It was about three months after Ryan dumped her, and three weeks after the last time she had sex with him.  It didn't happen often, but occasionally he would call her up and say he missed her and then they would end up getting together and fucking in the car or on her couch, and then he would tell her it was a mistake and could never happen again.  But it would always happen again, eventually, even though he would show up at the office for his weekly visit, since he was the boss now and everything, and he would act like she didn't exist.   She wasn't sure why she let it happen at all, except that she still loved him and figured eventually he would change his mind and come back for good.

So anyway, this day she was feeling kind of lightheaded at work and figured that she hadn't had enough to eat so she went to the breakroom to get a candy bar, but she ended up throwing it up in the bathroom a few minutes later.  Pam was in there and asked if everything was okay, and she said she was fine except for the throwing up and the extreme tiredness.  Pam said, jokingly, "It almost sounds like you're pregnant."

Kelly looked back at her and said, "Oh my God!  Pam, you don't think..."

Pam tried to laugh and said, "Oh no, I just meant, if you were still seeing someone I would tell you to take a pregnancy test, but since you're not..."

She interrupted.  "Oh my God, I have totally had sex with Ryan!"

Pam just stared, eyebrows raised, and replied, "Um, recently?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen, he just showed up one night and one thing led to another and then... oh my God, do you really think I'm pregnant, Pam?"

"It's okay, I don't think you have anything to worry about.  I mean, you used protection, right?"

It was hard for Pam to understand what Kelly said next because it came in between tears and blubbering, but it was something to do with "pulled out" and "ran out of pills."  Regretting her decision to use the bathroom at that particular moment, Pam offered the best advice she could.  "Hey, why don't you take a test, you know, just to rule it out.  I'm sure it will be negative, and then you'll feel better."

An hour later Pam was back in the bathroom with Kelly, who had made her go to the drugstore with her and now was forcing her to wait while she peed on the stick.

"I can't be pregnant.  I just can't.  What will I do with a baby?  Oh my God, a baby!  There's no way Ryan wouldn't come back to me now, right, Pam?  He would have to come back and we would get married and raise the baby together and be a family.  Maybe it's not so bad after all.  I've always wanted to be a mom, you know."  She handed the test to Pam, who stifled an "Ew" as Kelly said, "You read it.  I can't do it."

Pam turned the test over and saw two pink lines.  "Um, Kelly, you're pregnant."

"No way!" Kelly shouted as she grabbed the test back.  "I'm going to have a baby!  A baby!"  Then she made a noise that was something between a squeal and a scream and started jumping up and down.  Pam wasn't sure whether she was happy or devastated.  It took a few minutes to calm Kelly down before she determined that she was, in fact, elated.  Kelly ran out of the ladies' room, still clutching the test in her hand.  Pam followed her.

"Wait, Kelly!  Where are you going?"

"I have to call Ryan.  He is going to have to move back here so we can get married."

Pam grabbed her arm and whispered, "Don't you think you're getting a little... um... ahead of yourself?  I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but something tells me he might not take this well."

"Well, duh.  I'm not stupid, Pam," she replied, rolling her eyes.  "But he'll get over it, and then he'll come back.  You'll see.  Thanks for your help."  She gave Pam a quick hug and scurried back to her desk.

Pam went back to reception, and a few minutes later was shocked to see Ryan walking through the door.  He apparently decided to come to Scranton a day early this week.  In his hand he held his cell phone out as if it had just bitten him, and he was white as a ghost.  Kelly soon came flying out of the kitchen, squealing, "Oh, I am so glad you're here!  Can you believe it?  You're going to be a daddy!"  Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared as Kelly jumped and threw her arms around him.  Ryan just maintained his shocked expression and didn't reply.

~
Ryan: "Am I surprised?  Yeah, you could say that.  Do I know what I am going to do?  No idea.  Hopefully I will get hit by a bus when I walk out the door today, so I won't have to think about it."

It was a few days before Thanksgiving, and she had been living with Michael for six months. Every day she would watch Oprah and Days of our Lives, surf the Internet, bake something, and wait for him to get home at 5:15. That is, on the days she didn't show up at the office in the middle of the day, to check in on him. Even though she wasn't his boss anymore that didn't mean she couldn't make sure he was doing his job. She wasn't technically allowed on company property since she had been fired, but that didn't matter. It's not like Michael was going to call security on her. She was his live-in girlfriend, after all.

