“Moooooooon River, wiiiiider than a miiiiiiiiile. I’m crooooooosing yoou in style, somedaaaaaaaaay,” the words echoed loudly off the brick walls of the alleyway between Poor Richards and the dress shop next door.

            Pam giggled from her position under Jim’s arm, trying to stifle the noise in his chest when he leaned more heavily into her as the copious amounts of alcohol he’d consumed that night began to hit him full force.

            “Hey Beeeezley,” he slurred, catching her attention. His generous mouth was pulled back in that dopey grin that always made him look all of twelve. With his new hair cut all askew, he came across as adorable as a ten-year-old. He squinted his hazel eyes and poked at the end of her nose with this long index finger. “Yer so cute,” and then it was his turn to giggle.

            Pam shook her head with a bemused smile. “You’re lucky I love you so much, Halpert,” she said. “Otherwise, I’d have left you at the mercy of Michael and Dwight.” Jim pulled a comically disgruntled face at her comment.

            “That’s just mean, Beez,” he pouted. “You’d drink too if you had to sit between the two of them talking about how to satisfy my woman’s ‘needs’.” His exaggerated grimace said it all.

            “That’s not really what they were talking about all night, was it?” She asked, amazed and horrified.

            He nodded emphatically. “They started out by warning me that if I let the sex get boring, you’d drop me flat, like you did Roy,” he shuddered at them memory, closing his eyes. “Then, that somehow led to them trying to one up each other on how they kept their “little women” satisfied in the sack. I thought if I drank enough beer, I could drown it all out, but it didn’t work at all. Pam, I’m lucky I got outta there alive! I don’t care how much they tease me Monday about being whipped! It was AWEFUL!”

            She couldn’t stop the loud burst of laughter that escaped her. After ten years with Roy, she had come to dread the “boys’ night out” at the bar. Drunk Roy was one of two things, ruff and angry, or callous and dismissive.  Both had hurt her repeatedly in the past.  Drunk Jim on the other hand, was always entertaining. When he came back from a night out with Mark and his basketball buddies, he was all smiles, tickles, and sloppy kisses.  On nights like tonight, when he was forced to play BFFs with Michael, he would pout like a little boy, cuddling up and clinging to her seeking a sympathetic embrace. He always amused her on these rare occasions when he got like this and she had learned very quickly what to do with a drunken Halpert.

            “Aww, poor Jimmy,” she cooed and ran her fingers through his thick hair. “Did they make you picture Jan and Angela naked?”

            “Worse Beesley,” his voice grave and wide eyes serious. “I had to picture THEM naked!”

            “That’s cruel and unusual punishment right there,” she commiserated and he bobbed his head up and down in agreement. “Would chocolate chip pancakes when we get back to my place make it all better?”

            ‘Yes, Beesley,” He smiled brightly. “They would in deed.”

            “So, you gonna tell me what today was about?” Pam pinned her cell phone between her ear and shoulder in order to flip the grilled cheese sandwich she was making over in the pan.  A frustrated sigh was her greeting.

            “No,” Jim’s voice was irritated, scratchy, and something else she couldn’t place right away.  The tone caused her spine to stiffen in response.

            “Oh really,” She questioned, her voice rising in both decibel and pitch.

            “Yeah,” was the only response he offered and she could hear the sound of glass heavily hitting wood coming from his end.

            “So, you’re not going to offer any explanation for why you stormed out of the office after you get a call from Ryan and I’m making grilled cheese in my apartment alone instead of out dinner with you, on our anniversary?” She tired to keep the hurt out of her words, but she knew she’d failed miserably when she’d heard him groan.

            “Damn it,” he cursed, loudly.  “I forgot all about tonight. Fuck! I am so, so sorry Beesly.” He took a deep unsteady breath and all the hurt she had felt was overshadowed by concern.  Jim had been planning tonight for weeks, closing guarding this secret way he intended to celebrate their six months together with childish glee.  Something very serious must have happened to drive those plans out of his mind. Something else occurred to her.

            “Jim, are you drunk?” She asked softly and was surprised by the wet, unsteady laugh that followed.

            “A little bit, I think,” he answered. “I’ve been sitting her with that bottle of Glen you gave me for my birthday since I got home so...yeah. I’m well on my way. Fucking Ryan…”

            When he trailed off, Pam felt a cold chill run through her.

            “Jim, what did Ryan say to you?” As the silence stretched on, she tentatively asked the question she had been dreading the answer to since Ryan had called this afternoon and had with exaggerated formality ask to be transferred to Jim. “Are you getting transferred again?”

            “No,” he answered softly. “That wouldn’t be so bad.”

            Pam’s brows furrowed with confusion. She knew if Jim ever did get transferred, she’d follow him if he asked, but what could be worse than him having to leave Scranton before they were really ready.

            “Then what did he say, Jim?”

            There was a long moment of silence. In her mind, she could picture Jim sitting with the phone to his ear and frowning into his glass of whiskey. Finally, he spoke and his words surprised her.

            “You can’t say a word to anyone, Pam,” he began. “I’m serious. I’m not supposed to even tell you about it.”

            The formality of his words reminded her that she wasn’t just talking to her boyfriend, but to her boss. Her boss needed to ensure the confidentiality of this conversation before her boyfriend could talk to her about his problems.

            “You know I won’t say anything, Jim,” she soothed. “you know you can always tell me anything.”

            “No, I know,” he agreed quickly, letting the mantle of Assistant Regional Manager fall off his shoulders. “It’s just that Ryan old me today that effective Monday, I’m being promoted to Regional Manager.” She could hear him take a drink after finishing his statement.

            “I don’t understand. How can you be promoted to Regional manager and not be transferred...” She trailed off as understanding washed over her. No wonder he was so upset. “Oh my God.”

            “Exactly,” he replied bitterly.

            “Does Michael know yet?”  She asked.

            “Given the telling lack of hysterics from both him and Dwight, I’d say no,” his voice was sad, weary.

            Pam shook her head. She had wondered if Michael’s position as Regional Manager was in jeopardy once Ryan went to corporate, but she had thought after so much time had passed that her worries had been unfounded.

            “And Ryan just expected you to sit on this for the rest of the week?”

            The bitterness was back in Jim’s voice full force. “I would be surprised if the little bastard was planning on making me be the one to break the fucking bad news!”

            Pam was silent for a while, mulling things over.

            “Seriously Jim,” she began. “How much of that bottle have you drank?”

            He sighed. “About half,” he admitted.

            “I’m coming over,” she stated as she gathered up her purse and her car keys. She heard his uncharacteristic whimper as she turned off her stove and tossed the now burned sandwich in the trash.

            “You shouldn’t have to take care of my grouchy, drunk ass on our anniversary, Beesly,” he apologized.  “I’m so sorry I forgot about dinner, tonight. I wanted things to be special, not like…” As his words trailed off she knew without asking that he meant he had wanted to show her he was better than Roy had been.

            “Yeah, well it’s not your fault Ryan has terrible timing,” She soothed. “If it was me, and he put me in the same position, I’d be drinking too.”  She locked her front door and made her way to her car.

            “I had reservations at that fancy new place you wanted to try and everything.” By his tone, she could tell he was pouting.

            “Well, Halpert,” She began jokingly in an attempt to cheer him up. “How about I make you anything you wan when I get over there?”

            “Grilled Cheese?” He asked tentatively and she chuckled.

            “If it will make you feel better,” she allowed and he finally laughed in response.

            “You know, it would make me feel even better if you were naked while you made it for me,” she could tell he was grinning in that lopsided way he had whenever he talked about sex. She shook her head and snorted out a laugh.

            “Dork.”