. You are starting to seem like one of those whiny guys in that crap music you like. Happy? Why the hell wouldn't you be happy? In one year, you've gotten two promotions, a better apartment, and, if I may say, a pretty cool girlfriend. You have nothing to be UNhappy about."

"I suppose...." She was right, after all, about all of those things. He started to suspect that he was a grade A chump, once again sucked into the orbit of his pathetic unrequited crush....

"Jim. Every time you interact with Pam you end up like this. The girl has issues, OK? Crazy-ass ex fiance, dead end job, no real prospects. Don't let her shove her garbage on to you."

He tensed immediately when Karen said her name. He wanted to tell her to shut up, what did she know.....but, instead, he remained very still, silently allowing Karen's words to wash over him like an oily wave.

"Honey." God, he hated it when she called him "Honey." Or "Sweetie." Or "Baby." It was so.....ugh. But, she persisted, and he never seemed to have the strength to resist. "I love you and I want you to be happy. And, I'm just going to hang up now and leave you with this advice: Don't talk to her anymore. She's no good for you."

"Goodnight." He said immediately, and lowered the handset to the cradle without commenting on a single thing she'd said.

Jim found himself sitting in his car, only marginally sure of how he'd gotten there.  He felt like an automaton as he turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot.   Karen's words echoed in the hollow chamber of his ears.

"I love you."

"I want you to be happy" 

The words twisted and wrapped around each other until they lost all meaning.   " EyeLuh ffyooo.  Iwan tewe toobeehah Pee"  it made no sense.  Karen's voice seemed to echo around him, curling into shapes he'd heard before.

"We're friends, right?"

No wait.  Karen had never said that.   It was Karen who had said.....

Oh, God.  She did say it.

But, so did............

A blast from the horn of a muffler-impaired pickup truck snapped Jim's head up to stare at the traffic light above him, shining green down onto his dashboard, where his clicking turn signal pointed left towards Karen's apartment.

Moving as if in a dream, he put his car in first, and drove.  He turned right.