She had decided a few months ago that if she was ever going to have a baby, it had to be soon. She was almost forty and she didn't want to be an old lady when her kid graduated high school. So she started charting her cycle and kept Michael on a strict schedule so they could have the best chance of conceiving. On her fertile days she made him have sex three or four times a day, and he usually would protest, asking to cuddle instead. Cuddling doesn't make babies, she would tell him, and he would comply, although he was always exhausted the next day and she would have to wake him up so they could have sex again before he went to work. Sometimes on those days she would meet him at the office and they would do it in the supply closet or the car if no one else was around. She didn't want to miss a fertile moment.

Of course, because she was trying to conceive she had to quit smoking and taking pain medication, which was a pretty big sacrifice for her. So she started taking yoga and eating organic food and generally trying to live a healthier lifestyle. And now she never felt better. Well, most of the time. There were also the times where she would cry to herself while watching Oprah, wondering how she ended up in this place.

On this day when she woke up she took her temperature and found that it hadn't dropped, even though her period was supposed to start that day. So she went into the bathroom and used her first morning's urine on one of the pregnancy tests that she had purchased in bulk from ebay. She waited a minute after peeing on it while it didn't seem to change at all, but then slowly she saw a second line start to appear. It was faint, but as the ladies' on her "TTC" message board would say, a line is a line. She beamed happily at the test, and decided that she needed to take a drive over to Dunder Mifflin to surprise Michael.

When she walked in the office she noticed that Pam wasn't at her desk. That girl is never doing her job, Jan thought to herself, but then reminding herself that it wasn't her concern anymore. Jim Halpert wasn't at his desk either, she noted, and decided they were probably off making out in the closet together. So unprofessional.

She only knocked once on Michael's door before she opened it.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully as she walked toward his desk.

"Oh, hey Jan, I was just doing some paperwork. I am super busy today," he said, adding, "So much so that I'm not sure I can even have time to talk to you, I'm so busy."

"Michael, what is it that you're doing exactly?"

He paused. "Oh, you know, the reports."

"What reports?"

"The ones... that I... have to... do."

She looked at him, exasperated. "You're just making that up, aren't you?"

"No," he said quickly, then "Yes." He put his head in his hands. "Okay."

She ignored him and smiled at him. "Well. I come bearing good news."

"Oh?"

She opened her purse and pulled out the pregnancy test, depositing it on his desk.

"What is that?" he asked, confused.

"It's a pregnancy test," she answered, "and it's positive."

He stared at it for a long time, then asked slowly, "And positive means good, so that means..."

"It means we're going to have a baby, Michael."

He just sat there for maybe a full minute before he asked, "Are you sure?"

"A line is a line, Michael."

"Wha- I mean, this is..." He couldn't complete his sentence.

"We'll have to get married, of course," Jan said, sitting down. "I was thinking maybe going back to Sandals, just the two of us, make it a private thing. Then we'll have to start looking at other houses because your condo is just too small."

"Okay," he said numbly.

"And I would appreciate you keeping this quiet for the time being, just in case, you know, it doesn't last."

He looked up. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Well, you know one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage," she replied.

"Oh no!" Michael stood up. "You should go home and go to bed right away."

"Michael, I am not going to stay in bed for nine months. If it happens, it happens. There's nothing anyone can do..."

"Well, it's not going to happen to MY baby!" he shouted. "Maybe we should get you a home nurse."

Jan sighed, stood up, and said, "Bye Michael. I'll see you at home."

A few minutes later, after Jan had left, Michael stood in front of the reception desk, staring out at his employees, smiling.

"Michael," Jim began, "is there something... you want to say?"

"No, it's just... I'm going to be a daddy!" he blurted out.

Pam and Jim looked at each other. Pam asked, hesitantly, "Is Jan pregnant?"

"Yeppers," he smiled. "And it's mine. My baby. I'm the daddy. Me. Can you believe it?"

"No," Jim said, "but congratulations. That's great."

~

Michael: "Am I looking forward to being a dad? Of course! I always thought I'd be a great dad someday. And that day is now. Well, not now, but nine months from now. And the thing about babies is, they always love their daddies. Unless their daddy is an asshole. But I'm not an asshole, so... it's all good."

This couldn't be happening, she told herself. There was no way she could be... in the family way. She had been taking her pills religiously. They had been careful.

But the doctor once again explained that yes, the test was positive, and yes, her symptoms could be explained by pregnancy.

"No!" she said sternly. "Do another test. It must be wrong."

The doctor sighed, and said, "I'm sorry it wasn't the news you wanted, Miss Martin, but you are most definitely pregnant."

She grabbed her purse and stormed out. What was she going to tell people? She wasn't married and she knew she was being sinful by doing... that with Dwight. No one even knew they were a couple. Well, no one except for Jim and Pam, but they had promised not to tell. Wait. Pam. She may be able to offer advice. She had been fairly helpful to Kelly when she had turned up pregnant last year. Angela shuddered at the thought of being in the same position as Kelly, but she decided it was better than nothing. She left the doctor's office and returned to work.

