Something has happened, and Dwight knows it.

Jim’s not moving his neck just so, in that way that makes his side hit the desk, which in turn shakes Dwight’s computer and interrupts his work. Perhaps he’s ill and contaminating the office, and is thus too sick to even think about looking at Pam like he normally does.

“Eaten any corn recently?” Dwight asks nonchalantly, and Jim makes that stupid face he’s always making, the one that makes him look like a caricature of a real person.

“Why no Dwight, is that a problem?” Dwight scoffs, Jim can be so out of touch sometimes.

“Um, duh. There’s radioactivity in all frozen corn.” Jim’s face morphs even more, and Dwight can’t help but want to hit him in the skull with a stapler.

“Well Dwight, I’ll let you know if I start… Wait, does radioactive corn make you glow?” Dwight narrows his eyes and tries desperately not take the bait. Except, Jim could conceivably turn into a superhero and…

“In some cases, why do you ask?” Jim’s face becomes serious as he holds a hand out to Dwight.

“Because yesterday I woke up at three in the morning and I could have sworn my hand was… It sounds crazy but… Lit up like a very green… Night light. Also, it was buzzing.”

This cannot be happening. If Jim is leaking radioactive isotopes then every single person in-

“I don’t believe you. Have you tried to fly yet?” Jim nods solemnly.

“Yeah and… None of my bones broke when I hit the ground.” Dwight slams his hands on the desk loudly.

“This is not a joke, Jim. I suggest you determine what’s truly wrong with you, because you could theoretically be giving us all cancer. Is that what you want?”

“Save the Sales Rep, Save the World.”

“Shut up.”

“Seriously! It’s like magic, bred by corn. Corn bread magic. Ha!”

“Idiot.”

“You’re just jealous because I can read minds.” Jim smirks. Dwight wants to know that Jim is messing with him, wants to be secure that ignoring him will not upset the fate and balance of the entire world, but if Dwight Schrute doesn’t take care of this office then nobody will.

“There’s no way you’re an invincible glow in the dark super human who can read minds.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Oh yeah? What am I thinking right… Now!”

“You’re thinking that there’s no way I know what you’re thinking.” Jim answers promptly, and Dwight is momentarily stunned.

“But- That… That’s not fair!” He splutters.

“Was I right?” Jim interrupts.

“That’s not-“

“Was. I. Right?” Dwight sighs.

“Yes, but that is not an accurate representation of mind reading powers.” Dwight thinks for a moment. “Ok, I’ve devised a simple test wherein you will tell me what number I am thinking of.”

“No I will not.” Dwight makes a noise of frustration.

“Then how will I know if you’re lying?”

“You won’t…” Jim looks at him menacingly “But I’ll know if you’re lying.”

“I’ll tell Michael you’re invading my mindspace!” Dwight yells shrilly, then mentally smacks himself for falling for it yet again.

“I’m done with you now, Dwight. Let me know when you’re ready to accept me for the Magically Advanced Human that I am.”

Dwight spends the rest of the morning glowering at his desk. Jim still hasn’t looked at Pam, save for the occasional over-the-shoulder glance, but that’s far from Dwight’s mind now. He must prepare for the dark day when Jim Halpert fully embraces evil, and puts all of their lives on the line.

As hard as she tries to avoid it, Angela gets bored. The gray monotony of day to day life is occasionally too much to bear. However, there are bright spots, some days. If she is able to talk to Dwight, if Oscar doesn’t speak, if Kelly is sick or Ryan inexplicably missing. These are the things that make it bearable.

Also, the Pam Pong. She has yet to give this up, though don’t think she hasn’t noticed the subtle changes, the shifts that have caused the game to be put on hiatus. The stalled love between the Sales Rep and the Receptionist, both people whom she must admit she’s not very fond of, makes for a very entertaining day at the office. Again, she must constantly stress to herself how much she doesn’t like her accessories, her ball and paddle. She doesn’t much enjoy the company of Pam, who is honestly a shameless flirt, and possibly an adulterer, and let’s face it, something of a heart breaker. But she dislikes Karen on principle: doesn’t like her newness, her flawless skin, or her shiny hair. Mostly Angela doesn’t like how she’s ruined Pam Pong.

