Five X-Files Monsters in Scranton by dylan619xf
Summary:

Five memorable X-Files MotW meet five Dunder Mifflin Employees.

I added a violence/injury warning even though it's nothing graphic...just creepy. If you can watch The X-Files, you can read this.

Office spoilers for The Fight (insanely minor, but just in case)

X-Files Spoilers for Pusher/Kitsunegari, Irresistible, Tooms/Squeeze, The Host and Post-Modern Prometheus.

Rated T because I was watching The X-Files when I was 12 and I could handle it, fool!


Categories: Crossover Characters: Dwight, Jan, Jim, Karen, Pam
Genres: Drabble
Warnings: Violence/Injury
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes Word count: 500 Read: 7473 Published: June 13, 2007 Updated: June 13, 2007
Story Notes:

I do not own anything related to The Office or The X-Files.

This came about after a visit back home and staying with my best friend. We watched an episode of Gilmore Girls and freaking Donnie Pfaster (well, the actor who played DP) was in the episode, so I went to the TWoP forums and the re-cap called him "Mr. Friendly" and it's like, NO!  So then we were thinking what if Donnie Pfaster would be in Scranton?  Which turned into a 5 Things fic. I wrote the first three parts on the airplane ride from Baltimore to Minneapolis, and the last two since I've been back.

Thanks to sharky for the quick read through!

This is for Annie!

PS- I hate the title, but I couldn't think of anything so I went with the straightforward approach

1. Dwight/Pusher by dylan619xf

2. Pam/Donnie Pfaster by dylan619xf

3. Karen/Tooms by dylan619xf

4. Jim/Flukeman by dylan619xf

5. Jan/The Great Mutato by dylan619xf

Dwight/Pusher by dylan619xf

After the incidents in Virginia, he had to move to Scranton, lowering the chance of any potential run-ins with two particular FBI agents. It turned out the martial arts community was surprisingly excellent so he started teaching some classes, trying to keep a low profile. The only problem was the thirty-something moon faced purple belt in Goju Ryu who acted like an annoying know-it-all. After a few weeks of Dwight's poking around, Robert Patrick Modell decided it was time for the senpai to choke on one of the beets from the Schrute Family Farm. So much for a low profile.

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Pam/Donnie Pfaster by dylan619xf

He escaped the Twin Cities after the red-headed bitch (NOT her natural color)  threw a tantrum. Scranton was an ideal location- close proximity to major cities, small town charm, and lots of women in need of proper hair care. He found her at the grocery store buying White Rain for normal hair. She obviously needed him. He sat in the parking lot of Dunder Mifflin. His eyes followed her as she rushed to her Yaris. The woman’s frizzy hair spilled out from the wool cap, and he thought, this woman needs a deep condition, as he started his car.

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Karen/Tooms by dylan619xf
Author's Notes:


It had been fourteen years and he needed to refuel. The trip from Baltimore was exhausting; he didn't eat enough during the last feeding. He saw her at the Steamtown Mall after emerging from his nest in dire need of a good meal. He followed her home and squeezed into the apartment complex duct system. After a few wrong turns, he finally found her and waited in the duct above her bathroom. The white towel stood out against her olive skin as she tested the water temperature in the shower. He licked his lips -- it was finally feeding time.
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Jim/Flukeman by dylan619xf

It had been floating off the coast of New Jersey trying to get close enough to shore to reproduce, when something brushed against him.  It lunged, bit, and quickly retreated towards deeper water. Jim jerked from his floating position, pain shooting from four small holes in his calf. A week later, Jim was taking a cold shower after work -- Thank you, Pam -- when a weird, bitter taste suddenly filled his mouth. He felt something move inside him and he coughed so violently he collapsed. The last thing he ever saw was a tiny worm sliding down the drain.

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Jan/The Great Mutato by dylan619xf
The Great Mutato hadn’t found love even after the Jerry Springer Show, so it was with a heavy heart he left his home in search of a wife.  He traveled from California towards the east, and arrived in Scranton, Pennsylvania frustrated.  The bags were dropped at the motel and he decided to catch a movie.  He found The One, walking down Spruce Street in stretch pants.  She was humming a Cher song-- it had to be a sign—so he followed her until she went inside a condo.  When he was certain no one was around, he quickly crept inside.
End Notes:

The conquest of fear lies in the moment of its acceptance. And understanding what scares us most is that which is most familiar, most common place... It's been said that the fear of the unknown is an irrational response to the excesses of the imagination. But our fear of the everyday, of the lurking stranger, and the sound of foot-falls on the stairs, the fear of violent death and the primitive impulse to survive, are as frightening as any x-file, as real as the acceptance that it could happen to you. -Fox Mulder in Irresistible (2x13)

 

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