Dear Diary,

First off, is it cheesy to start of 'dear diary?'. I don't really know, nor do I care right now since my so called 'best friend' blew me off, once again. I try to strike a conversation, apologizing for Pete's sake! Damn, and the sad thing is, it takes so much for me to say something so little like that. Just to talk to him is a struggle anymore.

Well, here's the full thing. So...I was sitting in the breakroom, and I saw Jim walk in. I didn't want to just start talking, so I waited for him to say something. But as my gut instinct told me, he said nothing. So I thought about it and decided to talk. I told him I was sorry. Then he told me I shouldn't be...or something like that, and that I'm going to end up being with Roy anyway. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Does he want me with Roy? Or is he just pissed about how I went home with him after Phyllis' wedding?

 Not like it should matter...since apparently he doesn't love me anymore, or so I have heard/witnessed. But he acts upset when I mention Roy....so...does that mean he still loves me? I hope it does, but I don't want to be too full of myself. This is going to sound very vain, but how could he get over me that quickly and suddenly be wrapped up in Karen? Seriously, though. It's ridiculous!! And Karen....well I'll save her for a whole entry. Yea, I hate her that much ; )

He expects me to be over Roy, and we've been together for ten years. Yea, ten freaking years. Pardon my french, but that's a bunch of bullshit that he really thinks I believe he's over me. I hope he's not, because quite frankly, I'm certainly not over him.

I'll write soon, just give me an hour or so, I'm sitting at my desk and he's walking over here....I'm assuming to talk to me. Maybe he will apologize for being so rude. I'll report back soon.

 --- Pamela.

So today was...well, interesting. Darrel had a safety training sesson in the warehouse only because Michael's an ass and can't follow the rules that have been in place for like...20 years! I enjoyed watching Darrel yell at Michael...yea, that was probably the best part of the day. Scratch that, betting with the office workers was far more fun. I kicked Karens Italian ASS. Mwuaha! Sorry, that was unnecessary. 

Karen and Jim didn't talk as much today like they usually do...I'm hoping that's a good thing. I usually see them sneek out into the stairwell during my break, and the saddest part is, that could have been me if I was true to myself. Damn, Roy. No, I need to stop blaming him, it's my fault. 

Since Roy tried to attack him, Jim hasn't been the same around Karen. Maybe he still has feelings for me? I've been thinking about doing something bold. I want him to see I'm still here and I still love him. And I probably love him more now than I ever did. But how to show him? That's the question. I don't really know, because I am always quiet at work, and I'd rather not cause a scene. Oh, what the hell! I need to do something and fast. Who knows, they might get married if I don't do something!!

Back to the saftey...Michael thought it would be a great idea to show signs of depression by jumping off of the roof and landing on a pink blow-up castle. Yes, that's correct ladies and gentlemen - Michael Gary Scott was going to jump off the roof of Dunder Mifflin on to a moon-bounce. And how he thought he wouldn't really get hurt? Well, that beats me.

Jim and I discovered the castle. Well, actually Creed saw it, but we ran over to it. I sware, Jim couldn't have had a cuter smile when he saw that thing, and for a minute I thought he was acutally going to get in it. And yea, I would have, too. I had this burning urge to kiss him, really hard that day. It was weird. Am I crazy for wanted to get laid by Jim Halpert in a pink moon-bounce castle?! Well, yes, and he'd never do that. Not anymore since he 'evolved.' But screw that, the microwave's beeping so I think my gourmet meal of bagel bites is done. I'll write back later.

* Pam