Of course Angela doesn’t like Jim at all. Wouldn’t go so far as to say hate unless she’s totally alone. She hates the way he’s so loud, how he’s always remaining the ‘good guy’ even while mercilessly torturing Dwight.

Also, Angela is keenly aware that the only two people in the office who refuse to admit that Jim and Pam are in love are Jim and Pam. Even Karen seems to have taken the hint. She thinks they’re pretty dumb, allowing it to get this far, but she might as well have a little fun with their misery.

So she’s invented a new game, called Blush Ball. This game is pretty simple, but only if you know what to look for, and she’s had years of practice. It’s only easy if you’re aware that on the day that Jim is forced to state a preference for hair color, blonde is a pretty easy guarantee of some tension, of someone’s body betraying them and allowing a rosy flush to spread upwards from their neck.

It gets even easier when you realize that you don’t necessarily have to be in the kitchen to hear the conversations that take place there. And any talk of ‘last night’ or ‘karen’ or ‘weddings’ that you might overhear is enough to score some points.

This game has an offshoot, a red-headed step-child, called Roy Rage, which gets its own separate Post-It Note Tally Sheet. These rules are also simple: any time Roy’s name or presence cause someone’s fists to clench, or makes someone’s eyes shut for a moment too long, points are added.

Angela gets bored, but the lost loves and the new loves of Dunder-Mifflin’s most obviously doomed are enough to keep her occupied for at least another day.

The awkwardness in the room is palpable. And Kelly knows words like ‘palpable’, just so you know. She might sound stupid or whatever but she went to college and she knows things. And she knows a thing or two about star-crossed love. So she hasn’t given up trying to help them, because they’re a little bit like Brad and Angelina, except Karen’s more like Angelina because she’s dark, so Pam is definitely Jen.

Which is totally perfect, because Jen and Pam both totally sit at their desks all day pining over Brad and waiting for him to realize his mistake. Though hopefully Jim doesn’t start adopting Korean babies with Karen or the whole thing will go completely to hell.

“So Pam, I think I found someone else for you to go out with,” Kelly sing songs, always within earshot of Jim. Pam blushes, of course, and covers her mouth.

“Oh Kelly, I don’t know… It hasn’t been very long since Roy and I…” Kelly studiously ignores Angela as her head pops up from behind the partition.

“Oh whatever, getting back with Roy was like a rebound from that whole Ka-Missing your wedding thing.” She recovers very quickly.

Pam pauses and looks at her skeptically “But I was marrying Roy.”

“Exactly! So ok, this guy’s totally hot, and you’re gonna love him, but you have to wear something sexy or he won’t be into it, he’s like that.”

“I don’t know, Kelly.” Pam is such a baby sometimes. Kelly sighs and rolls her eyes.

“Ok Pam, but you won’t be pretty forever.”

She tries to enlist Ryan but he’s no help at all.

“No Kelly, mind your own business.”

“But they’re so perfect for each other!” She gushes “Think about if Jim had never helped us get together.”

“I think about that all the time.” Kelly ignores the jab, but keeps it in mind because she’s always wanted to try holding out on him, just to see if he misses it at all.

“God Ryan, I don’t know why you hate love so much.” And she walks away, ignoring his grumbling response.

It’s not like she wants a miracle. She doesn’t expect them to get married or profess their undying love, all she wants is a cloaked acknowledgement. A blush from Pam, or that thing Jim does where his face falls. Nothing major, just hope.

So she keeps trying, day after day.

“Wow Pam, you look really sexy in that blouse.” Or “Hey Pam, I think Darryl has a crush on you!”

And it works, most of the time. Jim will clench his teeth usually, but the Darryl comment got him moving, got him to almost almost storm out of the kitchen.

It’s not like Kelly likes drama, she’s just trying to help.