Something has happened, and Dwight knows it.

Jim’s not moving his neck just so, in that way that makes his side hit the desk, which in turn shakes Dwight’s computer and interrupts his work. Perhaps he’s ill and contaminating the office, and is thus too sick to even think about looking at Pam like he normally does.

“Eaten any corn recently?” Dwight asks nonchalantly, and Jim makes that stupid face he’s always making, the one that makes him look like a caricature of a real person.

“Why no Dwight, is that a problem?” Dwight scoffs, Jim can be so out of touch sometimes.

“Um, duh. There’s radioactivity in all frozen corn.” Jim’s face morphs even more, and Dwight can’t help but want to hit him in the skull with a stapler.

“Well Dwight, I’ll let you know if I start… Wait, does radioactive corn make you glow?” Dwight narrows his eyes and tries desperately not take the bait. Except, Jim could conceivably turn into a superhero and…

“In some cases, why do you ask?” Jim’s face becomes serious as he holds a hand out to Dwight.

“Because yesterday I woke up at three in the morning and I could have sworn my hand was… It sounds crazy but… Lit up like a very green… Night light. Also, it was buzzing.”

This cannot be happening. If Jim is leaking radioactive isotopes then every single person in-

“I don’t believe you. Have you tried to fly yet?” Jim nods solemnly.

“Yeah and… None of my bones broke when I hit the ground.” Dwight slams his hands on the desk loudly.

“This is not a joke, Jim. I suggest you determine what’s truly wrong with you, because you could theoretically be giving us all cancer. Is that what you want?”

“Save the Sales Rep, Save the World.”

“Shut up.”

“Seriously! It’s like magic, bred by corn. Corn bread magic. Ha!”

“Idiot.”

“You’re just jealous because I can read minds.” Jim smirks. Dwight wants to know that Jim is messing with him, wants to be secure that ignoring him will not upset the fate and balance of the entire world, but if Dwight Schrute doesn’t take care of this office then nobody will.

“There’s no way you’re an invincible glow in the dark super human who can read minds.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Oh yeah? What am I thinking right… Now!”

“You’re thinking that there’s no way I know what you’re thinking.” Jim answers promptly, and Dwight is momentarily stunned.

“But- That… That’s not fair!” He splutters.

“Was I right?” Jim interrupts.

“That’s not-“

“Was. I. Right?” Dwight sighs.

“Yes, but that is not an accurate representation of mind reading powers.” Dwight thinks for a moment. “Ok, I’ve devised a simple test wherein you will tell me what number I am thinking of.”

“No I will not.” Dwight makes a noise of frustration.

“Then how will I know if you’re lying?”

“You won’t…” Jim looks at him menacingly “But I’ll know if you’re lying.”

“I’ll tell Michael you’re invading my mindspace!” Dwight yells shrilly, then mentally smacks himself for falling for it yet again.

“I’m done with you now, Dwight. Let me know when you’re ready to accept me for the Magically Advanced Human that I am.”

Dwight spends the rest of the morning glowering at his desk. Jim still hasn’t looked at Pam, save for the occasional over-the-shoulder glance, but that’s far from Dwight’s mind now. He must prepare for the dark day when Jim Halpert fully embraces evil, and puts all of their lives on the line.