Pam was sitting at her desk, staring at something on her computer screen. Angela coughed, and Pam looked up. "Hello, Pam. Would you mind, um, coming with me for a second?" She lowered her voice. "I need to talk to you - about something."

Pam nodded and followed Angela to the breakroom, where they sat down at a table. Angela whispered, "So, you've been living in sin for most of your adult life..."

"What?" Pam glared at her.

"Nevermind. It's just that, say I have this friend," Angela began.

"Noelle?" Pam asked, her expression changing as she tried to suppress a smile.

"Yes, Noelle," Angela continued. "And say Noelle engaged in... activities... with her... companion."

"Kurt?"

"Yes, Kurt. And they were really careful but then one day Noelle ended up being... you know."

"Pregnant?"

"Pam!" Angela admonished. "Yes, expecting. And her family is really rather strict about these things, and she knows she will likely be disowned. Plus, her family doesn't actually know about Kurt, even though Noelle and Kurt have been together for - oh - two years or so." She looked up at Pam as if she expected her to fill in the rest herself.

"Well," Pam began, "I would probably suggest to Noelle that maybe she tell her parents about Kurt first, and that she... intends to marry him?" She looked at Angela, questioningly.

Angela was silent for a few moments, then replied, "Well, it's not like Kurt has ever proposed or anything."

"But you've - I mean, they've - talked about it, right? I mean it's been more than two years..."

"Sometimes these things are more complicated than two people just shacking up!" Angela shouted, getting up from the table and slamming her fists down.

"Wow. Angela, wait. Getting all upset is not going to help," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "your condition."

Angela blinked, and sat back down.

"What did Dwight say?" Pam asked.

"Hmmm?"

"What did Dwight say when you told him?"

Angela hestitated. "Well, I haven't yet," she admitted.

"Well," Pam said slowly, "maybe you should start there."

For the first time Angela's steely exterior looked like it was going to break. "I can't," she responded, and Pam thought she saw the hint of tears in her eyes.

"Why?"

"Because this isn't the way it was supposed to happen," Angela said, resigned.

"Maybe. Or maybe, it was. You know, sometimes God works in mysterious ways," Pam replied, "even to sinners."

Angela shot her a glare, but it quickly melted as she realized Pam was right. "Thank you, Pam," she said as she got up and set off to find Dwight. She found him at his desk, having just arrived from a sales call.

"Dwight, may I speak to you for a moment?" she said, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

Dwight looked up, somewhat surprised that Angela was speaking directly to him instead of cornering him covertly in the kitchen as was usually their custom.

"Certainly, Angela," he said, and followed her not to the kitchen, as he was expecting, but instead outside to the parking lot. They didn't speak on the elevator ride down. Dwight would have been nervous, if it were possible for a Schrute to experience nervousness.

"Dwight, I went to the doctor's today," Angela began, "and I got some surprising news. It seems that I am... expecting." She whispered the last word so it was barely audible.

"What?" Dwight asked.

Angela was exasperated. She didn't want to have to say it again. "I'm pregnant, Dwight," she snapped.

Dwight was in shock. He stood looking at her for quite some time before the corners of his mouth turned upward into a smile.

"Excellent," he said, simply.

~
Dwight: "Am I looking forward to being a father? Absolutely. We Schrutes make excellent fathers, and I plan on carrying on that tradition proudly. Angela wasn't too happy about our little secret getting out, but she has nothing to be ashamed of. She will be a Schrute herself soon enough, and the Schrute bloodline will be carried on by the child in her womb." He pauses. "And best of all, we'll have someone else to work the beet farm in five years or so."

There was a thunderstorm outside, and she sat in the window of her hotel room watching the rain fall. She didn't have the energy to drag herself out into the rain for another day of apartment hunting, so she just sat there, daydreaming.

It had been three weeks since Jim had broken up with her, and two weeks since she started her new job at the Dunder Mifflin headquarters. It wasn't the job she had originally applied for - Ryan had gotten that one - but it was an okay job and one that had gotten her the hell out of Scranton as quickly as humanly possible. She wanted nothing more than to erase the last six months from her memory, even though, to be honest, most of those memories were nice ones.

She had really, truly been in love with Jim, and the breakup hurt her worse than anything else she could remember. But if she were honest with herself, she knew her relationship with Jim was never going to last. The simple fact was that she just was not Pam, and she would never be Pam, but she had hoped that maybe if he went to New York with her, he would eventually learn to love her.

But here she was, sitting in a hotel room, alone, watching the rain and reflecting on her choices. She was strong, and she would get past this. She knew that much.

She wasn't feeling so great though, and she suddenly felt like she had to lie down. The weather sometimes affected her, especially thunderstorms like this one where there was so much electricity in the air. As she lay in bed, dozing off, her thoughts drifted back to her last night with Jim, in a hotel room very much like this one, three weeks ago.

He had sat on the edge of the bed while she got undressed, not watching her, just kind of staring off into space. When she had her silk pajamas on she sat down next to him and rubbed his back. "I had fun tonight," she said softly.

"Me too," he replied.

"I love you," she said, hoping that maybe, this time, he would say it back. But instead he put his hands on her face and drew her toward him, his lips meeting hers somewhat frantically. They fell back on the bed and he pulled her on top of him, quickly removing the nightie she had just put on moments before.

A little while later after they had made love, she watched him sleeping peacefully with his head half under one pillow and his arm flopped over the side of the bed. And that's the first time she thought that maybe he was never going to say it.

And now as she remembered that night, she felt the hollow empty feeling in her chest again. She felt like crying, and wondered when she got so emotional. She was usually so levelheaded. Maybe I just have PMS, she thought. Suddenly she bolted upright in the bed. Something wasn't right. She ran over to the desk and opened her day planner. It was already June ninth. Her period had been due on June second.

"Oh my God," she said out loud. Between the move and the breakup and the new job and everything that was going on in her life, she totally forgot about her stupid period. She had thought that her fatigue and raging emotions were due to stress. And she was always so regular; she could run a calendar off her cycles.

She collapsed on the bed and started sobbing. No, it can't be, she thought, we were always careful. What would she do? Maybe she wouldn't tell him. There was a chance he would never find out; it's not like he went to the New York office regularly or anything. She could raise the baby alone. Plenty of people do it everyday.

But she knew that wasn't an actual option. She would have to tell him. She wondered how he would take it. Would he be angry? No, probably not. He would probably be sad. Then her mind went in a different direction, and she thought, wait a minute, maybe this would be enough, maybe he would want her again. After all, if she were carrying his child... well, that would be something she had that Pam didn't.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all. But she had to know for sure. She grabbed her umbrella and headed out into the rain to find a drugstore.

A half hour later she was back in her room, staring at the box she held in her hand. She thought of Jim, and his lopsided grin and his sense of humor and the way he made her feel like no one ever had before. She would give anything to have that back again. She opened the box, removed the test and slowly walked into the bathroom.

She unwrapped the test and put it out on the counter. Her heart was beating so fast she couldn't hear herself think. But as she got ready to take the test she was met with a surprise - her period had arrived.

She felt the tears come. She didn't know whether it was relief or disappointment, but she stared at the test, thinking maybe she should take it anyway. Her period was so late that maybe she was actually having a miscarriage. She had two friends who had that exact thing happen to them. For a long time she held the test in her hand, just looking at it, and then tossed it in the trash.

It was better this way.

~

Jim: "Karen? No, I haven't heard from her. I hear she's doing well though. I feel bad for the way things ended between us, but to be honest, she deserved so much more than I could give her. And I'm sure she'll find that someday. Or maybe she already has. I hope so."

It was a Saturday in January, and they were spending it lazily putting the final touches on their wedding which was to take place the following month.  They were going to California and having a small wedding at a vineyard, with only family in attendance.  They didn't want a big wedding since Pam had already gone through the motions of one once before, and really all they wanted was to just be married.  After the wedding they were going to spend a week there for a honeymoon.  Pam had always wanted to see the Pacific Ocean.

As Jim sat at the computer making sure everything was taken care of, Pam lay on the bed.  At one point she started to doze off.

"Hey!" Jim said, startling her.  "You okay?"

She sat up.  "Yeah, I'm fine.  Why do you ask?"

"Well, you've been so tired the past few days.  Yesterday at work you fell asleep at your desk, and just now you fell asleep in mid-sentence."

She thought about it for a minute.  "Maybe I'm coming down with something," she said.

"Well, I hope not.  We have a busy month ahead of us."  He stood up and bent over to kiss her softly on the cheek, then headed out of the room.

"Jim!" she called after him.

"Yes?"

"Could you bring back something to eat?  I'm starving!"

He chuckled and returned a few minutes later with a plate of nachos.  He watched her as she scarfed them down.  When she looked up at him, he seemed as if he wanted to say something. 

"Is something wrong?" she asked, wiping cheese off her chin.

"No... well, I don't know, it's just..." He hesitated.  "Pam, don't freak out or anything, but do you think you could be, you know, pregnant?"

"What?" she yelped, standing up from the bed as the plate went flying.

"Wait, I said don't freak out!" he said, gently placing his hands on her shoulders.  "Just that, remember that time a couple weeks ago, where we forgot to...  And now you're acting all tired and hungry and moody."

"And that's how you diagnose pregnancy, Doctor?" she asked, flippantly.

"Well," he replied, "yeah.  You do make me watch the Discovery Health Channel a lot."  He smiled.  "But maybe you should take a test.  Doc Halpert is not infallible."

She stared at him.  "Jim, I can't be.  Besides, I'm not late yet.  Aunt Flo should be in town tomorrow."

"Okay, well, maybe you're right.  I just think it might be worth checking out, that's all."

A little while later they stood in front of the family planning section in the CVS, examining the pregnancy tests.  "I have no idea which one to get," Pam said, frustrated.

"Does it really matter?  They all do the same thing," Jim responded, and he picked one up.  "Here, this one says you can use it five days before your missed period.  Perfect.  Let's go."

They went home and Pam nervously went straight to the bathroom with the test.  She stopped before she got to the door and without turning around said, "Jim, what if it's positive?  What will we do?"

Jim wrapped his arms around her from behind and whispered in her ear, "We'll be fine."

She went into the bathroom and emerged a minute later with the test in her hand. 

"Well?" he asked.

"I couldn't look.  Here," she said as she put it in his hand.

He stared down at it as she said, "Two lines means positive, one line means negative."

He looked up at her, and a huge smile appeared on his face.  "Two lines," he said, grinning.

"What?  Are you sure?"  She grabbed it back and looked at it.  "Oh my God.  There are two lines!"  She didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so instead she swatted Jim's chest as she repeated, "Two lines!"

They both started jumping up and down and then he grabbed her, lifting her up off the floor and spinning them around.

"I don't believe it," she said as he put her down.  "How did this happen?  Oh my God, Jim.  We're getting married in a month!  How are we going to do this?"

"Don't worry about any of that," he replied.  "It will all be fine.  We're going to have a baby!"

She glanced up at him.  "So I guess we're happy about this then?" she asked with a smile.

"I guess," he said.  "I know it's not what we planned and we were going to wait a few years, but... we're going to have a baby!"

For a long moment they stared at the test in her hands, then he said seriously, "Uh-oh.  You know what this means."

"What?" she asked, concerned.

"Playdates with the Schrute twins!"

"Shut up!" she laughed, and she pulled him down for a kiss.

-
Monday morning Jim was standing in the kitchen in the office, still high on the news of his impending fatherhood.  He was just staring at his cup of coffee, smiling.  A few minutes later Michael entered, humming to himself happily.

He greeted Jim enthusiastically.  "Morning, Jimbag!"

"Hey Michael, how was your weekend?"

"Oh, it was great.  You would not believe what Mikey did.  He crawled!  I mean, it was just like a couple of inches, but he scooted across the floor.  It was awesome.  He's so advanced for his age."

Jim smiled.  "I'm sure he is."

Just then Dwight came into the kitchen.  His shoulders were slumped and he muttered something as he opened the fridge. 

"Um, are you looking for the coffee?" Jim said, gesturing to the coffee pot.

"Coffee.  Yes," Dwight replied, and poured himself a cup.

"Another tough night?"

"Jim, it is a fact that babies are deceptively evil.  They will stop at nothing to keep their parents awake." He sighed, and muttered "monsters" under his breath.

"Oh, Dwight, just wait," Michael said.  "It's totally worth it.  When they look at you and say 'Dada' with their big blue eyes..."

"Your baby speaks to you through his eyes?" Jim teased.

Michael shook his head.  "You know what I mean.  I mean, Mikey doesn't talk per se, but he will soon enough."

Dwight just grunted.  At that moment Ryan walked in.  "Hey guys."

"What are you doing here today?"  Michael asked, accusingly.  More than a year and a half later, he still hadn't forgiven Ryan for becoming his boss.

"We were here for the weekend, visiting family, being made to feel inadequate, you know, that sort of thing," he replied.

"How's the baby?" Jim asked.

"Oh she's great.  She babbles now.  A... lot."  His eyes glazed over for a moment before he shook himself out of it.  "But yeah, she's great."

Jim grinned to himself as he exited the kitchen and headed back to his desk.  Yes, he thought, this was going to be an adventure.

He stopped at the reception desk and smiled goofily at Pam.

"What?" she asked, yawning.

"Nothing.  Just... I love you.  Both of you."


~

Jim, smiling:  "Wow."